Hi guys, I thought I'd do a short look back at some of the more interesting posts I have done over the years. One aspect of blogging to enjoy is talking to people who have very different kinds of experiences, who have done things I'd never done before, hence talking to them allows me to look into their world and then I share what I have learnt from them with my readers on my blog. I'm not going to play favourites, I enjoyed doing all of these interviews and the order they appear in below do not reflect any kind of preference on my part. It is hard to compare them as they are quite different in nature.
1. Alvin Tan gives me an exclusive from America
Back in 2014, Alvin Tan made the headlines when he fled Malaysia to escape a long jail sentence and made his way to America to seek asylum there. He went quiet for months whilst his asylum claim was being processed. When he broke his silence, he chose to speak to me because he trusted me - he didn't trust the Malaysian or Singaporean media outlets who have already drawn their daggers, ready to condemn him no matter what he said. It was such a brilliant interview because Alvin is such a character - he is articulate, intelligent but also controversial and provocative all at the same time.
In this interview, I compare and contrast the different experiences of two gay teachers, one in Singapore (who is in the closet) and one in the UK (who is openly gay) - whilst this article is quite old, I have just reread it and a lot of the points they make are still totally relevant today. I really like this article because I managed to get two very different points of view on the same subject of teaching from two gay teachers trying to do the same job but working in quite different conditions.
3. A man who makes a living playing computer games
Gaming has become such a massive industry and provides employment for many people, but to be able to make a living as a gamer sounds too good to be true? Not for David, aka Zaccubus on Twitch. David describes to me how he got into gaming as a teenager and how that eventually became a full time job for him. Loads of young people have come to my blog looking for career advice and this was just the kind of interview I need to persuade them to be more open-minded.
4. Getting a Chinese perspective on a Chinese problem
The ugly Chinese tourist has always been an issue that makes the headline whenever yet another Chinese tourist makes a fool of himself/herself in public when traveling abroad, it is easy to condemn and ridicule such people but in this piece, I interviewed Ms Chen from Tianjin, to try to understand the root causes of these problems and conditions creating these very ugly tourists. Don't worry - Ms Chen was just as keen as me to condemn all these poorly behaved Chinese tourists!
5. An interview with an IT gatekeeper
I have spoken a lot about the role of gatekeepers and the recruitment process, but I decided to interview an expert in the field when one reader made quite a ridiculous assumption that just because companies like Google no longer look at paper qualifications, that they have leveled the playing field and thus you can get a degree from a terrible university at the very bottom of the league tables and still be in the running for a great job at Google. That was why I got the IT gatekeeper to deal with that stupid assumption - it is a useful reality check for those of you looking for your next job in IT.
6. Black Lives Matter from a black perspective
Black Lives Matter was one of the biggest themes of 2020 (apart from Covid-19 that also dominated our lives last year), but I felt I couldn't really talk about the issue, so I spoke to my friend Josh who is a black American to try to understand his perspective on the matter, as I also felt that was the best way I could express some of my own opinions on the issue.
7. Peter the legal interpreter shares his stories
Back in 2014, I did a series of interviews with Peter, a former legal interpreter who did English-Mandarin translation for Chinese criminals who couldn't communicate with their lawyers and other officials in the legal system here in the UK. It was heart-wrenching to hear some of the stories of how the young, illegal immigrants from China end up in trouble here.
8. Being gay in the army in Singapore
I like the honesty of the interviewee Andrew who told me the story of how he got through national service by becoming the lover of a senior officer in his unit (and this officer was actually married with children). This is the kind of thing that probably happens more often that we think in a place like Singapore and thus that is why it was great to share this story.
9. A history lesson for you Singaporeans about Singapore!
This was a lovely interview with an older Singaporean talking about what Singapore was like in the 1950s and 1960s. I felt it was necessary to do a piece like that because many younger Singaporeans suck at history and imagined that Singapore was a swampy fishing village at the time of independence - that it was the PAP who delivered this economic transformation into a rich city when actually, Singapore was already a thriving city back in the 1960s. I like her detailed memories about the aspects of her life back then from the kind of public transport she used to her experiences at school.
10. An interview with a porn star
I really like this interview with Regina because we didn't focus on the sleazy aspects of the porn industry just to get more hits on my blog, instead I talked about issues like how Regina's parents reacted and whether she had told her old friends from her hometown about her new career. The interview was part of an adult season where I chatted with various people who made a living from the adult entertainment industry - it was a very enlightening experience and I learned quite a lot.
So there you go, those are ten interviews I really liked - I often use the hyperlink function to direct some traffic to these interviews I have done in the past but I thought they do deserve more attention. What do you think? Were there any interviews in that list that particularly stood out for you? Furthermore, would you like me to do more interviews in the future and what kind of interviews would you like to read? Leave a comment below please and many thanks for reading.
Hi Alex. I really enjoyed reading Peter the legal interpreter's interview. Another one I enjoyed that isn't on this list was with the high-end escort.
ReplyDeleteHi Amanda and thanks for your comment. Admittedly, I think parts 1 and 2 of Peter's stories were the best and not as good as parts 3 and 3, but such is the nature of such compilations as you're bound to get a mix of stories, some obviously stand out. And I only wanted to include one interview from the Adult Season in the top ten, so I chose Regina (the porn star) over Jessica (the high-end escort). It was such an interesting series of interviews to do because at the back of my head, I had conflicted thoughts: on one hand, I was jealous that some people were so beautiful they can use their beauty for a living (be it as a supermodel, a porn star or an escort), that people would pay good money to have access to that beauty and in contrast, no I had to work for a living as I simply wasn't beautiful - I did not win the genetic lottery when it came to beauty. On the other hand, beauty will fade when time & gravity will do their dirty work even on these beautiful people who are stunningly gorgeous today. They know that, there is a time limit on their beauty, this product has a 'sell-by date'. They are making good money now but what will happen to them in the future, when they are my age for example? I can still make money using my brains even if I am a bald, middle aged man but the future is uncertain for them even if they did win the genetic lottery when it came to beauty and stunningly good looks. On one hand, I was jealous, on the other hand, I wasn't.
Delete*Sorry, typo in line 2: "and parts 3 and 4 were not as good".
DeleteYup I loved part 1 and 2 of Peter's stories. The way you wrote it was like some hollywood crime thriller, especially with the 17 year old. People hardly see the point of view of criminal operations from the people they exploit. Its sad that its very difficult for people to exit these types of situations though...
DeleteHahaha you have wrote before of how someone sent you hate mail for having an acting career because they didn't think you were traditionally hollywood handsome. I don't think its true that beauty automatically equals money, because if you watch documentaries about the modelling industry(or even the porn industry) there is a huge amount of exploitation and low or unpaid wages. Being good at anything, whether being pretty or good at adding numbers, is useless if you can't make sure people pay you. So, even with beauty there can be an oversupply and not enough demand haha. Knowledge is power, particularly knowledge in short supply.
Hello Amanda, a part of the reason why I want to share some of these stories is because of something I learnt at university (hey, I have a useless degree in geography y'know); I learnt about the work of an Indian academic who talked about capturing the voices of the subaltern - for her context, the Indian woman back in those days rarely had a voice, they were not in business, they were not in politics, they were certainly not in academia and so it was the men in power, the men in business, the men in the universities writing the history and focusing on other men in power whilst ignoring the stories of the women. So she set out capturing the voices of not just the women, but others in society who don't have someone to record their stories, their experiences. I did that in my 6 part series when I talked about my father's life from the day he was born to this very day - there's no real record of him. If you Googled him (which I have just done), there is ONE entry. Good grief and it is an old photograph from the primary school where he used to teach: so it was literally, "first row, from left to right:" then a list of all the names of the teachers in the first row, then second row, from left to right; that's the only footprint my father has left on the internet. It was not even a clear photo - he was just one face amongst the many teachers in the photo and I couldn't even see him clearly in that photo. If I wasn't able to find him thanks to the caption, I might not have been able to identify him at all. Someone uploaded an old photo from that primary school and there's literally nothing else. If he died tomorrow, that photo is the only footprint he has left behind on the internet and that's why I created that 6 part series for him - but given how very critical I had been of him in that series, I didn't include his name out of respect: I wanted to capture his story, I didn't want to name & shame him. But these subaltern stories (such as those of the illegal immigrants) should be captured, shared and be a part of our rich tapestry of human experiences - we shouldn't only remember people like presidents, CEOs and famous pop stars.
DeleteAs for the topic of beauty, maybe it is just me being insecure since I never felt I was traditionally handsome - heck, when I was in my teens and early 20s, I had the perfect body thanks to my gymnastics yet I felt so incredibly ugly because of my low self-esteem. Now I am a lot more sensible in my 40s, I may not have a good body these days but I have learnt that self-esteem is not built on how beautiful you look or how perfect your body is, but your mental health and learning to love yourself for who you are.
Yeah thats what I've noticed when looking back at history, that a very small subset of the human population controls the media and by extension recorded history. Like nowadays some young people think life was so good back then after reading Plato's works. But then they forget that Plato was part of the few well-off people in ancient Greece, and everyone else was poorly educated and struggling to feed themselves. Life only looks bad today because we are starting to hear stories from people who aren't the 1%, when in reality the bottom 50% today are probably richer than the top 1% 300 years ago. I think despite people saying social media and smartphones are a bad thing, it does make broadcasting your voice more accessible. The George Floyd protests are a good example. Before smartphones nobody would have filmed and widely shared such a video, as traditional media was the only way and wouldn't have allowed it.
DeleteYeah I get how you feel. I was the fat girl in high school where I'd see guys open doors and give up chairs for the average girl, but never for me. Even when I went to college, lost weight, and suddenly had guys open doors for me and even follow me to fencing class, I still didn't feel good about myself. This is just an adult life lesson, that self-esteem is internal rather than external.
Exactly, social media and internet technology has caused a revolution in the way our history is recorded. I am old enough to remember what it was like in the 1980s when the government controlled everything we could see or hear in the media - there was this case in the 2006 when there was this journal called the Far Eastern Economic Review (FEER) which published a piece of research critical of the Singaporean government. What did the government do? They banned the FEER in Singapore - problem solved. It was not even like it was a porno magazine for crying out aloud, it was an academic journal but that was the power the top 1% had in making sure they controlled the history that was recorded at that time. We're not even talking Plato here - we're talking about my childhood, this was within my lifetime. Nowadays people in Singapore can use VPNs to bypass the censors and see/watch anything they want, this has all changed within my lifetime - it is a seismic shift that has occurred in a very short period of time!
DeleteAs for the issue of self-confidence and beauty, I'm not as beautiful as I was 20 years ago but I get so much more attention today mostly because of social media! I currently have a new stalker who has gone through every photo on my Instagram and liked them all - like crikey, I get a notification every time someone like a post and I had to put my phone on silent as my phone just kept going non-stop for ages and this guy is clearly telling me he is interested. I looked at his profile and he's young, crikey, like 18 or 19 - I didn't even acknowledge it as he's in Holland and he's quite clear he wants to meet me (and no, not just for a cup of coffee, he's quite clear what he wants to do when he meets me). Did I ever get any attention like that when I was his age? Never, hell no, never. But if you look at my Instagram, I think I do come across as confident and that's the only difference: I'm not banking on my good looks, but I'm projecting an image of confidence and that's why I am able to attract attention on social media like that. If you had told me back in 2000 that there would be an internet platform where strangers from other countries would like my photos and then send me compliments (and sexually aggressive comments) even though I'm in my mid-40s, I would just laugh and said you were crazy. But there you go, this is happening today?!?!
Oh man SG has all sorts of issues with press freedom. That was part of the reason I didn't want to stay in the country. If something bad happened to me I certainly wouldn't be able to expose whoever did it if they were in the government. In fact I did see a lot of corruption within Sg's scientific government institute, A*STAR.
DeleteLol this guy must really love men in suits haha, or charming actors. That's the thing, when I talk to popular people and ask how they get so many guys to like them, their answer is "smile a lot" and "be confident." I think people more than anything would like to be around someone who looks like they take care of themselves. No point being with someone good looking but boring or a complete mess. I'm also surprised that when I go on Tinder my job isn't a complete turnoff. In fact to some guys it looks like I have a stable career and won't need help financially which means less for them to worry about.
Well Amanda, that's why so many people like you and I chose to leave Singapore. Others who remain do so for various reasons but often they're like my friends who feel they can't part from their family; so they put up with the restrictions and find a way to find happiness there.
DeleteOh I woke up this morning and I got a new stalker from Brazil who did the same thing: liked every post on Instagram going back and long way. Like hello? That's how he got my attention but what about simply saying hello instead of liking everything? But to be honest, I am observant and I learn to copy what is successful, what works for others: so there's this Canadian guy living/working in Texas - I think he's probably around my age, possibly plus minus a few years, he's totally bald like me and he's always posting pics of himself in his suits on Instagram. He has very nice suits, a lot of them, clearly like me he loves dressing up formally and each pic gets thousands of likes instantly, like woah. Again, guys like us are never considered classically good looking because of the fact that we're bald. But go figure - I don't think it's our faces our looks per se, it's more a certain kind of image we present that attracts that much attention. One of my gay friends said quite bluntly to me, "you look like a rich sugar daddy that a poorer gay man might want to seduce, because you're projecting an image of wealth this way." I told him I'm not exactly posing with my sports car (which I don't have), Rolex watches and diamonds - he said, "yes but it's more the image: if you have a wardrobe like that, it means you have a reason to dress up - you have an important job that requires you to look formal for the meetings and you also earn enough money to buy all these suits. That's enough to attract the attention of these poorer gay guys." Eeeeks. Since when have I pimped myself out as a sugar daddy on social media?
@LIFT I was watching French videos just the other day and came upon La Sape from Congo. I'm sure you are projection that sort of an image although you don't spend you life savings on nice clothes and shoes. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W27PnUuXR_A
DeleteI am very familiar with this and I find it just bizarre on so many levels! Where do I begin?
Delete1. The men are not gay. In the West, if you find a gay man obsessing about any kind of fashion, it's a gay thing. And if you find a man on Instagram posting about suits, you can be 99% sure he is gay and there's a gay element about it. Straight men in the West just do not obsess over fashion to this extent - but these Sapeurs are straight, even married with kids and they are not interested in gay sex with other Sapeurs, just the fashion per se. Like whaaaat?
2. They are so freaking poor, look at the houses they live in - yet they spend so much money on high end fashion. I'm like, please invest in your children's education instead of buying such expensive suits and shoes. It is a question of priority, please.
3. They claim to be influenced by French fashion after fighting for France in WW2 and brought French fashion back to the Congo, but really you would hardly ever find anyone in France dressing like that. They have developed a style of their own that's not French but uniquely Congolese - they like bright colours, there was that guy who walked down the street in a bright red suit and no one in France would ever choose that colour for a suit. But within their community, that's cool and they like a splash of bolder colours. In Europe you suit up to look formal, in a sense you're trying to conform to a certain business look to send out a message: but for them, they're trying to stand out rather than fit in.
4. It is really HOT & humid in Brazzaville - it is tropical, identical to Singapore. So these men are suiting up without air-conditioning, how do they do that without sweating profusely? It is not the kind of climate to sit around in a suit and tie when it is 30+ degrees.
5. Due to the lockdown, I have done a lot of online shopping and you can get a cheap suit, a moderately priced one and then you can push the boat out. I saw an image of a nice suit and I went to the website and they wanted like £3,500 (S$6,500) for a suit and at that point, it's not even a question of whether I can afford it - even if I can afford it, why would you spend thaaaaat much more on a suit when there are cheaper options available? It's about creating a stylish image, not about showing off how much you have spent. When I saw that image of the nice suit, I had no idea it was that expensive as well. I am interested in style whilst I can't help but feel that these Sapeurs are obsessed with designer labels.
7. And finally, when traveling in poor, third world countries, I would always try my best to give the impression that I'm a very poor backpacker with no more than $10 on me, to avoid attracting attention from criminals. These sapeurs are doing quite the opposite but I guess they live there, they know exactly what they're dealing with and feel safe enough to dress up like that in their neighbourhoods.
DeleteAlso my teacher said we should never use je suis to for self-intro but je m'appelle instead. However, in the video everyone is using either je suis or je suis on m'appelle. Can you explain why they speak like this?
DeleteSorry that should have been point 6, but here's point 7: this is perhaps a stretch of imagination, but instead of getting married with kids, settling in a little shack in Brazzaville then spending so much money on high end fashion, perhaps it is harsh of me to say this. They ought to have invested in their education, stayed single (or at least not have any children), get a degree in something very useful like engineering or medical care, then they can actually move to France and have a taste of the high life in Paris - rather than create their version of what the high life in Paris might be like in their Congolese backyard. Oooh, that's bitchy, sorry, but I just had to say that. I remember the Singaporean equivalent of that and I was really cruel about it as well. But these were just a small group of wankers, les Sapeurs is a sizable movement in the Congo. http://limpehft.blogspot.com/2015/06/limpehs-take-on-gentlemans-pride.html
DeleteFunny you should mention SG's version but a search of their instagram seems to lead to nothing so I bet they have disappeared into the night. Another passing fad like coffee buns and luohan fish.
DeleteOK a few points for you Choaniki: firstly, on the topic of "je suis" vs "je m'appelle" - such is the difference between formal French which you are taught in the classroom, on an official course and the real French that people speak in the streets. A good equivalent would be the formal English I tend to default to when writing on my blog and the way I would gladly lapse into Singlish when speaking with you in person. There are also huge regional variations in the French speaking world in their local expressions - I was watching a French Canadian video last night on Youtube and boy their French was different compared to the French I learnt in France. Then when I am in French-speaking Africa, again, huge difference - I can still communicate but it's vastly different. The most bizarre one though was Haitian French; I've not been to Haiti yet, but I have met Haitian people in Dominican Republic and Miami and I spoke to them in French, still the same language but vastly different in the way they express themselves.
DeleteThis reminds me of when I watched a Youtube video when they were interviewing an old man and his daughter in China: both were speaking Mandarin but I struggled to understand the old man's accent (he was not speaking a regional dialect, it was definitely Mandarin but with a very strong accent) but his daughter had a far more neutral accent that I understood with ease - hence I can only assume it was a product of her education. So yeah, don't be put off by people who speak non-standard French, you're going to get that even in Paris with the young people who have developed their own street slang. I recommend bilingual comedian Paul Taylor (free on Youtube) and he does bilingual French-English comedy, some of his stuff is good and I can relate to having lived in France, especially the material about how French people really struggle when trying to speak English.
And I'm not surprised that the Gentlemen's Pride has disappeared. LOL. They were a fucking joke to begin with, they misfired lah. I don't even think they're gay - I actually know some gays in Singapore who take an interest in suit and tie and they definitely know what they're doing. When straight men take an interest in fashion, well - let's not go there. LOL.
Funny you should mention Paul Taylor, i watched one of his routines due to YouTube recommending him. I loved his une croissant bit and him telling everyone that he is just stupid to make his wife look bad.
DeleteMind you, the same thing happens in Spanish (and other European languages as well): like in Spanish you're meant to say Mi llamo (I call myself) instead of Soy (I am) but people say "Soy Alex" all the time. Same thing happens in Dutch, German, Italian, Russian etc: in Russian you're suppose to say meenya zavoot (equivalent of je m'appelle) but I was watching a Russian Youtube and she would say "ya Anna" (I'm Anna) al the time instead of "meenya zavoot Anna" - why? She is casual, she is not formal and meenya zavoot is such a clunky, long phrase that one would tend to use in a formal situation. But having said that, even if that happens all the time in Europe, do stick to je m'appelle instead of using Je suis for now, because there's no penalty for being formal but there would be if you go too casual with people you don't know well enough. Same thing with Singlish lah, I know you well enough to go 100% full Singlish with you - but would I do it with a stranger I've only just met, even if s/he was 100% Singaporean? No, I wouldn't.
DeleteRef: Paul Taylor, Youtube works really well for his kind of comedy as there are subtitles so he would be able to entertain you even if you only spoke English or French. But if you were in that hall, as part of the audience, you would need to understand both English and French to truly enjoy and appreciate his jokes. I think he's a bit of a one trick pony though, I'd like to see him innovate and come up with more refreshing new material. Do find his jokes on French Verlan, ie. the street slang that young French people use to confuse the heck out of you. I remember learning this way back in the 2000s when the company I worked for had all these 18 and 19 year old French interns and they taught me how French kids talked. I learnt phrases like "ouesh les meufs" back in like 2005, but now that has evolved to become "ouesh les feumeus" - I'll let Paul Taylor explain how it works. I can't keep up with these French kids in Paris and their verlan!
DeleteAlex I kinda think you're sensitive about people living poor, having children, but buying expensive suits instead of spending on education because you wouldn't want to be the kid of such a parent. But they could just only have 1 suit instead of 20 like you, similar to how cars are expensive but you only need 1 car and not 20. Also, I think its because we're Asian that we have a huge saving and investing culture compared to other places. I'm surprised when I hear my American peers spend 95% of their paycheck every month, intend to have a baby soon, and buy cars on credit when I'm still saving up to buy a car outright with cash. But those people could say to me "well I'm living in the now, while you're living in the future, and both should be fine." But I'm more pessimistic about the future and really scared of financial shocks, I think you are as well, so we wouldn't buy a car/fancy suit and have a kid assuming there won't be any rainy days where we can't afford either. I think the most proud of myself I felt financially was when I went to the polyclinic in SG once for what I thought was a minor issue, but then it turned out I needed to have emergency minor surgery (still not life-threatening, just an annoying problem). My employer health insurance covered 90% of the cost, but I was still liable for 500 sgd, and gladly paid it since I had saved up quite a bit in my first year of leaving university. Its emergencies like this that I always want to have enough money in the bank not to sweat over, but many people think sweating over it is worth having a car/family right now instead of later.
DeleteHi Amanda, allow me to respond to your comment.
Delete1. Firstly, I have 75 suits, not 20. I probably could have had more but I often give away old ones - we have this thing called 'charity shops' in the UK where you donate stuff you don't need anymore and they sell them for charity there. If I find something I don't like as much or the fashion trend has moved on, I'll donate it to the charity shop in order to make space for something new and do a little bit of charity at the same time.
2. As for how many suits a man needs, it depends on his job. I go out to business meetings all the time and so I have a rule never to show up at in an office wearing the same thing more than once within a month, so easily that means me needing over 30 suits at the very very least. Wear the same clothes to work all the time and you give the impression that you're too poor to buy new clothes - that's why in American high schools where you get to wear whatever you like to school, the poor kids get bullied for showing up in the same clothes/shoes all the time. But take Choaniki for example: he works in a hospital as an X-ray expert, his work environment isn't a suit & tie type office environment, so he doesn't need to bother with formal wear the way I do.
3. If these Congolese guys were rich, then I don't care or mind what the heck they do with their money. But all that money spent on formal clothing could have been spent on improving the quality of life for their family - especially when it comes to their children's education. That's the part I resent: if you have children, then you do not have the right to waste money like that - you have the responsibility to take care of your children.
@Amanda, i think you need to watch the Congo La Sape documentary. Some of these guys have many suits and saved years to buy a pair of Weston shoes. Also there was a story of someone who won the lottery and spent every single cent of it on clothes and shoes instead of a plot of land or his family. The list goes on...
DeleteHi Choaniki - the way I see it, there's a fundamental problem with the relationship les sapeurs have with their clothes. In the West, in a city like London or New York, when we see a man in a fine suit, the assumption is that he is dressing up like that because he has an important job, he has dressed up so finely and formally because he is going to be in the company of other extremely important people and he is a man on a mission. Contrast that to someone who wakes up in the morning and realizes he has no milk, he's just going to walk to the corner shop that is 3 minutes walk away to bulk a pack of milk - that's the opposite of "a man in a fine suit with a mission". When you're just going to the local shop for some milk first thing in the morning, you don't bother dressing up. Likewise, if you work in that local shop, you don't bother dressing up either as there's just no need to. Thus it tends to be important businessmen, lawyers, accountants, bankers and realtors who have to make an effort to dress up because their job makes that demand on them.
DeleteIn contrast, for les Sapeurs in the Congo, their jobs do not require them to dress up, but there is a part of their culture whereby dressing up for a party is a fun thing to do. Perhaps they have a mundane job they have to do to pay the bills, to support their families and looking forward to attending a party with their buddies where everyone has made the effort to dress up and look special is their special treat on a Friday night or during the weekend - however, the problem is that they think they can attain social status simply by putting on very expensive clothes and perhaps that does make sense within their Congolese culture. But for us in the West, we tend to associate the need to dress up with "a man with a mission". So a lawyer going to court would wear a very expensive suit because he wants to come across as successful and professional - just look at Harvey Specter from Suits. Now that's not just a work of fiction; I have known lawyers who make so much effort that they even make sure they buy the right socks to give the impression of "successful and professional" because they don't want people to get a poor first impression if they walk into the courtroom wearing one piece of clothing that looks wrong - lawyers like that get paid a lot of money to get things perfect, not to fuck it up because they can't be bothered with details.
Do you have "les Sapeurs" in the West, in a city like London? Yes actually, I know a gay guy who works in a call center, he doesn't need to dress up at all but you would never guess that looking at his Instagram as he is never photographed without the finest suits. But for him, it's a sexual fetish thing - he likes men in suits like Harvey Specter so he wants to dress like that to become the object of his desire. But he is in the minority - the vast majority of men in suits you see in a place like London belong to the 'a man with a mission' category rather than the 'all dressed up with no where to go' category, which is what I would describe les Sapeurs who are living in poverty with pretty awful, low-paid jobs but still wanna dress up as if they are a villain in a James Bond film. I think it is a bit of escapism that has gone too far, when they start neglecting their families.
Staying with the example of the hot shot lawyer who wears extremely expensive suits when he goes into the courthouse when representing a high profile client, I see that super expensive business suit as a legitimate business expense: it would be a false economy to try to buy an ill-fitting cheaper suit during a sale because you might save some money doing that, but you would lose a lot more money if gave the judge or jury a poor impression by looking cheap or like you can't be bothered to dress up. Trying to convince a jury that you're right after you've given them a poor first impression is an uphill battle you don't want to have to fight - you would rather have the odds in your favour by giving them a great first impression. So in this context, investing in an expensive suit makes complete sense because it will help you make more money as a successful lawyer - buying a cheap suit would not make sense as it would impede your ability to do your job well. So the same thing can apply to a salesman like me going to a business meeting: if I turn up looking sharp in an expensive suit, I start the meeting with a great first impression and it can help me make more money. I have a legitimate reason to invest in very expensive suits and have a wide range of suits so a client will never see me in the same suit twice, giving them the impression that I am so rich and successful doing what I do that I can afford to buy loads of expensive things.
DeleteHowever, for les Sapeurs, all these expensive suits, shirts, ties, shoes etc - that's nothing to do with their work. They probably dress normally for their ordinary work and only get their suits out for special occasions when they meet their friends. It is not a business expense, it is a leisure expense. They don't "recoup" their investment when they spend a lot of money on a very expensive suit unlike someone like Harvey Specter (or indeed myself). It is a very expensive hobby for them when it is no more than a bit of escapism and fun. That is why I am critical of them, even if that can come across as somewhat cruel and judgmental.
Wow 75 suits. That reminds me of an episode in suits where Harvey Specter scolded his protege Mike about not having enough suits and not good enough looking suits, and Mike said "but I just bought 3 new suits."
DeleteMy dad didn't have many suits, but I guess engineering is different than law or banking. He did have a nice car to pick up clients from the airport or take them out to lunch, so I suppose that's my dad's "suit." But then again even his clients didn't dress up formally, maybe cuz they have to go to oil rigs or walk past heavy machinery so a suit is not super practical.
Hmm I see why you're critical of Les Sapeurs. When you buy a suit it makes you money, but when they buy a suit it doesn't make them money (unless they're instagram famous). Yeah I'm also critical of expensive hobbies unless you already have a good education, income, and property that you don't have anything else that needs urgent investment in.
Hi Amanda, allow me to make the following points in response:
Delete1. If I want to even begin to feel like Harvey Specter, I have to dress the part and part of his charm was the effect he had on people - it wasn't just his good looks, it was his 'man with a mission' image when he dresses so well. Let's just say I have enough suits (and ties, shirts etc) for me to meet my client every single day in a month and for him/her to never ever see me wear the same thing twice - projecting such an image is important for me.
2. Let me tell you about an incident once at a Japanese supermarket - this Japanese lady approached me and asked me what I did for a living. Her reason was that she said I was the most stylish and elegant man she had seen in a long time, she was very curious as to what kind of job I did in order to dress like that. So let's analyze what is going on in that Japanese woman's mind: she thinks, "he is a man with a mission, that's why he is dressed like that, I wonder if he is meeting the Queen or someone equally important? What is his mission for today?" I told her I worked in banking and had some important meetings that day - I thought she was a little bit disappointed with my response, banking sounded a bit mundane. I should have leaned over and whispered over to her, "I'm a secret agent for the government but if I told you more, I'd have to kill you and I really don't want to have to do that as you seem nice." That was the response she was hoping for but I was honest.
3. But if that Japanese woman met les Sapeurs for some reason (why would she be in Congo, one wonders), she would ask them that same question - guys, why are you all so dressed up today, what's the occasion? The answer would disappoint her even more! "I dress up like that because I hate my job, I hate my life, but when I dress up in a fine suit, I get to pretend and play make believe for a few hours that I am a VIP, I feel important, I feel like a celebrity - I go to a party and meet my friends, then after that, I go home and go back to my little hut at the end of the street, I hang up my suit carefully and lie down in bed, realizing that I can only play make-believe and pretend for so long, before I go back to my sad life." I think it is genuinely sad that they need to do this to feel special - instead of actually investing in their education or training, to make more money in order to feel a genuine sense of accomplishment rather than play dress up & make-believe. You can put them in the most expensive designer suit, they're still not "a man with a mission", just "a sad man playing make-believe". Sorry if my analysis is rather harsh and cruel.
After Suits I was thinking whether I should put more effort into my appearance, since I really loved Harvey's boss Jessica's wardrobe. But in my industry we don't usually put any effort into our appearance (see Mark Zuckerberg). Outside of work I might haha. I've always liked fashion since I was a little girl, but wasn't skinny enough to fit into dresses until after I went to college.
DeleteHmm what did she want to hear? That you were working for MI6 or UK ambassador? It does surprise me how influential wearing the right clothes can be. Some people in Australia did a bit of performance art where they gave a homeless man a suit and asked him to beg for money in front of the train station as he usually did, and found he actually made more money that way. Clothes really do make people trust you just a bit more.
I don't think its harsh at all, I also hate escapism. For a time I played a lot of online videogames(e.g World of Warcraft) to escape from my miserable life which I couldn't be bothered to fix, and I really never want to do that again.
Hi Amanda, some professions require you to dress up, others don't. I am in sales where the philosophy has been pretty much, "do whatever you have to do in order to get the sale, whatever works for you." That's why I have always stood out and have been different from everyone else, rather than conform I am trying to find ways to define my unique selling point. I think I have two USPs: firstly, I speak many languages so some clients remember me as the guy who would speak to them in their language (rather than English). The second is the way I dress: one of my company's clients Dan once ran into me at an event and he said to me, "I look across the room, spotted the best dressed person and knew it was you from across the hall." I have to find a way to get noticed, stand out from the crowd, before I can even make a connection and then make that sale.
DeleteBut let's turn that around: imagine you're at your university and you see a lady wearing a dress like this https://www.pinterest.co.uk/pin/196962183683132930/ and surely, your first instinct would be to wonder, why is she dressed like this? Who is she trying to impress? Is she a fashion model? Is she a celebrity? Is she going to attend some important award ceremony? Will I see her dress in tomorrow's newspaper or news programme? Is there an important event happening on the university campus? The reason why you immediately ask yourself these questions is because you don't walk down the street dressed like this unless it is a special occasion and thus she is a woman with a mission in that dress; naturally we want to find out what her mission is, dressed like this.
I'm not sure what that Japanese lady was hoping to hear - perhaps she had set her expectations very high, but I do believe she was buying into the concept of being "a man with a mission" if you dress the way I do; but the Sapeurs are the opposite, they're literally all dressed up with nowhere to go, except meeting other people in the same situation. Whilst it is a fascinating aspect of Congolese culture, the fact that these guys are indulging in an expensive hobby at the expense of their families makes me feel uncomfortable. Oh and the fact that it isn't a gay thing, LOL. I always thought men being vain, indulging in fashion would naturally mean it's a gay thing, it would at least in the West! I get a lot of messages from other gay men when they see my photos and erm, I won't divulge the details but it suffices to say, it's a gay thing. And les Sapeurs are straight men - go figure!
@Amanda, talking about expensive hobbies, i don't have many suits (only 2 if I want to count). Then again my job doesn't require that i dress up. In fact I wear slipper or crocs and t-shirt to work. Someone might mistake me as a student or even an unemployed bum.
DeleteHowever, i make a decent wage in healthcare. I also tend to invest lots of money for education (if you can consider that a hobby). Last year alone i paid 10k for a degree program and this year i have spent about 1k (so far) learning A1 French. Although the ROI of knowledge can't be easily quantified, i do believe that investment in yourself will eventually pay off. Either in the form of being more enlightened (the top tier in Maslow's hierarchy of needs) or opening up more job opportunities for yourself.
6 years ago I was stuck in a dead-end cost-centre job, but now I have just completed one job interview (most likely will result in an offer since I have completed 2nd round of interview) and will likely have more lined up in the near future. And I will likely tender my resignation only in 3rd quarter this the year. So if my younger self would have known that a healthcare degree could have opened up so many doors i would have made the switch 5 years earlier.
In a way LIFT and his readers (e.g. Di, Winking Doll, etc) gave me a push to move out of my comfort zone to change industry. I was comfortable in my previous industry (LIFT should know as i worked in an MNC) but past 45 year old i would probably be increasingly at risk of being retrenched.
You spent thaaaaat much on learning French? Crikey. I usually spend $0.00 on foreign languages as the vast majority of my languages are completely self-taught, using materials I can get hold of for free on the internet. I have had zero lessons in Spanish, spent $0.00 on learning Spanish but am fluent in it today. How do you manage to spend that much on learning French?
DeleteIn response to your other point, there are two ways to avoid becoming retrenched, redundant and irrelevant: either do what Choaniki did, get yourself into a very essential service where people will pay you good money for your skills such as healthcare, or become so good at what you do (ie. in my case) where you become indispensable. Sure they can replace me with a 21 year old Estonian who would do my job for peanuts, but would the 21 year old kid be able to do what I do, as well as I do it? Obviously not, that's why my company is churning through so many young Estonians (just 2 were sacked in the last 6 months) and I'm still standing. What I do is an extremely highly skilled job which requires a combination of a) technical knowledge + b) social skills + c) foreign languages and these 21 year old Estonians simply aren't as highly skilled as I am in this field.
Alliance Française charges $360 per term for lessons. I have already paid for 2/3 of the entire level and completed 1/3 of it. You probably don't want to know how much I spent on Japanese lessons. 1 paid about $1k+ per year for advanced lessons and JLPT lessons. In total i probably spent more than 5k but i have already lost track. Anyway after A1 French i might switch to self study for A2 onwards since I know there is probably no chance that i will be able to complete the TEF certification this year (which according to a French native is more difficult than DELF).
DeleteWRT to being indispensable i would say that it only works for certain industries and they tend to be profit centre jobs.
DeleteUnfortunately for IT my role was cost centre and finance will always come up with ways to cut costs by outsourcing, downsizing, or replacing you with a cheaper alternative. And since technology changes so fast, most of your earlier acquired skills would be obsolete anyway.
I am actually quite surprised how much free resources there are to learn languages on the internet. Its not exactly a specific thing with very few experts like say quantum physics.
DeleteBtw Alex what was the reason that the two young Estonians were sacked in the last 6 months? Did they just not meet sales targets?
Hi guys, thanks for your comments and here are some answers for you.
Delete@Choaniki, I would say that the best way to learn a language is always 1 on 1 tuition. http://limpehft.blogspot.com/2014/07/what-is-best-way-to-learn-foreign.html But that would clearly cost more than what you're paying per term for the lesson. I didn't like my experience at Alliance Francaise because I was the fastest learner and I was sitting there at the back of the class, feeling incredibly impatient with my classmates who weren't picking it up as quickly as I did. Which is why self-study suited me best as I get to learn as fast as I wanted without having to wait for anyone. It also costs far less like that. You need to find the learning method that suits you best.
Also @Choaniki WRT being indispensable at work, yes of course, a lot of it depends on the context. On one hand, I'm in the right industry to make myself indispensable, on the other hand, it doesn't just happen - I have to become really good at what I do. It is that special blend of technical knowledge, social skills + languages that makes me very hard to replace whereas in the field of IT, most people are reliant on one component of that equation, their technical skills, hence are more vulnerable and easier to replace.
And @Amanda. As for my two colleagues who were sacked, crikey - they were not even selling yet! They were in a sales support role. So for example, if you are our American distributor Amanda, you would be selling our products in America and their job would have been to support you to make sure you had everything you needed in order to sell loads in your area in America and then persuade you to double, triple etc your sales in your area. They just weren't that persuasive in getting the attention of our distributors as someone in that position would get their products from multiple product providers and you have to get their attention. That's where my languages + social skills give me a massive advantage, it isn't technical knowledge at this point but purely social skills and in some cases, languages.
Hmm, come to think of it that persuasiveness is not something you can measure in terms of a degree or GPA, its just a skill or an innate talent. I remember the time I was persuaded into buying 200 dollars worth of beauty products by some Italian salespeople who offered me a free sample just as I was leaving a nearby clothing store. I never even go online to Amazon to buy beauty products, I just felt like the treatment I got was really nice and it was an impulse buy.
DeleteI guess your company's only recourse is to either step up their young talent scouting by running internship programs and giving job offers to the best performers, or hire experienced sales support staff who have already sold lots of products on their CV. Either way this example probably illustrates how job experience/skills/talent and paper qualifications aren't the same thing.
Actually I have covered this already: https://limpehft.blogspot.com/2020/09/how-much-training-should-diana-be-given.html and yes 'Diana' was one of the two former colleagues who was sacked. My approach would be to simply hire sales people who have already proven themselves, they have a track record to demonstrate that they are able to sell. So I would gladly hire the Italian salesperson who sold you those beauty products, as that's not an easy sale to make. They have definitely proven themselves to me by that token. That's the easiest approach IMHO, compared to talent scouting or internship programmes - I don't wanna try to kiss too many frogs.
Delete@Amanda you are underestimating the ease of learning a new language. There are tonnes of free internet resources as well as apps for most languages some of which i happen to use as well. If it were so easy to learn a new language from free resources why don't we see several millions of polyglots running around? In fact even if you pay for lessons like most people in the US of A do (they learn several years of French or Spanish), most will still end up being monolingual.
Delete@Choaniki - I think there are several components to mastering a language: firstly, I think the key factor is determination & motivation. Are you genuinely interested and passionate or were you forced to do the subject at school? Without that passion & interest, you won't get very far. But if you truly love the language, then you will learn really quickly because you have plenty of motivation. And then there's the teaching/learning method - a lot of these free resources are not very good at teaching languages and thus it is necessary to have a good teacher, preferably someone who can give you plenty of personal attention in order to help you progress as quickly as possible. Even in a classroom situation, two kinds of students get the teacher's attention: those who are brilliant and those who are terrible, everyone else in the middle are mostly ignored. Then there's the opportunity to use it - the reason why I speak Dutch pretty well is because I watch a lot of Dutch & Belgian reality TV, to the point where I can translate for my husband even when there's no subtitles available. I have one Dutch friend at the gym but because the gym is shut during the lockdown, I don't get to see her for conversational practice, but no worries, there's always Youtube but it's not the same, is it? And as for why there aren't millions of polyglots running around - the simple answer is that it requires an investment of thousands of hours to master a language to a high standard; that's a LOT of hard work. Most people would rather sleep, work, earn more money, exercise, do other fun leisure activities or they just don't have the time to invest in such a demanding challenge.
DeleteOh so that was Diana and the question of training. Now I get that she probably just misunderstood the job description. A salesperson, similar to a waiter, doesn't just take orders like a food delivery app. Instead they are also supposed to entice people to buy things they normally wouldn't. If those Italian salespeople just stood there and waited for customers to pick a product they like and hand over their money, then I would have never bought 200 dollars worth of product. I would have just kept on walking to the bus stop since I know nothing about beauty products. Btw I do have a friend who to pay for his college degree in carpentry worked for a mobile carrier as a salesperson. He said that if someone walks in for a broken phone, you should ask them about whether they are happy with their internet speed and are interested in upgrading, because then he gets to sell them 2 products instead of just one. I would have never thought of that, but some people get sales and some don't.
DeleteWell, I wasn't the person who hired Diana - since they've closed down the London office (I work from home, my living room is my office) and shifted the base to Tallinn, Estonia, it is the senior people there who make the hiring/firing decisions so I do blame them as well for not having hired the right person. Maybe they thought Diana would have adapted, rose to the occasion and became better - well that simply didn't happen unfortunately. I wish her well and hope that she will learn from the experience, so she can move onto a role that suits her better.
DeleteYeah it doesn't always work out, particularly for young fresh graduates. Also, even if Diana could do sales, maybe she doesn't enjoy it. But well, now there's a new opening for some other young person to prove themselves.
DeleteWell we did have two "Diana"s leave the job in the last 6 months, that does suggest that there's something wrong with the recruitment process and that the company has wasted money paying someone who wasn't suitable for the job in the first place, training them up only to see them leave a few months later. That's not ideal, is it?
DeleteI very much enjoyed the Alvin Tan interview. He is so brilliant that he would have made it anywhere even if it were not the US of A.
ReplyDeleteI'm also wondering what the hell is wrong with Amos Yee. But as the trope goes you only value what you pay for. Whereas his asylum was all provided FOC from an ex-supporter, Alvin had to pay good money to find his own lawyer to fight his asylum application.
Now Amos has to return to SG to serve more time for NS evasion (and probably be forced to serve) whilst Alvin is living a very good middle class life in US of A, aka the American dream.
Oh Amos Yee is such a fucking idiot. Good grief. Don't get me started on Amos Yee. On the other hand, Alvin Tan is a good friend and I am glad to see him thriving in America.
DeleteI would really like for someone to interview him to find out what he was thinking. But unfortunately he will be in jail for a long time and once he comes out he would be old and irrelavant like all the old fogies who drink beer at coffeeshops and rant at the government.
DeleteKnowing Amos Yee, he is attention craving, that's why he gets into trouble because he wants the attention, he will provoke society till they notice him. So don't worry, he's not going to sit the coffee shop and complain - he's going to do something that will land him in jail in due course, because that's exactly what he wants. He doesn't seem to mind sacrificing his future or liberty as long as he gets attention now - that's extremely stupid of course, but that's just the way he is.
Delete