So no, I won't answer personal questions unless I find them interesting, like if there was a point to the question, rather than just no more than being inquisitive or kaypoh about my personal life. So let me give you an example, here's a photo I took recently and shared on Facebook. It's me having a Malaysian Yusheng to celebrate Chinese New Year.
Like dude, this ain't Facebook. I even get a personal questions about things like my job, like - dude, I don't even know you - why should I tell you anything just because you have read my blog? Why do you need to know? And why would I tell you just because you asked? Or worse, I have even been asked how much I earn. Cue face to palm. Aiyoh. You won't believe some of the crass questions in the comments section that don't even see the light of day.
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| You won't believe some of the questions I am asked... |
The fact is the most popular posts on my blog are about notorious, infamous people: Alvivi, Anton Casey and Bernice Wong, Sun Ho and Kong Hee. Those are the six people who have attracted most of the traffic to my blog over last 12 months. This is what I do: I look at interesting people making the news and I offer my insight on their situation - it is a formula that works. Otherwise, I also offer useful advice on topics that concern my readers - from job hunting to winter clothing to further education to travel/holidays: those topics are always very popular. But to talk about myself is somewhat... indulgent. I'm not Xiaxue, I don't really think that my readers really care that much about me - but they love to hear what I have to say about the the issues that they're interested me. And if I can volunteer myself as an example or case study when talking about these issues, fair enough.
So it suffices to say that I have an active social life, I have many friends, I go to the gym a lot and hang around with the people from my gym a lot, I engage in a range of fun activities and my friends range from film makers to gay porn stars to investment bankers to high class prostitutes to doctors to actors to university professors. Some of them have very interesting lives, they have done things that I have never done and sometimes I share the stories they tell me. But guess what? That's my private life which I may choose to talk about when there is an opportunity to do so, if it casts light on a certain issue that I wish to discuss with my readers. But otherwise, kindly remember that you may know a lot about me through my blog - but I probably know very little about you (unless you're one of my regulars whom I have interacted with for a long time). I don't know you. It's nothing personal, but this is blogger - not Facebook.
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| I wonder how Xiaxue deals with inquisitive kaypoh readers... |
So please, just bear that in mind and realize how awkward some of your questions are coming across. It reminds me of those awkward Chinese new year interactions - you know, some distant relative that you see once a year (at Chinese new year probably) who then thinks s/he has the right to start interrogating you about your personal life just because it's Chinese new year. I should turn the tables on these people and answer them with an equally intrusive question.
And when I say leave a comment below, it should come with the disclaimer that intrusive kaypoh questions won't even see the light of day - that's why the comments section is moderated. Thank you! Gong xi fa cai.
Haha just read your post on Xiaxue and thanks for pointing out that many online Singaporeans are obsessed with prostitute. I bet they are obsessed with dogs as well. (A classmate said that I am a govt dog just because I appeared on TV.)
ReplyDeleteJeraldine Pheah is now in a huge controversy. I bet many people is going to name her a "whore" or a "crybaby" soon. Do look out for it.
I say it depends what you appeared on TV for - no one is going to accuse you of being a govt dog if you went on TV criticizing the PAP...
DeleteOh, dear. Now I am trying to recall all the stuff I wrote....
ReplyDeleteNo lah Di, I wasn't referring to you - the question which took the cake was, "what is your salary, one month u earn how much?" And I was like WTF? Piss off, none of your fucking business... but i just deleted that comment. Like why do people think they have the right to ask such questions just because I write a blog?! Di, you say far more intelligent things when you comment darling :)
DeleteDarling back at ya, Alex. LOL. You have become my guilty pleasure. Looking forward to my next guilty pleasure when Kevin Spacey's House of Cards season two is available on February 14th. Sigh. Need to get a life. Need to get a life ...
DeleteJust between you and I Di: did I ever mention that I was up for a part in House of Cards 2? They were doing a world wide search for a credible Chinese villain who dealt with the American vice president: dealing under the table, secret deals, bribery, corruption... I wanted that part so bad and I didn't get it, if I had gotten it, man it would've changed my life. But you know, I just have to accept it as part of the process, is the glass half empty or half full? I am just flattered to be even considered for a part like that.
DeleteThe fact is for any major production (TV, movie), if they have the budget, they will not hesitate to do a multi-city casting. It's usually LA, New York, London to begin with - but a multi-city casting doesn't mean an international casting. People in Singapore will never be seen by a Hollywood casting director as they just wouldn't look for actors from Singapore.
Just imagine if I did get that role in House of Cards 2... Imagine if they actually did like my audition...
Whoa! Imagine that indeed! To be even considered is major flattery. What fun that would have been. I was once an extra on that movie. "Passion Flower: It was filmed in Singapore. Bruce Boxleitner and Barbara Hershey. Made $60.00 for a whole day's work. That was just before I left Singapore. I think what you do is fun. You have a life outside of work. Good.
DeleteI just happen to be in the right place - London is such a cosmopolitan city that you can get any kind of actor you want in one place, even if your shopping list is for something like "a Chinese actor who speaks German well" - and there are few places you can find that outside Germany, London and New York perhaps, Amsterdam...? And as for HOC2 - fuck yeah, that would've been a life changer but I didn't get it. There have been a few casting for 'life changer/game changer' roles, like roles that would have made me famous, but I didn't get those parts. Still, I studied TSD at VJC back in 93-94 and I waited till 2004 before I had the guts to pick up courage to go for my first audition to try to get paid work as an actor. I waited 10 long years until 2004 because I actually lacked the confidence - I thought, no way anyone would consider me for any kind of paid work and now in 2014, 10 years later, I'm like, why the hell did I wait 10 years?
DeleteI was speaking to one of my best friends Pete last night - and I said to him, when I first started acting in 2004, I just wanted to prove to myself: can I get paid work as an actor? I won't know till I find out and unless I try, I won't know. If it does turn out to be a complete waste of time and I am rubbish, then at least I would have the satisfaction of knowing that I did at least try. I didn't even consider what I would do if I did turn out to be successful - I mean, I never thought I'd become a star or anything like that... I had a checklist to tick off - a list of things I wanted to do in my first 12 months (be in a movie, be on TV, be in an ad, be in a music video, be on stage in a theatre production, perform abroad etc) and I managed to tick each and every single one of those things in my first 12 years and I proved to myself, okay I am good enough to get paid work.
And that's all I need I suppose. I still get crap in the day job from my boss, but sometimes having a dream (or 2 - don't forget, I am still working on my language-learning app) helps one deal with the crap in life: cos I think, "I'm doing this day job to sponsor my artistic endeavors as well as my dream to create my own business. It is just a means to an end." With that thought in mind, it makes anything bearable. Sometimes we need to put ourselves in that position, to motivate ourselves to go further - it is important to have a dream.
Correction: "outside Germany" - That should read "outside German-speaking Europe, which also includes Luxembourg, Switzerland, Lichtensteien and Austria".
DeleteThe problem with our parents is that they never bothered to cultivate our interests nor gave us confidence to do so. Imagine if they had supported/encouraged your acting interest when you were younger. In my case, I loved writing and wanted to be a journalist. That was too far out for my mother, and she never approved of my choices. I floundered for years before I settled down into a tolerable career choice. I often tell my son how lucky he is. We are not rich, but I make sure he plays sports and music, and that whatever interests he has is supported within reason. Like last term, he wanted to join the volleyball team. I am not a fan of volleyball, but it was important to him. I had to drive him to early practices, but I did it for him. As long as I am able, and the interest is reasonable, I will; support him. He is taking ski-lessons for the next few weeks with his school. It costs $230.00 which I could use to pay bills, but I did not want him to miss out. Plus, it was with his teacher and classmates. If my mom had to make that decision, she would objected and refused to cough up the money. Pisses me off. I know I have told you to not wish for that "better" relationship with your mom, but your post above just hit me about my mom who really let me down in many ways. Sorry to vent. Now, for a drink...
DeleteMy mother went out of her way to snuff out my acting interest when I was a kid, I was scouted to appear on ETV (education TV - a locally produced series back in the 1980s for primary schools where the lazy teacher gets to slip in the video tape and have a cup of tea and let the video do the lesson) but my mother said no, he should be studying hard not doing this. I did eventually end up doing some TV work in my JC days much to the annoyance of my mother but by then we were at cold war and she knew she couldn't stop me. I remember being recognized in Takashimaya by a group of teenage girls after appearing on the RaRa Show back in the day.
DeleteAnyway, let me turn this around - maybe for a kid like your son who has everything handed to him on a silver plate with a loving, caring, supportive mom, he never has to fight for anything. When I got my role on the RaRa Show, I knew how hard I had to fight to do it (not the audition, I'm talking about parental disapproval) because they felt that the time I spent acting could have been spent studying for my A levels and I was not listening to them at all and doing what I wanted. So when you have to fight for something - it taught me how to cherish and value opportunities later on in life, when I had to fight, fight, fight to get what I want - it was a struggle but I was not afraid of struggling.
Maybe that's why people like you and I are so tough, we're fighters. That's one way to look at it I suppose?
Yes. I certainly do not take things for granted, and I sure fight my way through life. I believe that is also why people like you and me have survived overseas. Knowing that I have nothing to go back to in Singapore has helped me weathered the storms as first generation immigrant. Many of my friends have gone back home because they said they needed "family support". Well, there was none for me, so do or die, I had to survive overseas. Carp diem!
DeleteHave you ever wondered that chinese new year seemed to be the time where people were being "paid" (in red packet money) to give up their privacy?
ReplyDeleteI understand that this may come off as somewhat shallow in terms of transactional communications; but the possible breaches of personal space and getting to know someone better may have been occurring too much that they can't be ignored. What do you think?
Don't ask me about Chinese traditions - I have spent all of my adult life in Angmohland and I am relying on my childhood memories of Chinese New Year in Singapore to talk about this. Frankly, I'd have no qualm accepting an Angpow and still refuse to answer inquisitive, invasive questions because I see a difference between being interested in someone, caring for someone and just interrogating them to get some facts and figures out of them, to measure them against something. If you genuinely know me and care for me as a person, then screw the Angpow, let's just sit down, chat and catch up. If you don't talk to me all year and think you have the right to interrogate me over S$20 in your Angpow, then I'd rather say no thank you to the Angpow.
DeleteAnd as for the readers who wanna interrogate me about how much I earn, like where my freaking Angpow?!
Why did you call your yusheng a Malaysian yusheng? Are there regional versions of yusheng?
ReplyDeleteWell actually, there are - though what I learn about Yusheng is mostly from Wikipedia as I've not had a real Yusheng since 1997. That was the last time I spent CNY in S'pore - the box I was holding up in the picture had the label 'made in Kajang, Selangor, Malaysia'. The shop I got it from is run by a Chinese-Malaysian couple who buy loads of stuff from KL to sell in their shop, a lot of made in Malaysia CNY goodies in that shop.
DeleteIn any case, my Yusheng = more salad, more fish, less pickles = more healthy. I would put in things like celery and green mango - now celery is very Angmoh that's not a salad vegetable the Singaporeans would put in an Yusheng and as for green/unripe mango, that's very Thai. And I also have finely sliced sugar snap peas for the sweetness - again, you'll never find that in an yusheng in S'pore. I love sashimi and salad anyway, so CNY is just another excuse to put the two together.
Stalking is the greatest form of flattery. You just gone up the totem pole and earned another trophy that all successful bloggers have ��
ReplyDeleteI'm wondering if these stalkers don't actually have real friends in real life, you know, people they hang out with, see at the gym, go to have lunch with - so they treat people like me like real friends instead, just because they read my blog...
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