Wednesday, 29 November 2017

Elitism, meritocracy or just the Dunning-Kruger effect?

Hi guys. You know, I hate to put people down, but it does frustrate me that SIM students demand to be treated as equals with NUS, NTU or even Harvard and Oxford graduates despite the fact that if they had the grades to go to Oxford, they would have done so and not even considered SIM at all. SIM has the stigma of being the very last resort for students who have done so poorly for their A levels that they have no where else to turn to for a degree - they want to believe that this unfortunate turn of events doesn't mean that they would be condemned for life, unable to find a decent job. But when I point out that gatekeepers like me prefer brighter, more intelligent candidates who have proven themselves by getting into a good university, all they can do is accuse me of elitism. Look, gatekeepers have a job to do - we need to identify the best candidate(s) for the job rather than try to level the playing field and treat everyone as if they are the same. I am talking about meritocracy here - whereby people are selected on the basis of merit, this isn't some kind of social exercise where we try to help people. Hell no, quite the opposite! Meritocracy discriminates against anyone who is more stupid, less able, less qualified, less experienced, less articulate, less eloquent, less presentable, less attractive and if you want to equate meritocracy to elitism, then you don't know what elitism means. In today's post, let's explore these terms.
Do you want to blame elitism or meritocracy?

Now if you were to go back a few centuries, the UK had a ruling elite which comprised of the royalty and the aristocracy. Now these people were fabulously wealthy whilst the rest of the people were very poor - there was no concept of social mobility then. The children of the ruling elite could be hopelessly stupid, yet they could still expect to be placed into positions of power because of their high social status. And those who are born into the lower classes have little chance in expecting to get a decent education or job quite simply because they are not part of the elite. So take myself for example: I came from a very humble working class background but I got lucky with the genetic lottery and managed get scholarships to university which led to me working in corporate finance today. This was possible thanks to meritocracy which rewarded individuals like myself who have proven myself worthy - this wouldn't have been possible under a system dominated by elitism because my parents were working class folks and didn't belong to the privileged elite. So for all the SIM graduates accusing me of elitism, you're using the wrong word. I believe in meritocracy, I owe my social mobility to meritocracy - I don't however condone elitism at all because I would have been condemned under that system.

I suppose the closest thing we can find to this kind of social nirvana that the SIM students are dreaming of, where everyone is treated equally regardless of IQ or ability is a pretty extreme form of communism. Take Cuba for example, doctors in Cuba are paid very little under their communist regime because the government doesn't want to create an elite class who are richer than the others. There are other very socialist countries such as Finland where the pay gap between blue and white collar workers is a lot smaller but Cuba takes it to quite an extreme by paying their highly skilled, highly trained, highly intelligent doctors so little - about US$40 a month. That is why many doctors in Cuba have little choice but to move abroad to learn enough to feed their families. So I can imagine an SIM student being very happy in a place like Cuba because at least they will be all earning as much (or should I say, as little) as a doctor under that communist regime which doesn't believe in meritocracy, refusing to financially reward even the top Cuban doctors capable of heart transplants. Whereas in a meritocratic, capitalist country like Singapore, a top heart surgeon would command a much higher salary than your average SIM graduate and somehow, in the eyes of the SIM students and graduates, well they are wondering why they do not have access to those kinds of jobs that pay that well and why the system is "unfair".
This kind of communist system in Cuba was created to achieve social cohesion - it was counting on doctors practicing medicine out of a genuine desire to serve the people of Cuba, to heal the wounded, to cure the sick and that noble feeling of having done something so worthwhile should be enough, money shouldn't even be a part of that equation. But the problem with paying Cuban doctors so little is that they end up either working abroad to earn more money or they end up leaving medicine and working in the tourist industry where they can potentially earn a lot more money dealing with rich foreigners. This kind of communism, extreme socialism may satisfy some people in Cuban society but it is far from an ideal solution - should those who have little of value to offer their employers be paid as much as a doctor capable of open heart surgery? You see, this is so extreme that I think even SIM students would have a problem with it especially if they are brought up in Singapore which is a shamelessly capitalist society. But meritocracy and capitalism go hand in hand - you can't have one without the other and what the SIM students are really protesting about isn't elitism, no. They are not happy with the fact that they are screwed under meritocracy and would prefer an alternative to the curent system.

However, I have an alternate theory that explains the mindset of these SIM students and graduates. You see, they don't really want to live in a country like Finland or Cuba which takes socialism to quite an extreme. They are quite happy with the current system whereby some people are paid a lot more than others - they just don't want to get the raw end of the deal in this kind of system. This is what is known as the Dunning-Kruger effect: is a cognitive bias wherein people of low ability suffer from illusory superiority, mistakenly assessing their cognitive ability as greater than it is. The cognitive bias of illusory superiority derives from the metacognitiveinability of low-ability persons to recognize their own ineptitude. In short, it is when stupid people genuinely believe they are clever. Now before you accuse me of being mean and elitist again, here's a short video to explain how the Dunning-Kruger effect works which does explain clearly what is happening:
So with this in mind, is it possible that students who have done disastrously in their A levels actually suffer from the Dunning-Kruger effect and think they are as brilliant as Oxford and Harvard students? Well actually, yes. You like to think that grades are usually a pretty simple and straightforward indication of one's academic ability, but haven't we all done a bad exam before and felt really frustrated by the process? I'm sure we've all been there before - in Singapore, we talked about 'spotting questions', ie. trying to predict which topics would be covered in the exam and focusing on those chapters. It is a bit of a gamble of course and if you get lucky and 'spot' the right topic, then you know all the answers. But if you predicted wrongly, then oh boy, there's that sickening moment when you read the question and think, "oh shit, why didn't I revise this chapter? What made me think they were going to focus on that other chapter? So unlucky!" In fact, teachers (and tuition teachers as well) can play a big part in helping the student 'spot' the right topics in their preparations so the quality of your teachers can also play a significant part in your results. Likewise, haven't you been sick on the day of an exam and sat there in the exam hall with a runny nose, congested head or even a fever? I can think of so many valid reasons why a perfectly competent and intelligent student can have a really bad day and mess up the exam. This is why many people feel that judging a student's ability on just a few exams is too harsh and course work that can be carried out outside exam-conditions should be taken into consideration and given equal weightage in the results.

You've heard the saying, "even a stopped clock is right twice a day" - well, even students who have bad results are rarely consistently bad. They would have had some exams or tests where they did score pretty well; thus they would selectively remember those moments when they felt proud about just how well they have done. And haven't we all been in a situation where we messed up and thought, "geez, can we just pretend that never happened please?" Of course, the rational response to having made a mistake is to analyze where we went wrong and try to learn from those mistakes, so we never repeat that mistake ever again - but it is always too tempting to forget or ignore an episode that is embarrassing or made us look stupid. In fact, it happens all the time in sports: when gymnasts make a mistake during a competition, the coach would rarely ever berate the gymnast for the mistake even if it may be a costly one that has just lost the team a gold medal at the Olympics. Have a look at the video below - this was when Alicia Sacramone of the USA messed up her beam routine in the team finals at the 2008 Olympics in Beijing. Her costly mistakes eventually cost the US the gold medal - China won the gold medal by a tiny sliver and that was mostly due to Sacramone's very costly mistakes. However, Sacramone was hugged and comforted by her coaches and team mates even after that bad routine. It seemed everyone in her team rallied around her instead of blaming her for crumbling under the pressure in the finals.
The fact is teachers, coaches, teammates/classmates, friends and family tend to be kind and merciful when we screw up royally, so that makes it only too easy for us to forget or ignore the terrible mistakes we have made. If others won't berate us for our mistakes, then unless we hold ourselves to account - then it is possible to end up conveniently forgetting or ignoring our mistakes and only remembering the times when we were successful. Now this kind of rather 'selective memory' isn't that unusual after all, it simply isn't healthy to dwell on our mistakes or bad memories from the past for that would only make us feel awful and bad about ourselves. Sometimes the memory of an incident that upset me may pop into my head and I would do everything I can to try to distract myself, to think about something else because if I dwelled on that memory, it would just make me miserable. Instead, we prefer to remember the good memories of events that make us feel better about ourselves - thus it isn't that unusual or even wrong for students in SIM to conveniently ignore their poor A level results that landed them in SIM in the first place and just focus on the events in their lives that have been a lot more successful. And this my friends, is entirely normal and probably explains why some people who have had terrible results still genuinely believe that they are intelligent because of this very selective memory process.

One of my readers Di Talasi has accused SIM students of being delusional - others may say that they are suffering from the Dunning-Kruger effect. The two really aren't that different, it's just that Dunning-Kruger is a more scientific sounding term that doesn't sound as disparaging as 'delusional'. It is entirely possible that these SIM students are in the unfortunate situation whereby they are just not good at passing exams the traditional way but they may have other talents in areas which are not covered by the conventional routes that students in Singapore are bludgeoned through. At best, they are asking us to give them the benefit of the doubt that this is indeed the case, that they should be given the chance to prove themselves in ways other than their (rather poor) A level results which is more than a fair request. However, as a gatekeeper, I would then say, "okay, you're asking me not to judge you by your A level results, you're telling me you're not stupid - fair enough, please give me something else to look at please, what am I going to base my judgement on instead? Be reasonable. You can't expect me to give you the benefit of the doubt without giving me anything else to look at." Need I state the obvious? Some SIM students are indeed guilty as accused, their best response is exactly what they are doing - to be disruptive and protest rather than just say, "yeah you are right - I'm very stupid."
Imagine a murder investigation when a man is accused of murder based on the fact that he has the victim's blood on his clothes. The accused claims that the blood only got there because he went to assist the victim but he didn't ham the victim. The investigating detective would then say, "can you prove that then?" There would then be a prosecution to prove that the accused is guilty and for the accused to defend his innocence - this will of course be all evidence and forensics based, you can't just take someone's word for it. Of course, there can be a perfectly valid reason why the accused did get the victim's blood all over his clothes if he was thinking of saving her life after stumbling upon a badly injured woman in an alley - but if the police catch you standing over a dead body covered in her blood, then you gotta admit, you look kinda guilty and there's probably some explaining to do to say the least! Likewise, if you apply for a job with an SIM degree, then you do look guilty of stupidity having taken that option instead of say retaking your A levels and getting better grades that would have gained you admission into a much better university. But what do these SIM students and graduates do when we ask them for an explanation? "You are elitist! How dare you assume we're stupid and useless?" How do we even begin to bridge the gap in a civilized manner if they start off by being so defensive?

Where does this leave us? Well, no closer to a resolution I'm afraid. On one hand, you have SIM students who suffer from the Dunning-Kruger effect, demanding to be treated like Oxford scholars and on the other hand, you may even get a kind gatekeeper who is willing to give them a chance to prove themselves, but when given that precious chance, they often throw it back in the gatekeeper's face, screaming, "how dare you ask me to prove myself, how dare you doubt my abilities!" We live in a meritocratic society whereby people are rewarded according to their abilities and it must really suck to fare badly under such a system, to find yourself at the bottom of the food chain. But what do you think? Are these students genuinely dreaming of a more fair society or are they delusional and suffering from the Dunning-Kruger effect? Is it right for society to be organized on the basis of meritocracy, when so much of this meritocracy is mostly based on academic performance? Is there anything wrong with elitism in a capitalist society - shouldn't companies want to hire the very best talents or should they be forced to take on a certain percentage of workers without a proper degree? If achieving a fairer society is your goal, should you lay that responsibility at the hands of the private sector or should you be asking the government to help students from certain more deprived background achieve more through better education?  How do we arrive at a reasonable compromise then? Do leave a comment below - many thanks for reading.

41 comments:

  1. When asked if they thought they were above average in intelligence as compared to the wider community, perhaps 8/10 people would say yes. But we all know that half the people would have to be below average.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Exactly, hence Dunning-Kruger. But it's not that people are delusional - that'll be a cruel assessment; I think most people are just happy to pack away unhappy memories in a place where they are unlikely to access it to make themselves feel bad and hold on to the good memories about the precious moments when they did do incredibly well. It is just not healthy for one's self-esteem and mental health to dwell on the times we screwed up in life - hence we tend to often left ourselves off the hook when it comes to the stupid mistakes we've made, but that can also lead to the Dunning-Kruger effect of course.

      Delete
    2. But we can dwell on happy moments without inflating our abilities or imagining ourselves superior to others. i wonder, Can we reallu cultivate a culture where people are more content, and less prone to one upmanship, while also remaining a competitive, productive society?

      @Lift, u have travelled extensively through Europe. Are the Scadinavian countries as egalitarian as they are reputed to be? If so, then how did this come to be? What are your Scandinavian friend's opinions on equality & fairness?

      Delete
    3. Oh one of my best friends is half Finnish half Swedish and the short answer to your question is YES they are as egalitarian as they are reputed to be: crazy high taxes. You have a good job? Good, hand over ridiculous amounts of tax so we can help the poor. Now you're poor like them after we tax the hell out of you and everyone's equal! We're NOT talking about rich bankers or billionaires paying a lot of taxes, we're talking about quite ordinary folks like teachers and others earning modest amounts of money being taxed a lot still, despite the fact that they are not earning that much money but more than say a blue collar manual worker (who is than entitled to very generous handouts from the state).

      Most Scandinavians accept that this is the price to pay for an egalitarian, fair, happy society and they gladly hand over their taxes. But are they happy about it? It varies. My friend is pissed off as hell and wants to move to somewhere like Singapore - he's super well educated, works a white collar job and tells me that on paper, yeah he earns a lot of money but after the taxman claims his share, he's no better off than say a lorry driver because of the social system. Actually, he'd move to Singapore tomorrow if you offered him a job now. Like he'll get the first plane out and send for his belongings later.

      Delete
    4. To be fair, there are winners & losers in the Scandinavian system. If you're an uneducated bum who can't get a decent job, don't worry the government is going to give you loads of cash anyway to make sure you're not any worse off because that's only fair right? It's not your fault that you loss out on the genetic lottery and were born stupid and useless. But people like my highly educated half Swedish half Finnish friend, well, he's taxed at an alarming rate in this spirit of egalitarianism. What can I say?

      Winners & Losers.

      Delete
    5. Any kind of study of the general happiness levels of a country would depend on there being more winners than losers in any such system. The Brexit and Trump result should remind you that there are many who are desperately unhappy with the system and want to cast a 'protest' vote. So in Scandinavia, believe you me, those at the bottom of the food chain - the less educated working class are thrilled with the system, they couldn't be any happier and those at the top are rich enough (probably with enough assets offshore) to support such a system anyway and they have plenty of privilege within their society to be happy enough and have power in other ways. It is only those who are stuck in the middle who are squeezed the hardest: my friend isn't part of the elite, but because he is educated and has a good job, he isn't entitled to super generous welfare payments either and because he doesn't have any children, he doesn't have anyone else in his immediate family to reap these benefits (eg. free education for your kids - oh you don't have children? tough!) and what is keeping him in Scandinavia at the moment is his friends & family, but I can't imagine him staying there in the long run. Singapore is just too tempting - or maybe he'll go to somewhere like Thailand or HK.

      Delete
    6. Ah. Now i think i see a very real problem with Scandinavian countries. They risk 2 long term problems - a middle class brain drain and becoming uncompetitve compared to other countries. As asia continues to modernize and produce better products more cheaply, can they maintain their egalitarian utopia? Or will they have to rein in the welfare and pay the market rate so to speak?

      I'm all for welfare in the form of generous grants to start ups, scholarships for the poor, maybe a school pocket money fund for needy students, and medical care for the disabled. Other than that, i believe governments are duty bound only to provide good functional infrastructure, and the rest is up to the individual.

      So there are always winners and losers, always pros and cons. Nothing is free in this world and no one owes us a living. A cliche, but a lesson so often forgotten.

      Delete
    7. Well yes, you and I are pretty much on the same wavelength on the issue. Perhaps we may be considered left wing by some Singaporeans but I think many Scandinavians will see us as very right wing because we don't believe that white collar workers should be taxed to the point where they are left with as much money with their blue collar counterparts (who are getting generous top-ups through their welfare system to ensure that they are no worse off than their white collar counterparts). Sure it is a social ideal that only works if there is plenty of money to go around, but will it last in the long run? Especially if middle class Scandinavians say fuck it and move away (well they all speak English perfectly anyway, so maybe somewhere like Australia might appeal to them). Certainly there is are plenty of them in London, taxes here are not exactly low but still, a lot lower than Scandinavia.

      But it is not the pay/salaries that's the problem, it's the tax system. Oh you're a rich professional, hand over 60% of your earnings in income tax so we can give that money to poorer people who aren't as lucky as you. But what then happens is that you're left with 40% of your earning, thus rendering you 'poor' after tax or not much better off than the unemployed bum who has just received a HUGE welfare check from the government. In fact, that unemployed bum can go jogging, fishing, do yoga etc all day whilst you work your butt off just to hand over your earnings to him? Holy shit. That's fucking insane if you ask me. That's why they're leaving - but their system isn't going to change. Remember what I said, winners & losers. I work in banking and earn a lot of money, there's no way I want a system like that. But if I am a single mum with 2 kids and I work part time earning peanuts, then of course I want a system like that. Winners and losers.

      Delete
    8. Oh yes, i have made the mistake of sharing my views frankly with the wrong people and basically got myself labelled as some sort of unenlightened fascist!

      Now i do believe (however naively) that we can work towards a world in which most of us live in perfectly tolerable conditions, where basic necessities are met, while a minority enjoy greater privilege.

      Trouble is, the underclass of many societies seem to expect rewards not commensurate with their contribution! Some of these SIM grads are a good example.

      A fair society for me is one with great social mobility, free market, meritorcratic. Equal wealth distribution is a dampener of human initiative and breeds a culture of mediocrity in the long run.
      Inequality doesn't automatically make life absolutely horrible and to be honest, don't we find our fulfillment in a measure of hardship & suffering? Why the need for shortcuts? Work part time & repeat your A-Levels!

      Delete
    9. Can't agree more. I spoke to another Scandinavian who defended their system - you see, she has children and their governments do pour money into their school system and the Finnish education system for example is one of the best in the world because they totally invest in their education system. Others: Norway, Denmark, Sweden are pretty awesome too. So my friend has a good job, earns a lot of money and pays a lot of tax - ouch, money she would rather keep in her bank account and buy stuff for her family. But she doesn't want to move to the UK for example because the quality of the education wouldn't be the same for her kids - LONG super long discussion to be had, it is not just about how much money goes into the schools here vs there, or whether she can afford to send her kids to an expensive private school in the UK but rather the whole approach to education is different and she thinks their system is infinitely better than the British system on so many levels, in so many ways. Hence she is staying there as her kids get a better education, it is a better place for them to grow up etc. Sacrifices she makes for her kids. She is a highly educated, rational mother and I guess well, if that's what she thinks, then so be it.

      You see, the underclass (ref: SIM grads) won't have such a problem in Scandinavia because even if they end up in shitty jobs, there are other ways the government will take care of them. The only thing the Singapore government offers is Asian shame and disdain as motivation to work harder.

      Delete
    10. Most SIM grads are anyways only what i call the "relative underclass." They got options and choices either working for SMEs, or starting small business. The true underclass, poor sods born into one room rental flats with drug addict loser parents - yes they genuinely need handouts. But i believe that must come from civil society. Philantrophy, not a welfare state, is the better solution.

      Delete
    11. Maybe I am very right-wing and ungenerous, even unkind. Because for me, it's like, have you met my parents? Do you know what kind of childhood I had? Yet somehow, I dragged myself out of the gutter with a bit of luck and a lot of kindness from people I've met along the way. I did get help but not in the form of the welfare state. So I guess I am totally on the same wavelength as you.

      Delete
    12. oh my parents are absolutely Bodo too. Zeros. Can't think, can't talkm, utterly incapable of most forms of problem solving. They struggle with finding directions or ordering food from the menu #doublefacepalm. Yet they rank themselves highly, and are eager to criticise others for being "not smart" or whatever label they conjure up. I had to role model others and to seek feedback from so many other people. And nope, benefactors don't always drop from the sky. We have to look for them and be willing to listen. Many people from gutter are WAYYY too proud to learn from others, too proud to accept genuine help. We can only correct the correctible. Think of those gutter rats who choose to cover themselves in ugly tattoos and wear cheap black clothing in a pathetic attempt to look superior. These guys are hopeless and there should be absolutely no welfare for this kind of arrogant scum. Let them starve. Can't help people who choose to consign themselves to the underclass and then try to fake being more highly ranked. Hood rats or SIM grads, same problem, just different degree of severity. No, I don't think we are right wing, its just a willingness to confront harsh reality. Some welfare and generosity for the honest poor, enough to motivate, not too much which can de-motivate, and none for the dishonest. Menial jobs and penitentiary for the latter.

      Delete
    13. I see the same thing with my parents - they don't trust themselves. I remember how my mother used to freak out whenever she had to take the MRT, my sister would give her detailed instructions, even write them down and it's like, how can you go wrong if you were to follow these instructions step by step? But they just don't trust themselves! So for me to google something and then visit there in a country like Tunisia using public transport, well, I'm the other extreme. And ordering food from the food menu? I think what I find astounding is my sister's infinite wisdom. We went to a steak house and my mother was like, I don't want a steak. So my sister said fine, do you want chicken or fish? Which would you prefer? And my mother said, I don't know - maybe fish. But what if I don't like the fish? And I'm like, geez, it's not a hard decision: chicken or fish, what do you feel like eating? In the end, my sister with her endless kindness and patience ordered fish and chicken, so my mother could taste both and eat the one she preferred and my sister would eat whatever my mother didn't want.

      That's the problem with taking autistic people to a restaurant - they reject the unfamiliar, they hate the thought of trying new things.

      Delete
    14. You see, the thing with the "chicken or fish" incident - I don't even know what the hell is going on. Is my mother so autistic that visiting a new restaurant for the first time is so unnerving and scary that she has a mini freak out? I don't even think that she is so autistic she cannot cope with the experience of visiting a new restaurant. Or rather, what I think may be going on, is that she does these things whereby she creates a situation where she 'needs' my sister's help so my sister bo pien, has to fuss over her and take care of my mother, so my mother gets my sister's attention. Otherwise, what may happen is if she quietly says, "I would like the fish please" then she would order, no drama, no fuss, but no attention either. The rest of us would have to make the effort to engage the others at the dinner table in stimulating conversation, tell interesting stories and crack jokes to get the attention of others - but of course, being severely autistic, my mother is totally unable to do any of the above. I think she craves some kind of attention but totally lacks even the most basic skills to partake in basic conversation at a dinner table (the kind of things the rest of us take for granted). So she relies on cooking up situations like "chicken or fish" in order to get my sister to fuss over her - which is both very sad and extremely pathetic at the same time, because she is doubting the fact that my sister would take care of her during the dinner, she is assuming that we'll just all ignore her and no one would say a word to her throughout the dinner if she just sat there eating her fish / chicken. I think my sister is a lot kinder than that lah, maybe I am the cruel, evil bastard but my sister? She is an angel I swear. Infinite kindness and patience, she would never neglect my mother. Yet my mother has to treat my sister like that, I don't get it. If my mother pulls this kind of shit to get my attention, then fair enough - but with my sister? But then again, my mother doesn't know how to get my sister's attention in any other way.

      See L Chen, it can be freaking scary having autistic parents as you sometimes don't know how helpless they are. It is scary when you think about it - I interact with them on the basis of 'let me save you from your autism and stupidity but you must co-operate.' But no, my mother is the last person on earth to admit that she's either autistic or stupid, when she's clearly one of the most autistic and stupid people alive on earth.

      Delete
    15. Oh i worry about my folks daily, in-between putting up with the odd insensitive and insulting remark from them! And don't get me started, my mum pulls the same sort of stunts all the time. It was all terrifying to me, when I was a child. Had no idea what these nut jobs were up to next. I don't know whether its needy, plain stupid or yes some form of condition like autism. Now I cold shoulder her. She behaves a lot better now - being nice to her just reinforced all her bad behaviour. Its like giving a naughty boy sweets.

      Well, I think we have also inadverdently made a point that we all have personal, private adversities and its up to us as individuals to face up to them. Your sister has the burden of caring for her kid AND your mum.. AND she still managed to build a successful career. Were there more welfare in the form of say generous subsidies for expensive mental health screenings and subsidies for hiring skilled care givers, sure that would help your sister (and me!) but ultimately we can't avoid the pain of having to deal with our parents. It is meritocracy that birthed the so many life transforming institutions and technologies that make our lives more comfortable today, how could people argue against it?

      Delete
    16. OMFG, our mothers are so similar it is uncanny. That's why I value your friendship my friend. Seriously, it's called empathy and you are giving me buckets of it. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I think Asian cultures expect people like my sister to bend over backwards and fuss over my mother, tend to her every whim no matter how fucking ridiculous it may be without complaining - and my sister is the perfect Asian daughter, does as she is told, gives her parents anything they want, never ever complains. What irks me is that my mother is so blur she can't even see how amazing my sister is - despite years of neglect and abuse, my sister genuinely loves and respects my mother and my mother can't even see that?!?! She has to resort to cooking up these ridiculous situations to get my sister's attention?!?! Thus when you wrote, "being nice to her just reinforced all her bad behaviour" - I was like, that's soooooo true. I just feel sorry for my sister, I don't understand why she does what she does. The amount of crap she has to put up with is unreal - and she doesn't even berate me for fucking off to London because I can't deal with my parents' bullshit. Cos I'm like, fuck this shit I'm outta here, I don't need this family. Yet all she has is love for me, when she has every reason to hate me. My sister is incredible you know.

      Delete
    17. Ur sister has my respect! Good to have a conversation here, get things off my chest too.
      My mum plays the game of "thousand questions" incessantly. After years of listening and trying to be reasonable, & sucking it up, the most effectively strategy has been to occasionally show my anger, and mostly ignore her. And btw, i'm not the only one who reports such an experience.
      "Dog training" is what one guy described his experience to me.

      Did fillial piety ever work? Or was it just bullshit all along? In fact, i'm beggining suspect that most Singaporeans deep down inside are driven to pursue degrees just to please the whims and fancies of their mindless, aimless, clueless parents. Perhaps its high time we all ask what can we do to succeed? And what can we do to make genuine contribution to family?

      Pleasing the whims and fancies of anyone sounds like giving welfare to spineless losers. Why not be more positive? Focus on people who add value? I still believe of course in taking care of the old folks, i mean i will get old eventually, but i restrict that to paying their bills and doing for them what they genuinely can't. And have some standards, say "No" to abuse. The latter part i still struggle with sometimes.

      Delete
  2. Which is why there is a phrase that goes, "a little knowledge is a dangerous thing". You can't imagine how many ignorant people who think they are medical experts just because they used a bit of google. Also recently i was on one particular MRT train where a moderately obese woman kept patting her belly fat throughout the entire train journey (about 20 mins worth). I wonder where she learnt that from and if she even knows that hitting her fat does absolutely nothing in helping her slim down.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How old was this fat woman? I can imagine old, uneducated people doing shit like that.

      Delete
    2. About 50-60 years old I would say.

      Delete
    3. Well, imagine if someone took a video and uploaded it onto Youtube ....

      Delete
    4. I have seen this body patting thing several times. U think its maybe just some sort of wierd Qi Gong practice?

      Delete
    5. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q5OAC7a5sW8

      Delete
    6. As luck would have it I encountered her on the smrt today and managed to capture a video. Just extrapolate the time to about 10-20 mins and that would be the actual situation.
      https://youtu.be/Y8uRa1hO60o

      Delete
    7. Hahahahaha. The MRT is so empty - this must have been late at night?

      Delete
    8. Early morning but this was a recently opened line.

      Delete
  3. Strangely, I don't disagree with what you say about educational shortcuts. I'm currently a computer science student at an Aussie uni in Singapore and you are right about the distinction between private and mainstream graduates.

    But I was wondering if you can help me with this question: How do I go about using a very solid IT diploma from SP and my Aussie degree to explore opportunities in the technology field overseas?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. To be honest, I work in banking and have a lot of experience in media but I have never worked in IT. You're better off asking someone who works in IT. But you're giving me way too little information in any case - IT is such a wide field, like what exactly do you do? I know a bunch of people who work in Google in the UK through my gym and they have come from everywhere: Russia, Sweden, Romania, Poland, China etc so yeah you're clearly in the right field but what exactly do you do and is that what a company like Google are looking for?

      Delete
    2. First thing, don't think about using your IT diploma and your Aussie degree, as in don't think about how they would contribute to you getting a job overseas. Their value is to establish that you have a base competency, that's something those technology firms get thousands of every single day. Like LFT says, if that degree isn't from a top 50 university they don't really have that much of a value.

      I'm assuming you get those companies doing recruitment events at your university(The more prominent universities should have those). Talk to them, learn what skills they're looking for and how to show that you have a comfortable competency level at them. Mingle at your local tech meetups and events to learn what's in demand and get to know more senior people to sought their advice.

      It's difficult to get employed through the recruitment process unless you really stand out, you boost your chances if you can get someone in the company to recommend you.(Technology firms tend to offer recommendation bonuses, so those guys benefit if you can prove you're good enough)

      If you're in one of those top 50 universities those technology firms will come to your university and beg you to join(Or an alumni network to help). If you're not, then you have to do the extra legwork to build those connections. It's not that you can't get a job at the top companies without being in the Ivy Leagues(or equivalent) but you just have to put in a lot more effort to catch up. In some ways, the technology firms are a lot more meritocratic than finance/medicine.

      Delete
    3. Well meritocratic is a poor choice of words, but rather less zero sum.

      Delete
    4. Great advice. I think if this guy was actually serious, he would give us a bit more detail - we can't give any more useful advice without going into the specifics of the case. Thanks Bay.

      Delete
    5. Sorry guys, I wasn't clear because I am still at an exploratory phase. But thank you for your replies. I appreciate it very much. I am also serious about going abroad because I want to break free from this little island.

      Going forward, I think I have to stack up on the right technology skills (after I have narrowed down the field to pursue) and languages skills. I think picking up German and improving my Chinese should be priorities.

      As for human capital I am afraid I am totally bankrupt right now.

      I am going to do some projects and perhaps participate in open source ones. It might help me get past the stigma of being a distance learning Aussie degree holder when others can see genuine work. I might also be able to built up some contacts that way.

      Sorry again fellas. But I will be back again. =)

      Delete
    6. Hi RSim,

      Bad choice when it comes to your language skills. German is a notoriously hard language to learn and the fact is Germany has already welcomed millions of refugees - trying to get into Germany (or Austria, same situation) you are better off pursuing the high tech route because the bottom line is even I have worked in Germany before and my German isn't great, but I didn't get the contracts in Germany on the basis of my ability to speak German - no, it was down to my other skills in other areas that were so highly sought after I was flown over to Germany and given a contract to do my work there. Most people in the German speaking world (Germany - Austria - Switzerland) do speak English to a very, very high standard anyway, so even when I was there and spoke German, they usually replied in English because they are so keen to demonstrate their excellent English language skills. You're barking up the wrong tree with German - pick a country first and then learn the language.

      And as for Chinese - You are fucking joking right? What the hell do you need Chinese for, unless you wanna move to China or Taiwan to work there, Chinese is utterly, totally useless anywhere else in the world. The only two countries where you will use Chinese are China & Taiwan. Chinese will be no use to you whatsoever in the West - which is where I presume you wanna go to. There's absolutely no point in you improving your Chinese just because you've studied it in school - even if you wanna go down the route of say a translator, you're never ever going to compete with a real Chinese person from China when it comes to your Chinese language skills, just no way.

      Even when it comes to these two languages, I already see you've made some very poor choices.

      If you'd give us more details, perhaps we can talk more about it. But forget German, unless you're willing to invest say 20 - 30 hours a week of intensive study for like 3 years, you're not going to get anywhere with it because it is so freaking difficult. Take it from me - I speak some German and have worked in Germany, I know how hard it is. Even something like French and Spanish is much easier.

      As for Chinese - like I know you wanna leave Singapore, but do you really wanna go work in China or Taiwan? Seriously?

      Dude, I hate to be harsh but it sounds like a) you don't even know what the hell you wanna do with your life so b) you don't even know what to do with yourself if you don't know what the hell you want or where you wanna get to.

      Delete
    7. And for crying out aloud - you work with computers: the language you need is C++ NOT German or certainly not Chinese, Oh FFS, do you realize how utterly irrelevant and fucking useless Chinese is unless you wanna live & work in China/Taiwan? Even when my company last dealt with China, guess what? The people we dealt with spoke English reasonably well - so there was zero need for us to speak any Chinese. The people in China who are seriously engaging with the West in the business world speak English reasonably well - so unless you wanna move to some little village in some far flung corner of China, guess what? All those years of studying Chinese at school is fucking useless, it's so not going to help you especially if you're wanna move to the West.

      I can't believe I have to state the obvious: Chinese is used in China & Taiwan. Not other countries in the West. Do you people not get it?

      Delete
    8. Australian University in Singapore? That already sets off alarms. It's either James Cook University or SIM-RMIT and since you specified computer science, that would most likely be SIM-RMIT so distance learning degree.


      Delete
    9. @unknown, u seem familiar with both schools. How is JCU vs RMIT? Any merits or they both crap

      Delete
    10. Hey, someone as inarticulate as I am is in the IT industry, I agree with LIFT, worry less about your articulatory language, just have enough to convey your ideas and intentions. If you really want to be aiming to be a high achiever in IT, you need to be extremely familiar with at least one programming language, and adopt a speciality in let's say, graphics programming(my territory).

      Delete
    11. There's a saying, "it is tempting, if the only tool you have is a hammer, to treat everything as if it were a nail." How apt it is.

      Delete
    12. L Chen, didn't see the reply until today.

      Both are private unis in Singapore so that tells you about the quality of students you'll be getting. Most will be well off kids who didn't study hard enough in secondary school/JC/Poly and so NUS/NTU/SMU don't want them.

      SIM-RMIT I heard is the "easiest" university to get a degree from in SIM so yeah, not exactly the most glowing review.

      From what I heard from friends, JCU's psychology course is rather tough but again, one has to consider the quality of students there as well

      In terms of rankings, both are middle of the range universities in Australia.

      If you had no choice but to take the private uni route, James Cook would probably be better since it's recognized equally whether you studied in Australia or Singapore and they actually try to provide students with a full university life while the RMIT degree has the SIM name attached to it and really just a money making machine.



      Delete
    13. I wanna urge caution: you fell into the trap of claiming 'since it's recognized equally' - oh please, recognized by whom? By gatekeepers like me? Yeah, right. The gatekeeper says no.

      Delete