Cassandra vs Prentice on the issue of Singapore: Limpeh's POV.

Recently two blog posts have gone viral - one criticizing Singapore as one of the most boring places in the world and the other in praise of Singapore, both written by white expatriates in the region. Given that I have worked in Singapore as an Ang Mo Kio-born British expatriate myself back in 2011 (get your head around that, yeah - hence the title of my blog), I would like to respond to both posts as I feel that both bloggers are rather extreme in their views and the truth lies somewhere in between the two. Given that both bloggers actually summarized their pieces in 5 bullet points, this makes it very easy for me to respond to them. Let's start with Cassandra Jones' piece on why Singapore is best avoided.

1. Singapore is the world's most boring country.
Verdict: Not true.

Now this is not true - Singapore is geographically small but from the point of view of a tourist, there is plenty to see and do if you are after fun. Yes Cassandra is comparing Singapore to the more exotic locations in Asia, where there is vibrant street life to more spontaneous explosions of culture - Singapore is different from Bangkok or Hanoi but is it boring? I beg to differ, it isn't. Singapore is a vibrant, cosmopolitan city with so much to offer.

Is Singapore boring? 

Anyone who has ever tried to cross the street in Hanoi during rush hour will tell you just how chaotic it is - yes it may be exotic I suppose to those of you seeking something different, but it makes you appreciate the way you don't need to dodge hundreds of mopeds just to cross the street in Singapore. Likewise, if you have ever had food poisoning in somewhere like Jakarta, you will appreciate the way you don't really need to worry if the food is clean when you visit a hawker centre in Singapore. And have you ever tried shopping in Shanghai and had to deal with an aggressive sales person who is trying to push a sale on you? I am not saying that this doesn't happen in Singapore (well, I look like a local in Singapore), but I love the way I am left to browse in peace in a Singaporean shop.

The fact is Singapore is a highly sanitized form of Asia with the dirt and the grime scrubbed out - Cassandra may find that boring but I actually like Singapore for that! Has Cassandra ever walked around Ang Mo Kio town centre on a Saturday night? It is buzzing and lively and there is plenty to keep me entertained without worrying too much about food poisoning, crime or getting run over. If you're after a sense of danger and if you want to be scared Cassandra, try going to Wild Wild Wet and there are enough water slides there to scare the wits out of you I promise.

Cassandra isn't impressed by all this. 

I remember once when I was travelling in Hanoi and my travelling companion (a white guy) and I took a wrong turn and found ourselves in this quiet street and suddenly I had that, "we shouldn't be here" feeling. We seem to have interrupted a 'meeting' that was taking place in that alley - maybe a drug deal? This young-ish gangster (he looked about 15 at most) came up to me, I'd never forget the swagger in his walk and he blew smoke from his cigarette in my face. I didn't flinch - I was shitting myself on the inside but I put up a brave front and looked at him in a way which told him that I wasn't afraid of him but I didn't want trouble either. He said something to me in Vietnamese which I totally didn't understand (my Vietnamese is very limited) - I just nodded and smiled and said to my companion in English, "We have to go, now." I didn't want to try speaking Vietnamese with them and let them know that I am a foreigner - I thought if I say as little as possible there was at least a very slim chance they may think that I am a local rather than a dumb tourist.

I then noticed that a few other thugs had emerged from the shadows deeper down the alley and I knew that we only had to go back about 15 to 20 metres back down the way we came before we got back to the main road which was very busy. This young thug then produced a shiny knife from his pocket and I just ran for my life. I figured I had a chance to outrun this young guy and I didn't want to stay to fight him or get robbed. When we got to the main road, I spotted a gap in the traffic and sprinted across the road with my companion. By the time the young thug and his friends got to the main street, the lights had changed and a lot of traffic came charging down the road. I didn't take my chances, we ran and ran for another 10 minutes until we were absolutely sure we had lost them.

Oh I had my share of fun in Vietnam...

Yeah if you're after adventure, go to Hanoi. I lived to tell that tale and looking back, it sounds like a scene out of a movie but quite frankly, I'm not that keen for this kind of adventure, thank you very much. I suppose Cassandra would've enjoyed being chased through the streets of Bangkok or Hanoi by a bunch of drug dealers and gangsters, much like a sequence out of the Thai action movie Ong Bak. I say, I'd gladly leave those action sequences to Tony Jaa. Not my idea of fun. Singapore is safe, it is definitely not boring.

If you wanna talk about the world's most boring country, Liechtenstein gets my vote. Vaduz the capital is a one horse town and there's far less to see and do there. I visited there recently and you can read my piece on Liechtenstein here.

2. Singapore is expensive. 
Verdict: Not totally true...

Like any big city, there are options catering for all budgets. Let's take accommodation for example, you could get a suite at Marina Bay Sands or you could get a bunk bed at a backpacker's lodge and there's everything in between. You could go to one of the more expensive restaurants in town and blow a small fortune on a dinner, or you could go to a hawker centre and spend less than $5 for a humble yet delicious meal. Singapore is an affluent city with loads of rich people, especially when you compare it to somewhere like Manila or Jakarta - but there are still options for the budget traveller.

Food is good and very cheap in Singapore.

Mind you, if you wanted to travel in style in places like Jakarta or Manila, the prices of their very best hotels and restaurants are on par with Singapore.  It is a false economy to think that such places are always cheaper.I have had the chance to enjoy the street food experience - sitting on a little plastic chair whilst breathing in the exhaust fumes from the traffic on the busy street before me. Yes it was different, yes it was exotic - even fun, but there is more to travelling than simply picking the cheapest option. Whilst I always believe in going local, to eat what the locals eat - but it does get to the point when you think, you know, there are rich locals too in Hanoi, I can eat like them and not the very poorest...

3. Everything in Singapore is regulated.
Verdict: True but...

Oh I can't argue with that - it is completely true, but is it a bad thing? It is a double edged sword. The crime rate is low as a result of this kind of regulation and if you are a visitor, then you need to be aware of what the local rules are and obey them. As someone who has worked in the Middle East, I am always appalled at the way stupid foreigners (Asian and white people alike) are oblivious to the rules and regulations in somewhere like Saudi Arabia or the United Arab Emirates and then they get themselves into trouble with the law for behaving like that would in their home country. Duh. You're not in your country - you follow their rules. If you don't like those rules, go somewhere else.

A photo from the time I lived in Dubai - outdoor diving in January!

Is the situation in Singapore perfect? No, it isn't - but Cassandra has discredited herself by getting her facts wrong. Getting caned for chewing up? That's bullshit - it is perfectly legal to consume chewing gum in Singapore, it is the issue of littering and the disposal of any kind of waste (including chewing gum) that is an issue. There has been a long debate about the legal status of gay sex in Singapore - but kissing another gay man? Oh please, we're not in Iran or Saudi Arabia here - there is in fact a thriving gay scene in Singapore and the local gays do a lot more than kiss I can tell you that. So Cassandra, kindly get your facts right if you want to be a credible writer.

4. Singaporean culture is conformist.
Verdict: 100% True

I can't argue with that. Take the Sticker Lady episode for example - the Singaporean arts scene is struggling and strangled as a result of this. It is a problem indeed for both locals and visitors alike.

5. Singapore is one of the world's most censored countries.
Verdict: This is true, yes.

Again, I can't argue with that. The only thing I can say is that there are other countries that also experience a high level of censorship, but two wrongs don't make a right.

Overall verdict for accuracy of Cassandra Jones' article: 3.5 out of 5 - I found her article somewhat biased and it really pandered to those who don't already like Singapore and don't actually know much about Singapore. Those who live in Singapore or know Singapore well will be able to punch holes in her argument when she gets her facts wrong. I am deeply disappointed in Yahoo for having published an article by a contributor who doesn't even check her facts - which is a shame really, because her article is not total rubbish, in fact 3.5 out of 5 points are actually accurate. That just isn't good enough, surely you can do better than that Cassandra. Now, onto Prentice Matthew's article.

1. Singapore isn't boring, you are.
Verdict: True

What makes Singapore interesting is the people - there are 5.3 million people in this city and with that many people, you're bound to find a community who share the same interests as you whether you're into the World of Warcraft, cheerleading, gymnastics, K-pop, French literature, Bikram Yoga or more kinky adult fetish interests, you will be able to find like-minded individuals in a city this big. Think about someone living in a small village in Greenland who is probably the only guy in his village into K-pop and how isolated he feels, when the only other people into K-pop he knows are on the internet. Like Prentice said, you will be able to do anything you want which isn't illegal and in a city this big, it is easy to find like-minded individuals no matter what your interests are amongst the 5.3 million inhabitants of this big city.

2. Singapore is expensive - and you get what you pay for.

Verdict: True

I have already dealt with this topic earlier - so moving on...

3. The women are ridiculously hot.

Verdict: No, not true. 

This is wrong on so many levels. Now firstly, in any city - you will get a range of women from the very attractive to the most ugly. This is true anywhere you go to: Beijing, Boston, Bangkok, Birmingham, Berlin or Bishan. Why? Such is the random nature of human reproduction - some people are born with certain features deemed attractive, others are not. Being in a certain city doesn't mean you're genetically predisposed to having features deemed beautiful by society. Oh and the same applies to men too, of course. How can you make such a ridiculous assumption Prentice? 

Do all Singaporean women conform to this image? 

This is quite different from say a comment on the cultural factors which we may have some control over - so for example, I can say that Korean men tend to dress quite well. This is a choice Korean men have, what clothes to buy and how they dress. What they don't have control over is whether they are born with features like those gorgeous K-pop idols which would render them 'hot' or 'attractive'. So it would be illogical to make a statement like "Korean men are hot" but it is perfectly acceptable to say, "Korean men tend to dress well and are quite stylish". 

Besides, Singaporeans are a mix of different ethnicities: Chinese, Malays, Indonesians, Indians and now increasingly, Thais, Vietnamese, Filipinos and others from far and wide - it is not like we have a unique gene pool that makes us distinctly different from say our Malaysian neighbours. Like some Singaporeans, I am ethnically mixed. By that token, it makes us no more or less attractive than our ASEAN neighbours - unless you want to talk about fashion sense (which to be fair, Prentice did mention in his piece, "women here are so nicely presented") then that's a different point altogether. Even ugly women can have good taste in fashion, but that's not the point that Prentice made - he claimed that Singaporean women are not just hot, but ridiculously hot - which I find ridiculous. I grew up in Singapore and have met my fair share of Singaporean women (and men) who weren't remotely hot. 

Oh yeah like she is a ridiculously hot Singaporean woman too? LOL.

There is this line which really got me shouting "bloody stupid goondu angmoh" at my computer when I read it. Prentice wrote, (Singaporean women) "speak a delightful language known as “Singlish”, a charming mash up of Singaporean and English". Cue palm to forehead. Let me explain this for those of you who are not already wincing in agony. There is no such language as "Singaporean" - Singlish is a blend of English with Mandarin, Hokkien, Cantonese, Malay, Tamil and other Asian languages. You mean to tell me that Prentice has been in Singapore for all this time (over a year) and like a dumb angmoh, he thought that the locals were speaking 'Singaporean' instead of a range of different Asian languages.

Oh for fuck's sake, he is such a fucking stupid moron. How do you live in a country for a year and not know what languages they are speaking there?! He actually thinks you guys are speaking "Singaporean" a language which doesn't exist. Besides, is a woman speaking Singlish sexy? Check out this ridiculously hot Singaporean auntie then, Prentice should track her down for I am sure she is one hot mama, the hottest chio bu of all Singaporean aunties.

4. Singapore is strict and has the lowest crime rate in the world.

Verdict: True

Again, I can't argue with that. 

5. Singapore is fantastic for business.

Verdict: Not necessarily true.

I had a really difficult time dealing with the Monetary Authority of Singapore when I was working in Singapore, dealing with the amount of red tape and bureaucracy they threw at me. It was so frustrating dealing with them I basically told my boss then to pull the plug on Singaporean distribution and focus on the Thai market instead. Besides, Singapore isn't any more or less business-friendly when compared to places like Bangkok, Kuala Lumpur or Hong Kong - it is about the same.

Singapore isn't any more or less business friendly than other Asian cities. 

The fact that Singapore is an English speaking country is over-rated - many other countries are happy to deal with you in the English language as well. Take somewhere like Sweden for example - virtually all Swedes speak English flawlessly because English is taught as a second language from a very young age and the standard of English in Sweden is actually far higher than in Singapore. Not all Singaporeans are actually fluent in English.

In any case, I have worked in countries where English is not the primary language and some of us do speak more than one language you know. Prentice sounds like a monolingual Australian who is incapable of speaking a second language - tut tut. Not everyone is as limited in our linguistic abilities, the thought of working in a non-English speaking country does not faze us at all because we can speak a couple of other languages and are not afraid to learn a new language.

Singaporeans' ability to speak English is over rated for other countries do speak English too today. 

At this stage, Prentice had the chance to win the argument but he chose to cheapen his argument with constant references to scantily clad local women, who was he trying to appeal to? Other humsub angmoh men who go to Pattaya to leer at Asian women young enough to be their grandchildren? Gross. Maybe Prentice thought he was funny but Limpeh was not amused and I am sure many Singaporean women do not appreciate his sexist attitude. 

I would say this in praise of Singaporean women though - they are well educated and successful and lead the way in feminism in Asia. Singaporeans women are a lot more articulate and confident in the world of business and do not need to resort to the usual SPG antics that one would encounter elsewhere in Asia from Bangkok to Shanghai to Bali where they latch themselves onto the richer white man for financial gain. In Singapore, they have a chance to make their own money as a result of the opportunities they have in Singapore - this makes Singaporean women very different from their counterparts elsewhere in Asia. This doesn't happen in rich Asian countries like Hong Kong, South Korea, Japan and Taiwan as well. 

Do Singaporean women still see rich white men as a meal ticket? 

Overall verdict for accuracy of Prentice Matthew's article: 3.5/5 

Guess what? It is a tie between Cassandra and Prentice - neither article are totally accurate, both are riddled with faults and I cannot pick one article that is better than the other. They are both awful. Cassandra doesn't know enough about Singapore to write about Singapore and Prentice is a sexist humsub loh who leers at scantily clad Asian women in public. Gross.

But do you know what pisses me off the most? It is the stupid Singaporeans who are happily applauding Prentice's stupid and shallow article without considering just how poorly written it is. Good blood grief. You Singaporeans need to develop a sense of self respect for crying out aloud. You don't need to react every time some stupid, misinformed, idiotic Angmoh writes something about Singapore. If the Angmoh writes a good article, then by all means share it on social media and let's have a discussion. But in this case, both articles were really poorly written - so it baffles me why Singaporeans actually bothered talking about them rather than simply ignoring them? Don't give them the attention they crave. They can't even get their facts right - why should they deserve your attention?

So listen up you Singaporeans - please be more critical when evaluating the blog posts that are written by these Angmohs about Singapore. If you want to write an article about Singapore with 5 points, I expect 5 out of 5 points to be factually correct and accurate. 3.5 out of 5 is just not good enough - do your homework and verify your facts before you publish your article. It was fucking pathetic the way some Singaporeans were praising Prentice's article whilst ignoring the blatant sexist way he was objectifying Singaporean women. And Singaporean women, please I am especially keen to hear from you - I want you to know what you think about white expatriates like Prentice in Singapore. I look forward to hearing from you on the issue, kindly leave a comment below - many thanks for reading.