So between Boon and I, we rattled off some of our favourite hawker dishes that we both enjoyed, we were only too happy to help. But rather than trying explain what they were, we walked with the Aussie couple from store to store, pointing to the various dishes being sold there. My friend Boon recommended some quintessentially Singaporean dishes: laksa, chilli crab, satay, sambal stingray, rojak, fish head curry and otak. These are dishes that I do adore too (apart from fish head curry, please give me a better cut of fish and not the head!).
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| A local favourite: otah (otak-otak) |
The Australians politely said no to all of Boon's suggestions for one simple reason: these were all very spicy and being elderly Aussies, they were not accustomed to spicy Asian food. What we would consider mildly spicy (like satay or rojak) was downright fiery to them. Boon felt hurt when the Aussie couple refused to try any of his suggestions, but I offered them non-spicy alternatives: chicken rice (without the chilli sauce), popiah (again, leave out the chilli sauce), chai tau kway (again, without any chilli sauce), bak kut teh, yong tau hoo (no chilli sauce please) followed by ice kachang, tau huay and bobochaha. Singaporean food doesn't have to be spicy.
I helped the Australians narrow down their choices to just a few items that they could finish between the two of them and even helped them order, because they wanted me to tell the hawker "uncle mai pang hiam hor, kum siah". I even taught them how to say, "mai hiam" (Hokkien, "don't want chilli") so they can avoid spicy food for the rest of their stay in Singapore. Whilst helping them order, I engaged them in small talk about where they had visited and where else they should go. They were singing praises about how clean and beautiful Singapore was, how easy it was to get around town on public transport and how it was a very tourist-friendly city. They had only great things to say about Singapore. After that, they insisted on buying Boon and I some popiah and chai tau kuay - how sweet, I thought. I guess Singaporeans are only too happy to offer advice on food without expecting anything in return, but there you go.
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| Singaporean chicken rice |
Boon glared at me as I sat down with the popiah and chai tau kuay. I asked him why he was refusing to touch either dishes as I knew he liked both popiah and chai tau kuay. "Angmor 的 popiah,我不要..." I looked at him and I was like, "Lr gong simi jiao ueh, simi Angmor 的... Popiah 就是Popiah what, simi Angmor ye popiah lah. Gila lah lr." ("What the hell are you talking about, what white man's - a popiah is a popiah, it is not the white man's popiah. You're nuts.")
It seems that Boon had taken offence at the fact that the Aussie had taken my suggestions but not his. He claimed that the Aussies had "kwa suay" (Hokkien: "looked down upon") our favourite Singaporean dishes like laksa and rojak. I pointed out to him that they were just sitting a few tables away, happily feasting on non-spicy young tau hoo, chicken rice, chai tau kway and popiah; and that they had just been singing praises of Singapore a few minutes ago. Boon then said, "Lr zai Angmor gong har, when in Rome, do as the Romans do - so when in Singapore, they should eat like Singaporeans and not claim that they cannot jiat hiam (hokkien: "eat chilli") what."
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| The Australians treated me to some popiah. |
I tried to explain to Boon that just because they didn't like some aspects of Singaporean culture or cuisine doesn't mean that they hate Singapore, are anti-Singapore or dislike Singaporeans. Heck, even Singaporeans don't wholeheartedly like every single aspect of Singaporean life. Boon would often complain about everything from the haze to NS to the transport system to the government to the education system - yet when an Australian said no to laksa, he couldn't wait to play the race card. Heck, even my sister who is as Singaporean as they come isn't fond of spicy food - whenever we go to the hawker centre, she would always tell the hawker, "uncle, gwa mai hiam hor, kum siah."
Boon then said that the Aussies listen to me because I spoke like an Angmor whilst they ignored him because he spoke like a Singaporean. How can I put this delicately... Boon had a very strong Singaporean accent which rendered his English rather hard to understand for the Aussies - it wasn't that they looked down on his English, they just struggled to understand him, especially when he lapsed into Singlish. So when he said, "de laksa inside got see hum one, very nice one." The elderly Aussie woman smiled awkwardly and said, "Sorry, the one what?" Clearly, she didn't have a clue what Boon was saying - after all, see hum is not even an English word, it is a Hokkien word.
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| Got see hum one, very nice, Limpeh suka jiat laksa! |
Well, before I could point that out to Boon, he accused me of being "hao lian" (Hokkien: pretentious or arrogant) by "talking like an Angmor". You see, Boon and I are Chinese-speaking Ah Bengs who usually didn't even speak to each other in English. Typically, we spoke in a mish-mash of Mandarin and Hokkien with a bit of English and Malay mixed in, aka Singadarin (our unique brand of Singaporean Mandarin). What was Boon expecting me to do, speak to the Aussie couple in Hokkien or Singlish? No, I had simply switched to a mode of international standard English when engaging with two elderly foreigners to make sure that they could understand exactly what I was saying.
Boon sulked and refused to touch the popiah and chai tau kuay - that was his gesture of protests because he was convinced that the two Australians were racists and looked down on him. Oh he took it very personally when the Australian woman didn't understand him and I was frustrated as I was unable to convince him that those two Australians were not racist. It was impossible to try to reason with Boon. I thought, fine be immature and childish if you want Boon, suit yourself. I shall enjoy the popiah and chai tau kuay on my own, more for me then!
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| Oh I love the Singaporean hawker centre experience |
Now why did I share this story from 1996 with you today? Whilst this story was from many years ago, I did encounter the very same attitude from another Singaporean blogger just last week - he had taken the trouble to write a piece about me on his blog, attacking me for being anti-Singapore. I tried to reason with him, I am not anti-Singapore or anti-Singaporean. I am very specifically anti-PAP. If you are amongst the 60.14% who voted for the PAP, then I have an axe to grind with you. But if you're not, then clearly I have nothing against you personally. Now here's the irony: this blogger isn't pro-PAP at all, in fact, he isn't a PAP supporter. Yet like Boon, he took it very personally that I didn't like this one aspect of Singapore (which he doesn't like himself). Now how ridiculous is that?
I recall the reactions I received from an article I wrote earlier this year about how people from around the world see Singapore. Sure the comments were overwhelmingly positive, but there was one Belgian guy who wasn't impressed by the HDB flats he saw as he was comparing it to the kind of housing he was used to back in Belgium. Oh Singaporeans reacted very, very angrily to that comment on Facebook and social media, accusing that Belgian guy of all kinds of nasty things, playing the race card. What? How can this be about racism? All he said was that he didn't like the HDB flats, what has this got to do with racism? How can you even turn this into a racist issue - and unless you personally work for the HDB, why do you have to be so defensive about the quality of public housing in Singapore?
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| Do you like HDB flats? |
This boils down to a phenomena known as confirmation bias - where people tend to favour information that confirms their beliefs. I have already talked about this in one of my previous posts, where my dad exhibits classic confirmation bias when it comes to his blatant racism about French people. Some Singaporeans are insecure and some are racist, when you get a Singaporean who is both insecure and racist that's a pretty bad combination that leads to them being paranoid about the way foreigners view Singapore. They will take a stance of assumed mutual hostility, ie. they don't like white people and they assume (quite wrongly) that there is no way a white person can possibly like them. Hence in this story, Boon was selectively picking any kind of 'evidence' to demonstrate that this two Australians 'looked down' on Singaporeans whilst ignoring any evidence to the contrary. Why do some people then assume that I am anti-Singapore or I don't like Singapore? Gosh, it couldn't be further from the truth.
Let me say it once and for all and please put it on the record okay? I don't hate Singapore. I am from Singapore, I was born and bred in Singapore and there will always be a very special place in my heart for the country where I came from. However, I have an intense hatred for the PAP and combined with a desire to experience all that this wonderful planet has to offer, I have ended up in different countries over the years (including a stint in Singapore in 2011). I am hardly alone in my intense dislike for the PAP - so if you want to attack me for my anti-PAP stance, then fair enough. Go ahead. But please do not accuse me of being anti-Singapore for I have never ever been anti-Singapore. The PAP does not speak on behalf of all Singaporeans - certainly, not all Singaporeans voted for the PAP (well 60.14% did) and many of those who are too young to vote actively support the opposition.
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| Well at least these Singaporeans are not afraid to talk about these tricky issues... |
So there you go, I have said my piece. I do get the feeling I am preaching to the choir, my faithful readers do understand me and I appreciate that. Those who hate me will ignore this heartfelt, honest statement from me and choose to believe what they wanna believe. Heck, I don't mind if people hate me, I never really cared about being popular - but I draw the line when people make up bullshit about me (as one blogger did, good grief). If you wanna hate me, please know what you're hating, whom you're hating and what I stand for - rather than create monster onto which you project all your insecurities, xenophobia and racism. Thank you for reading. Kum siah.
I've posted a piece condemning the government's lack of concrete action for the haze and been called all sorts of names. I'm still waiting for an intelligent rebuttal instead of terms like "dickhead" thrown at me.
ReplyDeleteI guess I know how you feel... There isn't all that much intelligence left within Singapore
What?!! You mean you don't embrace hazy Singapore? How dare you not love Singapore and the haze....??!?!!?
DeleteYeah I read your piece. I used to think that these idiotic Singaporeans attacked me in particular because I don't have a pink IC (and hence have 'no right' to have an opinion on anything pertaining to Singapore, according to them)... but why did they pick on you? Geez. Fucking idiots. May they choke on the haze.
Erm, I'm headed to Singapore soon - I hope you get a couple of heavy downpours before I get on my plane, I am going to several places en route before getting to Singapore and may just decide to squeeze in even more Asian destinations before I go to Singapore ... but I fly back out of KL on the 13 Aug, so let's see lah. I'm not going to let the haze stop me from seeing my family at the end of the day. I'll just avoid outdoor activities.
Wait long long! All of us here are also eagerly awaiting rain and none in sight.
DeleteMy only hope is that the incompetents at NEA have said that rain is unlikely.
Anyway I am surprised to see so many people defensive on behalf of our government. I don't think it's the usual PAP Internet brigade style of attacks either. Ah well.
There is intelligence lah, just that most of us have given up and resorted to trolling to get our point across or to kacau people with half a brain. We look forward to welcoming you back to our hazy shores, and remember to visit the casino since we are already in Genting, Singapore (and most importantly you can go in free without paying that $100 bullshit levy like a boss)
DeleteHi guys, let me make two points.
DeleteNR: I don't think people are defensive on behalf of the government, they're not defending the PAP per se, but they think they're defending Singapore because they think that a criticism of the government of Singapore tantamounts to a criticism of Singapore.
Clearly, that is not the case as the PAP doesn't speak on behalf of all Singaporeans - but there you go, I think it's a rather bizarre way of expressing one's loyalty or patriotism, but they simply think that if the foreigner (or the other party) doesn't like all aspects of Singapore, they will 'lose face'.
It's a very Singaporean thing - this fear of losing face. I don't get it - maybe it's because some people resort to wearing the badge of Singapore with too much pride? People like my mother for example - she has not achieved that much in her life time that she can boast about: no scholarships, no gold medals, no awards, never worked with anyone special or famous, nothing. Her biggest claim to fame is that her son went on to do all those things which she never got to do - so for her, she has to find her pride from being Singaporean. I talked about going to Bali the other day with her (which I will do from S'pore) - and out of the blue, she went into this rant, "Indonesia got so many islands, some bigger than Singapore but see - Singapore so small but so important, so rich, so successful, not like those Indonesians, you see we are so great etc." And I'm like, woah okay thanks for the geography lesson what brought that rant on? The haze? Why the sudden spot of chest beating? What do you get out of it? So when people like her are sooo reliant on this kind of chest beating, they assume this stance where they must defend everything and anything pertaining to Singapore's good name.
Onto Yoda's point next...
Yoda, yeah I have already been to the Casino at Sentosa (proudly going through the OVERSEAS GUESTS lane) and I was like, where's the free food? No free food:( LOL. I wasn't that impressed to be honest - I am not a gambler and I've seen plenty of casinos in my travels and I was like, so? What's the big deal?
DeleteI do hope you guys get a couple of heavy downpours soon, I am following the haze situation on the news via the internet and it looks dreadful. Sigh.
Prepare a mask. I don't think there is going to be any downpour soon.
DeleteWell, I arrive in KL on the 19 July - but I am staying with an old friend there for a while to do KL properly and you know I've not done Malaysia properly in a very, very long time, so the temptation is to do a bit more of M'sia before heading to hazy S'pore. It's gonna be more than a month before I set foot in S'pore and I am still working out leg 1 of my trip (Oman), then leg 2 (KL), then leg 3 (somewhere else in M'sia) before leg 4 (S'pore), then leg 5 (Bali) ... this feels like the Amazing Race!!!
DeleteI do realize that Singaporeans react very personally to this type of criticism towards their government or even just their culture. For example, I used to have a female friend back from university days, who would react whenever I criticize the PAP and the government, "Please don't criticize Singapore. We are Singaporeans." It does not convince me much. If we were to do so, then we would have to keep quiet for virtually everything, even social injustices.
ReplyDeleteHi Kev, see my reply to NR above about Singaporeans who have no source of personal pride and have to latch onto something greater. My mum is a classic example of that - nowadays she is all about praising god and how her god is great, her god is this and that and blah blah blah the stuff they tell her at church etc. I have a truce with her, I try not to criticize her religion and her country in the name of getting along with my mother and she doesn't judge me for being a hedonistic capitalist.
DeleteI second Kevin's observation of people making statements like "Please don't criticize Singapore. We are Singaporeans." Sometimes it is followed by personal attacks if one does not cease-and-desist.
Deletehttp://winkingdoll.blogspot.ca/2013/04/brunch-with-former-bureaucrats.html
Hi Limpeh,
ReplyDeleteI was wondering if it is unique to Singaporeans to take things so personally and to misrepresent what you wrote, or do you encounter people of this mindset in other countries?
Hi there - thanks for the VERY GOOD question indeed!!!!
DeleteSome people are far more defensive than others and some nationalities stand out.
PRCs (China - Chinese) can react in an equally defensive manner when I try to speak about the problems of their country (human rights, pollution, lack of democracy, corruption in the government, the sweatshops of Foxconn, the huge wealth gap etc) and they take it very, very personally. Why? Because they have a huge chip on their shoulders, they are so afraid that the people outside China will look down on them, not recognize their rising influence on the global stage - they are motivated by this ridiculous insecurity about their status, so they become very defensive.
Americans - not all, but some Americans, can act like that too when others attack them on issues like gun control, their stance on religion in the deep south, their private health care system etc. They can become ridiculously unreasonable and defensive and I'm like, woah, I'm talking about gun control, it's not personal...
In sharp contrast to the Chinese & Americans:
The Brits & Irish have a culture that is far more open self-deprecation and self criticism and we are not defensive at all and we'll probably join you to mock our Queen, our government and other aspects of our country we're equally embarrassed about.
South Africans are quite open as well, simply because their country has been through a big change in one generation from the Apartheid system to the current system - so they have already taken that big step to say, okay, this is wrong, time for a change and in so doing, they have created a climate of openness where people are willing to talk about change and criticize themselves.
I guess that principle can be applied to any country which has experienced change (I am thinking of the Arab Spring countries...)
But of course, I feel I should put a disclaimer here: I'm just talking generally, I'm not saying that all individuals in China or America (such huge countries) are like this or like that - I'm just talking about a more general perception of their attitudes.
Thanks for the reply. I am guessing that this difference in response to criticism in various cultures may be due to differences in our own sense of pride of the community? So perhaps in an Asian context, where community is emphasised over self, an attack on the community is perceived as a personal blow? Though that does not explain Americans' response to any criticism. May I know your opinion for this difference in response in different cultures?
DeleteYou're on the right track but it's on the other side of the coin. Let me explain, in this case, insecurity stems from a fear of being misunderstood or misrepresented, for example, many older Singaporeans are worried that Angmohs may think that Singapore is some kind of poor Asian country with padi fields and sandy beaches instead of the super rich country it is today.
DeleteSo it's not pride per se, cos pride is an internal thing, you can be proud of your country regardless of what people say, you can be proud and ignore them - you don't need to be provoked into some kind of aggressive defensive stance. But those who allow themselves to be provoked into an aggressive defensive stance are doing it out of insecurity, staying with our Singaporean example:
1. The Singaporean is worried that the Angmoh doesn't know how rich and modern Singapore is.
2. If the Angmoh is confused and thinks of Singapore as a poor Asian country like Cambodia or Indonesia, then the Angmoh will think that I am some unsophisticated suaku who works in the rice fields.
3. It becomes personal - it is not about national pride at that stage, it becomes "do you see me as a rich, first world citizen on par with you, or do you see me as a poor third world poverty stricken unsophisticated peasant?"
See how it slips from 'national pride' to being 'personal' very quickly?
In the case of the Americans, it is different - Americans have long viewed themselves as the world's no. 1 nation (team American, fuck yeah!), but they have had that position challenged many times in the minds of many people and they are insecure about not being able to hold on to it. In the 1980s, the challenge was from Japan and the future challenge could be from China. There are parts of America which are booming and parts of America which are depressed(well it is a big country) - so sensible, enlightened people will know that New York and California will always be booming, whilst cities like Detroit and other poorer states will always struggle to catch up.
Being such a big and diverse country, the richer Americans are worried about the bad impression that the poorer Americans, the less successful Americans will give the world - regardless of whatever internal problems they may have in the US, they still want everyone else in the world to think of them as 'Team USA #1" in the world. So a lot of this American insecurity also relates to this internal embarrassment which they may not be willing to admit to outsiders of their own people who are not the kind of Americans they are proud of, ie. poor, ignorant, uneducated, unsuccessful, lazy etc.
I hope that helps explains things.
It did. Thank you so much for your insight.
DeleteNo matter how intelligently you criticize, you will still kena left and right one lah. I am sure people have already told you, "Wah you go oversea now sibei hao lian, sibei smart etc" - I think its called Argumentum ad hominem (Attacking the person rather than the argument or something like that) - Pro-PAP Singaporeans have another strategy, which is to bring in other topics irrelevant to the specific argument the way your wife/girlfriend/mother complains about the 1 time you were late 5 years ago when you tell her not to be late for the 1000th time.
ReplyDeleteThis morning, I had an exchange that went something like this:
"WTF is gahmen doing, haze so bad construction workers still no stop-work order?!" - me
"Yah lah, everything PAP fault, how come they cannot indent the rain ah?" - Pro-PAP friend
"Focus on the things that you can do, not the things that you can't. Like in army, don't give problem, give solution understand recruit?!" - me
"..... no reply" - Pro-PAP friend
As you can see, there are two main strategies for most Singaporean arguments; either bring up other irrelevant topics, or sweep everything under the carpet and pretend you didn't hear.
There is simply no culture for constructive debate and you are either with or against - solly la boss, our culture just hasn't developed to a stage where we can feel confident about ourselves sufficiently such that if our opinions are attacked we don't take it personally.
Anyway, have fun in Singapore, remember to buy those masks and try to imagine you are in Genting instead...
I totally relate to what you have said.
DeleteYes I will stock up on the masks either in London or in Malaysia before arriving in S'pore as I know it's hard to find the N95 masks in S'pore.
I must say, the rain part really cannot blame the gahmen lah. They really cannot do anything mah. For the construction worker part, they should have do something and I think issue the stop-work order is the best approach.
DeleteWearing the N95 mask will not help because 1) Impractical. The mask limits breathing. Try running your 2.4km wearing that mask. You get the idea? 2) Cost and logistic. Every mask only have 20 mins of time limit. After 20 mins, you have to throw it away. It is not cost effective and can you imagine the logistic nightmare in ensuring all workers to wear the mask?
The companies doing the construction projects should have an insurance plan to cover these Act of God. If they scrimp on these expenditure and their work schedule was delayed, serve them right to pay for any compensation.
i do feel sorry for these construction workers, they deserve to be treated with a bit more consideration.
Delete