The herd mentality of Singaporeans: conform or die

OK here comes to follow up to my post on LKY's passing that has well and truly gone viral. I have spent a lot of time replying to some of the many messages left on that post and that has delayed me writing this piece but at the same time, I am glad that those messages have given me much food for thought. I have re-read my previous piece and double-checked that I had not said anything even vaguely critical about LKY at all and you know what? I am not going to criticize LKY at all in this post either - I am however, going to criticize Singaporeans and Singaporean society in this post again. Don't you get it? I don't have a problem with LKY, I actually have a lot of respect for LKY - it is the herd mentality of ordinary Singaporeans that drives me mad and this is what I am going to talk about in this post.

I had a reader politely remind me that the fact that I am indeed very different from the vast majority of Singaporeans - perhaps that's stating the obvious but fair enough - I needed to be reminded why my blog doesn't connect with many ordinary Singaporeans. My parents spent most of their lives teaching in the same primary school in Ang Mo Kio whilst I have worked for many different companies in Europe, Middle East and Asia. Just this week, I have spent some time working up in Media City Manchester with the BBC radio 4 and it is the second time that I have had the pleasure of working at Media City. The project brought together an eclectic, international mix of writers, producers, technicians and performers and such is the nature of these BBC projects - they can be a lot of fun. I love working on such projects because of the opportunity to new people all the time and I really enjoy getting to know new people like that. 

In the recording studio at BBC Media City

Such is the nature of my industry - you don't really need to try too hard to fit in and you're allowed to be yourself. For example, I always realize that I am always very overdressed as someone working for media; after all, when you're working in radio, you could be sitting around in the recording studio in shorts and T-shirt and no one is going to mind or care what you wear. It is really the one industry where a dress code really isn't required. But as I am so vain and like dressing up, no one actually asked me, "why are you wearing a tie? This is for radio, not TV; you don't need to dress up nicely." No, rather, no one bat an eyelid about the fact that I wore a tie and only one colleague remarked to me that she liked my tie very much. Such is the way the Brits can be quite open minded about accepting people who don't quite fit the mould, people like myself who have never been in the habit of conforming.

I remember how I drove my parents crazy as a child when I refused to conform. I remember when I was about 12 years old or so, my mother wanted to buy me a shirt for Chinese new year. I thought it was absolutely hideous - I just didn't like it. My mother said, "but this shirt is so nice - look, all the other boys your age wear something like that, don't you want to be just like the others?" And I thought, yikes - what a horrible thought, to conform, only to be just like everyone else? Well my parents really wanted me to conform - as if that would bring me joy at Chinese new year? Now you can see why I felt like a fish out of water in Singapore where the culture celebrates conformity - it rewards those who are willing to conform and it frowns upon those who dare to be different. I suppose I was very lucky to have found a niche within the education programme where my individuality and creativity was allowed to flourish - it was the humanities programme at VJC and I particularly enjoyed TSD (theatre studies & drama) as a subject then. 

Media City, Manchester

Then I had a shock as I went from an environment where my teachers rewarded my creativity to NS - where they hated anyone trying to be an individual. Oh strip you of any semblance of individuality by first shaving your head, then they put in a uniform and you are taught to put your unit first before yourself. I remember being on this course during NS and it was a pretty simple course: we were given textbooks and course materials for everything on the syllabus. At the end of course, there was an exam and I remember doing quite badly in the exam. I was aghast as I thought there was no way I could flunk such an easy course. I requested to see my exam paper and I realized what had happened: I had been expected to memorize the model answers word-for-word and copied them out in the exam paper to get full marks. I didn't think that was necessary - I had memorized the key facts and used my own words to answer the questions. I didn't think that was so objectionable - it demonstrated a deeper understanding of the topic.

I had to point out to the examiner that I had indeed gotten all the answers right, it was just that I didn't memorize the model answers word-for-word. Begrudgingly, he changed the result on my exam - I think he didn't even read my answers to realize that I had all the key points, all he saw was that I didn't regurgitate the model answers. He said something like, "Why you so ghey-kiang for what? (Why do you pretend to be clever?) Book inside already got model answer - why you must invent your own? Next time I teach you a lesson and fail you!" I was actually quite angry. I thought that the fact that I had memorized the facts well enough to get all the answers right was good enough - but perhaps I had underestimated the culture of conformity in NS. Such was the nature of Singaporean society. He was more interested in getting me to conform than actually teaching me anything about the course material. I then found out that everyone else who took the test actually did memorize the model answers word-for-word. I was probably the only one who understood the syllabus well enough to express the answers in my own words: go figure. Duh.

It was never in my nature to conform.

Thus in this context, Jeraldine Phneah took a rather bold step in trying to post something quite different from what the others have been saying about LKY on her blog. Her piece was well researched and factually accurate - yet she became the victim of such a vicious cyber-bullying campaign that she was forced to take down her original piece (which I have since posted on my blog). Many people who read her piece are left puzzled as to what was really all that offensive about her content, but in the context of Singapore, the reason was quite simply that she had refused to conform - the same way the examiner had threatened to fail me for refusing to memorize the model answers. The default response (or model answer) was to write a long tribute about why LKY was such a pivotal figure as the founding father of Singapore and how Singapore would be nothing without him. Despite the fact that I had ORDed in 1997, little has changed in Singapore after all these years when it comes to dealing with those who dare to deviate from the model answer. That is disappointing - I had hoped that Singaporean society would have evolved.

Let's try to understand about the Singaporean mentality in this context. Firstly, there was this expectation that bloggers like Phneah should and must conform - now nobody could actually give me a really good reason why they had expected her to conform as such, but I think the answers can be found in my primary school. My primary school had a strict rule - there was to be no eating in the classroom and the only water permitted was plain water. This was because the teachers didn't want any sugary snacks or drinks in the classroom as that could attract ants and other insects. One day this girl (let's call her Sandy) was thirsty and took out a drink of water from her water bottle which was made of semi-opaque orange plastic material. The colour of the plastic made it look as if the liquid could have been something like orange squash or juice (see picture below). Sure enough, a few other students noted the colour of her drink and they promptly shouted, "teacher! Teacher! Sandy is drinking sweet drinks in the classroom! Sandy is breaking the school rules!" Our teacher rushed over immediately and upon inspection by the teacher, it turned out to be plain water but what shocked me was this knee-jerk 'report first, ask questions later' approach by my fellow classmates then.

Sandy's water bottle looked like this

Why were these students reacting like that? Perhaps they did so because they felt it was unfair - they had all obediently followed the school rules and had expected Sandy to be subjected to the same strict rules. Maybe they thought that by reporting Sandy to the teacher, they would win the favour of the teacher in the process. Or maybe they weren't even thinking - they were already conditioned to react like that from a very young age. Such was their relationship with authority and I just can't imagine this happening in a place like Europe or America. Oh this is a very Singaporean trait indeed. This explains the way why so many people attacked Phneah when it was perceived that she had broken an unwritten rule about conforming to the majority when it came to reacting to LKY's death. How many people actually bothered reading what she had actually written and analyze if any of what she said was unfair or inaccurate? No, they were just like the kids in my primary school who shouted for the teacher the moment they saw the colour of Sandy's water bottle without actually knowing the contents of the bottle.

I find this particularly disturbing for the following reasons: the students in the class were more than happy to get Sandy into trouble despite the fact that she really did not do anything to anyone else. No one actually asked Sandy, "what are you drinking?" Yet the other students shouted to the teacher as if she had done something really bad, without even taking a moment to consider if they were actually justified in doing so. Furthermore, the teacher didn't berate the students who reported on Sandy - she merely let the incident go, there was no attempt to change the mindset or behaviour of the students. Likewise in the case of Phneah, this is conformity taken to an extreme and completely gone mad. She is paying the price for daring to be slightly different, rather than having actually done anything wrong at all.

Sandy was drinking water.

So, please can someone tell me what Phneah is actually guilty of. Was she misrepresenting the facts? No, her facts were completely factually accurate. Was she insulting LKY? Definitely not, she had been very careful with her words. Was she insensitive to those who are grieving by claiming that she will only be a little sad? I don't think so - after all, grief is a very personal process. I have lost people I had cared for before and coming to terms with the loss of a loved one is a very personal journey you have to make: it is between you and the person who has died. You can have different members of the same family go through a very different kind of grieving process even though they have lost the same family member. It should not concern those around you and it should certainly not give you the right to tell people (whom you don't even know) what they should or should not say or when they should say it. Just because you are grieving doesn't give you the right to tell others what they can or cannot do or when they can or cannot do it. You simply cannot expect everyone to grieve the same way.

I hear the words said over and over again, "show some respect, the man has just died." Whilst I do have deep respect for LKY, on the issue of respect, I do believe that respect is earned, not demanded. You cannot order another person to respect this figure in authority or that other person - no, it simply doesn't work like that. Respect has got to be earned and if someone has no respect for LKY, then the fact that LKY has died is not going to change the fact that LKY has failed to earn this person's respect in his lifetime. Yes it is indeed very sad when someone dies, but their death isn't going to automatically change anything if respect hasn't already been earned during his/her lifetime. Get real. You can ask someone to show pity, compassion, even kindness - but respect? Is that really the right word to use? I would instead rather appeal to someone's compassion - even if you didn't like a person, you would at least show some sympathy and be considerate to a family who are already grieving and coping with the death of a loved one.

Is respect the right word to use in this context?

Furthermore, I have been told that in opening up a debate about LKY's legacy, I am showing disrespect and I am as bad as some nasty villain who is causing mayhem at a funeral. How utterly ludicrous is that? I am not anywhere near LKY's funeral, I am in fact sitting here in central London, eight time zones away. What I am writing is on my blog and it is not like I am posting insensitive messages say on social media where people could accidentally stumble across - no, my blog is for my readers who are interested to hear what I have say and if you don't like what I have to say then I have a simple solution: don't read my blog. And if I can't voice my opinions on my blog, then where else do you wish to censor? My private conversations between me and my friends? What I say on Skype or Facebook to my friends in Singapore? How about my private thoughts - do you wish to censor those too? No, you can't because you don't have the power to do so. It is ludicrous that I have to deal with so many haters despite the fact that I've merely stood up for the right for others to express an opinion - imagine if I had actually been critical of LKY.

Then there is the issue of when we can actually start talking about LKY's legacy and for that, I would like to quote another Singaporean blogger Chinton who has hit the nail on the head on this rather tricky issue:

Is there ever a right time to be critical of Mr. Lee? When he was still in his prime, no one dared oppose him too strongly lest they have their livelihoods destroyed. When Mr. Lee stepped down from the Cabinet, people remained silent because they wanted to let Mr. Lee live out his days in peace – judging him after he passed on. Now that Mr. Lee has died, critics are still being condemned for being “too early” and “too disrespectful”. I bet that twenty years from now, Singaporeans who speak up against Mr. Lee will be told that “this is old history. Why bring up past wounds?” It will never end. 

Is there ever a right time to talk about LKY's legacy?

I would like to add that if we simply allow the status quo (as described above) to stay, then nobody would ever feel that it is the right time to talk about LKY's legacy. What I would like to see is a far more mature response than blind censorship. If someone (like Alfian Sa'at) questions LKY's legacy, what should be your response if you don't like what he said? You're not obliged to agree with what he said, If you think that he is wrong and you are right, then by all means write your own response and send it into the ST or post it online - tell him what your opinion is on the issue of LKY's legacy. Launching a vicious tirade of personal abuse at Sa'at is not, however, an acceptable or mature response. Being very sad about the death of LKY doesn't excuse this kind of behaviour at all.

In any case, I have bemoaned the fact that many Singaporeans are unfamiliar with LKY's great works and some of my readers have even admitted to me that they are not interested in history. How on earth can you show deep respect for LKY if you can't even be asked to understand the contribution he has made to Singapore's development? Some Singaporeans even jump to the wrong conclusions and claim that Singapore was no more than a fishing village in 1965. Look, if you're not particularly interested in history, if say you're more interested in computer games or football - then fine, that's your choice and your life. But how on earth are you going to really show LKY respect at his death if you don't even know what he actually got up to in his life time? That's why I do encourage you to read LKY's memoirs.

How do you form your opinion on people you respect?

This does however remind me rather uncomfortably of some of the Christians I have encountered over the years. I'm talking about Christians who have never read the bible properly, they don't attend church regularly and have barely ever set foot in a bible studies class - they do know the basics about Christianity, they probably can tell you a few stories from the bible but at the end of the day, their understanding of Christianity is actually painfully shallow. But does that bother them? No, they simply take the liberty to fill in the gaps to create the kind of god that they'd like to have and at the end of the day, they're worshiping a kind of DIY god they've created to suit their needs. I may be an atheist but that's not why I am so cynical of such people. If you haven't learnt much about Christianity and still want to claim to be a Christian, then I ask, who are you trying to kid? God? The real god or your DIY one?

Likewise, I don't understand people who claim that they don't need to know Singapore's history in detail or even need to know much about LKY to respect him and feel sadness for his death. How is that different from the so-called 'Christians' who are worshiping their DIY god? What are you doing then - are you also creating some kind of hero figure for you to worship based on what little bits of information you have and then liberally filling in the gaps? That's why I say: if you really respect LKY, then please read his book. It will only take you a few hours. You may actually find many more amazing facts about LKY that will inspire you, then you will actually know whom you are respecting.

I am challenging Singaporeans to read more about LKY.

It doesn't paint a very nice picture of Singaporeans today. On a normal day, you wouldn't see any of these issues associated with intolerance but it takes a major event like the passing of LKY to bring such problems to the surface. This mindless herd mentality, this desire to make everyone around you conform is scary. It reminds me of less civilized societies where lynch mobs will murder first and ask questions later. Let me finish by stating this for the record once again: I don't actually have a problem with LKY, I have deep respect for LKY. It is the stupid, brainless Singaporean herd mentality that I take issue with. Feel free to disagree with me if you want, but I'm not criticizing LKY, I'm criticizing ordinary Singaporeans who have failed to respond in a civilized and articulate manner in this period.

Okay, so that's it from me on this issue. Once again, feel free to leave a comment and let me know your thoughts below - but keep it civil, please. I have had a few stupid idiots who think it is funny to hurl personal attacks in the last post - you are only making a complete fool of yourself if you do so. If you have to resort to personal attacks to make your point, then you're a stupid idiot. Thank you very much for reading - I look forward to reading your comments.