Giving someone the benefit of the doubt

Hi guys, a quick one from me for now - I had a tough moment this afternoon when I made a mistake at work. We're dealing with a new project and there's a lot of data and information for me to deal with, it is a bit of a steep learning curve to say the least. I stumbled upon a list of pension providers on the internet on the HMRC website and then I thought, oh here's a long list with all the useful information.

In my flustered haste (it was one of those afternoons when I was trying to do too many things at the same time), I had emailed my boss and my colleague that list - not realizing that it didn't contain the right information pertaining to our current project. Now my boss who is probably quite stressed today snapped when he saw that list and yeah, he could've said in so many words, "this list is not relevant", those five words would've been sufficient and of course, once I took a second look at that list, I realized at once that it wasn't relevant, my bad.

No, but instead he used some rather unkind words to me on email for having made such a mistake. I am not going to repeat what he said here, but I felt it was uncalled for... After all, we all make mistakes when we're in a hurry and it really boils down to whether he thought I made the mistake because I was plain stupid and didn't understand the project - or if I had simply rushed through the task in a hurry without actually reading the list properly to realize that it didn't contain the right information. Hand on my heart - it was the latter, but he made it sound as if it was the former and that's why it didn't feel good to read his email. Surely after having worked for him for such a long time, I have earned myself the benefit of his doubt when I occasionally make a stupid, silly mistake like that, no? Evidently not. :(

I like the show the Amazing Race and you often see this situation where the pair get to a challenge when the pair is slightly behind, they are so anxious about catching up that they rush into the challenge without fully reading the instructions, hence making silly mistakes which makes the viewer go, "No no no!  You're doing it all wrong, you have to read the clue, the instructions are in the clue!" More haste, less speed. Yup, that was me this afternoon with that list, I had rushed into it - but it just pisses me off that my boss is not giving me the benefit of the doubt.

What did I do? I took a deep breath and I apologized for my mistake - I conceded it was my bad, I had rushed into it and it was not the relevant information, but otherwise yes I did understand the task properly, it was simply rushing into it that led me to make that silly error. I also explained that I had only wasted about 15 minutes on the wrong list and that I would make up for it by making sure that my output wouldn't be compromised by that little 15 minute long detour I took with the wrong list. His reply was simply, "Sure." (I hope that's the end of the episode.)

What is the moral of the story? I guess it would be nice if people gave me the benefit of the doubt when I fuck up like that over what is such an elementary, simple error that was caused by my haste. But then again, look at how often that happens on the Amazing Race. I guess that makes me human, like everyone else! I know that, I just wish my boss would realize that too. I am not hungry for his approval, I just need to get paid and earn money at this company, I am not going to hang my self-esteem on his opinion on me - though yes, you can be sure that I have learnt my lesson and will be more careful with these data lists in the future.

Could you give someone the benefit of the doubt when they fuck up?

After all, what can you do? What is the alternative? If someone is going to assume you're stupid because you make a mistake like that, how do you react? Do you allow them to destroy your self-esteem and self-worth? No you don't. You can choose to challenge them, win their trust and respect back. You can choose to ignore their opinion. You can admit that you've made a mistake and ask them for another chance to prove yourself - but you do not crumble like a cardboard house in a hailstorm.

The next time someone you work with does make a silly mistake like I did because they rushed into a task, please be gracious and kind - do give them the benefit of the doubt, okay? Not every mistake was made because of sheer stupidity, intelligent people can rush into a task and make silly mistakes too. In the long run, you do not get the best out of people by hurting their feelings. If you are nice about it, I am sure they will appreciate your kindness in such a situation. Do leave a comment if you have thoughts about this story, cheers. Thank you.