Sorry I'm going through a strange patch...

Hi everyone. I am very sorry I've not been blogging enough of late, it takes time to blog and I have been spending a lot of my free time talking with my friends instead. The thing is that I'm have a crazy week at work and it has been very stressful to say the least. I had a new trainee start and leave the job within 5 days. Such is the nature of the 'trial period' that I have talked about in a recent post - if you don't meet their expectations during your trail period, they can get rid of you just like that. This is why starting a new job is possibly one of the most stressful experiences in life.

Did I do the right thing?

I did felt he was harshly treated. Yes he had a very slow start and yes he did make many mistakes but he was new and I was willing to give him enough time and space to do enough training in the first few weeks at least to get familiar with the new tasks he was assigned and complete them to a high enough standard. A lot of pressure was put on the new guy to deliver within the first week - yes there was a part of him that really crumbled under pressure but I was prepared to be understanding and forgiving as his line manager but the management were a lot less tolerant of his mistakes. To cut a long story short, the new guy saw the writing on the wall and jumped before he was pushed on Friday morning. I suppose that was the least he could do to salvage some pride and quite frankly, I was not surprised he did that given how he had reacted quite badly to the criticisms heaped on him in the first few days. I don't know, perhaps it's because of my NS experience - I have grown a very thick skin and I have learnt not to let criticisms like that bother me. Could my trainee have coped better? Of course, his performance in the first week was totally dismal to say the least, but still I couldn't condone the way he was treated. I don't know what got into me, I reacted differently.

Maybe it was because I felt that the trainee had been treated very unfairly. Maybe it was because I felt that I could speak up because I really didn't need the job - I had more than enough passive income from other sources (royalties from work I've done plus my rental income), so the management knew that I wasn't reliant on this job to make ends meet or support a family. Very naively, I thought that gave me the right to speak my mind about what had happened. I was wrong - I spoke up and  was told point blank that I should never speak up like that ever again (in a less than civil way). Normally, I would ignore that and just turn the other cheek - it wasn't the first time the directors have said something harsh with me like that and it's just words. But today, I didn't get angry, but I just felt a sense of realization that enough is enough. Perhaps it's my character as well - I felt it was a matter of principle. There is a saying in Chinese that doesn't really translate very well into English: 我是一个很讲义气的人 and for better or for worse, I simply could not ignore what had happened. And if I didn't stand up for my trainee, who was going to stand up for me?

I wasn't obliged to stand up for my trainee - but I did.

Perhaps some of you have already watched House of Cards Season 3 (major spoiler alert- don't read this paragraph if you intend to watch House of Cards Season 3), I have already finished it. Frank Underwood's world was falling apart towards the end of season 3, the way he demanded everyone to do exactly as he tells them to has left him very isolated. One by one, the people around him either desert him or turn against him: Dunbar, Jackie, Remy and then finally even his own wife Claire deserts him. And in every single case, each character discovers something new in himself/herself when they finally set themselves free from Underwood's control. Perhaps you may think that I am mad to behave like a character from a TV show I have watched, but such is the person I am. I was going to do a Remy Danton - Remy walked out and resigned over the way Jackie Sharp was mistreated by President Underwood.

So I told them that I was prepared to walk and leave the company over this - no reply from one director and the other director asked, "can we talk on Monday?" To be honest I didn't know what I was even trying to achieve - the trainee has left and there was no possibility of him coming back. Would I ever get the director to apologize to me for telling me to shut up like that or for the way the trainee was treated? No way. I know people like that - my mother is one such person. She thought that if she ever apologized to me even when she was in the wrong, I wouldn't respect her as a mother. She equated having a sense of authority with never having to apologize. Ironically, I lost all my respect for her by the time I was about 14 because I felt that she was so wrong to have such a misguided stance about respect. I tolerated her stupidity, even pitied her at times, but I never respected my own mother. Likewise, I had a director who felt that it was his right never to apologize even when he was in the wrong because he was paying my salary. He didn't care if I didn't respect him as long as he didn't need to utter the word 'sorry' to an employee.  Respect is earned, not demanded. What is the point of refusing to apologize when you simply lose the other party's respect in the process? Isn't that a far higher price to pay than to say the word 'sorry'?

As I reconciled myself that I had probably gone past the point of no return, I set aside handing over my duties to my colleagues. I then contacted an important client (let's call him IC for "important client") via Skype to inform him that I am probably going to go and whom he needed to talk to instead (as I was his account manager). He turned around and said, "look we're about to expand our operations in London, why don't you come and work for me? Are you available as of now?" We spent 2 hours on Skype talking about his investment projects around the world and I was particularly fascinated by his company's activities in the emerging markets. I then asked, "is there the opportunity for travel if I work for you?" And he said, "if you're happy to travel, we will put you on a plane as soon as possible as there are many meetings to attend all over the world." Oh, I found it very hard to conceal my excitement at that thought.

I want to travel the world and visit different countries.

IC then talked about some figures of how much I could potentially earn with his company and let's just say, it exceeded my expectations by a very, very long way. You see, I have earned big money before when I worked full time in sales but that was in commission. This guy was willing to offer me a generous package without even expecting me to earn it in commission. I had already become quite accustomed to living a fairly modest but comfortable life from my passive income that I had accumulated over the years, I liked the idea of getting loads of sleep, having plenty of time for my holidays and spending a lot of time in the gym but this job offer seemed too good to pass up. Particularly the thought of traveling to all these exotic countries in the emerging markets - it all sounds so exciting.

I'm not asking you to follow my example. My former trainee is currently unemployed and miserable - he is grateful for the fact that I stood up for him but nothing I do now is going to change the fact that he doesn't have a job and he has bills to pay. I think he has found some temp work to earn a bit of money in the meantime. What I did was highly impulsive and reckless, but I guess there comes a time when you feel compelled to do something to make a statement - it was the kind of stunt that some character on House of Cards would pull but it was just unbelievable how quickly this job offer came the moment I had put myself back in the job market and the first person outside the company who heard the news offered me a job offer that seemed too good to turn down. It's now the weekend and nothing will happen till Monday, but I certainly have a lot to think about this weekend. And no, I am not going to go back to the old job -  好马不吃回头草 and I think it is definitely time for this horse to move onto greener pastures.

Surely it is important to feel happy in your job

So yes, I have had a lot on my mind of late and have been busy talking to my friends and siblings. I have quite a few unfinished blog and vlog posts which I will get back to once the dust settles. Thank you very much for reading.