As I have explained in my previous piece, whether or not Khaw's wardrobe is inadequate depends entirely on the context of his social life. If what he wears pleases the people around him, if nobody is offended by what he wears - then there clearly isn't a problem. But imagine if say he was invited to a funeral service for a very important person and the mourners were expected to turn up dressed in a certain respectable manner befitting the occasion, then being a gentleman would mean dressing to fit in (and if you don't have the right clothes, either buy something or borrow something). At the end of the day, being a gentleman is about that willingness to always put the needs of others before your own. It's never about how fashionable you are or if you have bought all the trendiest suits from this season's collection. (Incidentally, I really hate some of the Spring-Summer 2015 slim-fit short-cut suit styles, but I digress.)
Is your wardrobe adequate to be a gentleman? |
Khaw wrote: There is also this article by a self-proclaimed Brit...
Khaw was referring to this article by yours truly but I wish to take issue with his choice of words. I am British. It's quite simple. I have one passport, it is a British passport. I am a citizen of the United Kingdom. There is really no dispute about whether or not I am British or not. It is a simple fact: either I am a British citizen or I am not and that merely boils down to whether or not I have a British passport: which I do. Now you could perhaps use those words 'self-proclaimed' to cast doubt over the status of someone - for example, for these six guys who claim that they are gentlemen. If you doubt that they are really gentlemen, you can use the term 'self-proclaimed gentlemen' to express your cynicism to question whether or not they should be considered gentlemen. That gives the impression of, "hey those guys may consider themselves to be gentlemen but I am not sure I agree with that, but they are free to claim whatever they want, just don't expect the rest of us to agree with that label they have chosen."
But in my case, there are not ifs or buts about my nationality: I only have one passport and that's my British passport (I gave up my Singaporean passport years ago). Incidentally, you can't self-proclaim to be a citizen of another country if you simply are not a citizen of that country. So by that token, I cannot self-proclaim to be a Singaporean because I do not have Singaporean nationality anymore - it is that simple. In this case, I actually don't think that Khaw was actually questioning my nationality - I suspect it is more a question of semantics; that he was trying to use a phrase he didn't understand properly. Now if you want to argue that I am a self-proclaimed men's fashion expert - then that's fair enough. But as for my nationality, Mr Khaw I'm more than happy to meet you in Singapore and present you with my lovely British passport (and settle the issue of my nationality) - that might teach you a thing or two about semantics.
Here's my passport Selfie for you Mr Khaw. |
Khaw wrote: ...claims the notion of a gentleman is a British construct of class-markers and these people fall short of it especially in authenticity.
Well, like I explained in both my fist post and my second post: this is simply a question of semantics. Words do not simply pop out of thin air and magically appear in the dictionary: the meaning of words evolve over centuries as the language itself evolve, reflecting the societies who use the word. The word 'gentleman' has been in use since the 11th century, so the concept of what it means to be a gentleman is one that has been constructed over the last thousand years. It is certainly nothing new. So if you are dealing with a concept that has been in use for over a thousand years, you cannot just ignore the fact that you are using an English concept whose meaning has evolved over the centuries. In my last post, I had used the example of two other words: 'model' (as in Naomi Campbell, Kate Moss, Tyra Banks, Gisele Bunchen etc) and 'laksa' to show you why it is so important to pay heed to the meaning of words we use.
Khaw wrote: He also amusingly claims that some of their outfits are “garishly mismatched” and “weird”.
Please. calling their outfits weird is already very much an understatement! Their outfits are garishly mismatched - it is their waistcoats in particular that I take issue with. If your waistcoat is made of a different material from your suit, then it is clear that the waistcoat doesn't match your suit. Now that is a risky choice to make in terms of putting together a formal ensemble - perhaps if you are trying to make some kind of fashion statement in terms of breaking conventional rules, if you were trying to be a fashion rebel, then fair enough, please go ahead; in fact why not go all the way and do the Lady Gaga thing and wear a dress made of meat. But were these garishly mismatched waistcoats meant to be an outrageous fashion statement? Judging by the photos, no - they were not a fashion statement but rather an attempt to look elegant and it seems they are oblivious to the effect it had on the impression they were giving the viewer.
Khaw wrote: Nonetheless, they stand undeterred and in (attempted? Good attempt, say I) gentleman fashion, replied that they “would like to extend an invitation to those people [their critics] to hang out with us and they can decide after that”.
Well, Khaw is entitled to his opinion of course and by the same token, I am entitled to disagree with him. My opinion is that these guys are pretty clueless in their attempts at gentlemanly fashion and they come across as egotistic fashionistas rather than true gentlemen who understand fashion. There's nothing wrong with being an egotistic fashionista if that's what you are - by all means make a fashion statement, but that's not the same as being a gentleman when it comes to your fashion. Like I said before, it's a question of semantics, let's choose the right word to describe these guys. As for the invitation to change my opinion, well I've already passed judgement on their fashion sense and have judged how 'classy' they are based on their Razor TV video; would spending an hour or two in their company change my mind? I doubt it somehow but hey, I am going to be in Singapore this summer (August 2015)!
Do you have class? Are you a gentleman? Let me be the judge. |
Khaw wrote: I postulate that there is a commercial angle to this. They want to be ‘influencers’ in the mould of Xiaxue, providing a male alternative in this influential industry dominated by females.
This was something I had raised in my first article as well - however, if you were a business, you would be very cagey about choosing these guys to endorse any kind of product at this stage simply because the majority of the comments on social media about them are still negative. Until they have a big enough following and receive far more favourable reactions on social media, then it strongly reduces their commercial appeal at this stage. Are they onto something? Possibly, but a lot more work needs to be done from a sales & marketing point of view before they can be as successful as Xiaxue when it comes to being an influencer. This is marketing 101 - if you receive a negative reaction, you need to change your image and approach instead of getting all defensive about the situation. It all boils down to profit vs loss at the end of the day. Will being associated with these guys bring a profit or a loss to your business?
Will you want your brand name to be associated with these guys? |
Khaw wrote: Whether or not they are gentleman of the authentic mould does not matter, as long as there are people who aspired to look and dress like them.
Once again, I don't quite agree with that for a simple reason: I simply don't believe anyone is going to look at these guys and think, "wow these guys are so amazing, from now on, I am going dress like them from now on!" Either you already take a keen interest in fashion the way I do and already have an impressive wardrobe, or you just don't give two hoots about fashion. Stumbling across these guys on social media isn't going to change your mind either way. Indeed, all of you would have already had feelings about fashion before these guys came along last week - you would have already been buying clothes for years and have clearly defined tastes about what you like and don't like when it comes to fashion. To be able to influence others in terms of altering their fashion choices takes a lot more than that.
What inspires you to alter your fashion sense? |
Khaw wrote: Some people might take to heart the higher calling of the (supposed) virtues of gentlemanliness rather than wallow in superficial dress.
Again, I'm afraid I have to disagree and for good reason too. Is anyone going to suddenly awaken to the virtues of gentlemanly behaviour just because of these guys on social media? Hell no. I'm 39 this year, I've been around long enough to have had the pleasure of meeting some really nice people and the displeasure of having to deal with some nasty assholes along the way. Some of us learnt good manners from our parents - we were taught to be polite from an early age whilst others learnt through experience that you usually can get the best out of those around you by being polite with them (as opposed to being rude, demanding or impatient) with them. Either way, whether we have good manners or not depends a lot on the experiences we have had over a lifetime (your family, your education, your work environment, your social circles, your spouse etc) and these experiences shape the kind of people we have become. Thus hoping that such a social media campaign can have an impact on an individual's behaviour is naive at best.
Are you nice to people or rude with them? |
Khaw wrote: Just because a group of people claim that gentlemanliness includes certain aspects that you disagree with, does not mean that the concept of gentlemanliness is irrevocably altered.
No, it is again a question of semantics. So if I may, I would like to refer you to the example I gave you previously with another word, 'model'. Allow me to quote myself from the previous post on this: if you were told Katie is a model, then would assume that Katie is able to get paid work as a model, be it either posing in ads for print, strutting down the catwalk or acting in various advertising campaigns for TV/cinema/internet. What if you then found out that Katie is actually quite overweight and decidedly unattractive, she has never ever been paid to pose for a photo, that her pictures have never ever appeared in a print ad before and she has never ever set foot on a catwalk before - that all Katie has ever done was posted her selfies onto Instagram? Surely there is some element of deception here (or at least exaggeration) in claiming that Katie is a model: perhaps Katie would like to be one and dreams of becoming a working model one day, but it would be dishonest to describe her as one as she does not fit the criteria of a model.
There you go, that's my response to Mr Khaw's article - was I gentle with Nicholas Khaw? Clearly not. But then again, I was not gentle with these six guys from the Gentleman's Pride either - such is the nature of social media I'm afraid. If you are brave enough to put yourself out there on social media, well, then be prepared to be judged by those who come across your piece. If you're not happy with that, then it's probably wiser to keep your opinions to yourself and not broadcast it on the internet. Let me know what you think, please leave a comment below - many thanks for reading!
I think you were gentle enough. I've seen you really go off.
ReplyDeleteLagi ada follow up: http://limpehft.blogspot.co.uk/2015/07/limpehs-school-of-blogging-respecting.html
DeleteThe style most heavily influencing the looks of some of the guys in PrideSG would be the rockabilly style popular in the US of A in the 50s to 60s. At least based on their undercuts and pompadours this is what i conclude. http://www.fashionbeans.com/2014/mens-aw14-fashion-trend-rockabilly-style/
ReplyDeleteIs this the "Gentleman" style? I doubt so since that word has always had a British origin and connections. They would look right at home in a Mad Men sort of world but at some high society British social event they would just look very weird.