How to disagree with someone on social media

It seems ironic that an older man like me has to teach younger Singaporeans about social media - I didn't grow up with the internet, you guys did! I remember getting my first Pacific Internet email account, with my first modem in the mid 1990s - a long time ago. Before that, yeah we actually talked to each other and had arguments in person, rather than online. In my last post, I talked about people who wanted me to 'shut up' and 'go away' and I was just slightly bemused at their reasoning behind that - they felt that because I have left Singapore, given up my pink IC, that I no longer have the right to talk about Singaporean issues on my blog. Perhaps it is not a question of having the technology available as it just illustrates the huge gap in the Singaporean education system: analytical and reasoning skills. Oh dear. Aiyoh.

How to get the most out of social media by Limpeh

This vitally important skill conveniently falls between the gap of two subjects: maths and English. Even students who excel in both subjects may not be able to do well in this aspect - you see, you can write in grammatically perfect English, with no spelling errors and read an article in a newspaper with perfect diction and pronunciation, but can you win a debate which requires the power of persuasion? Likewise, you can solve the most complex equations in a maths exam, but can you analyze your opponents arguments and identify the loopholes in his logic in order to formulate a cogent counterargument on the spot? So on paper, I am sure these Singaporean students may look absolutely brilliant with their straight As, but on social media, they can actually come across as quite inarticulate, unable to come up with an argument more sophisticated or persuasive than "shut up" and "go away". Why is this so? It boils down to the total lack of soft skills amongst many younger Singaporeans - because this simply isn't taught in school and hence there are so many younger Singaporeans who have no idea how to disagree with others on social media.  So what can you do when someone says something on social media that you disagree with? Here are a range of options for you.

1. Confront and challenge the person and tell them why you disagree (respectfully, please). 

Now, this is on the basis that the other person is willing to listen - and why not? When people disagree with me on my blog, I'm willing and happy to listen to them as long as they approach me in a reasonable manner and explain clearly why they hold a different point of view. This can lead to a very interesting discussion and that is probably one of the more interesting aspects of social media - after all, you can learn a lot from interacting with people like that. Such people hold different points of views because they have had a different upbringing or type of education, or have lived in a different country, speak another language, have experienced a different culture or religion and that has shaped perspective on the issue at hand. They may also enjoy hearing what you have to say, given that you may shed new light on the issue for them and you may both a lot from each other by interacting with other like that. As long as both parties are willing to treat each other respectfully even if they may disagree on the issue, this could be a very productive and interesting learning experience for both parties. Just because you disagree with another person on an issue doesn't mean you can't be friends or at least have a chat about it, even if you do eventually agree to disagree.

Why not just approach the person directly?

2. Ignore the person - go do something else instead. 

The first approach would only work if the person you disagreed with was prepared to be reasonable and respond in a mature manner. Now not everyone is reasonable or mature - some people are downright unreasonable and childish, heck I would even gladly call them stupid. The worst kind of stupid people are the ones who are totally oblivious to their own stupidity - they don't realize how stupid they are and imagine they are actually quite smart. Oh dear. I am thinking about some of the people who were putting forth ridiculous arguments for Brexit as well as some of Trump's supporters. In this case, any attempt to engage the person would be fruitless - you're wasting your time, you have nothing to gain from engaging a stupid person. You can't go round the world trying to cure one stupid person at a time and there are just too many stupid people in the world. At times like this, you're better off simply choosing to go somewhere else and picking a far more productive activity that will make you a lot happier. Life is too short lah.

3. Present a convincing counterargument, so there is an alternative POV online.

What if you disagree with someone but you would rather not engage them directly? There is an alternative - simply write a counterargument on your own blog (or whatever social media medium you prefer) so that an alternative point of view in out there, in cyberspace thus balancing the argument. You are indeed having your say on the issue whilst shying away from direct confrontation - readers on the internet may well read the two quite different perspectives on the issue and may draw their own conclusion on the issue. I actually do that quite a lot on my blog: take this for example, there was an article in the ST about younger taxi drivers in Singapore. I thought that was a rubbish article, so I posted my own perspective on the issue on my blog. I didn't confront the ST journalist who wrote the article (I wasn't looking for a fight - but even if I 'scolded' the journalist, what would that achieve), I was simply happy enough to have my say on the issue on my terms, on my blog. I even encouraged my readers to read the original article and compare the two different perspectives on the issue, so they can draw their own conclusions. Thankfully the post was widely shared and read by thousands, so I felt quite happy having introduced my point of view into the discussion online.

Sometimes all we want is to present an alternative POV.

4. Take a moment to consider the other person's POV.

Now there are times when you feel you don't want to engage the other person and you don't want to respond in any way - that's fine, but have you considered taking a moment to consider the other person's point of view and trying to find out why they feel the way they do?  Indeed, I was pretty much forced to do that when the UK voted for Brexit - I suppose in my central London bubble, I was pretty much isolated from what life was like in the rest of the country, where incomes are a lot lower and many are struggling to make ends meet. The Brexit vote forced me to face a lot of issues which would be only too easy to ignore. Finding out more about why the country voted for Brexit (well, 52% who voted did) didn't change my point of view on the issue, but it gave me a deeper understanding about issues facing other sections of British society (namely the working class) that I don't usually associate with. This new information didn't fundamentally change my opinion on any of the issues - but I treated it as an opportunity to learn something new and will use this information to my advantage in the future. After all, regardless of how I feel about the issue, I will still have to deal with people who voted for Brexit - understanding their motivations will make it easier for me to manipulate them and deal with them. I wasn't happy with the situation but I was determined to learn something useful.

5. Use comedy to have your say on the issue. 

This is actually a brilliant option, one that takes time and possibly money but it is so worth it. People may not always want to sit down and spend five, ten minutes reading a serious counterargument but they will certainly have a few minutes to watch a funny Youtube video, knowing that they will be entertained in the process. The more entertaining you are, the more people you are going to reach with your message. Even those who may not agree with you may end up watching your video just because you're so funny and you stand a far greater chance of changing their minds on the issue. Ultimately, if you really want to have your say on the issue whilst trying hard to get your voice heard in a very crowded social media space, then you have to do something awesome to stand out from the crowd. As I said in before, stay the hell away from those stupid forums like HWZ EDMW, you will never get your voice heard there, it is a complete waste of time. There is a direct correlation between the amount of effort you put into social media and the amount of people you reach. Instead, why not make a Youtube video and talk about the issue, then share it on social media. If your video is funny, you're far more likely to get your voice heard. If you have something important to say, then make an effort. Here are a few Singaporean comedy videos which have done exactly that (and one from me):

So there you go, that's it from me on this issue. What about you, how do you respond when you want to disagree with someone on social media? What have your experiences been - what has worked well for you and what did you find a complete waste of time? Let me know what you think, do leave me a comment below. Many thanks for reading.