University Season Part 2: Great Expectations

Or rather, "expectations management" in the words of my reader Mr YS Ong. But that's a very interesting point which I shall explore today! Let's continue with part 2 in our university season, if you're after part 1, please click here. Now since Mr Ong has left me a rather open ended question rather than being specific about any of his own expectations, I shall be drawing upon my own experiences along side a number of other stories from people I have heard. I shall just deal with five points and I'd love for you guys to respond to them and we'll take it from there, okay?

1. Struggling with the best

This has happened to a lot of people (including myself) but I shall start with the story of my Scottish friend Brad. Brad was from a small town in Scotland and is undoubtedly a very intelligent guy - he aced his A levels and earned himself a place to read medicine in Cambridge. Back in his hometown, Brad had the reputation of being not just the smart student in the school but the whole town for he was the first person ever from that town to go to Cambridge or Oxford. He got used to being number one in his home town without too much effort.

Brad was the first student from his town to attend Cambridge.

Whilst this fuelled Brad's confidence, it didn't really prepare him for what he had to face in Cambridge. It was easy being the smartest student in a small Scottish town - but when he was in Cambridge, he was surrounded by the best brains in the world. He had to shift gears - he used to be very active in sports, but he gave all that up to focus on his studies. Whilst his friends went on fun holidays during the term breaks, he went to the library everyday to revise but still he failed his first year exams. He was then given the hard choice - he could either transfer to a less stressful, less prestigious university to continue doing medicine there, or he could transfer to the biology department and do a degree in the biomedical sciences It was a painful choice but Brad chose to stay in Cambridge - he has since graduated and managed to find himself a great job anyway. He's not a doctor today but is working in a related biomedical research field and he's doing pretty well in his new job. There you go - that's Brad's story.

As for myself - gosh, I struggled so much in my first year. I was so used to everything being such a breeze in JC but I crashed big time in my first year. My wake up call was when I was written a very stern letter in my second term warning me that if my grades didn't improve, I would lose my scholarship. And that was when I realized, oh shit - what I did in JC wasn't enough, I am now competing with the best brains from all over the world. That's when I began to work a lot harder. I shifted gears quickly, managed to improve my grades in my second year significantly and graduated eventually with a 2:1 (second upper). Phew.

Now I am not saying this to scare you - you may find that you perform far better than your peers in some aspects. I excelled in the statistics module, scoring an unprecedented 100% whilst some of my peers struggled to pass that module. I guess it was something about the way I was taught maths back in Singapore that made me very good with numbers - but I simply didn't realize it back in Singapore until I got to university. Now that came as a pleasant surprised as I always hated maths back in Singapore. Go figure. 

Be prepared to work hard at university before playing hard.

I am however, expecting you to be on your toes and be humble - do not underestimate your peers, especially if you are in a good university. There can be so many distractions and fun things to do at university, by all means play hard but don't forget to work hard as well. Don't expect things to be easy - and most importantly, you need to work smart, not just work hard - which brings me neatly onto point 2.

2. Shifting gears from JC mode to university mode

Okay, I am talking mostly about myself here so please don't feel offended if you think this doesn't apply to you okay? When I was at JC, I found that I could get pretty far with rote learning - what Singaporeans often refer to as 'mugging'. You memorize chunks and chunks of facts, figures, formulas, case studies, examples and you impress the teachers with this massive regurgitation exercise at the exam. I think it's a sign of "look teacher, this proves that I was a good boy who stayed at home and study and didn't go out and play, so I deserve an A". It worked in Singapore up till A levels - it didn't work at university. I had to do a lot more.

Now I can't comment on what you should expect at university - but from my experience, top universities are not looking for people who are expecting to sail through on rote learning. What's the point of that? They are looking to train young people to think independently, synthesize information from different sources and come up with better ones by combining these different ideas. I have observed that many Singaporeans find this a challenge as there is the culture of spoon feeding in Singapore - where the teachers prep the students for exams and hold your hand every step of the way. Don't expect that in the UK.

Are you prepared to think like a university student?

Let me point out the obvious difference: in secondary school and JC you're treated like a child, but at university you're expected to function like an adult. That means the tutors will trust you like an adult and neither hold your hand nor change your nappies when you shit yourself. In Singapore, you can always turn to a tuition teacher for help if all else fails (and many do) - but there is no such safety net at university. Of course, in a worst case scenario, you can always turn to your university should you really get into some kind really big trouble - but the bottom line is that you're an adult and should be expected to behave like one. Adults take the initiative to solve their own problems whilst kids run to their parents or teachers. This brings me onto my next point.

3. Learning to trust your own judgement as an adult

This is probably going to be your first experience with this much freedom, away from figures of authority. Your parents will be halfway around the world in Singapore and your tutors at university will treat you like an adult. Even when male Singaporeans were serving NS, they always had a person of superior rank to answer to . Well, be prepared for a clean break from all that. 

It is tme to trust your judgement as an adult! 

It's just the little things you know, I remember having to phone home to let my parents know if I was returning home for dinner and if not, what time I was expected to come home so they wouldn't be worried. Well all that will change at university, nobody is going to care if you have dinner or what time you go to bed - but that means taking responsibility for things like your meals, your finances and indeed your health. There will be no one to cook for you or wake you up in the morning - you're on your own. It is a great responsibility and the sooner you get used to it, the better you will function. It could be a shock to the system for some - but it boils down to good organisation. Do have some kind of diary system - whether you're old fashioned or high tech - you need to organize your life one way or another and be on top of everything. That way, when you have to make a decision, you have all the information you need at your fingertips to make the right decisions as you won't have the luxury to run to an adult for help.

What kind of decisions am I talking about? Well everything really - from where you want to live, whom you want to live with, what kind of mobile phone to get, how to manage your money, who your friends will be, what kind of friendships you develop, whom you trust and there's even love & relationships - and that's just the non-academic stuff! There's also what courses you take, what you do for your course work, what you wish to do research on, where you gain work experience etc - there's so many things you have to do for yourself. 

Can you manage your own finances?

With freedom comes responsibilities - take your responsibilities seriously and learn from your mistakes if you make them. This is an important first step towards becoming an adult - which brings me onto the next point.

4. Fun Fun Fun Fun?

Your life at university can be and should be a lot of fun! But please don't get carried away. Remember you're with students who are away from home for the fist time, so avoid the idiots who are easily pleased by doing stupid shit. Perhaps it is a stereotype, but there's no wind without fire: these stereotypes exist for a reason. There will be some British students who will be very easily pleased by drinking too much cheap beer in some pathetic looking pub, getting drunk and then waking up the next day with a hangover from hell. Perhaps back home, their parents wouldn't have put up with that kind of behaviour but the freedom to do stupid shit like that is too tempting for them. 

 

When you meet people like that, decline their invitation to go get drunk at the pub. By all means do socialize with people at the pub, but do not indulge in binge drinking - that's when you drink with the sole purpose of getting stupidly drunk. Oh no. You should be more sensible than that. There are far more fun and exciting things for you to do at university without getting drunk or turning to other forms of substance abuse like drugs. Let me tell you about a friend of mine - let's call her Ella. Ella is the younger sister of a friend of mine in media, she used to be the ultimate party girl at university - she was always going to the pub and clubbing, getting very drunk and waking up in some stranger's bed with no recollection of the night before. How did I show her the error of her ways?

Well, I was working as a choreographer on a music video and I needed a good female dancer - my friend suggested Ella and I gave her an audition. She was great and I used her - it was the first time she was actually filmed dancing on a stage, performing properly rather than making a drunk spectacle of herself at a club. She was a good dancer and I pushed her really hard in the rehearsals and she was surprised at how fast she was learning, how she was able to impress people with her skills.

She was absolutely brilliant in the music video and after that, she begged me for more opportunities to perform for the camera and I set her up with a dance agent in London. I caught up with her recently and she thanked me for changing her life. "After having performed in a proper music video, I managed to get work supporting a band on tour and performed on stage for huge audiences last summer of over 10,000 people. Compared to the kind of stupid shit I used to do whilst I was drunk, I realized man, if I am going to dance, I should be paid to dance in front of a huge audience who will appreciate how good I am - rather than spend too much money, getting drunk and then making a fool of myself in that state. I shudder to think what others thought of me when they saw me drunk back in those days, making an idiot of myself, vomiting all over myself in the street."

 

I raised the bar for Ella. I showed her how exciting life can be and how the stupid shit that so many students get up to is rubbish in comparison to some of the more exciting things you can get up to when you are willing to push yourself for more extraordinary experiences. Ella liked the attention she got from others - she was an attention seeker, but I helped her channel that energy in a constructive way as she was going down the path of self-destruction with binge drinking. Do not give in to peer pressure - yes we all want to have fun, but binge drinking is a pretty stupid way to have fun and IMHO it is pretty pathetic. There are far more interesting and exciting options than to get drunk at some crummy student union bar.  Don't wait for someone to walk into your life to raise the bar for you  when it comes to what you consider 'fun' - you set that bar as high as you want it to be.

5. Small town vs big city culture shock

Unless you're coming to London, any other city or town in the UK is going to come as a major shock to your system. The only city in the UK larger than Singapore is London - every other city/town is going to feel very small in comparison! You will get used to shops closing at 6 or 7 pm in town centres, even earlier outside big cities and wondering down a high street after 7 pm would be quite a quiet affair. Only places like some supermarkets, restaurants, cafes and pubs are opened till 11 pm or midnight and many are shut on Sunday - again, big cities like London and Cardiff are not too bad but small towns are pretty shocking. Many small town centres are pretty quiet on Sundays! Mind you, I visited the new Westfield Mall in Stratford next to the Olympic stadium last night and it will blow any mall in Singapore away - so these super malls do exist, just check their opening hours before planning your shopping trip. 

Big shopping centres do exist - it's just that they close early, at like 6 or 7 pm.

There are many things one takes for granted in Singapore - take the public transport system for example. I never bothered to learn a bus time table or a train time table in Singapore - I just presumed that if I wait at the bus stop, a bus would come along soon enough or if I went to the MRT station, a train should show up in a matter of minutes. In the UK, I would always check bus and train time tables when planning any major journey to avoid waiting a long time as these public transport services are less frequent, particularly in the evenings and weekends.

Likewise, Singapore is a city that doesn't sleep much. You can feel peckish at 3 in the morning and find a 24 hour coffee shop in full swing, full of customers as if it was in the middle of the day. The range of food options in the UK are a lot smaller than in Singapore - people tend to eat out less and when they do, the range of options are a lot smaller. What I love about Singapore is the range of options at the lower end of the scale - in places like food courts and hawker centres whilst in the UK, food courts are rare and you tend to find names like KFC and Burger King at the food courts rather than Asian food.

If you do want Asian food, then you will probably end up at a restaurant rather than a food court and these could be expensive - unless you go to a take away. But remember, Asian food is considered a premium option - it will always be more expensive than local food. The cheapest option is always going to be some kind of fried chicken place - now in Singapore, the fried chicken market is dominated by KFC, but in the UK, you will find all kinds of imitation KFC outlets like Texas Fried Chicken, Mississippi Fried Chicken, American Fried Chicken, Alabama Fried Chicken, Krunchy Fried Chicken, Southern Friend Chicken etc - same fried chicken at the end of the day, just cheaper than KFC which is considered the original fried chicken. Other healthier local options include things like sandwiches, pasties, pies, salads and soups. Yes I miss laksa, satay and popiah but British food isn't as bad as you think. 

You will eat a lot of fried chicken in the UK I promise you. 

It's not to say that food is expensive per se, but you will get used to different kinds of food. I was in Dagenham in East London recently and in a place like that, you can get say a chicken burger, fries and drink for £1.99 (S$4) which is pretty okay when you compare that to what you'll pay for fast food in Singapore. I note that a McDonald's McChicken Meal in Singapore is S$4.50 - so it's about the same really. However, it would be more expensive in central London - food itself isn't expensive, eating out is. So when you go to the KFC in Leicester Square in the West End of London, you're not paying for the chicken per se, you're paying for their rent in such a prime central London location. Oh and a lot of people will think about fish & chips when it comes to British food - fried chicken is far more common as chicken is very cheap but fish is actually relatively expensive compared to chicken. A portion of fish & chips will about two to three times more expensive than a portion of fried chicken & chips.

You get the idea - you'll probably just change your lifestyle, less shopping and eating out - more spent doing other things like sports, talking walks in the park or woods, spending time with friends, making meals at home. If you try to live a Singaporean lifestyle by Singaporean standards in the UK, then you're going to get frustrated by everything. For example, many people in rural parts of the UK turn to shopping online because of the limited shopping options they have locally - but many Singaporeans like the experience of visiting a big mall on Orchard Road and having a different kind of retail experience. You can still access the same amount of stores online at any time via the internet, but it is a different kind of experience. You know your life is going to change by moving to a new country - just go with the flow with an open mind, be flexible and adaptable. Be prepared to embrace new experiences and cope with the changes in your lifestyle, really, you won't even miss shopping on Orchard Road at 9:30 pm that much.

Less time in the malls, more time taking walks in the countryside - is that a bad thing?

Here's my theory: do you know why Singaporeans (and the people of Dubai, where I have worked) are so addicted to their big air-con malls? It is because the weather is so ridiculously hot, you can't do anything outdoors without dripping with sweat within minutes. I know that feeling when I am just about to step out of a cool air-con environment into the humid mid-afternoon heat in Singapore and you're literally thinking "oh no!" in your mind as you brace yourself for that uncomfortable sweaty stickiness to hit you like a brick wall once you step through those doors. Guess what? Say good bye to all that in the UK. Welcome to comfortable, cooler climates where you get to enjoy the great outdoors without sweating like a trooper. You will love the weather here I promise you and it will make you hate the weather in Singapore even more. It only really gets hot here in July and August (we're talking high 20s, it rarely ever exceeds 30 degrees in the UK) and that's just two months a year of hot weather.

So there you go, that's my five points on expectations and how to manage them. What do you think? What are your expectations and/or experiences? Leave a comment and let's talk about it. Thanks!