This used to be my playground.

Hi all, I hope you've been following my current trip on Instagram! I have spent a week in hot, sticky, humid, tropical Singapore and as I am writing this, I have about 22 hours left in Singapore before I fly off to Australia. I have a night flight but I am so conscious that this is the last night I am sleeping here. I took a long walk around my local neighbourhood, around my parents' house where I grew up and had this song in my head. I remember how I was fucking desperate to leave Singapore the moment I was old enough, but every time I return to visit, there's a part of me that is sad to leave. I can't find the right words to express that confusing mix of emotions I am experiencing right now, my difficult relationship with my parents have always taunted me - I know they care but aiyoh, living with them is death by the million paper cuts.

Let me give you an example: my mother cares about me but doesn't know how to put it into words. I had my lasik done two years ago in Singapore and I went for the check up today to do a follow up. I have experienced some problems with my vision though I don't think it is related to the lasik operation - my eyes have become quite photo-sensitive, they don't cope well with very bright conditions but I am perfectly fine indoors or at night. My mother cared enough to accompany to the eye clinic, wait 2 hours with me and we chatted whilst we waited even though I assured her it was a routine check up. That shows she cares, I then even told her exactly what the doctor said about my condition. Later that night, when my sister than asked me what the doctor said about my eyes, my mother seemed to have forgotten what the doctor had told me and came up with a wild theory of her own that was complete speculation (and totally invalid, untrue) - it was something she had guessed whilst we were bored in the waiting room. But she went with her theory, rather than the doctor's diagnosis after careful examination. I had to then tell my sister, no no no, that's not what the doctor said. It's just little things like that which irk me - yes she cares but she is incapable of listening, even dealing with basic facts like a medical diagnosis. What's the point of paying to see an expensive eye specialist when you're going to play doctor?

I also have managed to spend a lot of quality time with my sisters - and I can't say this enough, I have two wonderful sisters whom I totally love so much. I also have a wonderful brother in law whom I am proud to call family. Sometimes just talking to them allows me to get the much needed empathy I need to deal with my parents - for example, I found out that my father totally fell out of an old friend because of his unreasonable behaviour. Now that's another long story which I might tell you another day, but when my sister told me what he did, I rolled my eyes and said, "does he realize it was entirely his fault?" And she just said, "what do you think?" I suppose her attitude is like, does this surprise you? You know exactly what he is like. Anyway, I am pleased to report that unlike my last trip to Singapore and my family's last visit to London, I did not argue with them. Oh I have been on my best behaviour and I don't think I can change anything - but it just made me wish I could be of more help to my nephew. I am not worried about his studies - it is what it is, he's not a straight A student but so be it, he does need some more help in terms of developing better social skills and as a person who has overcome my own autism, gosh, I am living proof that you can indeed improve your social skills if forced to. I was so much more awkward, geeky and nerdy back when I was my nephew's age and I've come a very long way since.

Okay, I had better get some sleep now if I want to make the most of my last day in Singapore. Please remember to follow me on Instagram for the next chapter of this exciting, long journey to Brisbane, Australia. Many thanks for reading guys.