Week 9: Made it, I've reached the end!

I have reached the end of week 9 and the entire production - there were some people who were emotional at the party last night for they thought they were going to miss the show. But me, ha - I couldn't wait for it to end. Don't get me wrong, I had made some incredibly good friends during the show but I couldn't put up with those I didn't like for even another day. It was such a great feeling this morning to wake up knowing that I never have to go back to that show ever again. This was such a contrast from when I had finished filming in Belgium back in January, I felt such a 依依不舍 feeling as I had to leave the lovely cast and crew in Liege and return to London. But last night, it was just a tremendous sense of relief as the last show ended.

Before we focus on the end, let me recap some of the things that happened this week. Some of you will remember the racist joke incident which I experienced in week 7 - did the people involved learn their lesson? One did, the other didn't. Calvo didn't learn his lesson and he got into trouble for racism, again. This time it was complicated as it was done in Spanish. Now we have a fairly big Spanish-speaking contingent in the cast - not all of them are from Spain, many of them are in fact from Central and South American countries which are Spanish speaking and indeed, there are other cast members who are from European countries who do speak Spanish fairly fluently. I do speak Spanish and am able to participate in these Spanish conversations that go on backstage all the time amongst the Spanish speakers.

Now Calvo made anti-Mexican/Nicaraguan/Belize/Honduras/Colombian etc jokes on several occasions. Mexicans and other central Americans have been subjected to racist abuse for decades in America, being the poorer neighbours to the south of the border. I had thought that these anti-Mexican jokes were most made by ignoring Americans - but Calvo went there and made some pretty downright nasty anti-central Americans jokes. Now the Latin Americans in the cast are extremely well educated and came from a rich families - that is why they were able to get to where they are today. The kind of racist jokes Calvo made were not funny - they revolved around negative stereotypes of Latin Americans being lazy and being illegal immigrants in America. I did speak up each time Calvo made such racist jokes about Latin Americans this week, "That's racist, you can't say that." Then I would repeat it in Spanish just to make sure the message sunk in, "Eso es racista, no peude decir lo." Calvo would then turn to me and say (in English), "Oh no no, maybe you didn't understand it in Spanish, you didn't get it - it was just a joke, I wasn't being racist at all. I wasn't calling her an illegal immigrant... I know she is here legally even if is from that part of the world..."

Sometimes there's far more drama backstage, away from the audience.

When he left the room, the Latina actress who is from central America broke down and cried. She had just about had enough of his racist abuse and she confessed that it had been going on for weeks. She said, "Yes there are poor people in my country but so what? Does it give him the right to talk about me as if I am some kind of illegal immigrant who had to walk through the desert in Arizona to find a new life in America? I worked hard to get to where I am today, I achieved my success through hard work - what makes him think he can treat me like that? I tell myself, rise above it, rise above it, he's not worth getting angry over - but he doesn't even realize how hurt I feel or how I can be offended when he talks about people from my country like that because I am whom I am, I didn't pick the country I was born in - he feels it's perfectly okay to go out of his way to assume some kind of racial superiority over us because he is European and Spanish? I am giving up other work to do this play - there are times that I want to quit and do other work, where I can work in peace in a place where nobody is going to mock me for being from my part of the world."

Once again, Calvo was taken aside and given a stern talking to because the matter was referred to the company and it was clear that Calvo had once again crossed the line with his latest racist jokes. But given just how few shows there were left, I don't think anyone wanted to see him sacked either - there was compassion shown again and a consensus that he was being ignorant rather than malicious, but one more racist joke or statement and it would not be tolerated. All this after the whole episode we went through with the Chinese racist joke. What can I say? Most people would learn their lesson but because Calvo has Asperger's Syndrome - he just doesn't know when he has crossed the line and you should have been there to see the way that central American actress was crying that day.

How should we resolve conflicts in the work place?

This is why I am so fed up with my reader Winking Doll (WD) - don't get me wrong, I like her, I like her blog very much, she is a great writer and I have a lot of respect for her. But she refuses to see the way Calvo goes around annoying people, to the extent where he caused this central American actress so much distress over the weeks that she cried, or when he caused another actress as much distress that she almost quit the show in week 5. That's two actresses Calvo has bullied to the point where they nearly quit the show - Calvo is annoying but it goes beyond that: he is a bully and whilst he would never get away with trying to pick on me (as he found out the hard way), the other two actresses he had picked on were softer targets who didn't know how to respond to his bullying behaviour. And WD - let me state for the record - I stood up and went out of my way to help both actresses because that was the way I was raised. I will not sit back and ignore a woman being bullied in my presence.

And when the same bully Calvo gets a taste of his own medicine, when karma catches up with him - guess what? I may not want to join in (I think I had achieved a truce with him), but I am more than happy to look the other way and see him suffer as he gets pranked. Maybe WD expects me to do the "right thing" by protecting Calvo from the bullying despite the fact that his behaviour is appalling, where do I begin? He nearly caused two actresses to quit because of his bullying tactics and if WD wants to quibble that he has the right to work in peace without being subjected to bullying, then I put it to you - he wouldn't be bullied by the others if he hadn't bullied those two actresses in the first place. And as for his rights, ha! Don't make me laugh WD, he knows all about those disciplinary procedures when he got hauled into the office for a disciplinary meeting after the Chinese racist joke incident when he was disciplined and officially warned not to make a racist joke about Chinese people, Chinese language or anything to do with Chinese culture. Gee, I guess he walked out of that meeting thinking, "I will make fun of her instead then. She is not Chinese." Duh.

WD, do you even have the faintest idea what the hell I am dealing with here? So get off your moral high horse please. For crying out aloud WD, you're not looking at the whole picture - if you are not interested in what I have done in this production for the last three months, then fine, don't read my blog posts. But don't pick up on one tiny detail, take it out of context and then get on your moral high horse and judge me - you clearly have no freaking idea what the hell the lot of us in the cast have had to deal with in the last 3 months in working with Calvo.

Are you blind to what is happening here? 

The rule with theatre when it comes to disciplinary procedures is this: you make a serious offence, you get let off once with a warning but the next time, you will be sacked. Calvo made his first serious offence in week 5 and got his warning then. He then made his second serious offence in week 7 and I was in a position to get him sacked then - but I showed mercy. Then the terrible anti Latin American racist jokes surfaced in week 9 and again, she was in a position to get him sacked but like me, she showed mercy and compassion. And we're just talking about the offences so serious the company had to deal with it in official channels, there are far smaller incidents that happen every day where we simply let him get away with - it is in that context that it built up to the point where certain members of the cast and crew disagreed with the actions of the company and felt that the Latina actress and myself should not have acted with such mercy and compassion, that we had missed two golden opportunities to get rid of Calvo. That was what precipitated in the pranks - it wasn't the way I would've dealt with the situation but that was what happened.

With this context in mind, I am more than happy to look the other way when he got pranked. Oh he got pranked a lot more this week - but out of respect for my colleagues who did those pranks, I am not going to write in my blog what they did to Calvo this week. Each time something happened, I looked the other way and acted as if I knew nothing, even though I knew exactly what was done to him. Yes Calvo suffered distress this week as a result of these pranks - but I merely looked at him and thought, "serves you right after you made that actress cry, what goes around comes around, karma is a bitch, ha!" What irks me is that WD thinks she is some kind of guardian angel for anyone who has ever been labelled stupid by others - but real life is messy. People who are labelled stupid could (like Calvo) be pretty nasty people who are bullies themselves. Certainly, being "not particularly smart" didn't stop him from bullying two actresses in the show until they nearly quit - the only thing was that his bullying tactics were blunt and not very sophisticated, that was why he got into trouble so easily and made so many enemies. Look at the context WD and when you do, I am interested to know how you feel about men who bully women in the workplace to the point where the women are in such distress they want to quit the job. How would you feel if you encountered such a man who might you such distress at your place of work WD?

Do you know how to stand up for yourself in the work place?

Okay, I am obviously fed up with WD - but I am now going to tell you a story that is not from this week. In fact, this happened way back in 1994 when I was serving national service back in Singapore. In my unit during my army days, we had a real mix of all kinds of guys in terms of our education levels - ranging from brilliant scholars to those who can't speak much English (aka termed Hokkien pengs, but really they were Mandarin rather than Hokkien speaking).

There was a new guy in my unit who was disliked by everyone - let's call him Xin as that's Mandarin for new. Xin came from a very good JC, had excellent A level results, was applying for many scholarships and top universities and is undoubtedly extremely intelligent. He was also from a very rich family and had this arrogance about him - he felt he was better, smarter than everyone else. As I didn't go out of my way to remind him - excuse me Xin, not only did I have even better results than you but I have already been awarded a scholarship already so take that - no, I kept my mouth shut so he assumed a certain superiority over me.

I learnt many vital lessons for life in NS.

So Xin was busy making enemies, offending people and he was also very selfish and unhelpful. In the army, living and working with your fellow soldiers meant you really had to help others. If your colleague has been burdened with a task and you are in a position to help, you really should help him if you can - and maybe next time you're in the same position, others will help you too. It's a golden rule - you do not get away with being selfish, you have to be there for each other. Xin thought otherwise, he didn't help others because he didn't think they deserved his help - he would rather look the other way and pretend that he didn't notice - and even when he was asked, "Could you help us out please here?" He would say, "Oh let me go to the toilet first - I'll be back." Then he would disappear to the toilet and have a 'stomach ache' on cue. I had gone out of my way to help Xin settle into the unit, show him how to do certain tasks and not once did he thank me or returned any favours. He just took it for granted - I could sense that he was a rich spoilt brat, mummy or the maid(s) probably did everything for him at home and he's just used to people helping him out like that as he never had to lift a finger at home. Do you know what happens to people like that in the army?

Xin suffered the same kind of cruel pranks as Calvo did - yes it may have been back in 1994 and half way around the world when I was half my current age, but guess what? I reacted in exactly the same way. Xin had offended me by assuming that he was smarter than me and was better than me when I actually had far better results and a scholarship. So what did I do when he got bullied like that by the others? I looked the other way - I didn't take part in the pranks but I pretended not to see the same way he had pretended not to see when I needed help, it was tit for tat. There was a part of me that said, "serves you right, you asked for this - you deserve what you get and I don't feel sorry for you."

Did Xin or Calvo ever ask why they were hated?

Hey WD, please allow me to remind you that Xin was from one of the top JCs in Singapore and yes, he had brilliant A level grades and yes he did get a scholarship and yes he did go to one of the top universities on scholarship in the UK eventually. He was anything but stupid - with all due respect, he was super smart. Yet Xin was still subjected to exactly the same kind of treatment by his colleagues as Calvo did - what does that tell you?

It means that Calvo wasn't targeted for his stupidity per se, but for his behaviour - like Xin, he refused to help the others in a work environment but was more than happy to take advantage of the kindness of others when they were in a position to help him. Whether you are a brilliant scholar like Xin or someone like Calvo, if you piss people off in a work environment then people will hate you, people will not be nice to you and you will make enemies. Some people will go out of their way to punish you (eg. with pranks) and when that happens, even people like me will be happy to look the other way and say, "serves him right". WD, you seem so incredibly hung up about the label 'stupid' but I hope the story of Xin will remind you that there is more than one factor at play here and you are making the mistake of focussing on one factor and ignoring the others. What do you make of someone like Xin then? Would you feel sorry for him and help him out if he was bullied in your workplace?

How would you deal with a colleague like Xin or Calvo?

What is the moral of the story? What can we learn from the stories of Xin and Calvo? I think it is this: be nice to the people to work with. Don't be an asshole at work, don't bully others, don't annoy others, don't say things that will offend and hurt others at work - instead, be respectful of your colleagues, be polite with your colleagues, be kind and understanding with your colleagues. That way, you will make friends and earn their trust so they will be there for you when you need help. It is far easier to be very nice to your colleagues than to behave like a bull in a china shop like Xin and Calvo, making many enemies at work, only to then one day realize, "oh shit everyone hates me, everyone is trying to bully me, help me!" And that would be my cue to ask, "and you wonder why?" In short, you reap what you sow. Xin and Calvo were reaping what they had sown - that's life. The same way that lovely Latina actress reaped what she had sown when all the members of the cast rallied around her, stood up for her, protected her and helped her out when she was in trouble. It is two sides of the same coin.

Okay, let me share with you just one other story which did not involve Calvo (or Ziege) this week. Given that it is the last week, all the pent up anger and frustration is coming out. There had been two people in a scene I am in who have been arguing for weeks over many things but I thought, okay that's between them and it's private, I am not getting involved. For this story, let's call them John and Jane okay? However, in the scene they are in, they have an argument which should really be no more than Jane and John shouting at each other angrily before Jane storms out of the room. We have been doing this for weeks without incident but on that fateful night, Jane not only spat in John's face but slapped him really hard. That's right, in front of the audience. John kept his cool but raised a formal complaint.

You're not supposed to hit your fellow actors during the show!

It was dealt with by the company, Jane apologized profusely - she used the excuse that she was such a passionate actress that she got totally carried away in the scene and that it was but a spontaneous gesture that was clearly inappropriate. I didn't buy that excuse, neither did John but John decided that we were so close to the end of the show that it wasn't worth his while pursuing this and Jane did apologize - she also promised that she would never do anything like that again. Again, this is the kind of thing that could get Jane sacked but like myself and the Latina actress, John showed mercy. Could they work together until the end of the show? Yes. Will those two ever be friends? Never.

And I can't resist adding this little detail - a group of us gathered round John, offering him emotional support after the incident. Everyone was there and then Calvo walked into the room, overheard what we were talking about (Calvo saw everything too), then he said, "Oh that's just acting for you, if any of you want to spit in my face or punch and slap me whilst we are acting on stage feel free to do so! Let's make it feel real!" I thought, "you'll regret saying that, I know a lot of people in this room who would be happy to do that to you on or off stage." Instead, I just said, "There's something called Stage Combat - that's when you fake the fighting for the audience. You don't actually hit your fellow actors and injure them, but you make it look real as real as possible. There are courses you can take for Stage Combat."

But hey, it's been a tough week for me in a different way. I came down with the flu on Sunday and thought I may need to miss a show on Monday as I was still having a fever on Monday afternoon. The cast and crew were so nice to me making sure that I was okay and able to carry on despite being sick. There were moments as well which are memorable and made me laugh - such as when John's trousers ripped midway through the scene. That's right, it split right down the seam - he was bending down to pick something up when it happened and he had to finish the scene with half his leg hanging out. The rest of us who witnessed it had to fight so incredibly hard to stop laughing when it happened - I would never forget it.

I am up for a big part for a project in America at the moment - I turned to a fellow actor in my play to help me prepare for the audition and we spend a whole afternoon preparing. Yes that is the kind of friendship I have cultivated - friends who want to see me succeed, friends who are happy to help me out like that. I know I talk about Calvo a lot in my blog, but the majority of the people in my play are extremely nice and have been a joy to work with.

There were actually plenty of good times in the last 3 months.

So what's next? Well, I will be taking a holiday very soon - I think I have well and truly earned myself a break. If I get the part in the American project, then I will be spending a couple of months this year in America - but I hate to count my chickens before they hatch. As for the others, a number of them have other acting work lined up - one guy has actually started rehearsals on another play this week, before we have even finished this one. Then there are those who are staring at unemployment - John has a part time job working as a shop assistant in a department store in central London, he will be going back to doing that. An usher gave me a flyer for a play he is involved in - he is involved in it on a profit-share basis. That means all the revenue will go to covering costs and if there is any profit left over, it will then be shared out amongst the cast. That usually means working for nothing or very little money. Others said that they will be studying some more, taking more acting courses.

I shall leave you with this. During the production, I had a routine whereby I would force myself to stop work by 5 pm just so I can have a cup of coffee, get changed and get ready to go to the theatre. In order to relax myself, I would listen to some music and usually there was only time for like one or two songs at most. Here was the song that I listened to a lot in March - Bunny Style by T-ara. Yes T-ara are Korean but they are singing in Japanese here. Now when I listen to it, it would always be the song I would associate with this play.