TAR S32 E2: Will you just read the clue?

Hola, que tal? In this episode, we see TAR return to to the South American country Colombia - TAR was last in Colombia quite recently in S28 E2 and E3 but they went to the city of Cartagena and not the capital Bogota. However, if you're a fan of TAR Latin America, then you would have seen Bogota featured in seasons 1, 2 and 5. It is a massive city with a population of 7.5 million in central Bogota but that number swells to 10.9 million once you encompass the sprawling suburbs - with that in mind, the only city in America bigger than Bogota (by population) is New York and it is one of the cities I would love to visit one day. But allow me to start with a tradition on my TAR reviews: the average rankings! Now that we have two episodes, I'm pleased to crunch the numbers and show you how these teams have performed thus far: 

Average rankings after leg 2 in Bogota

• Hung & Chee 1
• Riley & Maddison 3
• Michelle & Victoria 3.5
• Will & James 5
• Eswar & Arpana 5.5 
• DeAngelo & Gary 6
• Leo & Alana 6.5
• Jerry & Frank 7
• Kaylynn & Haley 8
• Kellie & LaVonne 9.5 (eliminated in Bogota) 

Why were the teams released all at the same time from Bogota airport?

If you've ever visited a South American country, you'll know that you would spend ages clearing customs and they are very strict with security (especially when it comes to inspecting your baggage). So it looks like the teams were all held in a waiting area until all the teams and the film crew have cleared passport control before they were allowed to dash out of the airport and jump into taxis. This is remarkably different from what it was like in earlier seasons, where teams would jostle to get seats closest to the exit of the plane, so as to be able to disembark first and the order which they leave the airport can depend on how lucky they are when it comes to which queue they join at passport control. I really don't like this - the fact is Hung & Chee did earn their first place in Tobago, yet they were part of the massive group of racers all leaving Bogota airport all at the same time with zero advantage whatsoever. In the past seasons, teams would depart in the order they arrived in - so the teams who were ahead would retain some kind of lead over the teams behind them. This is good news for the teams at the back of the pack in the last leg who suddenly find themselves on equal footing with Hung & Chee as they started this leg at Bogota airport - so clearly, Hung & Chee and the other teams who finished in the top half of the first leg have every reason to be upset with this new format! In the TAR China version, they do start each leg at the airport like that too, but teams are released in the order they arrived in the previous so at least the teams that did well in the previous leg do retain their advantage and it does feel more 'fair' like that. Nonetheless, Hung & Chee did not need this advantage as they stormed their way to another first place finish and this time, they were rewarded with a trip to Switzerland which hopefully they could enjoy when the borders open again and they can then go to Switzerland! 

Wait, what did Phil say about the thin air?

He said, "the thin air here could push some teams to be breaking point." Now that's an exaggeration. The city of Bogota sits at 2,640 meters (8,660 feet) above sea level - the Spanish had chosen this location to build and develop a city because there was already a thriving settlement there and more to the point, it had a cool and pleasant climate, similar to what the Spanish were more familiar with back in Spain. Bogota is very close to the Equator, if not for the high altitude, it would have a very hot and tropical climate. But can one get altitude sickness at 2,640 meters? No, that's the simple answer. No way. I've been to much, much higher to about 3,900 meters in Switzerland and never suffered altitude sickness - though the highest altitude I have skied at was 3,640 meters in Chile when I was in Valle Nevado and again, no problems there. I am aware I am just using anecdotal evidence based on my own experience. However, a man who is extremely fit and healthy will barely notice any difference in Bogota because even if the air is thinner than at sea level, he is strong enough to perform any physical task thrown at him under those conditions. Conversely, an older man who is very obese will struggle to perform those same tasks in Cartagena, which is at sea level - not because the air is thin (remember, we're literally on the beach here, at sea level) but because he is already unfit to begin with. Perhaps if they went to Everest base camp in Nepal which is at 5,364 meters then okay at that point it is high enough for the air to be significantly thinner and most people will experience some degree of altitude sickness. But Bogota? None of the teams seemed to be affected. At least it was not as bad as in TAR Australia S4  E5 when host Beau Ryan talked about altitude sickness in Ulaan Bataar in Mongolia which has an altitude of just 1,350 meters. At which point I just had to scream at the computer, seriously, do you know you sound like a total idiot who has no clue what the hell you're talking about? Altitude sickness at 1,350 meters? Are you serious?! Who wrote your script and why didn't they do any proper research?

So how did the teams perform in Bogota? 

I am a big fan of Hung & Chee but mind you, they didn't run a perfect leg: they were very lucky coming out of Bogota airport in being able to secure a fast taxi driver - that's completely random of course. They also took made the same mistake as they did in leg 1 in not reading the clue carefully enough and they barely finished the truck decoration task seconds before DeAngelo & Gary - that was enough to secure them first place in this leg. Mind you, DeAngelo & Gary made two mistakes in this leg: firstly, they chose not to yield Hung & Chee despite being in the lead and knowing how strong a team they were; secondly, they seemed rather slow in the truck decoration task - they got there before Hung & Chee and left after them. If they had yielded Hung & Chee, then they would have not only won this leg, but they would have also earned themselves that trip to Switzerland. Nonetheless, they rebounded from being so close to being eliminated in the first leg to nearly winning this leg, rebounding from second last to second in one leg - so they have certainly proven themselves to be a very worthy opponent in this race. But also look at Riley & Maddison - statistically, they are the second strongest team now with two very strong third place finishes so far, clearly if anyone is going to challenge Hung & Chee at this stage, it would be them. I am somewhat disappointed that Michelle & Victoria didn't do that well in this leg finishing only 5th, but to put things in context - they were unlucky in the taxi ride from the airport to the salt mine, thus consigning them to the second group that departed at 6:30 am the next day. They finished ahead of Will & James who were in the first team to depart at 6 am. So under those circumstances, finishing 5th is still a really brilliant result and that means that Michelle & Victoria are really a much stronger team than their average ranking would suggest. 

Did any of the teams speak any Spanish?

Having traveled a lot around Central and South America, I can tell you that being able to speak Spanish is definitely going to be extremely useful. Amongst the teams, I noted that LaVonne spoke Spanish fluently - she has Dominican ancestry and represented the Dominican Republic throughout her career as a hurdler. Allow me to explain: it's really tough being an American athlete as America is excellent is practically all sports, so if you have the option of representing another country because of your parents holding another nationality, then you do that in order to get to the Olympics representing that country instead of America. So did LaVonne's ability to speak Spanish help her in this leg? Not really, as they got the taxi driver from hell in Bogota. At least Riley & Maddison made some effort with their very limited repertoire of Spanish at the University, "Buenos dias señor, como esta? como esta? Para ti." (Good morning sir, how are you? For you.) I was like, okay, so someone remembers Spanish 101 from school and at least they are making a bit of an effort unlike the others. Chee knows a few words, at least enough to communicate with the taxi driver. But I noticed that Michelle & Victoria greeted the university professor with Bonjour - that's French, not Spanish. Ladies, seriously? It's bad enough that everyone else seems to only know how to say 'gracias' and 'por favor' but to throw in random French words? This is not really a particularly multi-lingual cast I'm afraid - I remember how veterans Bill & Joe (S1 and S11) were quite multilingual but no one is quite as multilingual as Sarah (of Terence & Sarah, S13). Still, poor Kellie & LaVonne were doomed from the start because of their terrible taxi driver - his phone died mid-journey, so they were unable to use technology to navigate their way around Bogota, leaving them trailing way behind all the other teams. LaVonne's fluent Spanish didn't seem to help in this case, even if she was one of those racers able to ask locals for directions in Spanish.  

Was this a well constructed leg? Would hardcore TAR fans be satisfied with this leg?

No, I was disappointed! Firstly, the outcome of the leg was pretty much determined by the taxi drivers the teams got at the airport - if you had a slow taxi driver, you would end up in the second group and that meant that the first group had a 30 minute lead over the second group, not because they somehow earned it by finishing a difficult task faster, but simply because they got lucky with the taxi driver. The Nemocon salt mine is very far from the airport, according to Google maps, it is a 74.2 km (46.1 miles) drive that would take about 90 minutes. Thus the teams can become separated and they would have little control over the process, they are completely dependent on their taxi drivers. So the five teams who were lucky enough to get there first to sign up for the 6 am departure are guaranteed that they won't be eliminated in this leg, whilst the team that will be eliminated would come from second group with the later departure - thus Kellie & LaVonne were just plain unlucky to have been in the second group because of their slower taxi driver. They finished connecting the horn to their truck just seconds after Jerry & Frank but that was enough to give Jerry & Frank enough of a buffer to get to the pit stop before them. I would have made this a lot fairer by making the hour glasses a lot harder to find in the salt mine (plenty of places to hide them in a salt mine that big!) - that would mean that the teams who got there first weren't guaranteed a place in the first group. This is why I got frustrated with the way the leg was constructed - too much of the outcome was dependent on taxi rides, first from the airport to the salt mine and then from the salt mine back into town when the production team knew they were definitely going to hit rush hour traffic going to central Bogota: that meant that luck played a huge factor in this leg because the teams were so dependent on their taxi drivers - even LaVonne's fluent Spanish couldn't help them when their taxi driver got hopelessly lost. I don't believe we should treat the production crew like the gods who are never to be questioned - us fans should be able to point out when a leg is poorly constructed. 

Oh please, the 'wheel of death'? That's not even the right name for it.

Furthermore, the circus roadblock was way too easy: Alana was the only racer who made a mistake, everyone else got through it fairly easily and left pretty much in the order they arrived at. You want to make a roadblock so difficult that it would seriously change the order of the teams - such as the steel pan challenge from E1 in Tobago. But in this case, teams pretty much left in the order they arrived in, which indicates a failure on the part of the production team who came up with this roadblock. And that 'wheel of death'? Oh please. It is known either as a gymnastics wheel or German wheel in English - nobody calls that the 'wheel of death'. I'd gladly let six year old kids mess around with that in my gym as it is that so safe. So I looked up the 'wheel of death' on Google and it refers to something else altogether (please see the Youtube video below) - now there are several versions of it but essentially it involves some massive rotating wheel contraption where the circus performers have to attempt difficult acrobatic skills in these wheels and if they mess up, yes then there is the risk of death. I don't know why the promise of "if this goes badly wrong, your circus show tonight will end with a funeral as our performer will die before your very eyes, who wants to see a real corpse tonight?" is somehow appealing but I guess that kind of thing might appeal to some people or perhaps the circus performers are deliberately choosing that kind of message as they worry that the ordinary audience member may not realize just how difficult their routines are and thus have to resort to such messages to make them appreciate the performance even more. But either way, oh please - that roadblock was way too easy. A super difficult roadblock would be the House of Dancing Water roadblock from TAR 27 E11 in Macau, where the racer had to dive 30 feet (9.14 meters) into a pool and then search for a clue underwater - it was so incredibly difficult and I remember how poor Diana (of Justin & Diana) struggled with the task.

What a pointless Yield. 

When I saw that there was going to be a Yield in this leg of the race, I thought, "no one is going to use it this early in the race as they're afraid of making enemies." Sure enough, I was right. As mentioned earlier, Gary & DeAngelo could have yielded Hung & Chee but they didn't because they thought they were in some kind of alliance with them and that proved to be costly in the end. I was hoping that the teams towards the end of the pack in the second group would use it but then again, they didn't. The whole point about putting something like the Yield and the U-turn in the race is to mix things up and make the whole race a bit more unpredictable - however, if teams refuse to use it then that becomes fairly pointless. If I was on the production team, I would put more pressure on teams to use the Yield by creating a rule like, "the team that wins this leg will win an awesome prize, but only if they have use the yield. If you come in first but you haven't yielded anyone, then the prize will go to the team that comes in second and if they haven't yielded anyone, then it will go to the team that came in third and so on until we get to a team that has used the yield." When you dangle some like the prize as an incentive, then teams would become a lot more willing to use the yield and then you get the twist in the race that you need to make it a bit more unpredictable. Even Kaylynn & Haley who got to the circus in 9th place could have used the yield to ensure that they would stay ahead of Kellie & LaVonne, but yet somehow they still chose not to use it even if it would have made sense to use it. Mind you, Phil did use the words, "this is the first opportunity" when describing the Yield - this does indicate that even if the teams don't use their hourglass now, there is still a chance to use it later; thus by that token, if they used their hourglass on this occasion then they would not be able to yield in the future.  

Who will win in the next leg in Amazon? Who will be eliminated? 

TAR US has visited Brazil six times already so far, but they usually opt for the big coastal cities like Rio de Janeiro and Sao Paulo - this is the first time they are visiting Manaus but again, like Bogota, this city has been visited in TAR Latin America and Brazil before. Obviously, with two wins under their belt, Hung & Chee would be an obvious choice to pick as a winner for this next leg, but given that there is a double U-turn in this coming leg, they have a massive target on their backs so unless they can get to the U-turn board before any of the other teams, the chances of them being U-turned is pretty high. I am guessing therefore that this would open the door for another team to win a leg: either Michelle & Victoria or Riley & Maddison are statistically the two other teams who are very strong. But I would also look out for Gary & DeAngelo who were so strong in Bogota - they have turned things around after a disastrous first leg. I always believe in putting aside any personal feelings I may have about the teams and simply looking at the statistics - remember it is not a popularity contest, it is a race: hence you can be very nasty and rude to all the other contestants but as long as you get to the pit stop first, that's all that matters in TAR. As for the weakest team to be eliminated next, Jerry & Frank and Kaylynn & Haley are statistically at the bottom of the pack - but that also means that they are unlikely to be the target of a U-turn. Frankly, I don't actually think that Kaylynn & Haley are a bad team at all - they were just very unlucky with their taxi drivers in Bogota and they did benefit from their alliance with Leo & Alana. With all that in mind, this makes the next leg very unpredictable: would the teams use the double U-turn to try to get rid of a very strong team like Hung & Chee or Michelle & Victoria? Or would most of the racers choose to avoid making enemies (again!), leaving the teams at the bottom of the pack to then use the double U-turn in a desperate attempt to try to stay in the game and avoid elimination? 

Okay guys - I have saved this bit to the last since it is more about me rather than this TAR episode but I have compiled this for those of you who are relatively new to my blog and here are some quick-fire Q&As about TAR just for you, okay?

Q: Have you ever thought about applying for the show? Would you like to apply for TAR? 

A: I would if I could but TAR US is strictly for American citizens who are resident in America - I am neither. I am a British citizen resident in London, that automatically makes me ineligible to even apply  and those are the rules. For the Australian version, you need to be an Australian citizen and likewise for the Canadian version and the Israeli version etc.

Q: Oh is there a British version of TAR or anything similar? 

A: The short answer is no. The closest thing we have is Race Across The World on BBC which ran for two seasons: I did apply for both but didn't get past the interview stage. I can see why I was rejected, the premise of the show was to put ORDINARY British people in an extraordinary situation like having to find their way across China or Central America - I can't stress on the word ORDINARY enough and allow me to translate that for you: that means monolingual. You see, most British people are hopelessly, disgracefully monolingual and expect the rest of the world to speak English. In season 1, they raced from London to Singapore overland, passing over all of Europe, central Asia, China, then down through South East Asia to Singapore. I speak French, German, Dutch, Italian, Russian, Mandarin Chinese and Malay pretty well and have been to most of the countries they had passed through, so that would have given me a massive advantage over the other teams who neither speak the local language or have ever set foot in that part of the world. For season 2, they raced from Mexico City to Ushuaia at the southern tip of Argentina - again, not only do I speak Spanish and Portuguese, I have traveled around Central and South America as well - it was a different kind of programme they were trying to make, they wanted to see a frustrated English woman cry in the middle of a small town in Brazil screaming, "does anybody speak English around here?!" So given that I speak 25 languages (7 of them fluently) and have traveled extensively over all continents (with the sole exception of Antarctica), yeah I can see why I was not picked for that programme. It was meant for monolingual folks who have barely ever left the country. I have done other reality TV programmes in the UK (both in English and Welsh languages). For now, I am currently focused on my career in banking.

Q: Wait, you speak Welsh? 

A: Ydy, dw i'm gallu siarad Cymraeg yn fawr iawn wyrth cwrs! I am British, it is one of our indigenous languages with official status. Only 1.5% of the population in the UK have some knowledge of Welsh and amongst them, probably no more than 0.3% are actually fluent. I am one of the 0.3% of British people who are proud to say that I am fluent in Welsh. 

Q: What is your day job? 

A: I am a distribution specialist in corporate finance. I am very lucky to be in an environment where I get to use my languages and before the Covid-19 pandemic happened, that meant being able to travel quite a lot as well with my job too. I also used to be an actor when I was a lot younger and had a full head of hair - but that was many, many years ago. 

Q: Aren't you really harsh on the racers when they make mistakes? 

A: Oh such as not reading their clue properly? You bet I am: many of the viewers are watching the programme and seeing these racers being made to do some pretty difficult challenges. It could be something scary like bungee jumping or handling snakes - oh I remember in Ukrainian TAR Великі Перегони S1 E2 the teams had to retrieve a clue from the bottom of a basket full of cobras whilst in Colombo, Sri Lanka. That's right, cobras - I think the producers were particularly evil and I would have absolutely terrified to do a challenge like that and most people would be scared of cobras! However, if I knew there was a massive cash prize of one million US dollars as an incentive, then yes I would overcome my fears and do whatever scary challenge they would throw at me. That's the key thing - the producers are not doing a fun travel programme where they fly these contestants to beautiful places and then give the winners a million dollars. No, you're expected to do some really difficult challenges along the way in order to earn that grand prize of a million dollars. If you are going to go through the whole process of applying to be on the race, going through the selection process and then finally getting selected, the natural thing to do would be to make sure you show up at the starting line prepared to give it your best shot rather than behave like you're on holiday, where you get to pick and choose what you want to do. Not only should a racer have the right attitude in order to win, but the racer ought to have done a lot of preparation: that is why when I see someone show up on the race somewhat unprepared, like they get asked to do something difficult and they start complaining - that's when I question the casting process. Surely the casting directors ought to brief the racers to give them a very good idea about what to expect on the race, so when they get asked to do a difficult challenge, it should come as no surprise at all. For a chance to win one million dollars like that, I'll do anything they throw at me - I can't promise I'll succeed, but I will definitely try my best because I would like to win a million dollars!

Q: What kind of preparation should a racer do for TAR? 

A: You must understand how the race works - that would involve watching every episode of TAR you can get your hands on, start with all the American past seasons, then move onto others in the English speaking world and that includes Australia, Canada, Asia and some of the early Chinese versions. The pan-Asian version is done entirely in English and the early versions in China called 'TAR China Rush' was actually done in two languages: English and Mandarin, so if a racer is speaking in Mandarin, English subtitles would appear and vice versa. Then once you've done all that, watch all the other international versions from Ukraine to Israel to Latin America to France - the better you understand the format of the race, the more unlikely you will make bad decisions when on the race and you'll be far better at anticipating what they might throw at you on the race. So if you're faced with something like an Intersection, you could use it to your strategic advantage rather than defaulting to pairing up with the next team that comes along. The race is so physically demanding, so plenty of jogging - learn to run for miles with your heavy backpack, do a lot of exercise to become extremely fit for the race. You can't expect to become fluent in a language in the short time between being cast for the race and the start of the race: but at least memorize useful phrases like "where is the train station" in the world's major languages like Spanish, French, German, Russian, Arabic, Hindi, Mandarin and Portuguese - I'm still shocked at how many monolingual racers there are on TAR and I just roll my eyes when they find out for the first time that not everyone in the world is able to speak to them in English. Also, learn how to drive a manual transmission car - I know most Americans drive automatic cars, but you could be given a car with gears on the race as we've seen in previous seasons. 

Q: What kind of advice would you give to someone on the race? 

A: Be nice and polite to everyone! Screaming angrily at your taxi driver to go faster doesn't help, but explaining to nicely and politely that you would really like him to go faster would make him far more likely to want to help you - after all, think about it: even if you do win a million dollars, are you going to give your taxi driver on the fifth leg a cut of your winnings? No, so you should in fact offer him a nice, big fat tip if he drives really quickly, because let's face it: your taxi driver honestly couldn't give a damn whether you win or get eliminated, but that tip you are dangling in front of him is real cash that he would love to get his hands on. Now that's called empathy 101 - you need to see the matter from the point of view of the taxi driver rather than expect him to see your point of view. Furthermore, be nice to your other racers - there is a saying, "keep your friends close and your enemies closer". Hardcore fans will remember how the famous U-turn vote in TAR S31 E8 ensured that Rachel & Elissa were finally eliminated because they failed to establish any kind of rapport with Chris & Bret throughout the race. That led to Chris & Bret voting to U-turn Rachel & Elissa and them getting eliminated eventually after having to do both sides of the detour. The other teams were smart enough to establish enough of a friendship with Chris & Bret to make it harder for Chris & Bret to U-turn them, so they chose to vote for Rachel & Elissa who have effectively snubbed the boys from the beginning. The social element of TAR is often ignored - this is not Survivor at the end of the day and thus the dynamics are quite different indeed, but even if you don't ultimately get to 'use' your bonds and friendships, you have nothing to lose by being nice to your other racers: you don't want to appear as a nasty bitch on reality TV as that'll be exactly what the viewers are going to think of you - long after the show is over! 

Q: Can I see some content from your travels around the world? 

A: Sure, please try my Instagram. I had originally started this new Instagram profile Passportalex to post my travel content, then the Covid-19 pandemic happened, the borders closed and it was virtually impossible to travel under current circumstances. So now the theme of the content is what I did on this day so many years ago - I didn't want to just post random pictures from trips I have done in the past, so I limit myself to posting what I have done on each calendar day in the past - hence you might see some really old photos of me looking much younger. So on the 18th October for example, I would only post photos from places I have visited on the 18th October in past years. So back on the 18th October last year, work took me to Belgium. Thus as I follow those rules: on some days I post a lot, some days I have nothing to post. 

Okay guys, that's it from me on this episode in Bogota. Please do leave a comment below and many thanks for reading.