What were the most useful skills I have learnt?

I've blogged a lot about education and soft skills - it has been a pet topic of mine because I was brought up by parents who were teachers and believed so strongly that everything I learnt in school would be directly to my working life when quite the opposite has happened. I found that a lot of I had learnt is totally useless, outdated or just plain irrelevant to what I do today - I don't know why I even bothered with a degree in the first place. I actually came across it for the first time in many years when I moved house earlier this year after I nearly chucked it into a pile of paper that was meant to be recycled. I suppose the problem was at that I didn't quite know what I wanted to do with my life as a student, so it was hard to get a degree that was useful to my career when I had no freaking clue what my career would be in ten or twenty years. In today's post, I will list some of my strongest skills and analyse where I had picked up those skills.

Maths was probably the most useless thing I had ever studied. Bah!

Skill 1: The power of mimicry 

I have two parallel careers: I sell complex financial products to other banking professionals (note this is B2B, never to the public) whilst acting as well - somehow managing to balance the two. Now the two careers may seem worlds apart and few people attempt both simultaneously, but I ultimately use the same skill in both jobs: the art of mimicry. As an actor, I study a script and learn about the character - say, I am playing the part of a Japanese soldier in WW2, I use the power of mimicry to copy exactly what a Japanese soldier in WW2 would do in order to portray that character convincing.  I learn how to change my accent, maybe learn a different language, I study every detail down to body language and the use of props; so when I step on that stage or in front of the camera, you no longer see me but you actually believe that I am a Japanese soldier in WW2. Likewise, for sales, it is a fairly shameless process: I study the target client very carefully, get as much information as possible and I try to figure out, what kind of person is s/he likely to buy from? So if I am dealing with a posh, upper class, very privileged snob who will only deal with someone who is of a similarly privileged background. I make sure I copy his accent, his body language, I make sure I dress just like him and make small talk on his wavelength just to win his trust before even trying to talk about the product. If I am dealing with someone who is very obsessed with the technical details of the product, I will present myself as the East Asian maths expert super-geek who shares his passion for technical details. In short, I read people the same way I study a script - it's never about me, stuff that, the first important rule about sales is that you leave your ego at the door and you are the client's bitch: you be whomever they want you to be in order to make that sale.

Is this skill rare or unusual? 

Certainly anyone can try to do this, but few do it very well. Some actors rely on their good looks but since I don't have any good looks to speak of, I have to rely on my skills of mimicry and act. I don't think it is that rare, but rather most people don't feel like they need to tap into this skill at all. I'm afraid we live in a world where many people have such egos, where they feel, "this is whom I am and if you don't like what you see, then screw you." As an actor, I am paid to be whoever the director wants me to be and as a salesman, my job is to do whatever it takes to convince the other person to buy. Now, I believe that some people have that skills but never ever use it - whilst others simply don't have that ability/talent at all. I can think of someone I know in Singapore: whether she is at the hawker center ordering some Indian food or meeting the Queen, she will take in exactly the same manner because that's the only way she knows how to talk. So even if she wants to sound posh when she meets the Queen, she can't as she doesn't know how to.

Can you mimic the people around you?

Where did I pick up this skill? 

Good question. I suppose it is one of those things that I was born with. I did do some acting classes when I studied TSD at VJC all those years ago, but I found that those who were naturally talented at acting excelled at TSD whilst those who lacked that natural talent simply could not be taught what they lacked no matter how hard the teachers tried. What did help immensely is the fact that my two older sisters provided a very vibrant play environment when I was a young child growing up - we were not that rich and didn't have expensive toys. Instead, we used our imaginations and used various household items to create our own fantasy worlds, where we would play different characters and thus from a young age, my wonderful two older sisters did far more for me than any of my teachers in school ever did by providing such a creative, nurturing environment for me.. Primary school was incredibly boring compared to play time with my sisters. Ironically, whilst both of them have very successful careers today, neither of them contemplated pursuing any kind of acting and the thought of working in sales horrifies them.

Skill 2: My analytical skills 

I pride myself in my analytical skills - I am able to look at a situation, analyze what I see before me and come up with a strategy for success. Now that sounds really straightforward but you'll be amazed how many people lack this basic skill. The problem with the education system is that students are conditioned to find "the right answer" - this doesn't really prepare them for the real world, where there simply isn't a right or perfect answer. Most of the time, we are faced with a complex situation and we have to start making strategic decisions on how to make the best use of our limited resources to get the best possible results. Now this isn't simply a question of doing some calculations, but rather it involves making judgement calls based on being a good judge of human character. So if you have to manage a team at the office, what task do you assign to whom, based on their temperaments, abilities and characters? The problem with real life situations is that the variables are never predictable or straightforward - what if you are dealing with illogical, unreasonable or irrational people? Or simply trying to clean up someone else's messy mistakes?

How good are you at figuring out a complex situation?

Is this skill rare or unusual?

Actually, no, it is not even if it is important. I suppose this is the kind of skill that any good project manager will have. Despite it being so important, this is simply something that is not taught at school. It is very hard to test and grade something like that, where you make the best of a bad situation. Rather, the exam system is geared towards students arriving at the 'right answer' or even the 'model answer'. However, this could depend on what you study at university: are you doing something which stresses creativity (such as art & design) or following the formulas and rules (such as mathematics and physics)? That is why this is not going to be a skill you pick up in a classroom.

Where did I pick up this skill?

I also benefited a lot from my experience in sports - I tried a range of different sports whilst at school whilst focusing mainly on gymnastics. In every sport, there are rules and if you want to do well in the sport, you have to understand the rules, follow the rules and exploit loopholes where possible. It would be fairly pointless training a sport for hours every week if you do not even spend enough time to understand the fundamental rules of how a win is awarded in a fight or how a competition routine is judged. Also, your game plan may have to change depending on the kind of opponent you are facing: you need to think on your feet and improvise if necessary. As a gymnast, I practically memorized the code of points - which is the rule book used for judging gymnastics. Thus when I stepped into the business world of selling financial products, I was more than happy to understand the system and follow the rules. Does this sound like common sense? Perhaps it does but you'll be amazed how many people lack common sense.

Skill 3: My English language skills

I have talked a lot about my ability to speak ten languages but I rarely mention my English language skills which I almost take for granted. The kind of English language skills I use today is vastly different from what was required of me as a student - if not for the fact that I enjoy blogging, I hardly ever do any writing for work and when I do, it is often for some marketing document that is far more technical than creative. No, the most useful aspect of my language skills is the art of being eloquent and articulate, being creative and good at conversation. Now the English teachers at school can only do so much for you - they can teach you the rules of grammar, they cannot teach you how to be witty. They can teach you how to structure an essay, they cannot teach you how to be persuasive enough to win an argument. They can teach you how to spell words correctly, but they cannot teach you how to create a joke. In short, the teachers can help you become technically excellent when it comes to reading and writing, but how you use your language skills to great effect - now that's up to you. Again, that is the sort of thing which is never taught in a classroom.

Is this skill rare or unusual? 

Well, all you have to do is to watch TV and see some comedians do what they do  - my favourite comedians include Jon Stewart, John Oliver, Stephen Colbert, Hugh Dennis, Russell Howard, Stephen Fry, Ian Hislop, Dara O'Briain and Marcus Brigstocke. Oh I could list a lot more but these are the people who know how to use the English language as their weapon and leave an audience transfixed, fascinated, rolling on the floor with laughter and thoroughly entertained. Loads of people enjoy comedy, but watching comedy doesn't turn you into a comedian. No school in the world can teach you how to do that - that's a special talent the best comedians in the world are born with.

Where did I pick up this skill?

Again, I really don't know. You could attribute it to the way I played with my sisters when I was a child, that they gave me a really fun, creative environment to play in and encouraged me to express myself. I can think of families where the only child didn't have that kind of environment and would have spent hours being quite passive, watching TV or playing computer games. By that token, it was indeed a blessing that I grew up in a big family.

Skill 4: Listening and responding accordingly

Perhaps I am pointing out the obvious, but I am an good listener. People like talking to me because I always make an effort to listen to what they are saying and respond accordingly. Having at least two members of my family with autism/Asperger's syndrome has made me acutely aware of this: let me give you a simple example. I was Skyping my family yesterday when I mentioned that it was a beautiful day, it was 20 degrees and sunny. My sister (who doesn't have Asperger's Syndrome) asked if I was going to go cycling or for a walk, to enjoy the good weather - my mother (whom I think definitely has Asperger's Syndrome) reacted by saying, "20 degrees may be warm for you but it is very cold for me." She's not deliberately being rude or nasty - it's just that she is totally incapable of seeing things from another person's point of view and thus rarely ever takes an interest in others. As a salesman, I have to get my clients to like me and thus I show a lot of interest in them, it is the easiest trick in the book and it isn't rocket science.

How many of you are good listeners?

So for example, if you were to tell me that you were going to America on holiday, I would respond by asking you more questions like, which part of America are you going to visit? How long are you going to be there? What kind of activities are you going to do whilst in America? Have you already booked your accommodation and if so, where will you be staying? Is this your first visit to Austria? Whom are you traveling with? Do you know anyone in Ameica? That would be the kind of response which will send out the signal, "I am most interested in you, please tell me more about yourself, I want to know, I am listening. The wrong response would be for me to start telling you about my previous trips to America - oh no, that's the kinda respond that my mother would come up with.

Is this skill rare or unusual? 

I don't think so - though it is very clear which people have this skill and which people don't. Those people around you who have loads of friends, those people who are very popular at school or in the workplace, they are usually those who have those skills as everyone would naturally want to talk to them. Conversely, those who lack this basic skill will find it hard to make friends because nobody likes a person who's self-centered. Good grief, at the gym yesterday, my friend Karen asked this guy (let's call him Michael, not his real name) a question and Michael ended up telling Karen his life story. She was just being polite and friendly, but she looked utterly bored and had this, "get me outta here, I really don't wanna talk to this creep anymore!" look on her face after about ten minutes. I found that whole situation hilarious as I know Karen well - she's too polite to just tell Michael to shut up or run away. But Michael was totally oblivious to the fact that Karen was totally bored and disinterested in listening to his life story - a classic case of Asperger's syndrome. This Michael isn't a stupid person per se, he just totally sucks when it comes to people skills.

This may seem like a straightforward skill but how many people lack it?

Where did I pick up this skill?

Well, from a young age, I was able to see the difference in the way my sisters treated me and the way my mother treated me. My sisters showed me how to treat people to get the best out to them and well, my mother showed me exactly what not to do. My family can prove to be a double-edged sword you know.

Skill 5: Making strategic friends and alliances

Again, perhaps this sounds like common sense but so many people are arrogant enough to believe that they can rely on their skills, talents and abilities to get through life when really, experience has taught me that you can get so much further, so much faster when there are people there to help you along the way. The challenge however, is to identify who would be potentially an ally who would be glad to help you - you see, I categorize people into three categories: those who will help you because they believe that if they do so, you will help them in return one day and it's all good karma. And then there are those who will refuse to help you because they view you as competition. Then there are those who are irrelevant because even if they want to help you, they are simply not in a position to do so. I have been quite good at identifying people who can potentially help me and holding on to them in my life.

Is this skill rare or unusual? 

I don't think it is that rare or unusual - some people are a lot better at this than others of course, but those who lack it often fall prey to their ego. They imagine that somehow, society or the system or the business world will reward them for their hard work and it doesn't work like that - there is an inherent unfairness to the whole system. Some people sulk and throw a big tantrum when they realize life is so unfair, others like me find a way to help ourselves get ahead.

Can you identify possible allies in a crowd?

Where did I pick up this skill? 

Through sheer necessity! I have seen people who parents are well connected get ahead in life because good opportunities were simply handed to them on a silver platter whilst I had to find my own opportunities through networking with people who are far more successful than me. I could either admit defeat or do what others in my position have done - network with far more successful people and ask for help. 

So that's it from me on this issue - I guess the question I would like to follow up on is this: if you learnt virtually none of these skills at school or university, then what is the point of going to university then? I've done some posts in the past about a degree being less and less relevant and useful to prove yourself to potential employers but perhaps it is a good time to write another piece on this issue. Please feel free to leave a comment below. Many thanks for reading.