Just how badly wrong can auditions go?

Today I am writing a piece for my friend Alvin Tan (of Alvivi fame) who is currently in LA - I can see on his Facebook page that he has started attending auditions.  I'd like to share some of my experiences about auditions. I can share some of my worst experiences so he can learn from my mistakes and hopefully avoid some of those pitfalls! Watching that clip of Madonna falling backwards down the stairs during her performance of Living For Love in London just reminds us all of how wrong things can go in this industry. Let's start with some of my worst experiences.

1. Commercial Dance auditions 

I hate dance auditions so much but my agent keeps sending me to them. Ironically, I have had quite a lot of success as a commercial dancer in my younger days. Do you know what is the most vital factor when it comes to excelling at a dance audition? It is a memory game about motor learning, a bloody difficult physical memory game. Usually the dance routines themselves are fairly simple - the choreographers are not looking for circus freaks who can bend themselves in half or do multiple somersaults across the dance floor. Rather, they just want commercial dancers who are able to pick up dance routines very quickly. They are NOT INTERESTED AT ALL in what you can do as a dancer, They already have a very clear vision of what they want to create, they are just looking for dancers who can help create that vision in their heads already. So this is what will happen in a typical commercial dance audition.

Limpeh on a music video green screen shoot.

Let's imagine they are looking for a group of 3 dancers to do a big dance scene in a major feature film. Firstly. if you have a strong dance CV and a good agent, then you may be invited to the audition. If you have neither experience nor an agent, forget it, you're not even going to get the chance to audition. At the audition you would go into a big dance studio in a big group of around 30 to 40 dancers. The choreographer will show you a short routine that you are expected to instantly memorize. This is a ruthless process that will depend entirely on how good your muscle memory is: the steps are rarely difficult but you have to do it to music and they have to be precise because the other dancers are going to memorize them perfectly. The big group will then be divided in half and the choreographer will ask the first half to perform the routine, then the second half will do the same. At this stage, even if you haven't memorized the routine, you can cheat slightly by observing the other dancers but you risk being either slightly behind the music or worse, you could end up copying someone who makes a nervous mistake. This is usually when I identify the strongest dancer in the room and stay very close to him/her just in case I need to look at him/her. The process so far would have taken about 30 to 40 minutes and it is exhausting.

You would then be divided into smaller groups of about 3 or 4 and be asked to perform the routine. This is when the cull begins. If you make even a small mistake or if you are caught cheating (ie. you're watching the other dancers rather than reproducing the routine from memory), then you will be culled instantly. It is not usual for the entire group of 3 or 4 dancers to be culled at this stage. However, it is also possible for the entire group to sail through to the next stage. This is when they will cull anything from half to three quarters of the original group of dancers. So from a group of 30 to 40 dancers, you will be done to around 10 to 15 dancers after this stage. The next stage is when the dancers perform the routine solo and it is an opportunity for the choreographer to cull more people for other reasons: she's too short, he will not fit in with the rest of the dancers, her technique is a bit sloppy, or for whatever reason the choreographer can come up with. They don't need to give you a reason, they just have to tell you to leave. Oh and dancers don't get paid for the audition - you could waste an afternoon traveling to some dance studio far away only to be culled because you lifted your left arm half a second too late or forgot to take a step back during the routine.

So at this stage, we're probably down to about 7 or 8 dancers competing for the last 3 places - this is when the choreographers will finally say, "okay, here's your opportunity to show me what else you can do." Only at this stage will the dancers be able to put on their own music and perform for perhaps a minute or two for the choreographer something original, in order to impress the choreographer. This is when the choreographer is also looking for a reason to pick one dancer over another - if someone is able to show something special at this stage (such as tumbling, extreme flexibility or any other kind of circus skills) then this is chance to use it to stand out from the crowd. It is rare the the choreographer will make the final decision at this stage, the final 7 or 8 dancers will be sent home and the choreographer will have a think about what s/he wants to create and then make a decision within 24-48 hours.

So statistically, you have roughly about a 3 in 40 chance of success in this process even if you do get invited to the audition. The odds are not great and most people (including myself) succumb to stress during the cull when your brain simply freezes and you forget what the next step of the routine is. How difficult can that be? Harder than you think. Here, let's try a similar process: why don't you read the first four sentences of this paragraph again (starting at "So statistically") and feel free to read it a few times. Then, turn away from your computer/tablet/phone and try to say out aloud exactly what I wrote in this paragraph. I'm not looking for the general gist of the paragraph, you're not allowed to paraphrase anything, you have to regurgitate it word for word and you have to get the punctuation perfect as well. So it's not about how good your English is, it's just about having a photographic memory and really, that just isn't right.

My gymnastics skills have always helped me stand out at auditions.

This is why I hate dance auditions so much because the dancers who get the best work are never the best dancers, they are the ones who have photographic memories and can just memorize anything within a very short period of time. They are like robots and the choreographers love them because choreographers are not looking to work with divas who want to express themselves, they want to work with robots who will just do as their told without asking any questions at all. Ironically, despite me hating this process so much (and not being particularly good at it), I have actually somehow miraculously survived a few of these over the years and have gotten work as a commercial dancer - but it's never rewarding work. You're always a part of a group ensemble and people watch the group perform, you're not meant to stand out as a diva but be a part of the group performing together. But it is always good just to be able to say, "okay I am not particularly good at this, but I can do it if I work really hard and I have succeeded at it before."

Why is this process so focused on memory rather than dance skills then? This is because of money - yup it all boils down to money. You have to pay dancers to rehearse and each extra day or hour of rehearsals means having to increase the cost of the production. So many production companies are so focused on keeping costs down that they would rather hire a talentless robot who can learn a routine very quickly than a more talented dancer who may take slightly longer to learn the same routine. Obviously, I think this is wrong because you're sacrificing artistry just to keep costs down and whilst you may get a cheaper product by working with robots, you are missing the opportunity to create something more beautiful with more talented dancers. Hence I am extremely skeptical about this aspect of the industry - but I'm simply too old today at the ripe old age of 38 to do commercial dance any more in any case.

In the battle between cost vs artistry...

I would compare it to learning Chinese as a child - I hated Chinese and found it incredibly difficult compared to English, I never studied for an English exam and just always aced them but I had to spend so many painful hours revising for my Chinese exams. In the end, I would get As for both English and Chinese at the exams - but the amount of effort that went into the Chinese exam was always like a hundred times more than the effort that I put into the English exam. So yes, there are some people who a born with a talent of  excellent muscle memory when it comes to motor learning - that's slightly different from say memorizing facts for a history exam, we're talking about your body remembering exactly what the next step of the dance routine is. Some people will excel in such dance auditions whilst others like me can do it but with a lot more effort. Clearly, it is not one of my strengths but I like challenging myself and being taken out of my comfort zone once in a while.

2. Sight reading auditions

This is a term that is generally used in music, when a musician is expected to play a piece of music that s/he has never ever seen before. In auditions, it means walking into a room and given a script you have never seen before and be expected to perform it cold. It is a brutal process. I would usually cheat by asking as many questions as possible about the character like, how old is this character supposed to be? What is his motivation at this stage of the story? What is his relationship with the other character in this scene? What kind of social status does he have? Usually the directors would humour me by answering a few of my questions before asking me to just get on with it. I hate sight reading auditions as I usually suck at them - I like to go into an audition feeling very well prepared (I would often just memorize the script) and this just completely takes me out of my comfort zone because you are completely unprepared. If you're lucky, they will let you look at the script for a few minutes before you have to perform. If you're unlucky, you may have to read it completely cold. It's a brutal and nasty process - I hate it and dread it whenever I do encounter it.

It is always hard to do a sight reading...

Why do casting directors use sight reading auditions then? There are two main reasons: firstly, if this is for a part in a major TV or film project, privacy is an important issue. They may not be allowed to leak parts of the script (even if it is one page from one scene) to the public, that is how confidential and closely guarded the scripts are in this industry. That is why actors auditioning for such parts are usually made to sign an NDA (non-disclosure agreement) even before they are allowed to cast their eyes on the script for the audition and often, the script is not allowed to leave the room. So if they want to go to the toilet or go outside for a cigarette, they have to return the script to the receptionist - yes it is that strict. Another reason is because the casting directors simply receive the script way too late - they get the character breakdown, they arrange to the see the suitable candidates and they script is held up at the production end for some reason - only to be delivered to the casting director hours or even minutes before the audition. I've even turned up for an audition before only to be told, "could you go for a walk or a coffee and come back in like 30 to 45 minutes? We're still waiting for the final copy of the script that we're supposed to use for today's casting." Once I walked into the audition, only to be told that the script that I had been emailed is out of date and they received a brand new script ten minutes ago and that was the one I had to use - great.

Fortunately, I have not had that many sight reading auditions over the years but I can admit to having zero success with them. It is simply too stressful to perform a good performance under such circumstances. The huge problem with sight reading is eye contact. You want to be able to give your fellow actors (if any), the casting director(s) and the camera sufficient eye contact during an audition and if you're reading from a script, your eyes will have to look towards the page. There is only so much you can do to try to cheat your eye line and compromise this situation. One method that was suggested to me was that you should use your index finger to follow the words on the page, so that you will never get 'lost' when it comes to picking up where you have left off when you have taken your eyes off the page. That does mean however, that you are holding the script in one hand and using the other hand to follow the words on the page, your arms are completely immobile and that's not a good look for an audition. There's no easy solution.

Getting my hair and make up done on set.

3. "Can you do it in another language?"

This is such a nasty shock when they spring it on you. Sometimes, I am asked in advanced if they can send me a script in English and I can then translate it into another language at home. That often happens in an early stage of a production when the script is not finalized and the casting director isn't even sure if the character will speak English or another language in the final version. Once in a while however, I am asked, "oh can you do this in Mandarin instead?" And I'm expected to simultaneously translate a script into Chinese and perform it unrehearsed in another language just like that? It's a hideously difficult task of course because part of your brain is translating the words from English to Chinese, the other half of the brain is focused on performing the lines in Mandarin - talk about multitasking.

I have learnt my lesson - I have messed this up really badly before by taking the translation way too seriously, I have sacrificed the performance aspect of the audition by spending too much brainpower on trying to find the best words in Mandarin to accurately translate the script and I deliver a very flat or bland performance that is hardly impressive. That is a rookie mistake because it will ultimately produce a poor performance - they're not interviewing you for the part of a translator, you're there to prove that you're a great actor. So usually I just improvise 90% of it whilst paying heed to the general story of the scene, retelling the story in my own words in Mandarin: that way I get to focus on the performance aspect of the audition whilst effectively ignoring the translation aspect of the process. This usually works best if nobody in the room speaks Mandarin of course but if there is a Chinese person on the casting team (and that has happened before), then I have to make sure the quality of my Mandarin is respectable enough to please any Chinese speaker.

4. Last minute auditions

Yes your agent could get a call at the last minute and request to see you for an audition today. It may completely mess up your plans for the day but you rush there anyway because you want to get the chance to audition for this project. Your agent is only given very scant details like, "oh he doesn't need to prepare anything, we just want a chance to get to meet him in person." You get there and you realize, oh dear I am dressed completely inappropriately for the scene I am auditioning for or you want someone who speaks Japanese? Well I am Chinese, not Japanese. Usually, if an audition is scheduled a few days in advance, then you and your agent will have the chance to ask any question in advance so that you can arrive very well prepared. But during these last minute auditions - well, you never quite know all the details until you turn up. So it is always best to bring a change of clothes, different shoes if necessary and be prepared for any possibility once you get there.

5. Going into an audition in a foul mood.

Oh I can laugh when I look back on this one. I once arrived at this audition and was told I had to wait, that was fine - but the stupid receptionist messed up the order and allowed someone who had arrived later than me to go in front of me in the queue. I had argued with her and she said that she was so busy that she had no noticed what order we had arrived in and she couldn't remember whom had arrived first. Fortunately the other guy was nice enough to admit that he had indeed arrived later than me and offered to let me have his place in the queue so I could be seen first. The receptionist was completely unapologetic and her attitude was like, "oh I am so busy, come on I don't need this guys, why can't you wait a bit more?" Needless to say, I was pissed off with her as she was quite indignant in her attitude.

So when I went into the room, I already had a frown on my face and the first question I was asked was to give my name and agent to the camera. I supposed I was in such a bad mood that it affected the way I talked. The casting director then said, "That sounded a bit... arrogant." I thought, oh shit, I must have let it shown that I was in a foul mood. I desperately thought of a good answer for that and  replied, "That's your perception. Perhaps that's how it may have come across to you, but I would call that confidence, not arrogance. I wouldn't have bothered coming to today's audition if I wasn't confident that I would get the job." And he replied, "Now that definitely sounds extremely arrogant." And I thought, oh shit, it probably did. We're off to such a bad start that I may as well just cut my losses and leave now. So I went through my audition thinking that I had no chance at all - and what do you know? I actually got the job. Unreal. Sometimes you just never know with auditions like that.

So that's it from me on this topic. There are some rare cases where you can have a bad audition and still get the job - such as in my final story of my foul mood! But no, that is a very rare exception and not the norm. In the vast majority of cases and particularly when it comes to dance auditions, the moment you put a foot wrong, you have effectively eliminated yourself from the process. Likewise, you can feel like you've done a perfect audition and still not get the job simply because there was someone else even better than you. It is a very brutal process and I guess the more you do it, the more relaxed you become and the easier it becomes. At the end of the day, what is the worse that can happen? You just accept that you didn't get the job this time, you just have to move on with your life and wait for the next audition.. Please feel free to let me know your thoughts or if you have any questions about auditions. I am more than happy to answer your questions about the auditioning process. Thank you very much for reading and good luck!