Gay Penguins and an epic Singaporean PR disaster

Hello again everyone. I have read and heard much about the controversy over the removal of the three books And Tango Makes Three, Who's In My Family and The White Swan Express from the National Libraries. Obviously, much has been said about the bigotry involved in this case. I can only look at this case and sign - this is Singapore, I am saddened but not shocked, so here is my response to the episode.The NLB has made a terribly foolish mistake and has committed the PR gaffe of the year over these three books in the way they have handled this episode.

Who's afraid of the gay penguins?

I am going to discuss this from a PR and marketing point of view, since that is my professional background having worked in PR, sales & marketing all my professional life. I observe that there is a major flaw in the strategy by these 'pro-family values' campaigners who have demanded the removal of these three library books. They claim that it would be inappropriate for young children to read about alternative lifestyles and be influenced through these three story books; and they got their way but from a marketing & PR point of view, I can only express my disapproval at the way they have conducted their campaign.

In deciding to pulp the three books in question, the NLB has unleashed such a huge backlash both locally and internationally - it is the classic Streisand effect. Now admittedly, up till now, like many people, I have never ever heard of any of those three books. I think I have heard about the story of the two gay penguins in New York zoo as it is a true story, but I had no idea a writer turned that into a storybook for children. Given how it has made the news around the world via mainstream newspapers and news portals, these three titles have ironically enjoyed a level of publicity that money simply can't buy. Given how many books there are in the library, those three books could have been quietly gathering dust on a shelf for many years, effectively ignored by the visitors to the library who would have opted for more popular titles like the Harry Potter series, anything by Roald Dahl or the great works of Beatrix Potter.

These books could have quietly collected dust in the library for years...

So in her decision to pulp these three books, Elaine Ng, NLB's CEO is making headlines for all the wrong reasons - her actions are compared to a medieval book burning and she is caught like a rabbit in the headlights, unable to adequately justify her actions. Let's face it, she is a CEO of a NLB, not a commercial organization, she is clearly unable and incompetent when it comes to dealing with a massive PR disaster. I wish to send her a memo which simply reads, "Elaine, when in a hole, stop digging. Instead, ask for help." I swear it is painful to see her flounder like this I just wanna whisper in her ear, "aiyoh Elaine, do you realize this is about damage control and managing a situation spiraling out of control, you cannot have this primary school teacher approach to the situation just because you're dealing with children's books. Stop embarrassing yourself already."

So let's put things in perspective: in a matter of days, Elaine Ng has ensured that these three titles are reported in the news around the world, a protest read-in was organized outside the National Library on Victoria Street and she has stirred up a huge debate about whether her decision was justified. Talk about 弄巧成拙 - good grief, it's #PRfail on an epic scale. Here's the irony, I suspect that Elaine Ng may not even be the kind of nasty homophobic bigot that some people have made her out to be, rather, in the context of Singapore, her hand was forced by the situation to take this course of action. Rather, it is her inability to handle the situation which her exposed her sheer incompetence.

Elaine Ng handled the situation very poorly.

What would I have done in her position (if we assume that her hand was forced in this matter)? Rather than desperately trying to justify herself, she should instead say, "okay, we recognize from the public response that there is a range of opinion out there and we are happy to listen to everyone on this issue. The NLB is there to serve the public and we are always willing to engage with our users to understand what your needs are, what your opinions are and see what we can do to improve the way we serve you." I would then put the decision on ice - note that even if she was ordered to destroy those books, she would have the power at least to delay the destruction for a few weeks until the issue blows over. This is a simple tactic in PR to deescalate a volatile situation, to allow all parties involved to calm down and postpone any action.

Why do those books need to be destroyed immediately without delay? It's not like it is some kind of gay bomb that urgently needs to be defused before it blows up and turns everyone around gay. I am sure you all remember the period in March when flight MH370 went missing - it was in the headlines every single day for weeks following the flight's disappearance. Now four months later, unless there are significant new developments, it doesn't appears in the news anymore despite the fact that the plane is still not found. Elaine Ng could have employed a similar tactic with those books - she could remove them from the shelves and then place them under review for an unspecified period of time. The books would no longer be available in the libraries but their fate is postponed indefinitely "pending internal review" - it is a solution which simply involves kicking the can down the road until people have found something else to focus on (remember this British expat called Anton Casey... anyone?). In a few months, the books could either be removed permanently or replaced on the shelves very quietly, without the glare of the international media spotlight. And that Elaine, is how Limpeh would have defused this volatile PR situation. It isn't rocket science to contain the situation.

Any new developments in the search for MH370? No...?

In any case, Elaine Ng and all these other people who are so keen for the NLB to get rid of these three books clearly do not understand human psychology - they suffer from tunnel vision when it comes to the issue. Even after destroying those books in the NLB's collection, they are still widely available in Singapore - unless those three books are totally banned from Singapore, you have merely alleviated their status to the forbidden fruit which is always sweeter. People who have never read the book will now be curious to want to read them out of sheer curiosity, to find out why these stories are so controversial. As a direct consequence of the NLB's actions, far more people in Singapore will end up reading these three books - this is the polar opposite of what they were trying to achieve in the first place. #弄巧成拙

Let's talk about these pro-family value campaigners: the product they are trying to sell is "traditional family values" - instead of celebrating the merits of their product, they are condemning alternatives to their product. This breaks ones of the most basic rules about marketing: be proud of your product. Allow me to illustrate my point with an example: when I was in the Djemma El-Fna square in Marrakech, there were hundreds of food vendors in that square. This young man offered me a small sample: a small piece of fried fish and invited me to dine at his stall. I told him I wanted to walk around and see the rest of the market first before deciding. He said with pride, "go if you want but you will not find another stall selling anything as good as my recipe. Feel free to walk around the square as many times as you like."

Limpeh in Morocco.

There was something about his pride that made him stand out from the rest of the hawkers - he actually believed that his product spoke for itself and once I had tasted his sample, that was his work done. Some of the other hawkers were a lot more hard sell and would follow me, harass me even hold on to my arm so I couldn't walk away from their stall. It was almost as if they knew they didn't have the best food in the market, thus they were afraid for me to walk even a few steps away, lest I came across something a bit more appetizing elsewhere in the market. Some would even put down the food of others, "don't go there, they are dirty, they don't cook nice food, they charge you more."  I can smell the desperation from a mile away and would avoid these super friendly and zealous hawkers - sure enough, I eventually returned to the young man who took pride in his fried fish and ate there.

Here's the cardinal rule about marketing: never ever put down your opponent's product, always celebrate your product. If you know that you have a better product, then you will never worry about your customers potentially comparing your product with others - if your product is indeed the superior product, then that will be the conclusion that the customer will come to naturally. Putting down your rivals/competitors only makes you look dishonest, desperate and insecure. If these pro-family campaigners really want young people to choose to follow a more traditional path of family life, how about leading by example and showing in practice how much happier their choices have made them. Just do what the fried fish hawker in Morocco did - simply take pride in what you believe in and what you are promoting.

There are many hawkers in Djemma El-Fna Square in Marrakech.

You see, that would never work in real life. Given the number of heterosexual couples who do get married and have children, you may get a whole range of results: you get couples who are happily married for 50 years and have loads of grandchildren and then you have the dysfunctional couples who have long fallen out of love but are forced to stay together for the sake of the children. Oh and I have not even started on the bitter divorces yet (have I got a few stories to tell you about dysfunctional marriages and nasty divorces). There is simply no guarantee that anyone who goes down this path will lead a happy and successful life. . The fact is relationships are difficult and challenging at the best of time and requires a lot of effort on both parties to make them successful.

This makes traditional heterosexual marriage with children a very hard-sell for the pro-family campaigners: how do persuade young people to pick this option when it may end up quite badly for them? So rather than talking about their own product, they go on the offensive and attack non-traditional family arrangements, such as that demonstrated by the gay penguin couple. Now can you imagine this approach being taken in the world of advertising? Can you imagine McDonald's launching an advertising campaign where they put down Burger King or KFC? Can you imagine an ad by iPhone (Apple) where they put down Samsung, Blackberry and other kinds of mobile phones? Can you imagine an ad by British Airways which puts down any other airline instead of celebrating how good they are? You get the idea - this is simply something you do not do in the commercial world because putting down others makes you look bad.

How would you feel if someone put his rival down?

I have already pointed out a few instances on my blog whereby the Singapore government has been guilty of PR gaffes, it seems that there simply isn't a culture of considering clever, effective and subtle marketing in Singapore - there is this 'bull in a china shop' approach to getting your message across in Singapore. Is it possible to market a product like "traditional marriage" effectively, knowing that it comes with no guarantee of happiness or success? Yes actually, you only need to look towards the more sophisticated world of advertising to learn a few simple lessons about marketing a product like that. (Crikey, at times like this, I am tempted to move to Singapore to set up my own PR consultancy there as there's a huge gap in the market for clever PR in Singapore.) 

Let's look at the Tourism Authority of Thailand as an example: there is absolutely no guarantee that you will have a good holiday in Thailand. The political situation is tense, there is constant unrest and protest in the streets, there have been military coups and curfews and even if the political situation is calm during your visit, there are still so many things that could go wrong, as my sister found out during a recent visit to Phuket. She encountered a few blackouts which plunged Phuket into darkness. When she took a boat trip to visit the islands, she encountered a storm and became very seasick. Finally when the weather was good, she went to the beach and encountered hordes of obnoxious and irritating PRC tourists. And finally to cap it all off, she had a bout of food poisoning after a seafood dinner. And if you think things went badly for her, her friend had her purse stolen whilst shopping - it wasn't a good holiday for her.

Limpeh having fun at the beach.

Indeed, the Tourism Authority of Thailand is more than aware of how things can go wrong for tourists like my sister. What do they do to deal with it? They run a very upbeat and positive campaign, celebrating the best that Thailand can offer. They show you what you could experience in Thailand if you spent a lot of money and nothing went wrong (no storms, no blackouts, no food poisoning, no obnoxious PRCs etc). It is not rocket science - celebrating the best of Thailand would present them in the best possible light. How would you feel if the Tourism Authority of Thailand starting slagging off other countries? If these pro-family campaigners want to celebrate the virtues of traditional heterosexual marriage, then by all means, present to the world what the best of your world has to offer the same way the Tourism Authority of Thailand celebrates the best of Thailand to entice you to book your next holiday there.

Young children will have a very simple reference for them to decide if traditional heterosexual marriage is the right path for them: their own experience with their parents. If you really want your children to get married and have children, then really the most basic step is to lead by example: give them a happy home, give them a happy childhood, if you can show by example what good parents you can be, then your children may aspire to be just like you, rather than think, "no way am I going to repeat the kind of mistakes you made, you were a terrible parent." You can preach about traditional family values till the cows come home but actions speaks far louder than words at the end of the day.

Action speaks louder than words in parenting.

So, before you preach to us about family values and traditional marriage, can I ask for a dose of reality please and point out that a heterosexual marriage is just like a holiday in Thailand. It can be as marvelous as what the travel brochure promised or you could have a miserable time in Phuket like my sister did. Likewise, there are plenty of adults who have chosen not to go down the route of traditional heterosexual marriage and have a family: we're talking about adults in gay and lesbian relationships, adults who are single, single parents, adults who get married but do not have children and there are plenty of them who are extremely happy with their choices as well.

There seems to be a crucial factor when it comes to adults who are happy - money. Those adults who are wealthy are able to enjoy a much higher standard of living, they can purchase nice things to enjoy from fancy meals in expensive restaurants to fun exotic holidays to sports cars. They don't need to worry about their retirement and they don't need to stress about having to pay the bills. For the adults who are struggling to make ends meet, the lack of money is a constant source of stress. Having a family or children wouldn't solve your problems - it'll only probably make matters far worse. Imagine if you're in a dead end job and are constantly broke - that's already a difficult situation to begin with. Now imagine if you're in that same lousy job, constantly broke and have two young children to support - damn, your situation just got a lot worse. Money may not always buy you happiness, but the lack of money will always cause you misery. So it really doesn't matter whether you're married or divorced, gay or straight, or whether you have any children or loads of children - let's be pragmatic please: what really matters is your financial situation at the end of the day.

How rich you are impacts on how happy you will be in this life.

Statistically speaking, the vast majority of young Singaporeans today will go down this route of traditional marriage and have a family. I only hope that the vast majority of them will do so because they have met someone they truly love and want to settle down with, rather than doing it because they have been pressured into it or feel that they have no other alternative. There are plenty of parents out there who have long fallen out of love with their spouses and are staying with their partners only because there are children involved. Then there are the parents who make grand sacrifices for their children, putting their own dreams and ambitions on hold only to be frustrated, vexed and disappointed by their children. Whilst many of these marriages do not end up in bitter divorce, the adults involved are not happy either - life simply plods along for them day by day. Such is the harsh reality of this traditional marriage route and those who do go down this path should be aware of the risks.

If you want to talk about being pro-family or pro-marriage, then let's have a sensible discussion about what marriage means and what family life is all about. Let's talk about the possibility of introducing some sensible policies which can help improve the quality of family life in Singapore, such as reducing the extremely long hours Singaporeans have to work - simply allowing Singaporean parents to go home at a sensible time to spend some quality time with their children will go a long way to help improve the quality of family life in Singapore. Being homophobic and picking on these three 'gay' books in the library is but a red herring - all you will do is piss off the pro-gay and pro-equality people , make Singapore look like some uncivilized, barbaric fascist state that indulges in medieval book burning rituals but you're still no closer to making option of traditional marriage and starting a family any easier for young Singaporeans today.

Can we have a sensible conversation about family life?

So that's it from me on this issue. All I can say is that at times like this, I am so glad I am a British citizen today as I read the endless number of posts by my frustrated Singaporean friends on social media and I do feel for them, having to put up with this kind of bullshit in this day and age. Please do let me know what you think about this issue, how do you feel about the way this issue has been handled? Do leave me a comment below. Thank you very much for reading.