My friend Leila is currently on holiday in Jordan and is having a fantastic time (apart from the weather, she informs me that it is frighteningly hot). She has been visiting Petra today and had just uploaded some amazing photos onto Facebook. One of her friends left a comment, "OMG, Jordan? Is it safe there? Is there a war going on or something?" And I'm like, duh. As if Leila is going to book a holiday in a war zone, get there and realize, oh shit you mean there is a war going on right now? How the hell am I going to go sightseeing or visit the beach then? Of course there is no war going on in Jordan right now - her friend could have easily checked that the conflicts in the Middle East right now are in Israel-Palestine, Syria and Iraq; but no, that dumbass idiot just made a fool of herself by asking a stupid question.
Likewise, when I told my parents that I am going to Tunisia in Africa, their first reaction was, "Eh Africa 有 Eloba leh, safe or not to go hah?" Duh. Like I am going to book a holiday somewhere like Liberia, Sierra Leone or Guinea, right in the middle of an Ebola outbreak, get there and realize, oh shit you mean there is an Ebola outbreak going on right now? How the hell am I going to go sightseeing or visit the beach then? For crying out aloud. Duh. Of course there is no Ebola outbreak in Tunisia right now - it is confined to a very small number of countries in West Africa, it is not an epidemic that has spread throughout every single country in Africa. Tunisia is certainly not affected by Ebola.
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| Please don't ask me any bloody stupid questions. |
I'm wonder if people who ask stupid questions like genuinely think that extremely well traveled people like Leila and myself would be bloody stupid enough to spend all that money booking a holiday to go to somewhere like a war zone or a country in the grip of an Ebola outbreak, only to perish there? Like just how bloody stupid do you think we are? Maybe other stupid people may do something as dumb as that, but Leila and I are extremely well traveled and intelligent people. You may say, "oh Leila's friend was probably expressing concern for her safety" or "your parents are probably concerned about your safety" (quite ironic, cos I am trying to protect my mother from her own stupidity) but this begs the question, would Leila or myself be foolish and reckless enough to place ourselves in extreme danger in the first place? Clearly not. Duh. So why are you asking that question in the first place? Like seriously.
Or maybe I am just too wound up and intolerant of bloody stupid people who ask such dumbass questions...
Ok, in my case, when I asked a stupid question, I immediately knew it when I hit send. I couldn't edit on blog. Of course, you weren't talking about me, though.
ReplyDeleteKeep calm and drink a glass of wine. Or two.
No lah, I wasn't thinking about you - I was thinking more about that comment on Leila's Facebook update and my parents' reaction to me going to Africa this coming week. You asked a silly question which was harmless - but when people ask Leila and I such questions, the implication is that they did think that we would be dumb enough to put ourselves in harm's way by flying into either a way torn zone or a country in the grip of an Ebola epidemic. That's what irked me about my parents' questions - they weren't just questioning what countries in Africa are currently affected by Ebola, they were questioning how sensible I was.
DeleteIt's about misconceptions of the world, Alex. These people blurt out their concerns/comments because they do not take the time to process the fact that you have done your research. Their first instinct is to voice their concerns or what they have heard. When I first came here, my sister said I have to be careful of cults. Another guy said he and his son saw a homeless guy in the States eating out of a trash can; hence, he did not want to migrant to the US. Well, I have not come across a cult member even though I know they exist, and as far as I know, most immigrants with education and/or investment money live very comfortably in more than decent homes and lead comfortable lives. Oh, another person said, "Why would I want to live overseas as a second class citizen?" Again, I, personally, do not feel like a second class citizen. Bottom line. many people think the world out there is a very scary place --- terrorists, ebola, cults, homelessness, people walking around with guns pointing at others, ... You and I know we do our research, but the others, that thought has not cross their minds. They jumped right to what they have heard. Relax, lah. Just keep planning for your trip to Tunisia. Take pictures of some love rats with their fat girlfriends if you can. Hahaha!
ReplyDeleteYou know, you're totally right. Spot on. Thanks again my friend. And yes I will keep an eye for those Tunisian love rats :)
DeleteHi LIFT, I am afraid you just got to accept that there are people sometimes will blurt things out without any processing via the cerebral cortex. Even the well educated. They know little about the topic, it frightens them and if it involves a love one, they immediately worry that something bad will happen. The intent is probably good, just misplaced. Cut them some slack if they meant well. E.g. mum asking if it will be safe for me to get to Taipei as some crazy chap slashed people at Banciao station. Yeah, it was irrational and silly but guess she was behaving like overly concerned motherhen.
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand, pure stupidity will show itself up by provoking a disgusted reaction, e.g. a relative suffered from end stage kidney failure, his wife kept complaining to me why the doctor never considered surgery to remove the failed kidneys to cure the problem; busybody neighbour complaining that it is "wrong" that another Malay neighbour is keeping a dog and walking the Schnauzer openly.
Trust me, the quality of stupidity is quite different as they provoke a totally different reaction.
Hi Shane and thank you so much for your thoughtful post. You are right. At times like that, I must practice what I preach: I have said in another post that there will always be stupid people in the world no matter where you go and we should just accept that as a fact of life, rather than get upset over the fact that stupid people will do/say stupid things because you can't make it your personal mission to go round the world, curing the world of stupidity one person at a time.
DeleteI do think however, that I am able to protect myself from stupid people - eg. whom I choose to work with, whom I choose as my friends, whom I choose to socialize with etc. But when it is my own parents who inflict this kind of stupid crap on me, like I can't choose my parents and they have a lifelong habit of saying insensitive stupid crap at me all my life - what can I do? And I'm like, seriously, you seriously think I am thaaaat bloody stupid to take a holiday in a country in the grip of an Ebola outbreak - like, really? Is that how stupid you think I am? And the irony is that I have been worrying so much about protecting my mum from her own stupidity (see previous post on Malaysian phone scams) as she is really quite the silly old lady these days devoid of even the most basic common sense.
It's easy to ignore Leila's stupid friends on FB (they are her friends not mine - but that's what the unfriend function on FB is for Leila) - but when it comes to my own parents, sigh - what can I do?
Common sense is not very common. One of the things that is constant that I unfortunately had to find out the hard way myself.
ReplyDeleteTwenty-tree
I can totally feel you...I am going to Tokyo for a holiday and all my friends are like, "Are you not afraid of the radiation", "You will get free chemotherapy there! hahaha", "You cannot give birth after returning, you will have deformed children!!". Double DUH. Mind you, these are highly educated individuals, and I really did not expect such a strong reaction. Yes, so we choose what we want to believe in.
ReplyDeleteHi there, thanks for your comment. I feel for ya! I'm back from Africa and guess what? Not dead from Ebola yet! But you know... I encountered LOADS of Tunisians who said some pretty bloody stupid things to me whilst I was there and I just had to ignore them.
DeleteDon't get me wrong, I encountered no racism whatsoever. Let me give you an example to the stupidity I encountered. The following conversation took place in French (my second language, also the 2nd language in Tunisia).
Shopkeeper: Where are you from sir? What is your origin? (asks me several times until I finally answer).
Limpeh: I'm Chinese.
Shopkeeper: Oh you're from China!
Limpeh: That's not what I said. I'm Chinese but not from China.
Shopkeeper: In China they eat rice!
Limpeh: (WTF?) Yeah... so?
Shopkeeper: In China you have the great wall of China!
Limpeh: What?
Shopkeeper: In China you have pandas!
Limpeh: Yeah and everyone has a panda. It's like a pet.
Shopkeeper: You have a panda?
Limpeh: I have two in fact.
Shopkeeper: Pandas eat bamboo!
Limpeh: No they don't. They eat meat. I feed mine fried chicken. They love fried chicken.
Shopkeeper: Wow, really?
Limpeh: Trust me, I'm Chinese.
Duh. That's one of many conversations I've had in Tunisia - so many of them have never ever seen a Chinese/East Asian before and they just spout random bullshit at me like that and I usually just ignore them or test just how bloody stupid they actually are. Then I walk away feeling guilty, knowing that I benefited from an excellent education system in Singapore compared to what they have in Africa.
Mind you, the worst was in Kairouan where this stranger just ran up to me and said like 3 times, "Japonais? Japonais? Japonais?" I ignored him as I didn't want to dignify his ridiculous intrusion with an answer. And then he grabbed my arm and I pushed him away and shouted, "LA TILMISNI! META KEESH MAIYA, IDRUKNI!, IMSHEE!" (Don't touch me! Leave me alone, piss off, go away!") And not only did I say that in Arabic, I said it in the local Tunisian dialect of Arabic. LOL. You should've seen the look on his face. He didn't expect that reaction from this 'Japanese' looking tourist.
DeleteI know it's rare for East Asians to venture into Africa and I can put up with stares from kids... but that guy crossed the line when he grabbed my arm. I could have been even more rude in Arabic but that was enough. #everyoneshouldlearnarabic