Thank you very much for your kind messages of support

Hi guys. I just want to do a really quick post to say thank you so much for your kind messages of support both here on my blog as well as on Facebook. I just want to respond as well to some the points that you guys have made about what had happened. For those of you who aren't aware of what happened to me lastweek, please may I direct you to my previous post (so I don't have to retell the story here), thanks.

1. Act first, think later?

Never mind planning - I was not even thinking about what the hell I was doing. And yeah, there are times in your life when you do things like that. I suppose there are two kinds of people - type one are those who will walk into a shop, see something they like. Then they will then go online and check if the price is reasonable and if they can get it cheaper elsewhere before finally deciding if they would buy the item. Type two are those who will make a decision on the spot based on just how much they like the item. Then there are those who will be a bit of both - I would like to think that I am usually type one when it comes to shopping for clothes, but when it comes to dealing with people I am definitely type two. Call it passionate or impulsive but sometimes, I surprise myself at how quickly I react. But so much for trying to predict what I would do in such a situation, I guess I can be a lot more impulsive than I actually thought.

Act first, think later? Or do you think first?

2. The last straw that broke the camel's back.

Thus in this case, I spoke up, got shot down and then decision to quit came the moment I was told to shut up. In hindsight, perhaps that was the last straw that broke the camel's back - that's why I rejected so negatively when I was told to shut up about it. There have been loads of things that have upset me whilst working with this company over the years and I have shut up and ignored them over the years. After all, being told to shut up about the issue is really no big deal at the end of the day - far worse things have been said and done in the office over the years to be honest and I've somehow manage to get through all of the other episodes. Like I said before, that has probably got a lot to do with the way I have learnt to cope with life during NS. I guess one never knows when that last straw is going to come and how that camel is going to fall when that back does finally break; and what happened was really the last straw.

The last straw that broke the camel's back?

3. I made a point but changed nothing. 

Let's get real here. They got rid of that trainee, they can get a new one easily as there are plenty of young people who are desperate for a chance to get a job, to get some work experience and this is the financial services industry we're talking about. We're not talking about a dead end job working for minimum pay, we're talking about getting your foot in the door in a very lucrative industry that could lead to greater things. I left, they will replace me with someone else who is happy and willing to shut up when told to do so and nothing will change in that company. I may have caused some inconvenience in leaving them at a busy time, but in the bigger scheme of things - nothing has changed since my departure and nothing will. Such is the reality of the situation; I could take it or leave it. I finally chose to leave it.

Did I actually change anything? No, not really. 

4. What am I worth in the labour market? 

As I put myself out on the market again, I was able to find out what I could potentially earn - I am a unique individual with a certain set of skills; what I can potentially earn would be a reflection of whether there is a demand for people with my kind of skills. By that token, everyone's earning potential is a figure that is unique to their personal circumstances: their qualifications, their experiences, their availability, what they are willing to do etc. Thus when I made myself available to Mr IC's company, he was quite happy to put a figure on what he was willing to pay for me to go work for him. I was extremely flattered by that figure. Had I not put myself out in the market, I would not have realized just how much I am actually worth. It is always good to remind yourself of that every once in a while.

What are you worth in the labour market?

5. Are you focusing on the future or the present?

I guess when you get so busy with the tasks at hand, when you wake up on Monday morning and your phone is already going crazy with all these emails that are waiting to be answered, it is hard to think about the long term future. Last Monday morning, I could barely think beyond the end of the working day as I had a list of things that simply had to be done that very day. Today, I had just one work email regarding handover duties and it freed me up to think about the longer term future instead of dwelling on the present. Was I happy doing what I was doing? I suppose I was happy enough, but where was it leading me? What would I achieve if I continued down that path? Was it where I needed or wanted to be? Or do I need to stop and change the settings on my GPS to a different destination altogether?

Do you know where you really want to go?

So there you go. I am going to BBC Media City near Manchester to do a contract with BBC radio 4 at the end of the month, so I am just going to chill and prepare for it. I've done a similar contract for them before and enjoyed it a lot. So for now, I am going to have another cup of coffee now and read the scripts I have been sent for that recording. Then I may get back to some more blogging later. Thank you so much for reading and your kind support, as always.