Public speaking shouldn't be this hard: social skills 101

Bonjour et goedde middag, as you have seen from my Instagram, I am just back from a short trip to the beautiful city of Brussels in Belgium. I was attending a conference for the asset management community there and in the continuation of the current theme of social skills, I'm going to talk about public speaking since I was one of the speakers at the event. The thing about conferences and events like that is that the organizers often try to get the right speakers to address a range of issues, they are looking for people with the right expertise, experience and knowledge - but often, they neglect one very important facet which is whether or not you are any good at public speaking. I was told that I was one of the better speakers at the event (even though there were clearly two other guys who were absolutely brilliant), some of the speakers were mediocre and there was one who was absolutely dreadful - let's call him Imran (not his real name obviously). Just how awful was this guy? He read from a script and that was when everyone started looking down on their phones, he made no effort to connect with the audience. But to top it off, when the next speaker concluded his speech, Imran put his hand up and we thought he was going to ask a question, but instead he said, "Sorry, I forgot to mention something during my speech." He then went on to ramble on for another 3 minutes until the moderator had to cut him off, Imran was very upset about that and it was clear that he was totally oblivious to the fact that everyone in the room just wanted him to shut up fuck off.  So in this post, I shall give you my personal tips on the topic of public speaking.

1. Never ever use a script

Presentation and performance really matters - if you're unable to even get the attention of your audience, then your message is quite simply lost. The majority of the audience (like 95+%) were looking down on their phones during Imran's presentation so hardly anyone was listening to him because of his very poor delivery. You need to strive to capture at least 75% of your audience's attention and not loose more than 25% to their phones. The key reason why you need to ditch the script is because it is so important that you give your audience plenty of eye contact and your body language then becomes a lot more important. If you are simply reading from a script, then your eyes are glued to the page and that's when people think, "I really don't need to look at you as you are sitting very still, I only need to listen to you - this is just like listening to the radio." That's when people reach for their phones and you will lose your audience very quickly that way. I like have the radio on when I am cooking in the kitchen, I'm multi-tasking, I am sort of listening to the radio but I am also preparing food at the same time. Compare that to when I am watching a TV programme or a Youtube video, when I am unable to do anything else because my eyes are looking at the screen - I am far more focused in the latter compared to the former. Besides, reading from a script is dull - it also gives the audience the impression that you're unprepared, that you're not confident and you are nervous about delivering that speech even if the speech is beautifully scripted. It's like going to an expensive restaurant only for your main course to be served to you on a disposable paper plate and being presented with plastic forks, you would immediately get upset even if the food itself is actually quite tasty.

2. Memorize the bullet points of the speech, not every word

So if you have to prepare your speech, then start by breaking it down to say 5 to 10 bullet points and memorize those bullet points rather than every single word of the speech. So, to give you a simple example, here is a list of bullet points:

1. Introduction: what this speech is about
2. Definitions: explain to the audience what this issue is
3. History: what has happened led me to talk about this today
4. Case study 1: how things went wrong 
5. Case study 2: how they managed to rectify the problem
6. Mission: why this is an important issue today for you in the audience
7. Objective: Needs to done in the near future, what needs to change.
8. Conclusion: If I have one message for you to take away, this is it

Now with a structure as broad as this, I can apply this template to any speech from climate change to banking regulation to the way we teach children foreign languages. But in essence, each bullet point should be no more than a few words so you're really only memorizing 30 to 40 words, which is very manageable. We are more than capable of formulating a cogent sentence to present our facts without planning the exact words we have to say - we simply think of the spot and have enough confidence that we're capable of coming up with sentences that sound right and are grammatically correct. I would only memorize every single word if I had to deliver a speech in a language like German that I am not completely fluent in, because I would end up speaking very slowly and making a lot of pauses as I try to get the sentences right in German. But otherwise if I am speaking in English, I would never bother memorizing anything more than just bullet points for another important reason: it sounds far more natural. It makes the audience feel like you are having a conversation with them, rather than simply passively reading from a script - the difference is stark. When you feel engaged in a conversation, then you will listen more carefully because you feel very much more involved and the communication could be two way. Whereas if I the speaker is merely reading from a script (or even worse, a power point presentation), then again, then that stops feeling like a conversation pretty quickly and I become a passive observer, it almost then feels like I am listening to a recording or the radio and so I lose interest. Heck, even at the UN, public speaking can go quite awry. 

3. Speak as if there's something at stake

Let's look at Greta Thunberg and her famous 2019 'how dare you' speech - she is speaking very passionately because she feels so strongly that the future of the planet is at stake if we don't take drastic measures right now. In her mind, if she fails to convince the world leaders to change their ways - we are doomed as a species hence her urgency and passion. A key point about public speaking is that you want the audience to take away some key pieces of information and you have got to learn how to convey that information. Let me give you a simple example: when I got out of the Eurostar Terminal at St Pancras station yesterday evening, a lady asked me for directions. You may say, hang on a second, how can you compare that to giving a speech? But think about it: there are a few bus stops around the station, it can be confusing for the lady as she was a tourist. She told me where she was going, so I worked out which bus she needed, where her destination was and hence which bus stop she needed to get that bus. I had to convey the information accurately and succinctly to her because I didn't want her to get lost. Now compare that to Imran - now if he had some important piece of information to convey to me during his speech, it was completely lost on me because I was using the free WiFi at the venue to watch loads of gymnastics videos on my phone. Indeed, if you were to focus on the key pieces of information that you need to convey (such as which bus stop that lady needed to go to), then you will be far more successful in conveying your message to the audience because you feel that something is genuinely at stake here. For myself, I treat all public speaking opportunities as a sales pitch, it is an opportunity for me to sell myself, my company's products and services and if I mess up, I would not be able to make money: so I do have something at stake. 

4. Don't tell people stuff they already know! 

A common reason why the audience simply switches off and stops listening is because the speaker starts talking about stuff they already know - that's when they think, "I know this already, I don't need to hear it again." So if you're talking about a topical issue that many people are already familiar with, don't talk about stuff that's already common knowledge - instead go for depth rather than breadth:  pick something niche and unique and focus on that. This is because with a more niche angle, your audience are far more likely to be unfamiliar with the topic. Remember the speaker I mentioned earlier Imran? Well, he thought that the audience would be impressed with quantity - if he just kept speaking on and on and on about his topic, that we would be impressed that he knew so much about the subject but that's not how it works. We have Wikipedia and so many other sources of information online if I wanted to look up anything - you can never impress anyone by trying to show off how much you know about the topic, you're just going to come across as an autistic moron devoid of social skills. Instead, you cannot treat public speaking as an opportunity to tell the audience everything you know about the topic (ref: Imran) - no, instead, you want to leave your audience wanting more. You want them to either go on to do further reading on their own after you have made them more interested on the topic or they could also just come up to you to chat to you afterwards. So pick your content carefully: don't be condescending by teaching your audience the basics, never ever bore them by telling them stuff they already know and always leave them wanting more. 

5. Many people suck at public speaking but don't be like them.

I actually had a chat with my sister about my experience in Brussels and she commented that public speaking is a rare skill to have because many people suck at it, such as PAP politicians in Singapore. Let's use that as a case study: you see, if you're a PAP candidate in a safe seat then you are in a very comfortable position - it's not like you're going to lose the next election if you give a terrible speech or if you fart loudly mid-way through the speech. So people who are in that kind of position get complacent, they don't have any reason to try particularly hard and so they deliver terrible speeches - what then becomes worrying is if others see politicians sucking so badly at public speaking and they think, "well, if even the politicians suck at public speaking, then I don't have to try very hard, since the public are willing to accept such very low standards." That's a fallacy of course. Whilst there are some people who are in a position to suck at public speaking: a good example is a teacher, they can turn up at the classroom and give a terrible lesson, however the students have little choice but to pay attention and try to learn regardless of how awful the teacher is. If the students get bored and start looking at their mobile phones, then they are the ones who will get into trouble (rather than the teacher). However, for someone like myself, it's not like I have anything to lose by delivering a bad speech but I actually have a lot to gain by being a brilliant speaker at such an event - people came up to me after I spoke and wanted to get to know me, chat to me and see if they can do business with me. I wanted my trip to Brussels to be fruitful and hence I needed to be brilliant. 

6. The government official vs the salesman

One of the speakers at the event - let's call him Emil (not his real name) - was actually employed by the government of his country, I am not going to name the country here but essentially his government has set up this agency to promote inward investments into their country. That's a pretty nice job if I may say so! So Emil turned up with a power point presentation about why we should invest in his country but it was clear that he wasn't trying to sell us anything - so even if I said, "great, I want to invest $5 billion into your country's infrastructure projects after hearing your brilliant speech", he wouldn't even get any commission on that investment. Emil was just happy to be in Brussels for the first time, so he gave his rather boring presentation and then left - presumably to go sightseeing and eat some waffles and chocolates in the middle of Brussels. There's so much for tourists to see and do in Brussels! Whereas there was one other guy - let's call him Patrick (not his real name) - he ran a consultancy and was clearly trying to get the delegates at the event to use his services (which don't come cheap, of course). Thus like me, he was a salesman at the event trying to drum up business and he was in sales mode. There was clearly an opportunity cost for Patrick to leave his office in the UK to come to an event like this in Brussels for networking, he could have spent the day in his office being very productive but instead he had spent the time and money to come to Belgium and thus he wanted to make it a very fruitful decision. Whereas for someone like Emil, having to give that speak was just something he had to do before he could go sightseeing and shopping. Their motivation was very different - Patrick spoke with passion whilst I felt asleep during Emil's presentation. 

7. Look the part - what do your audience want to see? 

I am shocked that some people simply don't make the effort to dress the part when doing public speaking: they wear what they want or what is available to them. I can't give specific details about what I saw in Brussels just in case someone works out whom I am talking about, but this speaker actually turned up in something that wasn't appropriate for the occasion. I suspect that this may have something to do with the fact that he is rather overweight, so he may be wearing the only thing that still fits him. But that was the first thing that I noticed and I thought, oh dear - this isn't a good start at all because we're at a conference full of investment bankers, tax advisors and lawyers - almost everyone is very well dressed. That was the first impression he gave me and it wasn't a good start: he was a pretty decent public speaker and I was interested in what he had to say, but you really don't want to start your speech on the wrong note by giving people a bad impression before you have even opened your mouth to say hello. I work in sales and I have to deliver sales pitches all the time - even I get nervous when delivering a sales pitch or doing public speaking: it usually takes me a few minutes to settle down and relax before I can actually focus on what I am doing because getting nervous is totally normal under such circumstances. I am speaking to a big audience, I want them to listen to me, I want them to like me, I want them to think that I am clever and I would not want them to have a poor impression of me. So I would usually check myself in the mirror just before getting on stage and I usually spend quite a while deciding on my wardrobe choices - this would primarily be based on what my audience would expect me to wear and what kind of message I want to send. Giving the audience a great first impression is very important because you'll be amazed how judgmental people can be. 

8. Avoid meaningless additions to your sentences

It is necessary to keep your sentences short and sweet for effective communication - so it is vital that you avoid adding words like 'you know' and 'umm' to your sentences. The people who do this are often not aware of the fact that they are doing it - the reason why people do this is because they are struggling to express a thought or idea, so they say these meaningless words out aloud instead of just pausing mid-sentence because they don't know what to say. It makes you sound totally inarticulate - eloquent people who know exactly what they want to say would never use such unnecessary words in their sentences. There was this speaker at the event who was taken by surprised when someone questioned her about one of the case studies she used in her speech and her inarticulate, rambling answer sounded like this, "well, you know - uh, that's a good question and yeah, like, even though the figures I presented may have been, like, maybe two or three years out of date but uh, you know, essentially the situation has been much the same between then and now and anyway, you know, it is not uh like, the situation has somehow changed that much between like 2016 and now. So, yeah like, I'm sure, you know, we can get hold of more up to date data to show that and uh, you know what I mean." You could tell that she really didn't quite know how to react to the question and she wasn't even convinced that the audience would believe her explanation. She was floundering, she didn't know what to say and thus it was really a stream of incoherent words because she felt compelled to answer the question when put on the spot. She couldn't just say, "I'm sorry, I can't answer that. Anyone else has any other easier questions? Can someone ask me a question I can answer?" 

9. The fine art of replying without answering the question

After you do any kind of public speaking, there's often a Q&A session and I did see one of the speakers struggle when challenged. Of course we can never ever have all the right answers to the questions since we can't predict what kind of questions the audience would ask us, but let me share with you a tactic I used when I was put in a similar position. A member of the audience asked me a question about the behaviour of investors in China - I couldn't answer that question because I have barely ever dealt with that market before! My clients in Asia are in other countries like Hong Kong, Taiwan, Singapore, Malaysia, Philippines, Thailand and Singapore but I don't actually have any clients in China. So instead of admitting, "I don't know enough the Chinese market to answer that question", I talked about what I wanted to talk about instead without actually telling that man I wasn't going to answer his question. So I started out talking about the obsession in the West about the might of the Chinese economy then comparing China to other markets in Asia and the challenges faced by companies trying to do business in China. I made some very interesting points, used a case study that I had prepared and another member of the audience asked me a question about the case study I used. By then, the conversation had moved on and I was hoping that this man wouldn't stand up and say, "that's all very interesting Alex but you didn't answer my question at all, so I am going to ask you again." No, I spoke confidently with a big smile on my face about the investing in the Asian market but I simply steered the conversation away from a question I couldn't answer. A lot of politicians actually do that in interviews when asked a question they either cannot answer or don't want to answer. 

10. Get feedback from ordinary, everyday conversations

You can treat everyday conversations as training for the day when you have to address a huge audience - it really doesn't matter whether you're talking to two friends or two thousand people, these principles of public speaking that I have discussed above apply all the same. The thing is that even though I thought that Imran was one of the worst public speakers I had ever come across, I didn't take it upon myself to go up to him and criticize him. No, I decided to be nice and not say anything - I didn't want to risk offending or upsetting another guest at the event, thus it was far easier just to ignore someone like Imran. Thus people like him continue to be totally oblivious of their own faults. What would I achieve by telling Imran how awful he was? Was I prepared to spend time with him to help him become a better speaker? Hell no, actually I'll probably never ever see him again - hence this is his problem, not mine. Thus if Imran goes through life with everyone pretty much reacting like me, how is he ever going to improve his public speaking? Therefore you should ask your colleagues, friends and family to be harsh with you in your everyday conversations, whether it is a staff meeting at work or just a Sunday lunch with the family - always ask for brutally honest feedback after every conversation and be prepared to listen even if the feedback is harsh. Public speaking is hard - it's not something you can teach yourself and thus getting honest feedback from your audience and even coaching from someone who is an expert is vital to becoming a better speaker. Be humble enough to ask for help - if you know someone whom you consider articulate and eloquent, ask them to listen to you tell and story then have them give you honest feedback about areas where you could improve. 

So there you go, that's it from me on the topic of public speaking - what do you think? What are your tips when it comes to public speaking? Why do some people (like Imran) get away with being awful at public speaking? If you met someone like Imran, would you go up to him and tell him, "you suck, your speech this morning was so fucking awful, everyone hated every moment of it - you failed spectacularly" or would you be nice and say nothing? Why do so many people suck at public speaking - is this a reflection of the low levels of social skills in general even amongst people who are supposedly well educated? Or do you think that public speaking should be treated like driving - as long as you take some lessons and are given the right amount of guidance and practice, then you should be able to master it, thus the problems only occur when people totally underestimate how difficult it is? Do you enjoy public speaking or is it something you fear? Are there any aspects about public speaking that scare you? I didn't get to talk specifically about Brussels in this post, but I just wanted to finish by saying that it is a totally charming, beautiful city that doesn't attract as many tourists as other cities like Paris and Amsterdam - it is so underrated and it was a pleasure to visit again. If you are planning a trip to Europe, then do try to include Brussels in your schedule. Leave a comment below please and many thanks for reading!