Week 4 in Theatreland

There was something I had observed this week in the play. There seems to be two kinds of people in the fact of a problem - there are those who get worked up, angry and want to blame someone, shout at someone and scold the person at fault. There's another group who simply shrug their shoulders and say, "never mind". I'm afraid I was the former - whilst I had observed that those who are the latter tend to be the easygoing ones who are less stressed out when we encounter problems.

In the world of finance, I am quite used to working solo - I am given a project with detailed instructions. I then simply work on it until it is done and submit the finished product to my boss. That is how I am used to working and that is what I prefer - however, I am well and truly taken out of my comfort zone in the world of theatre where nobody works alone, you're always a part of a team, depending on your colleagues for so many things and ooh boy, I do feel like a fish out of water in such an environment admittedly.

I do feel like Klaus at times!

Allow me to summarize what happened last night in a nutshell - some idiot did something really stupid which truly irked a number of us, but only I took it upon myself to scold him for his stupidity. The rest of the team simply kept quiet despite knowing exactly what had happened. The idiot who made the mistake acted as if he was confused and didn't know what was going on - so he effectively got away with his mistake since I was the only one who was willing to berate him for his error. Even the stage manager who was present just said to me later, "never mind, it's no big deal."

For a moment, I got so angry that no one was taking my side - yes I get it, they're easy going people who are just as likely to be lenient with me if I had been the one who had made a mistake (and yes I have made my share of mistakes), but for a moment, I felt very isolated as I was the only one berating that idiot (aka Calvo, from an earlier episode) for having made his stupid, careless mistake. I don't know if it is a cultural thing for Europeans to be more easy going for I could imagine that my friends back in Singapore would have probably reacted in the same way as I did. (You tell me.)

Why was I the only one willing to berate Calvo?

In any case, seeing that no one else was on my side, I bit my tongue and stormed off in a huff, in a public display of displeasure. I suppose you could call it a tantrum of sorts. I then kept quiet about the incident and didn't mention it for the rest of the evening after I had calmed down. At the end of the show, I turned my mobile back on and checked my email - a celebrity friend of mine (details soon) had asked me if I was interested to take part in his latest project and I was jumping for joy in the dressing room. This was someone I had worked with in 2011 and we stayed in touch - he became really famous in 2012 where he broke into the American market big time (a feat not accomplished by many British acts). To be invited to be a part of his next project is a big honour and this kind of endorsement by someone who has made it in the industry meant a lot to me.

Needless to say, as I was in the dressing room, my colleagues were like, "hey what's happening? What's the good news?" And everyone was so happy for me, including the idiot from earlier who said to me, "Congratulations, that sounds amazing." I wondered how many of them were genuinely happy for me and how many were secretly jealous - but it didn't matter, it was my moment of glory and I enjoyed it so much.

Limpeh is no stranger to showbiz. 

It was at that moment when I looked at that idiot and smiled, I simply said, "Thank you, thank you very much." But in my mind I was thinking, "I've seen your CV, you've not even done a quarter of the things I've done despite the fact that you're older than me. You're pathetic, no wonder you screwed up even such a simple task today. I feel sorry for you. What I am going to go on to do is going to be so amazing that this show is going to be insignificant compared to it - so by that token, your mistakes today don't matter because you don't matter. It doesn't matter what you do, what you try or what you end up doing, you don't matter so by that token, I am going to ignore your mistake tonight rather than actually care about what you do. It was my mistake to actually take an interest in your mistake in the first place because you're so insignificant. Now go away, I'm too busy being fabulous to bother with you."

Well that was last night. This idiot was being stupid again tonight - in the dressing room, I paid my buddy Ken a compliment on how strong his performance was tonight. Ken, being gracious, returned the compliment to me and we both talked about how good the show was tonight. The idiot, feeling left out, told us that the show was a group effort and we should be talking about the team doing well, rather than picking out individuals who have done well. I just gave him this look of pity like, "I know what's going on here, you feel left out as Ken and I are praising each other and ignoring you but I am not going to pay you a compliment if you're going to be such a bitch about it, so tough." The moment Ken and I stepped outside the room and Ken said to me, "What the hell is his problem?" I just laughed as I couldn't even begin to explain what was wrong with that idiot.

Some people are just impossible to deal with. 

Okay, I just realized what I have written above does make me sound like a bit of a diva, but then again, I didn't say anything bitchy to anyone. I'm merely sharing my internal monologue with you here - after all, sometimes we have to make sense of the world. Let me give you an example. Earlier today, as I was leaving my block, I crossed paths with my neighbour. I say, "hi" and gave him a smile - he ignored me. I thought, what a rude bastard you are, you pathetic loser. I know what you do for a living and your job quite frankly sucks compared to what I do. You should be grateful that someone as fabulous as Limpeh would even bother to say hello to you.

I think it's good to feel special, to remind yourself why you're better than the little people in life who act like idiots or rude bastards. Dear readers, think about all the wonderful things you've achieved in your life and always remember those things with pride - the next time some idiot tries to make you feel small, draw on that pride and simply rise above them. You can even be a diva in your head about it when you remind yourself just how much better you are compared to them - as long as you do not allow the bastards to get you down.

Be good to yourselves please, always be your own best friend.

PS. I wrote this piece before our Saturday night show when Calvo did something incredibly stupid - he was in a foul mood last night. He broke out of character on stage and swore at a fellow cast member as he accused her of trying to sabotage his scene. It was unreal - this fellow cast member (a German actress) is such a serious, dedicated performer and for him to accuse of something like that is already demonstrating how delusional he is. For him to scold her for something like that using such vulgar language - I can't even count how many lines he has crossed and to do that on stage in front of the audience? Where do I even begin? I was nearby when it happened - I reported it to the assistant director and stage manager and as tempting as it was to defend my German friend and confront Calvo, I realize I couldn't resolve anything. Let the stage manager and the assistant director or the director deal with it - it's not my job to try to solve problems like that, I'm not paid enough to do so.

I did see them having a heated argument backstage after the show and two others (a Portuguese actress and a member of the crew) was trying to stop them from shouting at each other - I got involved and took the German's side but it was pointless. When two people are shouting at each other like that, well, nobody is being rational and the only thing to do is to try to get them to calm down. I spoke to that Portuguese actress later and she said, "You know what? None of this is worth it, how many weeks do we have left for this show? Why can't we just all get along without all these arguments? I don't like blaming people for things that have gone wrong, I want to find solutions for us to be able to work together so we can finish this run for this show. What do you gain by blaming people? Why this obsession with blame?"

Wise words my friends, wise words.