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| How do you define social class in modern Singapore? |
One thing I want to explain today is that class isn't the same thing has having money - although the link between wealth and class is complex. The classic example I would use is the ugly PRC-Chinese tourist (ie. from mainland China, as opposed to from say Singapore, Malaysia, Taiwan or HK) who clearly has a lot of money but doesn't have the basic social graces and ends up doing something embarrassing like urinating in a very public place. That is perhaps a rather extreme example, but sometimes an extreme example is useful to illustrate points like that. So you see, social class is more than about what your bank balance is, whether you are rich or poor, but which segment of society you belong to. This is not something you can define for yourself: I can claim to be as fine as royalty if that's how I wish to define myself, but that definition is simply not a reasonable nor valid one since I clearly do not have much in common with the royal family. The BBC did a very interesting study about this topic back in 2013 with the BBC Great Class Calculator where it asked respondents a series of questions which would then decide which of seven social classes you belonged to. I didn't quite like that calculator for two reasons: it was too brief, I thought they didn't go into enough detail with the questions and that there just too few classes - surely you can't reduce the complexity of our society into just seven classes today?
Having wealth is a start, but what you do with that wealth is what defines your social class - allow me to explain. In the UK where we have been obsessed with defining people by their social class for centuries, we would ask innocent sounding questions to try to identify patterns in your social life to determine what social class you belong to. What do you do for leisure? What kind of education did you have? Do you have access to expensive luxurious activities like golf or skiing? Do you spend your money accessing high culture or mass entertainment - say you have £2000 to spend on a weekend, do you go to get best seats for the opera or go watch a football match? Your choice of going high or low brow would probably be determined by what your peers would think of your choice - so you see, it goes way beyond simply doing stuff that makes you happy with your money, it has got a lot more to do with whom you're trying to identify with. Let's not even pretend that everyone is equal, but I don't think equality is the issue here: we're all extremely different, unique individuals and we naturally seek to form meaningful relationships with people whom we identify with. Now this could be pretty much determined by your parents and upbringing, or it could turn out to be the complete opposite: a big hurrah for social mobility. We're all different of course, that much we can agree on but let's look at how we are different.
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| Even if you have money, how do you choose to spend it? |
Thus on that basis, I am going to offer Limpeh's Singapore 2018 class survey which is pretty much based on the 2013 BBC Great Class Calculator. The problem with the NUS survey is that it only makes comparisons within Singapore - such as comparing those who went to elite schools to those who haven't. In 2018, you need to look at this on a more global scale: you can't put someone who went to Harvard in the same category as someone who went to NUS - they clearly belong in two different categories even if they did go to the same secondary school. And of course we're far more likely to have friends from the same social class, then say someone of the same ethnicity, religion or nationality. This is all meant to offend most of you Singaporeans who think they are very atas when really, they are at best struggling middle class or just plain plebs. So if you have a very thick skin and are ready to be insulted, here are my 20 questions for you:
Your financial situation
What is your personal income in the last financial year?
A) Under $20,000
B) Between $20,000 to $40,000
C) Between $40,000 to $80,000
D) Between $80,000 to $150,000
E) over $150,000
Do you own or rent property?
A) I live with my parents
B) I rent my current premises.
C) I have a mortgage for my first flat.
D) I have a buy to let on top of my current dwelling.
E) I have several properties.
Have you any savings (excluding CPF as you can't easily access it if you want to)?
A) None
B) up to $10k
C) up to $50k
D) up to $200k
E) over $200k
Pick the statement that best describes your current situation with your relationship with your bank.
A) I am in a lot of debt - my card keeps getting rejected.
B) I am just use the ordinary banking services like most people.
C) I have a mortgage with my bank.
D) I have access to premium banking services as a HNWI (high net worth individual).
E) I have my own private banker.
Your education
Where did you get your degree from?
A) My degree is not worth the paper it is printed on because I went to a private university like SIM.
B) I don't have a degree. That's right, you're better off not having a degree than having one from SIM.
C) NUS/NTU/SMU
D) A foreign university the equivalent of top 10 in UK/US.
E) Cambridge/Oxford/Ivy League/or equivalent in a country like Japan, Korea, France or Germany.
Have you had the chance to study abroad?
A) No, never.
B) I have at least had a teacher from another country.
C) I have spent at least a term abroad on exchange.
D) I did my degree abroad.
E) Not only did I do my degree abroad, I was educated in more than three countries, in more than three languages.
Did you ever study a foreign language during or before the completion of your degree? (And no, your L2 such as Malay, Tamil or Chinese does not count).
A) No, never.
B) I took some lessons.
C) I have the equivalent of A levels in a foreign language.
D) I am totally fluent in a foreign language.
E) Not only am I fluent in at least two foreign languages, I did part of my degree in a foreign language.
Did you ever learn a musical instrument during or before the age of 18?
A) No, never.
B) I took some lessons, but never any exams.
C) I completed a few exams.
D) I completed all the exams for a minimum of 8 years.
E) I did all the exams for more than one instrument.
Seeing the world
How many countries have you visited?
A) Under 10
B) 11 - 25
C) 25 - 45
D) 45 - 60
E) More than 60
How often do you travel?
A) Hardly ever
B) Once a year on average
C) A few times a year
D) About ten times a year
E) Every month, sometimes twice a month
What do you buy when you are abroad?
A) Point me to the nearest designer discount factory outlet
B) I just go to the usual souvenir shops
C) Usually food or drink that I enjoy
D) I spend money on memorable experiences like skydiving or going on a hot air balloon ride, but I don't need more possessions to clutter up my life.
E) I make a contribution a local charity that has inspired me.
How do you decide where you stay when on holiday?
A) Value for money - I want bargains
B) I want it to be convenient for transport, so near a bus or train station.
C) I want it to be near the major sites I wish to see.
D) It needs to be luxury, it is a holiday after all.
E) It needs to be too expensive for the plebs to afford, I don't want their company.
Your friends and social experiences
Which statement best describes your social circle:
A) I have very few or no friends.
B) Manual workers with blue collar jobs
C) A mix of blue and white collar workers, but mostly blue
D) A mix of blue and white collar workers, but mostly white
E) Exclusively white collar workers
Have you ever been invited to a reception at an embassy?
A) Yes, as a cleaner, I clean all venues including some embassies.
B) No, that will never happen.
C) I have been to a party hosted by a foreigner, but it wasn't at the embassy but some fancy restaurant, does that count?
D) Yes I have been once or twice, for work.
E) Yes, regularly, I get bored with those events.
Have you ever been skiing?
A) The closest I will get to seeing snow is having an ice-kachang.
B) I have once spent an hour at Snow City Jurong, does that count?
C) I have been once several years ago.
D) I have been a few times.
E) I ski several times a year.
Have you ever been sailing on a private yacht?
A) I have taken the ferry to Batam does that count?
B) I've been on the yacht, but it has never left the harbour.
C) I have been invited to do so a few times.
D) I do so regularly.
E) I have my own private yacht.
Have you ever flown first class?
A) I have never been on a plane.
B) No, never - only economy, I buy the cheapest tickets.
C) I have flown business class.
D) I do so regularly.
E) Yes but I prefer my private jet.
How would you describe the nationalities of your friends?
A) They are all locals.
B) They are mostly locals with a few foreigners.
C) They are a good mix of people from around the world plus locals.
D) They are mostly foreigners with a few locals.
E) They are all social elites, when you're an elite your nationality is inconsequential.
Pick the statement that best describes your attitude towards fashion.
A) Comfort is most important to me.
B) I like to get value for money when shopping for clothes.
C) It is important to fit in with your peers.
D) It is more important to be send out the right image than to express your personality.
E) Whether you like it or not, people will judge you by what your appearances.
The opera and the ballet - pick the statement that best describes your experiences.
A) Not interested at all.
B) I've seen some clips on Youtube - does that count?
C) I have been a few times in my life.
D) If there's a famous ballet/opera in town, I'd go watch for sure.
E) I have friends who work in the opera/ballet so I feel obliged to support my friends.
I could go on but these 20 questions ought to be more than enough for us to determine plenty about your social status. This is very low tech, I could try to use Facebook to create a more interactive survey type experience, but heck, I think you guys pretty much know that the whole purpose of this post is to point out to most people that they are not as posh as they think they are and there's a huge difference between having money and spending your money to enrich your cultural experiences. So what have your answers been? What have we learnt about your social patterns? Let's find out now!
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| This is about how you spend, not how much you have. |
Mostly As: Traditional poor working class
Your very limited social experiences has a lot to do with your lack of financial resources: in short, you're living the life of a very poor person who hasn't had the benefit of a decent education. To broaden one's horizons, travel the world, meet new people from around the world, to seek brand new experiences - well all that takes a lot of money and the more you experience you gain, the more in common you may have with others who do have the means to see and explore the world and appreciate the finer things in life. Your cultural experiences are as barren as the driest desert: when you do have money you are only interested in things that feed the stomach rather than the mind. By that token, the only people you have much in common with are those who are equally trapped by their poverty - that means you will often seek solace in their company and thus your extremely limited social circle. People who are different from you faze you and you don't know how to talk to them. I can't even think about anything to say to people in this category because any kind of advice about broadening their horizons is pointless as they just don't have the money to do things like that - so I usually just smile, back off and leave them to their own devices. I'm afraid you just can't change people in this category.
Mostly Bs: Mindset of the working class, with some money
This is a more interesting group because I have some experience with them: namely, my parents. Now my parents have an extremely working class mindset yet because of their children and the generous state pension as civil servants, they are financially very comfortable. They can afford the luxuries in life, yet they have no interest at all in trying to improve the cultural contents of their lives to make their lifestyles more similar to the middle or upper classes. There is a funny story from the UK about this working class couple (ie. from the previous category) winning the lottery, hence bumping them up into this category with a sudden windfall. What did they do? They bought the most garish looking gold jewelry in vast quantities and posed for the media with their new gold hardware. Well guess what happened? A few days later, some thieves broke into their home and robbed them of about £11,000 worth of gold. Geez, who in the right mind would have that amount of gold just sitting around in the house, just waiting to be robbed? This couple have children for crying out aloud - how about investing in your children's education instead and giving them a better future? Nope, you choose to buy gold jewelry. People like that have the money to make social mobility a reality for themselves and their children, but they are stubbornly set in their ways with a "how dare you - there's absolutely nothing wrong to be working class, I am proud to be working class". So even if they have money, it is rarely spent on things like education for their children.
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| Would you invest in your children's education? |
Mostly Cs: The middle ground, the middle class
This is where most people will find themselves: the middle ground. These are people who have some money but are probably not that wealthy, but they have wisely invested their money in things like education and experiences that will enrich their lives (rather than say, gold jewelry). But then, classically in the case of Singapore, the focus is overwhelmingly on education: so you have parents who work extremely hard just to be able to get their children the best tuition teacher in the country - "Mr Tan has a really fantastic reputation, I know he charges more than everyone else, but it will be worth it if it will help my daughter get into NUS medical school at the end of the day." In such cases, the amount of money available for their children's education is limited, so tuition will always take priority over say that trip to Paris or that visit to the opera or tennis lessons. Well, this is simply a function of the parents trying to be very pragmatic when resources are limited - you can't say yes to everything so they can only spend the money on what they prioritize as the most important. Such noble Singaporean parents will never allow themselves luxuries like gold jewelry but they also have their blind spots: they neglect the cultural elements to their children's education thus their children may have excellent results, but still have little in common with those from more privileged backgrounds whose parents have placed a lot more emphasis on a more varied cultural experience. This often results in situations where the lack of soft skills (rather than the lack of academic qualifications) holds these people back from social progression to the next class.
Mostly Ds: The new emerging elites
These people have the best of both worlds: they had a good education and they have also had the good sense to dedicate enough time and money to the cultural aspects of their experiences. They have probably realized that you cannot get by in life purely with good academic grades, you need to have soft skills - after all, your university results may impact on the way you get your first job, but soft skills will serve you for life. I would place myself in this category: I was born to parents in the 'mostly Bs' category, but I was able to make very strategic choices for myself because I realized that whilst my parents didn't care about social mobility, I actually do and if I didn't want a life like theirs, then I had to do a lot of things they never did before or even thought of - such as go live and work in Paris. On the surface, it is hard to distinguish between people of the 'mostly Cs' and 'mostly Ds' category: that is because they probably have roughly the same amount of wealth, but the difference lies in their ability to mix with the next group. It is now January, would you be able to participate in a conversation about where you will be going skiing this season? Or will you get a polite smile when you confess to have never been? What differentiates those in this category from the next is the role of the parents: we are clearly a product of social mobility whilst those in the next category were born with a silver spoon in their mouths.
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| How far up the property ladder are you? |
Mostly Es: The well-established elites
Few Singaporeans are in this category: they are very likely to have parents who are themselves very rich and well-educated, they have not only access to the wealth to buy them the best education available, but also had the opportunity to do all the leisure activities from sailing to skiing to golf to exotic holidays that the rich take for granted. Such elites naturally feel a sense of connection to others who have had a similarly privileged upbringing or at least to those in the previous category with whom they have enough common ground for some kind of social connection. Thus such people rarely feel tied to one place and their nationality is almost incidental: you see, someone from the 'mostly As' category will feel a strong sense of local identity as a Singaporean because that's all they have known all their lives and there's nothing else that defines them. Whereas someone from this well-established elite category would have lived, studied and worked around the world, they have friends from many countries and have the social skills to mingle with the elites whether they are in New York, Seoul, Berlin or Sydney. It is their wealth and privilege that ultimately defines them.
That's the biggest fault I find with the NUS survey. They only looked at the social connections on a very local scale, pointing out that rich people in Singapore tend to befriend other rich people in Singapore - that those who went to elite schools will only befriend those from other elite schools; that may describe those from the 'mostly Cs or Ds' categories but what about those whose social networks expand far beyond the confines of Singapore. Indeed, given the way so many Singaporeans have studied and worked abroad and have friends from all over the world, given the way our social interactions are very much done via social media these days, this survey ignores many aspects of the way Singaporeans make friends in 2018. It also ignores another important group of people in Singapore: expatriates/foreigners. There are a total of 5.75 million people in Singapore of which, only 3.9 million are citizens: what about the 1.85 million foreigners in our midst then? How do you classify say an expat when it comes to the 'elite school' category? I'm afraid that the methodology behind this survey is deeply flawed - so, there's perhaps a use for my useless geography degree after all.
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| What is the best way to categorize social class in Singapore today? |
Now finally, I am sure you want to know my results. Well I scored 12 Es, 6Ds, 2Cs. The two questions where I scored the Cs on were those about sailing and flying first class. So on reflection, perhaps I probably do belong more to the 'mostly Es' category than I thought, it wouldn't have been where I placed myself since I had to acquire all of the social privileges I have today as an adult, with no help at all from my parents who are in the 'mostly Bs' category. I still think there's a gap between me and those who would score mostly Es in this test: I remember a conversation in the office when a colleague talked about meeting Margaret Thatcher, the prime minister then, when his father went to Buckingham Palace to get his OBE from the Queen. Yeah. How the hell am I ever going to 'compete' with people like that when it comes to being posh and having privilege? It takes more than a generation or two to accumulate that much social privilege, if I had a child (well, hypothetically, I have no desire ever to become a father), then I could very easily pass all this social privilege onto my offspring so s/he would have an incredible head start in life, rather than have to battle the odds the way I had to. So that's it from me on this topic: what do you think? How did you score in this quiz? How would you define your social class? How do you feel about your place in society today? Please leave a comment below, many thanks for reading.
I'm mostly Ds, some Cs, very few Es. My husband hates to travel. He would prefer to save all the money he could. We just bought tickets to Nice, France. Yeah!
ReplyDeleteRight now, my money is spent on my son's private education and tennis and piano lessons. I'm ok with that. We have worked hard for what we have with no support from family. I'm fine with upper middle class living in a small house and owning a small rental property. My father was a poor Chinese immigrant who raised 9 children and did well. I think he's proud of me, but he's probably in heaven saying, "You spent how much on that?!" Lol.
Why nice of all places? It's alright but not particularly big and it is an awfully long way for you to travel just to see Nice - unless you're going to start there and explore the rest of France? If you've never been to France, then you absolutely have to start at Paris, there is no more obvious place to start.
DeleteUnless you're going to tell me something like, "I have been invited to a an event (such as a wedding) in Nice" - then it'll make more sense.
DeleteWe are flying to Nice and staying in Mougins. We have vacation membership which allows us to stay at Club Mougins. We could have stayed in Paris too, but I wanted a quieter vacation. The Cote d'Azur is also on my bucket list. We'll go to Cannes, Antibes, St. Tropez, Nice, Monte Carlo, Menton, etc. I have checked out the buses and trains. Just the very south of France. I love old buildings. I have zero places of interests on my list so far. We are just going to enjoy each city/town/village. My husband would find Paris too busy. I have to ease him into Europe. I am hoping he will like it enough to try Paris or Italy or Portugal next. I also want to do El Camino before I am too old.
DeleteMy husband said to clarify this:
Deletehe doesn't mind traveling if he gets to stay at a luxury resort with lots of good food. It is the sight-seeing that he hates. In a place like Paris, I would have too many buildings to cross off my list and at least several hours at The Louvre itself. I'm a museum person. He's not. It will make him very cross. I have promised that in the Cote d'Azur, we will just stroll aimlessly and visit the little cafes and bakeries to his heart content. His best vacation was on a cruise ship to Alaska where he ate very good food all day. Luckily, he is tall and still has a good body. I wouldn't mind a Carribean cruise, actually. Visit the islands during the day and go back to the ship at night.
Canada itself has many places I haven't seen.
Yeah I've been to that part of France and spent about a week there - Rob had to go to Mandalieu for a conference, that's no more than 10 km from Mougins. The interesting things are mostly found in Nice where they have a fascinating old town which is quite compact and enough to keep you amused for like one afternoon, then there's the beach front which is quite touristy, but hey you are a tourist. As for Cannes, St Topez, Monte Carlo etc - it will all blur into one after a while, overpriced 5 star hotels next to designer boutiques - this is where rich French people go and nothing is cheap, be warned. Unless you are prepared to rent a car, then you'll be at the mercy of public transport schedules - check those in advance to avoid waiting too long for the next bus that goes where you need to go. I'm sure you'll have fun, I'm just concerned that you're not that close to Nice (you're like 27 km away) but otherwise, you can always head up to somewhere like Grasse if you like your quaint little French towns (just 12 km away).
DeleteAnd I hate to be judgmental - if your husband can afford travel but hates sightseeing and just wants to eat good food, that places him in category 'mostly Bs' - working class with money. And no, don't 'stroll aimlessly' - have the map with you and make sure you know when you can deposit him somewhere like a cake shop whilst you nip into the market or the department store next door, have your escape. Otherwise you should do what my sister does - she has her girly breaks with her girly friends, she leaves her son with her husband and has a good time with her girls. Sounds ideal to me.
Otherwise, feel free to leave your husband at the resort and spend a day or two out sightseeing with your son! That's probably a good compromise!
DeleteThank you. I'll have a map for sure.I meant the agenda in each village/town/city will be very low key unlike if we were to be in Paris. My friend has loaned us guide books with recommendations. We will walk around looking for old buildings and local favorites. I also have a list of markets and the days they are open. We are going in March. Not too touristy and still cool temperatures to keep us congenial. Yes, I am ok with local transportation. Part of the adventure. Yes, Mougins is in the Grasse district. I don't care for overpriced boutiques and hotels. I will spend on decent food and transportation though. I don't even mind spending on attractions, but I believe most of the attractions are free or not too costly unlike Paris.
DeleteMy husband doesn't care about social class perception. He works very hard and would love to just watch sports, nap, and eat. He has less vacation time than I do, Working class with money? Haha! I will take his money, and he can keep working!
As for me, as long as I get away, I am happy. The Cote d'Azur has always been a dream. Paris is on my list soon!
Oh I have done the kind of Spanish holiday where I have discovered loads of little Spanish villages that were not on the tourist map but extremely charming in a way that small, untouristy Spanish villages can be - you know, the genuine unblemished article. It's just that I've done the major cities as well so I think time away should be as much about spending time with people you love.
DeleteI'm off to Spain again in January with Rob and we're visiting an old friend there, so it's not like we're visiting somewhere new but for me, it's more about spending time with people I care about and my old friend has not been in good health, so it is important for me to visit him whilst he's still able to do stuff.
As long as your husband doesn't turn into my dad - when he visited a year ago, good grief, he showed ZERO interest in English culture and I remember trying to tell him an aspect of English culture that affects the way I work and you know how hard it is for me to tell a story in Mandarin instead of English, but eventually midway through, I could tell his eyes were just glazed over - he wasn't listening to a word I said because he just wasn't interested at all in the country he was visiting. Doesn't give a shit. And that kind of behaviour frustrated the hell out of me, when old people stop expressing an interest in the world. Luckily for me, my brother in law actually heard every word I said and I ended up having a meaningful conversation with my bro-in-law about the topic. Like nobody expects my dad to know much (or anything) about English culture - just at least have the decency to show some interest when someone tries to play the tourist guide and gives you interesting information.
My husband isn't as bad as your dad. He'll observe the culture and quirks of each place.
DeleteI think traveling is to build memories as well. I was just talking to my nephew and recalling our trip to Hawaii 31.5 years ago! He was a wee child. I miss him so much. So glad he remembered our trip.
Perfect time to visit Spain. Get away from grey London. I personally love grey skies.
I think we focus on certain things that we like - for me, I MUST MUST MUST learn the local language and avoid using English when I am there, whilst I have another friend who will go with a long list of food items that she MUST eat whilst on holiday; for us, we're experiencing different aspects of the culture that is of interest to us. I was lucky for example, when I was studying in Paris, my best friend was a Czech student who had his bucket list of Parisian things to see and do and we basically did his list - he was a lot more cultured than me and dare I say, he made me a better man and I was grateful to have a best friend who wasn't local to share the delight of doing all those things for the first time together with - the locals would be like, meh Eiffel tower.
DeleteI am squarely B! My parents - one's an A, the A-B, mostly A. I found this article both funny and frightening at the same time. Trying to spend more time with D type people and the gulf in class is both inspiring and intimidating at same time. As for Es - goodness i have only met a couple, their ways are utterly alien to me.
ReplyDeleteHi - woah, I'm kinda surprised. I always thought you would be mostly Ds. Is it the mindset of your upbringing that you can't shake, if you clearly have money now?
Deletewell i have 4Ds! If that counts. But yea its taken awhile to shake the mindset. i find myself unable to speak much to my immediate family now - they just don't make any sense to me anymore. And i have discarded all those friends in the A & B categories so to speak.
ReplyDeleteI am making more money now, but i haven't accumulated lots of savings or assets yet. I have been on a yatch party just once. And visited just 10 countries.
Now, i would like to think im on my way up. Perhaps i should revisit this checklist annually?
And now im also wondering if any of the trolls - u know those who accuse u of being anti-singaporean or whatever dare to answer your checklist of questions candidly?
Well, allow me to hazard a guess as to what is happening.
DeleteIf you have been brought up to have a certain relationship with money, ie. be careful what you spend it on, don't waste money on luxuries, you need to save for a rainy day etc - then you may become a hoarder, someone who has a healthy or even impressive bank balance, but will always hesitate to spend money in the shops. You'll see a coat you like, look at the price tag then probably walk away from it (or try to talk yourself out of spending the money on it). You have that relationship with money out of habit - it's so deeply carved into your mindset that you are conditioned to act like that, rather than out of a financial need.
Am I right so far? Looks like our parents are quite similar by this measure, my parents have 3 kids so they are always, always inclined to save money just in case they need it for something down the road and with 3 kids, there's always something down the road. So we were always extremely frugal for no better reason than the desire to save for a rainy day.
I do believe in investing in my social life though, that would enable me to make small talk with my business associates at work.
And no, I am still awaiting more hate mail - those are fun to get.
Oh, but hoarding money (ie. saving for a rainy day) is still so much better than spending your new found wealth on £11,000 worth of gold jewelry like that couple in England for got robbed! At least if your money is still in the bank, you could still spend it on something sensible and worthwhile - maybe put it towards a property eventually.
DeleteSpot on! My folks have wasted tons of money through inflation. I do have a definite shortage of life experience - it does make personal connections sometimes difficult. More experience means more commonalities, more shared experience. And yes, i'm saving up to buy a property. Thats the biggest priority. Alex, has anyone told u that you have excellent intuition?
DeleteWhat do you mean wasted tons of money through inflation? It's not like Singapore ever experience hyperinflation ... ?
DeleteWell hoarding money in the bank instead of investing any of it.
DeleteOK they lost some money as a result but I hope they've learnt their lesson?
DeleteHahahah! Learn? Them? Nah they are set in their ways. But i think i have unlearnt the lessons they taught me!
DeleteI'm a solid A. No shame in being poor. I made some poor decisions (loaning someone money) so lost lots of money and some good ones like mining bitcoin.
ReplyDeleteMoney is the means to an end. I wish to hit C on my own effort without having to depend on my parents.
Well I know you and your case is different because you decided to make a major career change, leaving a well paid job to retrain in a totally different field - that's why you're knocked back to being a student with no income today, so there's no shame in that per se. But I do hope you've learnt from your poor decisions and mistakes - we all make mistakes and I've made my fair share of bad decisions too of course. I think you risk falling down a slippery slope when you make statements that begin with "no shame in..." because you are missing the valuable opportunity to learn from your mistakes and we owe it to ourselves to become better people as a result of our mistakes.
DeleteI have made some pretty dumb mistakes in my past and I am not ashamed to tell you that yes I am very ashamed of those mistakes but I fully intend to take responsibility for those mistakes, learn from them and become a better person in the process.
Chaoniki, you will be out of As and Bs once you are settled.
DeleteThe Ds I got took decades. I wonder when I will ever get to sail on a private yacht? Probably never! That's an A for me.
Di - ref: sailing on a private yacht. I didn't have to spend a penny, I have rich friends who invited me - that's it. So it was not even about spending a lotta money, it was about knowing the right people.
DeleteMy friends are white - collared and affluent but not private yacht rich. I should make better friends. Just kidding. I have friends with private canoes and kayaks, though. Doesn't quite cut it, huh?
DeleteEr no darling, that's like saying I've seen the opera and the ballet on Youtube .... But no lah, not all my friends are flying around the world on their private jets. My best friends are people I have a connection with and that usually means being able to understand me at some level, you realize I am kinda weird (LOL like the sun's a bit hot - I'm a bit weird) and if you can 'get' me, then yeah I'm your buddy for life. So amongst the people who 'get' me, I do have some guys who work for not a lot of money but I value their friendships as much as the friend who invites me onto his yacht.
Delete@Choaniki, bro perhaps u r being hard on yourself? I think we should make a distinction between people who have to overcome genuine obstacles , versus people who aren't conscientious. You sound like a guy whos always trying to do the right thing, and that's admirable.
DeleteI agree with Chen - Choaniki is going through an interesting transition at the moment and can't be judged by the same standards because of those circumstances.
Delete@LIFT I learnt a very important lesson in not loaning anyone money I can't afford to lose. I am still so 20k in debt due to this stupid mistake.
DeleteI have paperwork and all showing the debt amount owed but although the debtor has a house and car he just refuse to pay a single cent more to me. Having to go to the courts to litigate this is not something I have the time or money to do now.
There are also a few career and friendship missteps I had along the way. But since I had to learn everything the hard way with zero help from parent it would really take more time to build success. If I had a good mentor or better parents I probably would be a millionaire today. But no point crying over split milk.
Life circumstances and changes must be taken into account. If you have lost your job or are changing careers, travel or the opera or making $150000 hardly applies. I admire chaoniki ' s courage and fortitude to better himself by this transition. Not many Singaporeans would take this plunge. Extra points for being on this journey!
DeleteMostly Bs and a couple of As and Cs.
ReplyDeleteToo veered towards my craft to bother about enjoying classical arts and social life. Never been to a skiing site, but will head towards to the mountains for trekking in the snow.
I could have added other things just to make my point - like I had to drop a few questions (I decided to cap it at 20), about activities like fencing. I could do go on, there are just too many atas activities that the upper classes do that ordinary people only watch on TV.
DeleteOr horse-riding, that's expensive as well. Even tennis is considered relatively atas, it isn't that expensive - it's just that poor people tend not to play tennis whilst it is the rich Taitais who send their kids to tennis classes. That's Di Talasi for you!
DeleteHahaha! True tai tais do not have to drag their carcasses to work like I do. Darn it! Should have married rich.
DeleteRich Taitais taking their son to tennis - that's you darling :)
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ReplyDeleteHuh? Simi taiji? Anchua aaaaa until like that?
DeleteOh you mean you scored all As? Congratulations, straight-A student.
DeleteAs for me, it is 7 As, 8 Bs and 5 CS.
ReplyDeleteAs are financial and education. For fashion, I really go for comfort and usability even it is not in fashion.
Does skiing 1 times during vacation at Hokkaido count as B?
I do agree with you that the correct way to view class should be education and things like how we spend our money. Unfortunately, that's not how many Singaporeans see wealth. They take it as more money = higher class. That's why the ah pek with his gold chain and bad manners is still well respected in Singapore, unlike in the UK, where he would be looked down on for being uncouth.
ReplyDeleteIn the UK, it's considered bad manners to flaunt your wealth but here it's not. And other people would treat the show of wealth as "got money" and therefore, higher class. So it doesn't matter what we think as long as other Singaporeans equate having money with having class. Haha...
Ooooh there is a huge cultural difference between Singapore and the UK - but you see, people like my parents, they are stuck in that mindset and they don't need to interact with people from other countries, so I just leave them be. But people of my generation and younger, we have to live and work with people from other countries, so we cannot be like a bull in a china shop when it comes to how we come across to them and so younger Singaporeans like you need to be aware of how other cultures perceive the concept of class - clearly, you're ten steps ahead of your peers, so good for you FBB.
DeleteHEY Limpeh! THANKS for the quiz. Read through your blog and realised how alike we are, especially our family background and upbringing. My parents are also B (working class mindset with money) while I have a mix of C and D traits, but more of C. I will heed your advice to learn the soft skills, self-confidence and charisma required to mix with different types of people. Thank you so much for writing this post to clarify.
ReplyDeleteOh I just can't believe how aggressively working class my parents are in their mindset. My mum for example has no concept of travelling and broadening her mind and keeps thinking going abroad is a waste of money, she is totally a philistine when it comes to culture (opera/ballet/general knowledge etc), spouts a lot of ignorant bullshit and she's like "why study/work abroad when NUS is equally good?".... I can totally empathize with how you feel about your parents!
Thanks for the empathy. Yeah my dad's refusal to learn anything new is so frustrating for me. I love learning for the sake of learning, I think I benefit from expanding my mind and it makes me a better person. But ever since my dad retired, his mind is just totally closed to even learning anything new because he's like, well I've worked all my life, I no longer have to work, so what do I have to learn new stuff for, it won't be of benefit to me. He doesn't understand that it doesn't have to have a monetary value - you are learning to become a better person and you can't put a price on that.
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