Limpeh's London Listicle (aka 'Limpeh kah lur gong')

Hello everyone. One of the greatest aspects of being a blogger is my interaction with my wonderful readers and recently, one of my readers has pointed me to a really good blog post by a Singaporean expat currently working in China. In it, he outlined his frustration with Singaporeans who have the 'frog at the bottom of the well' mentality and are completely unable to appreciate what the experience of living and working abroad is like. I enjoyed this article and thought I'd do a UK-version of it, as I did encounter a lot of these attitudes when I last returned to Singapore in 2015.

What are the misconceptions about life in London?

I did encounter a number of friends and relatives whom I have not met in ages on that last visit to Singapore and one of the first questions they have asked me, "so you come back olredi izzit?" To which I replied, "I'm on holiday in Singapore to visit my family, I'm flying back home to London in (insert number) days." Of course, I know exactly what they mean - they are assuming that I've ended my sojourn abroad after many years and have returned home to Singapore; which was why I deliberately emphasized that Singapore for me was but a holiday destination and that home is in London. I also explained that I am now a British citizen in Singapore, on a 30-day visa and I have given up my pink IC many, many years ago - so I have burnt all bridges with Singapore with a big smile on my face. This often led them to question why I would ever want to burn my bridges with Singapore, "what if things don't work out for you over there, then how? If you still got your Singapore passport, then at least you can come back." Well, allow me to now address some of the misconceptions they had about life in the West and I shall use the same 'listicle' format.

Myth 1: London is way too cold.

Well London is colder than Singapore that's for sure - but places like London have four seasons. In the summer months it can be hotter than Singapore and in the winter months, we may experience some snow. I love the way the Hampstead Heath can look totally different in winter when the lakes are frozen and there is snow on the ground than in spring when the flowers are in bloom. Then comes summer, when the weather is hot and people swim in the lakes and the trees are lush with foliage, before the arrival of autumn, when the leaves turn golden brown and the wild berries are ripe for picking. So it is not always cold in London, but we get all kinds of weather and I find that really interesting.

Limpeh with some wild flowers in London.

Tip from the local: We simply get used to the habit of being aware of what the weather is going to be like before we leave the house - is it a cold day? Is it a warm day? Is it going to rain or snow? Once we have that information, we simply dress appropriately. How is that different from Singapore? Don't you at least check if it is going to rain and make sure you have an umbrella with you if it is? Would you arrange some outdoor activity like going to be beach or cycling if you knew it was going to rain all day? So how's that different from what we do in London?  Once we know what kind of weather to expect, we will dress appropriately for the weather. Snow? Hail? Storms? No problem, I'm prepared.

Myth 2: It is hard to make friends with Angmohs.

Whether or not you find it easy to make new friends in a new environment is down to the individual, I have seen Singaporean students make new friends effortlessly at university because of their outgoing, extroverted, engaging personalities. Then I have also seen Singaporean guys struggle to make any friends during NS because they are so introverted and unable to adapt to a new environment (despite being surrounded by other Singaporeans men of a similar age.) Some people find an excuse, they want to blame some kind of imaginary cultural barrier - rather than admit that they are partly (or completely) to blame when they fail to find new friends when they move to a new environment or country. I don't think it is any harder or easier to make friends in London, compared to Singapore, or anywhere for that matter. Don't be fazed by the fact that the people you are encountering are from a different country.

Is skin colour really that important when it comes to friendships?

Tip from the local: Everyone has their hobbies: start by seeking people whom you share something in common with. That would be the easiest way to ensure that when you start talking, you definitely have some common interests to have a lively conversation about. You just have to accept that with people you have little or nothing in common with, you're unlikely to become good friends with them even. You need a rather targeted approach if you are to form these meaningful friendships - and skin colour, nationality or culture has far less to do with this than you think. At my 40th birthday and house warming party, every guess that turned up (surprise, surprise) is either a gymnast or a gymnastics coach since I spend so much time doing gymnastics with them. By the same token, if you were to grab some random Singaporeans on the MRT, there is a very high possibility that you will have absolutely nothing in common with them and thus have no basis to form any kind of friendship.

Myth 3: The streets are not safe.

Now this is an issue that I have already addressed very recently on another post, The streets of London are actually pretty darn safe if you know what you're doing. I wouldn't just go wandering around aimlessly - really, with modern technology (Citymapper is great, as is Google Maps) you have no excuse to get lost. And even if you do, feel free to ask a local for directions and help. Sure there are some dodgy neighbourhoods where you really shouldn't wander down the street alone at night, but with a bit of common sense, you would not do anything that isn't particularly safe. I've always kept my wits about me and after nearly 20 years in the UK, I've never ever had any issues with safety. I have heard of stories where some people get so incredibly drunk and make themselves very vulnerable - that's when they put themselves at risk of crime and very bad things can happen if you are just too drunk to even stand up straight.

Tip from the local: A bit of common sense goes a very long way - plan your journeys and don't get lost. If you are going to get drunk, then make sure there is a friend who will take care of you - don't be left alone and vulnerable if you are going to get drunk. IMHO, you really shouldn't get drunk like that in the first place.

Myth 4: The cost of living is very high.

Again, that isn't true - consider the fact that about 14 million people live in the Greater London region, not all of them are mega-rich multi-millionaires. Of course, if you were to go to neighbourhoods like Mayfair, Knightsbridge, Chelsea and Kensington, you can see how the mega-rich live the high life. But really, they account for a very small proportion of the population of London: the rest of us ordinary folks actually manage to get by pretty well without several billions stashed away in offshore accounts in Panama. What you can afford, the standard of living you enjoy, the size of your house, the kind of holidays you have, the kind of clothes you can afford depend far more on factors like how much you earn, how many people you have to support (elderly parents and children) and those factors are going to determine the quality of your life - not how much say, a loaf of bread or a bottle of mouthwash costs at your local supermarket.

How much do you think eating out should cost?

Tip from the local: Manage your finances properly. Do your research and know where to shop to get the best deals. Your money will go a lot further with a bit of local knowledge - speak to your friends and neighbours for more tips.

Myth 5: Your taxes are very high.

Again, that simply isn't true. I have done a previous blog post to disprove this myth and have shown that the bulk of us do not pay 40% income tax on earnings. Besides, Singaporeans can only envy how we get free healthcare on the NHS. You can wax lyrical about Meidcare and Medishield all you want, but at the end of the day, if you're going to become ill, you're far better off in the UK than in Singapore. Furthermore, it is a fallacy that Singapore is some kinda low-tax country when you have money locked away in your CPF - you cannot use the bulk of it and the government decides if and when you're allowed to withdraw it. The bottom line is that the British system is so different and Singaporeans often choose to ignore all the things we get for free from the government - such as healthcare, so they are hardly making a reasonable comparison. But really, at the end of the day, the quality of your life, how much spending money you have doesn't depend on how much taxes you pay; no, what really matters more is what job you have and how much you earn - that is why I think so many Singaporeans are barking up the wrong tree on this issue.

With my British passport - our system is so different from yours.

Tip from the local: Before jumping to any conclusions about how much taxes you may have to pay, do the calculations and look at the numbers. Do not take bad advice from misinformed Singaporeans who don't actually live in the UK and have no idea how the British system works - only take advice from reliable people who know what they are talking about. The internet is full of bloody stupid idiots spouting utter bullshit, you were warned. Only depend on advice from reliable sources. I can't stress this enough - the internet is full of half truths, lies and stinking piles of bullshit.

Myth 6: People are racist towards Asians.

Oh this simply isn't true. And I'm not saying for a moment that people are nice here - they are not. But discrimination is far more subtle than simply racism - this is 2016. You are far more likely to encounter discrimination on the basis of your social class. Take a look at this article in the Independent recently, it is about the murder of a posh 18 year old from one the UK's most exclusive schools after he provoked a working class man with the words, "you'll work for me one day." Indeed, in this day and age, it is not about the colour of your skin - it is about how much money you have. That is what really matters and if you are poor or perceived to be working class, you will be discriminated against and that does seem a lot more offensive than simply pointing out someone's a different skin colour or from a different country. British society has moved on from racism a long time ago - attacking someone for being black is tasteless and unacceptable because you don't get to choose the colour of your skin. But when it comes to discriminating against someone who is perceived to be doing poorly in life due to a lack of effort of their part  - it's fair game. Such is the UK.

You need to be aware of the British class system.

Tip from the local: Spend some time reading up about how the British class system works and understand what you are getting yourself into - I have written plenty on the issue on my blog. Don't be a bull in a china shop.

Myth 7: Angmohs are very liberal one, right?

Again, I wouldn't make that assumption. With any society, you will get a range of attitudes from those who are very liberal to those who are very conservative. So many factors determine whether one is liberal or conservative: your family background, your level of education, your community, your religion - what I will say though, is that the laws in the UK tend to be very progressive and on the liberal side. So take an issue like same-sex marriage for example, thankfully the law is on the side of the liberals and we have same-sex marriage in the UK and those who are not in favour of same-sex marriage can't do much about the situation, Likewise, pornographic magazines and DVDs are readily available everywhere (even in the equivalent of a 7-Eleven type convenience store) - not everyone approves of them but you can't expect to have complete consensus on any such issues in a big country like the UK, right?

Tip from the local: When encountering British people, don't make any assumptions about whether they are liberal or conservative. Try to find out more about them and you will soon be able to work out where on the liberal-conservative spectrum they lie. Some British people can be very religious and conservatives, but they're in the minority.

Myth 8: Angmohs work very short hours one, right?

Actually it varies - when I was involved in the start up incubator earlier this year, I witnessed a lot of white people putting in crazy hours in excess of 80 hours a week.It was quite shocking. Then again, I have also encountered people who worked for big companies who stick to a 9 am to 5:30 pm schedule and don't work a minute beyond 37.5 hours a week. That's 9 to 5:30 weekdays, minus a hour for lunch. It depends so much on the culture of the company you're working at: there are some people who know that they are going to get the same salary at the end of the month regardless of how much effort they put in, so they get by on the bare minimum. Then there are those who work in small companies and manage their own businesses - they have greater motivation to work harder as they can directly see an increase in their earnings and profits when they work harder. Then there are those in sales, who work incredibly hard because they are so dependent on commission. On average, yes the working week here is shorter than in Singapore, but as you take a closer look - there is still a huge range in terms of the length of the working week.

Some Angmohs work very long hours one...

Tip from the local: If you are coming to work in the UK, it may be useful for you to do a bit of research to find out what the working culture is going to be like in your new company. Do not assume that you will be taking it easy and having a 37.5 hour week only - you never quite know what awaits you. A lot of that also depends on what your boss expects of you - so that may trump any other cultural influences on this matter.

So there you go, those are eight myths explored. I hope I have helped explained some of these common misconceptions about British society and London. What do you think about these myths? Why do you think Singaporeans have these misconceptions? What have your experiences been like in the UK and with British people? What have been your impressions of London and the UK? Please leave a comment below, many thanks for reading.