"Hey Limpeh, Please don't publish this comment. I was trying to find your email address but can't seem to find it so I guess this is the only way to correspond to you in a "private" manner.
I'm still coming to terms with myself but I would like to ask you to, if possible, please write an entry on homosexuality and homophobia in the places you've been to. I'm curious as to the level of acceptance people worldwide have for "queers" (boy, I do hate that term). And if you could juxtaposition it with Singapore, it would be the best."
I have a really busy day ahead of me and it may be this weekend before I can do this post any justice. I was trying so hard to finish my post on Marslow's hierarchy of needs as applied to Singaporean food and I've only just managed to get that one out! But in the meantime, I did talk about sexuality in a previous post: http://limpehft.blogspot.co.uk/2012/01/singaporean-parenting-again.html
So please bear with me and I will write something for you soon, cheers. In the meantime, if anyone else has anything to say about what it means to be gay in Singapore - do leave a comment, thanks! Kum siah!
Hi Limpeh, can't wait to read your post on homosexuality!
ReplyDeleteWell, my personal views on this matter is that although Singapore is still a very conservative society, it is still pretty safe to be gay as long as you don't do very blatant things like having sex in public (which of course no sane person would do regardless of where they are, I assume).
There may be many who do not accept homosexuality but most Singaporeans are too polite to voice it out and many simply look the other way. So in terms of safety, I would think it is quite safe being gay in Singapore.
Acceptance however is another issue. While people might look the other way, it does not matter if it is a stranger. But coming out to friends and family members could be extremely difficult because many are still finding it hard to accept homosexuality. They know it exists, but somehow don't seem to be able to accept it existing in their close friends or family.
And lastly, laws protecting the homosexuals in Singapore is of course, almost non-existent. There are no legal rights of a homosexual partner at all, no marriage laws, nothing if a gay couple wants to buy a flat together, etc etc, things are just not on equal standing with straight people.
So, this is my point of view.
Yeah I am working on it at the moment and I am trying to find interesting angles - the main one that I went for is that of law & order and the irony that there is more gay-hate crime in place like England where we have far more progressive gay rights law but an underfunded police force; whilst in places like Singapore and Dubai, the police force is well staffed, well funded and protects all the citizens gay and straight alike from all crime, regardless of the government's homophobic attitude.
DeleteFor me though (and correct me if I am wrong) - I think Singapore is unique because people are still (by and large) very, very obedient and law-abiding. So there needs to be a top-down approach, ie. if the government say cannot (S377A), even if it is not actively enforced, it is a rule officially on paper, in black & white, so Singaporeans will say, if it is in black and white that it is illegal, then it is morally wrong, it is criminal, it is bad. Doesn't matter whether S377A is enforced or not - it still impacts on the mindset of the people.
Don't get me wrong, it is fabulous that Singaporeans are so law-abiding, that's why we have created a gracious, polite society because people fall in line and do what they're told (well, the PRCs don't but the locals do) - which is why repealing 377A is so important in Singapore when it comes to acceptance by close friends & family.
Will work on it, also received another request to do a post on this: http://www.helpalvingetintoschool.com/
So much to write!!
As far back as I can remember there was awareness of homosexuality in my family. I truly love all of my family members. Ever since my childhood, in my mind, I do not actively or passively discriminate any of my family members.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, today I am very ashamed to admit that despite my most sincere efforts, I constantly catch myself exhibiting homophobic traits. It really boggles my mind why I can accept my own family members who are not straight but reject my peers who are gays.
Maybe I am “queer” in this respect and born this way?
Bullshit Joe. There is no justification for any kind of bigotry - not racism, not sexism, not homophobia. Don't gimme the bullshit that you're born to hate. Hate and bigotry is a nasty thing and you have no justification. Shame on you. Shame on you.
DeleteHow would you feel if I say I am just born to hate ignorant idiots who try to justify their bigotry? Tough shit, I was born this way - that's why I don't put up with people like you. How would you feel if you were victim of racism, say if a white person decides that he hates Asian people and claims "oh despite my most sincere effort, I constantly catch myself exhibiting racist traits - I guess I am just born to be racist." Bullshit. Do you know how fucking stupid and ridiculous what you have posted sounds? Fucking hell. Do you even read what you write?!
DeleteI may not be eloquent with my words or my IQ might not match yours but my impression of your reply seemed angry. If you find my comments offensive I am very sorry.
DeleteDo feel free to delete my comments.
My only solace that I can offer is that I am truly and sincerely trying to be a better person in this respect. I do not have any intention for any ill will.
You are even worse than those people who use their religion to justify their homophobia - you don't even know why you hate gay people. Good grief.
DeleteYour comments are indeed very offensive Joe, but I am not going to censor or delete your comments because it is important that we talk about the issue and you need to think about:
1. why you are homophobic
2. how you would feel if you were the victim of bigotry, eg. racism
It is extremely unpleasant to be hated, to be a victim of bigotry - any kind of bigotry cannot have any kind of justification. If you want the world to be a better place, if you want to be a better person, then you have to stop making excuses and start realizing that it's not just gay people you are offending when you are being homophobic, you are offending all people - gay and straight alike - who stand against homophobia and bigotry.
This is why I have to get on your case and say, Joe, stop it, this is not acceptable. You have to question yourself and take responsibility for your actions and your thoughts if you want to be a better person.
I cannot impose on how you want ot manage your blog but I would like to take this opportunity to plea with you not to crucify people like me with words because of being ignorant (I currently cannot think of another word ... sorry).
DeleteI believe I can consciously control the way I react when it comes to matter of homosexuality outside my family. However I suspect I need a little bit more time and effort to control my feelings.
You have some nerve trying to portray yourself as the victim here. What about you crucifying gay people with your homophobia? I discriminate against stupid, ignorant, bigoted people the same way to discriminate against gay people.
DeleteYou need to think about how other people are going to react to you when you display such ignorance, bigotry and intolerance. Certainly if I met you in real life, I would not be your friend. If I was your friend already, I would unfriend you immediately - why? Because life is too short, it's not my duty to educate you, I'd rather just fill my life with open minded, tolerate friends who will say no to any kind of bigotry. Shame on you.
*typo - second last line: "tolerant friends", not 'tolerate friends'
DeleteI think I should end my contribution to this. Thank you so much for giving me this opportunity to express myself.
DeleteFor what it is worth, I have learnt so much from you and I am grateful for it. I wish you only the best.