Signs of weaknesses: don't let it show

Hello guys. Let's talk about signs of weaknesses: I am appalled how many of you are oblivious to just how unaware your public image can be destroyed by displaying such signs of weaknesses. When we go to work or to school, when we step out of our homes, what kind of image do you want to project to the people you are going to meet? One of confidence or one of weakness? I will be talking about this in the context of of Singapore as well as in the context of the UK: the culture is somewhat different but the basic principle is still the same at the end of the day. So, please allow me to put on my PR and marketing hat and offer you some advice on the issue today. I shall begin with Singapore.

Do you carry one of these around?

Weakness in Singapore: The bottle of water or water bottle

I know Singapore is very hot and humid, I complain about that every time I visit Singapore and of course I can see why many Singaporeans carry a bottle of water with them. However, this is a sign of weakness that sends a negative image to the people you meet. I never carry a bottle of water in Singapore because I know that if I get thirsty, I can always purchase a drink if I need one or I can just find a tap and drink from it - this being Singapore, tap water is completely drinkable, unlike somewhere like Sri Lanka. Why would you need to carry a bottle of water then - if you are mountain biking on Pulau Ubin or running a marathon, then fair enough, but if you're just walking down Orchard Road? Carrying a bottle of water around (literally, in your hand as you walk down the street) sends out the message that:

• You are so weak you cannot tolerate a few minutes of thirst until you find the nearest source of water.
• You are so poor you are unable to afford $1 or so to buy a cheap drink from a shop. 
• You are so paranoid about drinking tap water in Singapore despite the fact that it is totally safe.
• You are totally oblivious to how the 'water bottle' is definitely not a fashion accessory.

We live in a fashion conscious society where people can spend a lot of money on expensive clothes, shoes and branded accessories; furthermore, people spend even more money on their hair, skin, nails, teeth, bodies to look great. Perhaps you are some kind of social outcast who has long given up on making people like the way you look - but if you're not, then please at least make the effort to hide that bottle of water you carry around with you. Screw the top on tightly and put it in your bag. You should never show up for a business meeting or job interview holding a bottle of water! You are not some Korean super star like Choi Ji Woo advertising the trendiest mineral water in town, she can be look sexy even if she was carrying a bag of mouldy vegetables. That bottle of water does not make you look good and sends out all the wrong messages: you need to put it away in your bag where nobody can see it, conceal it. 

That's Choi Ji Woo - she could be holding a rotten sweet potato and still look sexy.

Weakness in the UK: wearing outdoor clothing indoors

I have actually attracted a large number of readers to my blog in search of advice on winter clothing, but do you know that some British people get it very wrong as well? A huge mistake they make is when they wear outdoor clothing indoors and a fairly common mistake is for people to wear woolen sweaters (and other similar types of fleece-type jumpers) indoors. Now there's absolutely nothing wrong with woolen or fleece type jumpers and sweaters - but they are for a very specific purpose: they are meant to keep you warm when the weather is cold and to protect you from the elements. They are not really designed to be worn indoors. Currently in London, the weather outside is 11 degrees, windy and with light rain - now I would definitely wear woolen or fleece type jumper/sweater (and/or a coat) before I leave the house as the weather is decidedly unpleasant. If you were a shepherd herding sheep in the rain and wind today, then by all means put on all the woolen jumpers and sweaters that you have. However, the average temperature indoors is around 21 to 24 degrees - it is the equivalent of your average air-conditioned room in Singapore and hence you do not need to wear any kind of winter clothing the moment you are indoors. 

So if you were to show up at a meeting wearing a woolen sweater, then the message you are sending out is: 

• You are so weak that you feel cold in a room which is heated to 24 degrees - this actually suggests that you are unwell and might be having a fever.
• You are so poor that you are unable to afford different kinds of clothing for outdoor wear and indoor wear. 
• You are so paranoid about feeling cold that you are wearing outdoor clothing in a room heated to 24 degrees. 
• You are oblivious to how odd you look wearing outdoor clothing indoors when no one else is doing so.

It may be -24 outside, but it is +24 inside...

If you are one of those people who live and work in a very dressed down, casual environment, then perhaps it isn't such a faux pas to wear winter clothing indoors - though it may still look odd if everyone else around are dressed in jeans and T-shirt and you're dressed as if you're going camping in winter. But if you want to send out a positive image during a business meeting or a job interview, then the right thing to do is to take off your outdoor clothing the moment you are indoors - it would send out the impression that not only are you comfortable with the temperature in the room, but that you care about giving the other party a good impression with your appearances.  Now you may say, "Alex, aren't you being quite judgmental and unforgiving on people who may find 24 degrees somewhat chilly? Perhaps some people experience hot and cold temperatures differently because they have an illness."

My response is simple: when you stick out from the rest, when you dress differently from everyone else, do you want to rely on them giving you the benefit of the doubt? Are you willing to take your chances and hope that they do not simply assume the worst of you and your weaknesses? When the stakes are very high: such as during a business meeting or a job interview, those are chances you just don't want to take. This is particularly true in the world of business - when I go for a business meeting, I am not there to see my friends, nor is this a social occasion: instead, I am there representing my company and my employers are paying me good money to get the job done. And if I were to mess up the meeting because I had given the clients a poor impression because of the silly mistakes I have made, then I deserve to be sacked for being so careless and not taking my responsibilities at work seriously enough. 

Do you take your job seriously?

There is another very good reason why you should never wear outdoor clothing indoors - it's called sweat. Even if you were to feel cold after stepping in from outside, keeping your outdoor clothing on indoors will mean that you will soon be overdressed for a room that is nice and warm. You may not feel this at first, but pretty soon, your body will protest and try to compensate for the overheating by perspiring. That is when you will stink of sweat and that stench is never appropriate when you are in polite company. Not only is it anti-social, but it is also unhygienic. You want to stay reasonably cool so that your skin is naturally dry and not damp with sweat. Perhaps the worst offenders of this would be Singaporean tourists abroad, I have seen plenty of Singaporean tourists in London wearing winter clothing indoors whilst carrying a bottle of water. Come on people. British buildings have central heating and are usually warm and snug - furthermore, drinking water is usually easily available so you don't have to take a bottle of water with you everywhere. I don't even bother taking a bottle of water with me to the gym as there is a drinking fountain in my gym and there is a shop a minute from the gym if I should want to buy something like a juice or a diet coke. 

I am not trying to prove my manhood by enduring long periods of thirst: I am constantly able to find water to drink and when I am traveling in hot countries, I would always prefer to keep my bottle of water in my bag rather than carry it in my hand (not holding anything then frees up my hands to do other things, like taking selfies). Nor am I trying to prove my masculinity by enduring the cold: I dress appropriately when I am braving the elements during winter, but the moment I step into a warm and comfortable indoor environment, I make sure I always take off my winter clothing. In following these two simple steps, I am projecting an image of confidence, not weakness. I am still drinking as much as I want to and I am still dressing up warmly in the winter months - the only difference is that I am careful to not show any obvious signs of weaknesses to the people whom I meet. I am very keen to give them a good impression. 

Do you care about what others think about you? Well, you should!

So there you go, that's just two little pieces of fashion advice from me today. You want to look strong, confident and ready to take on new challenges when you step outside your house to face the world. You don't want to look like someone who is weak, feeble and paranoid about thirst or cold. Are there any other fashion mistakes that irk you? Are you guilty of either carrying a bottle of water around or wearing outdoor clothing indoors? Many thanks for reading.