Hi guys, I have received some good news from Singapore this week and it is about my nephew: he has been classed as PES E - now for those of you unfamiliar with the system they use in Singapore to classify enlistees for national service, allow me to explain the PES (physical employment standard): it is a system that has been used for decades to decide just how fit you are as a soldier and that then determines the kind of role you will be assigned during your time in national service. It is a complex system that runs from PES A (the most fit) to PES F (totally unfit for any kind of service, resulting in total exemption from NS). However, there are many subcategories like B1, B2, B3, B4 and BP depending on the severity of your medical condition and thus to be graded PES E, it means you're considered to have such a severe medical condition that you're only going to be given non-combat duties and whilst you still have to serve your full two years of NS, you're likely to have a far easier time than those with a higher PES rating. My first reaction is that of relief of course, I clearly don't want to see my nephew suffer during national service and a PES E rating is possibly the best outcome that one could have hoped for. He isn't exempt (we never thought he would be), but I had originally thought that the SAF would simply ignore his autism altogether and classify him as PES B but no, I was wrong. In fact, the SAF totally erred on the side of caution and they classified him as PES E much to my surprise because there's nothing physically wrong with my nephew (apart from mild myopia, which requires him to wear glasses) - he is physically fit and strong but like me, he is autistic and has Asperger's syndrome too. So it is actually a mental health issue - not a physical condition.
There's one thing I need to make clear: my nephew's parents didn't do anything to try to get him a lower PES classification, they merely submitted all the medical reports pertaining to his condition (as required by law) and these were medical reports produced by the doctors and other medical experts who have treated my nephew over the years - there was ABSOLUTELY ZERO input from my sister and her husband in this process and it was entirely on the basis of the medical reports that the PES status was determined. I know of too many parents in Singapore who would go as far as to bribe doctors to try to exaggerate medical conditions just to increase the chances of their sons getting a lower PES status, in a desperate bid to spare them hardship in the army but this was definitely not the case this time with my family. We simply followed due process in a very Singaporean way, obeyed all the rules and this was the result the system had given us. But in any case, I think my family is way too Singaporean to even contemplate trying to bend the rules to influence the outcome in their favour - no, that's just not the way they are. But it is what it is, I am both happy and relieved at this outcome, so my nephew will have a few months of rest before he has to commence his NS in March 2022. He will still get the benefit of the experience of having to live and work as a soldier - that would definitely be the kind of environment whereby he would be forced to develop much better social skills quickly, that was exactly what I went through back in the day. But at the same time, I'm just relieved that he will be spared the worst of the physical hardship experienced by too many Singaporean men who have served NS - it is a point that I don't think my nephew appreciates.
This does actually fill me with some confidence in the system actually because I remember what it was like in the 1990s when I did NS; I knew of this guy (let's call him Yeo, not his real name) who wanted to get a lower PES status - he was obese and wore glasses but there was really nothing that wrong with him to warrant a PES downgrade. Thus Yeo had the audacity to 'act crazy' - he started doing all these things to get the attention of his officers, such as by standing on the ledge of the top floor of the building, crying hysterically and threatening to jump. He was immediately put into a mental institution and given PES E as a result of that episode; he was so pleased with his performance that he started boasting about it to people like me (whom he didn't even know that well) and soon, word got round that Yeo really wasn't that crazy after all and was even bragging about how he had fooled the doctors, psychologists and other experts in the SAF. So he was then dragged off to the detention barracks (the equivalent of military jail) for a few months for malingering, before being upgraded back up to PES B2. This begs the question: why was Yeo downgraded in the first place? If Yeo had been smarter, kept his mouth shut and his head down, would he have gotten away with it? If that's the case, then why didn't more people 'game' or 'cheat' the system back then, if there were so few checks and balances in the system? What is the system supposed to do with people like Yeo then? Were his parents complicit in his bid to get a downgrade like that? How would the system treat Yeo today if he tried to pull off this 'acting crazy' stunt in 2021 to get a downgrade?
Ironically, my nephew wasn't happy at all with the situation, much to my surprise! The main reason was that he hated the idea of people thinking that there was something so wrong with him it warranted a PES E status. Mind you, back in the day, I remember this guy in my unit (let's call him Weng, not his real name) with a severely deformed rib cage: it was just something he was born with but the first time Weng took off his shirt in front of us, he had to say, "guys I know you're going to be shocked, so I'm just going to get this over and done with, I know my rib cage looks really freaky so look away if you don't want to see it." I was lost for words when I saw the state of his rib cage and I recall someone else in the room asking Weng, "so does it affect the position of your internal organs if your rib cage is like that?" Weng was PES C2 for crying out aloud, in spite of his shockingly deformed rib cage - that was how strict the system was back then and you had to be seriously disabled before you were given a PES E rating. Therefore, I can appreciate that there might be some concerns on the part of my nephew that having a PES E rating might come with some stigma from his peers but I imagine that a lot of them are actually secretly jealous of him at this stage. I suppose if you see someone who is healthy, physically fit and has no obvious physical disability being given a PES E grading, you would then automatically start wondering why this person has that PES E status. My reaction is "that's between them and the SAF's doctors, his medical records are private." But I can appreciate my nephew's concerns that others may not take such a mature attitude towards a matter like that, especially given how many guys would be totally consumed by boredom during their NS stint.
I remember I did meet one guy who was PES E back in the day, his name was Paul and I wasn't close to him but he was a nice enough person. He came from a rich family and had his own car so sometimes he would give me a lift (oh I was very grateful for that). Besides, Paul had spent part of his childhood in America and I found that thoroughly fascinating: I remember how I would ask him questions about what it was like going to school in America and he would gladly indulge me. Everything he had experienced in America was so different from what I was used to in Singapore from the education system to the kind of after school activities and of course there were the cold snowy winters. We had plenty of talk about and he had planned to return to the US immediately after he finished his NS. So even though we were quite close, I never found out why Paul was PES E - the closest I ever got to that was asking a colleague and the colleague said, "Well, different people have said different things about Paul but since I don't have access to his medical records, so I don't want to speculate - I don't know." I wanted to know because Paul seemed quite healthy to me, okay he was a bit overweight but I guess I was just curious (like everyone else) about what kind of medical condition he had to warrant that PES E rating. But no, I was tactful enough not to ask him - I recognized that it was really none of my business and most of all, Paul was one of the few people in my unit I got along very well with thus I wasn't going to do or say anything stupid or tactless to ruin that friendship. Therefore I was quite happy to live with the fact that I never found out why Paul had a PES E rating, that didn't affect our working relationship or our friendship at all and I cherish the friendship I had with him.
In response to my nephew's concerns, I would simply respond by taking the 'don't look a gift horse in the mouth' attitude - that means you shouldn't find fault with something that has been received as a gift or favour. It is what it is and I wouldn't challenge the decisions made by a higher authority, certainly not in this context. When you're placed in any situation, the first thing to do is a cost-benefit analysis to weigh up if you should accept the status quo or if you should try to change things; hence the benefit of accepting the status quo is that my nephew would be spared a lot of the physical hardship that other soldiers of a high PES status would have to suffer but the cost of it would be any possible bullying and stigma he would have to suffer if people around him start talking about his PES status. The cost of challenging (and changing) his PES status would be that physical hardship that he would have to go through but by the same token, that would mean not having to face any stigma or possibly bullying relating to his PES status. However, as someone who has done NS (albeit a long time ago in the 1990s) I have to point out a blind spot in my nephew's logic: let's say we successfully challenge his PES status and he gets upgraded to PES B1 and let's assume he's happy to endure any hardship that may come his way during NS as a PES B1 soldier, would that guarantee that he would be spared any kind of bullying or social conflicts on the basis of his higher PES status? Of course not, humans are horrible - people will always find a way to hate each other and there will be definitely be some kind of conflict regardless of his PES status through his NS, therefore his PES status is but a red herring. Thus the only logical response to this situation would be to simply accept the status quo.
So allow me to make a comparison using the popular game Blackjack. The objective of the game is to get as close to the total of 21 as possible using a combination of a minimum of two cards. Say you have drawn the cards 8 and 9, given you a grand total of 17. It is not an ideal position to be in because it is quite possible for others in the game to have a number closer to 21, but drawing another card is a highly risky move as you need to draw a card with the number 4 or smaller in order to stay in the game and improve your chances of winning. The moment you draw a card that is 5 or bigger, you will exceed 21 and immediately crash out of the game. So out of a possibility of 13 cards you can draw from Ace to King, only four of them would improve your position in the game and nine of them would make you lose instantly - so given the poor odds of improving you position, you have little choice but to choose to hold your position at 17 and hope that others have worse luck than you. The key thing when you are in such a situation like this is not to focus on what your ideal outcome would have been and instead focus on what the most rational next step ought to be. Sometimes you just have to accept the cards you have drawn and then try to make the best of the situation rather than think about "what could have been". In a recent post, I talked about some of the problems I have been struggling with in my current job - I've also drawn a 17 in this game of Blackjack. Things aren't perfect, things aren't deal but the sensible next step is to hold on to what I have and try to make the best of the situation rather than chuck all the toys out of the pram by quitting just because things aren't perfect. For what it is worth, I think my nephew has drawn pretty good cards in this game of Blackjack - he probably has 17 in my opinion; sure it isn't a 21, but it's actually pretty good and so he shouldn't complain.
So that's it from me on this issue, what do you think? What kind of relationship do you have with the PES rating system? Do you think it is harsh or is it fair? Did my nephew's PES status surprise you? Have you ever met someone like Yeo? If you ever befriended someone like Paul whom you knew was PES E, would you be tempted to find out why he was PES E or could you quite happily live with not knowing that piece of information? Why is my nephew unhappy with his PES status - does he have good reason to believe that he might have to face some stigma associated with being PES E or is he just because a difficult teenager who is impossible to please at this stage? Do you know of anyone who was PES E and did you ever find out the reason behind their PES status? Please leave a comment below, many thanks for reading.
Hi Alex, thanks for sharing this. Your concern of your nephew being subject to stigma is definitely valid.. but as you mentioned it really depends on those people who would be around him. No doubt it's the army, but the youths are more open nowadays and there are more than one way to connect and socialise. As to your nephew, now he can focus on gaining some experience in office setting which would be more useful in his life after ns.
ReplyDeleteHello there IA, thanks for your comments and please allow me to make the following points.
Delete1. Back in the 1990s when I did my NS, we didn't have fancy mobile phones - we had to speak to each other in order to have social interaction. I can just imagine these young men these days with zero social skills, barely acknowledging each other; instead they have their eyes glued to their phones and are far more interested in their social media feed than the people around them. Actually, that's a good thing in this context because it means that the people around my nephew are far more likely to be oblivious to his PES status than in my time, because they would barely talk to him, much less take any interest in the details of his personal life (such as his PES status) and so he would be left alone (rather than face any kind of stigma).
2. If you are telling me that young people are a lot more open minded about mental health issues and thus are more enlightened, then that's a good thing for my nephew of course.
3. PES E doesn't necessarily mean an office based job - there are still a whole bunch of non-combat vocations that PES E enlistees can get assigned to. But I don't have a crystal ball, I can't predict what may happen once my nephew starts NS. I can only hope for the best with my fingers crossed. Good luck to him.
4. I think that the aspect of my nephew's development that needs the most amount of attention is team work, ie. learning how to get along with others in a social setting, working with your colleagues as a team to get a project done. His A levels has very much been a solo mission where he just sits down and revises, studies and ignores, virtually shuts down the world outside. That's inevitable for anyone going through the A level exams of course, but as I've found out myself recently, when you have a job, sometimes you have to work as a team and boy that social aspect of having to deal with others on a completely different wavelength can be challenging to say the least. I did experience that in NS but in NS, the bar is not very high - you merely keep your head down, don't speak up, shut up when you're meant to shut up and count the days until you're a free man again. It's no different from being in prison really. But in the context of the business world, you need to get work done, you need to make money for the company, you need to complete projects worth millions of dollars and there are deadlines to be met - the stakes are far higher in the business world than in NS. So yes, it's "adult world lite" for my nephew, but he has to start somewhere and it's a good learning environment by that token.
DeleteAppreciate your replies. True to adult work lite. I was thinking more of how to deal with superiors.. how to ask for help from your peers.. rather than working in project team.. but only time will tell.
ReplyDeleteOh it's one thing to be good at your job, it's another to navigate office politics. I'm undoubtedly good at my job but I struggle with the office politics. I don't like having to deal with people I have virtually nothing in common with but somehow have to establish some kind of professional working relationship with, just to get work done. But that's all part of adult working life and I feel bad for people like my nephew because I know this will be challenging for him of course. Some people like me find a way to cope and survive, I don't claim to have all the answers but at least I find a way to deal with it. People like my father got severely bullied by his peers when he was a child and then severely bullied by his colleagues at the school when he was a teacher. No wonder he became a total social recluse and simply watches TV during his retirement as most of his social interactions have been very toxic all his life - on some level, he's even delighted that there's a pandemic so he has a good reason to stay at home and avoid people. For the first time in his life, being a social recluse who refuses to see people is seen as the responsible thing to do.
DeleteYour nephew is willing to work hard, that's a positive attitude, and much appreciated, especially in military. Most importantly, he has you as his beacon
ReplyDeleteHi there and thanks for your comment. Yes he is a very hard worker and has a good attitude, but I don't think it's rewarded per se in the military. Allow me to explain: let me give you an example from my own army days, imagine if we have a situation in my unit whereby the officer says, "we have been asked to clear out the warehouse and there's a lot of junk in there which needs to be thrown away. Everyone has to participate. We will load the junk onto two lorries, take it to the rubbish dump then push all the junk off the lorries directly into the rubbish dump." In such a situation, if I worked hard to move all the junk out of the warehouse into the lorry, then helped dispose of it on the other side at the rubbish dump - I'm not rewarded. I'm merely doing what is expected of me by following orders even if I did work extremely hard. If I tried to avoid work by disappearing to the toilet for a long time when I was supposed to be moving the junk out of the warehouse, then yeah I could expect to be punished for not pulling my weight. Thus simply being willing to work hard in the military isn't appreciated per se, you're expected to do that anyway whether you like it or not. My fear is that my nephew will work very hard in the army and then feel disappointed that no one cares, no one notices and nobody gives a shit about how hard he has worked.
DeleteAs for me being his uncle, oh please - I have to admit. I'm not close to my nephew. I was very happy to have had the chance to tutor him for his A level economics exam as that was a chance for me to get closer to him but it was a tough role to play as I had to be the bad guy who told him, "no don't anyhow hantam, don't anyhow guess the answer, even if you don't know, don't make wild guesses, just tell me you don't know what the answer is". I don't think I grew any closer to him through that process as I was such a strict teacher - besides, the fact is he listens to whoever tells him what he wants to hear. Let me give you an example: he told me that he wanted to memorize 'model answers' to get through the exam and I told him that was a terrible idea. You have to answer the question you're given in the exam, rather than just vomit out an answer that you've memorized for a totally different question and the odds of you memorizing a 'model answer' that perfectly answers the question is nil because nobody knows what will appear in the exam. His response was, "but my classmates say can like that one." So he is choosing to listen to his classmates who tell him there's an easy way to get through the difficult exam and ignoring his wise old uncle who is trying to help him because his classmates are telling him what he wants to hear. He's not wise, mature or sensible enough to listen to me and I can't force him to - so that's the context and whilst he does have a wise, old uncle, he's hardly treating me like any sort of beacon at all.
Hmm, Paul could've been a diabetic. Many celebrities are and seemingly healthy looking but you wouldn't even know it. For example, Nick Jonas from the Jonas Brothers is very ripped and fit but has type 1 diabetes. But anyway, like I'm surprised they actually considered autism as a reason not to give your nephew PES A or B. I guess they're afraid he may accidentally be assigned to a leadership position and fail at it due to lack of interpersonal skills. I do know a guy who has eczema, which was very visible, and assigned to a desk job as a secretary for his entire NS. I dunno what PES he got, but he definitely couldn't have sweated in the jungle for very long.
ReplyDeleteHi Amanda, actually I would dispute that theory and allow me to explain why please: you see, in the army, if you have a medical condition that most people can clearly see (such as the guy with the deformed rib cage), then actually the reaction you get from most people is genuine sympathy. I have actually met diabetics in the army before and they had no qualms about talking about their diabetes - there's usually some kind of visible sign as well like them injecting insulin or taking other forms of medicine. There's actually no stigma associated with a medical condition like diabetes so if Paul was diabetic, he would have probably been quite happy to talk about it given the way he opened up to me about his childhood in America. However, I suspect (and this is me guessing - I have no evidence) that it was probably something else like a mental health issue, because it was like the elephant in the room nobody talks about and nobody has any information about. My fellow soldiers who were diabetic were quite happy to talk about their medical condition but with Paul, it was just a Pandora's box that nobody was allowed to touch, never mind open. I think he might have rejected my friendship if the first thing I did was ask him, "tell me why you are PES E Paul." As for my nephew's PES rating, yeah I was as surprised as he was but mind you, I am delighted with the outcome (even if he isn't).
DeleteOh yeah I forget that diabetes is more common in Asia so it is more normal to know someone who is a diabetic. But I've never served NS so I don't know how close-quarters you are sleeping in the same area and noticing little details about people that it's hard to keep it secret.
DeleteHmm, I guess it could be a mental health issue. Do you wonder if your nephew would tell people about his PES E rating and autism if they asked? But yeah people hardly come forward about mental issues. I only found out in adulthood that one of my childhood friends has OCD and ADHD, and I didn't even notice when we were growing up besides him finding it difficult to concentrate in class. I also wouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth, what use is ego anyway when serving "harder" in NS is not going to lead to a career advantage unless one wants to join the military. But even then to get high up on the military career ladder one needs brains and not simply strength/fitness.
Well Amanda, diabetes is indeed common in Asia but more to the point, there's no shame in having diabetes in Asia. Allow me to explain please: basically, if you're genuinely unwell with a serious medical condition like a deformed rib cage or diabetes, then nobody is going to accuse you of malingering (remember the case of the guy I talked about in this post who 'acted crazy' to get a downgrade). Let's take the case of the guy with the really deformed rib cage: it is so evident that there's something wrong with his body, we can clearly see what is wrong so there's no possibility for anyone trying to accuse him of deliberately breaking/deforming his rib cage just to get a downgrade for an easier time in NS. There is no stigma for people who are genuinely unwell, the guys aren't that cruel I assure you. Making fun of someone with a deformed rib cage would tantamount to throwing stones at an old man in a wheel chair - if someone did do that kind of 'bullying' then I assure you that there will be a lot more reasonable guys who will say, "stop it, you're being ridiculous, this is not acceptable." So it's not the case of the fitter, healthier guys looking down on those who are PES E (who are more unfit, due to their serious medical conditions). No, rather the anger and hatred is directed at the guys who game/cheat the system to deliberately get a lower PES status.
DeleteThe whole reason why no one questioned why Paul was PES E was actually because we trusted the system, we figured that there must be something pretty darn seriously wrong with his body to warrant that PES E status and if he didn't want to talk about it, that's his right to do so. Paul did get along with the people around him, he had good social skills, so effectively, he didn't face any stigma at all. After all, he did manage to make friends with people like me.
As for nephew opening up to people about his autism, I don't see him doing it. Not unless he was forced to. I know he's uncomfortable talking about it because his own family is so ashamed of it and that's why I'm trying to counter all that by shouting from the rooftops I'M AUTISTIC I'VE ASPERGER SYNDROME! This way at least he will feel I'm not the only one, uncle Alex is autistic and has Asperger syndrome too, just like me. But I wouldn't even encourage him to talk about it, certainly not with people who do not understand the issue - what's the point of disclosing it with someone who doesn't understand?
And also, you're right: doing 'harder' NS doesn't bring with it any more rewards. You don't get more money, you don't get more recognition, you don't get anything extra, nothing at all. One thing that he is proud of is that he is physically fit, so for example, I know he goes jogging and can run distances like 5 km and 10 km in a pretty respectable time. I don't doubt that this is one area that he is good at but if he thinks that he is going to have an officer pat him on the back for being physically fit, LOL, oh boy, he's totally barking up the wrong tree. Sigh, as an autistic teenager, he is always seeking approval but if he thinks he is going to get approval in NS through his physical fitness, really nobody gives a shit. What's more important is to keep your head down and your mouth shut.
The key thing he has to learn about NS is to blend in, keep your head down and mouth shut. Never let people know you're better than them, so for example, if you have rich parents, pretend you're just average or poor like the others. If you came from a good school, never ever bring up that topic and hope that nobody asked which school you came from. You get the idea: so even if you are a fast runner like my nephew, holy shit, you NEVER run faster than anyone else. You make sure you keep your head down, stay in the middle of the pack and make sure you're average. Welcome to the land of mediocrity. Let's say the platoon goes for a run: if you run faster than everyone else and come in 'first', there's no prize, no gold medal and that little bit of satisfaction you gain for being faster than everyone else is nothing compared to the kind of potential bullying you may suffer for breaking the rule of not keeping your head down. You risk incurring the wrath of so many people by trying to be better than everyone else and that's why I'm glad he's PES E - that physical aspect of NS is taken out of the equation for him and thus that's one less area he can get into trouble. I hate to say this but I don't trust him in the social skills department to make the right judgment call in such situations.
DeleteLet me give you an example when I told him to his face he was saying something stupid. When he was in London, I took him and his mother out cycling - the first thing he said was, "I cycle very fast one!" And I made a face and I asked him, do you think your mother is going to be impressed? No, you're only going to worry her that you're going to behave in an irresponsible manner. Do you think I'm going to be impressed? No, because you've just said something to upset your mother and that's a dumb thing to do. If both your mother and your uncle are upset by the stupid thing you just said, do you think it was a wise thing to say in the first place? No, it was a terribly dumb thing to say. So why don't you choose your words more carefully before you open your mouth next time instead of saying something stupid that will get you a scolding like that? See what I mean about poor social skills getting him into trouble?
Thus with the example of the cycling, there's no gold medal for him cycling fast - only a stern scolding from me if he dares to upset his mother. Yet he says stupid shit like that because he opens his mouth and blurts out the first thing that comes to mind before processing, "what will the effect of these words be with the people I am talking to now?" You take a lot of things for granted when it comes to social skills Amanda because you have excellent social skills, but geez, I do worry about my nephew y'know. He's not stupid per se, but he has such poor social skills.
DeleteOh I see what you mean about people in NS being upset if they suspect someone is gaming the system to have an easier time during NS because every dude has to serve and for many people it will be a shitty time. When I was in SG I had a very rich friend who had a male cousin who managed to delay doing NS by bribing doctors to classify him as mentally ill and physically disabled. A lot of working class people would slap this guy if they knew. This reminds me of "The Illiad" where cunning Odysseus tried to get out of his obligation to fight in the Trojan war by pretending he was crazy and that all he could think of was plowing the fields all day like a farmer even though he was a king. I forget who was pressuring him to fight in the war, but they got around Odysseus' trick by taking his baby son and placing it in the path of the plow, and showing that Odysseus is not in fact crazy because he immediately stopped as to not murder his own child. So people were dodging the draft even in Ancient Greece haha.
DeleteDude, that lack of awareness of what other people feel is going to be very damaging. But then again I know non-autistic people who think "but they shouldn't be jealous", without thinking "but they are jealous and there is nothing to prevent them from hurting you for that, even if its wrong." Many crimes go unpunished. Thank god he's PES E because then he might have some inkling that he isn't the top dog and can't go around mouthing off as if he is. Imagine if he was given PES A! He might just go around bragging about it.
I didn't understand this as a kid, but I am now as an adult because I'm getting ever more Machiavellian. But I used to wonder what made a person "popular" when growing up in high school? Then I realized it was nothing to do with what the person was like in particular, but everything to do with what people saw in them. Popular people had the best manners. They never spoke unless they knew people liked what they were about to say. They also put more effort into their appearance and how they presented themselves, instead of just dressing how they like. Having an entertaining talent like music or sports helped, because everyone likes sports and music and not say, chess or computer programming. Even now coding is only becoming popular because many genius programmers are getting billionaire rich, and hey everyone loves money and having it, not necessarily the coding itself. It also made me realize why rich politicians talk so much about family and religion even though it is clear they hardly spend any time with their family or church while on the road. Then I realized its because being a politician means you have to be popular, and most voters aren't rich so the things most important to their lives are family and church.
Anyway, have you ever asked your nephew why he thinks other people are more likable while he isn't? Because at this point he's gonna have to do a lot to catch up to those popular kids/politician types just to survive. I know its just an in-built part of autism to lack intuitive understanding of other minds. I know because I have the same problem. But I do play a lot of computer games and when a book explains to me social rules as if its the rules of a game, then I can play and attempt to win social conversations as long as I remember the rules.
Right Amanda, I want to make it clear that there's no element of "fitter, healthier" people bullying the disabled, oh gosh if that was the case, that's seriously messed up and no, Singaporean men are a lot more sensible and reasonable than that! If we encounter someone who clearly has a medical condition or a disability (such as the guy with the deformed rib cage), we react with sympathy and understanding because clearly there's something wrong and we acknowledge that in a tactful and sensitive manner. It's only the dishonesty of those gaming the system which incurs the wrath of others. Now my nephew has reason to be nervous because any kind of mental health issue is invisible - the same way I couldn't figure out why Paul was PES E, unlike the guy with the deformed rib cage, I couldn't see what was wrong with Paul and short of asking him to divulge that information, there's just no way I could have found out. I think people around my nephew are going to have that moment when they go, "eh? That guy looks perfectly healthy, why is he PES E? What is his disability? It has gotta be quite serious to warrant a PES E downgrade, right?" As for how they would react when they have that thought, I don't know and I can't predict. I treated Paul with respect because my need to have his friendship outweighed my need to know why he was PES E. It was a simple cost-benefit analysis done by a rational person.
DeleteI have some horror stories of people who had genuine accidents but were accused of malingering. There was this guy in my unit Rajoo (not his real name) who suffered a nasty burn and was permanently scarred as a result of it. The pain must have been horrific yet he was accused of harming himself to avoid having to do a military exercise that nobody was looking forward to as it was going to be a lot of hard work and suffering. So whilst everyone else was suffering during that military exercise, Rajoo was in hospital in the burns unit recovering from his burn injury (long story as to how he sustained it, but there were no witnesses). So it became a case of "he said, she said", the commanding officer claimed that Rajoo was lazy, had a bad attitude and on that basis claimed that Rajoo had harmed himself just to get out of military exercise and Rajoo's defence was, you can't prove I harmed myself, it was an accident, do you know how much pain I am in currently because of this burn injury? It was a kangaroo court anyway as it was a military court, not a civilian court and they always take the side of the commanding officer so Rajoo was thrown in military jail - I felt sorry for him because he was convicted not so much for the burn per se, but having pissed the commanding officer off with his bad attitude all this time and such is the system there for you. That's why Rajoo was so harshly punished for not having the right social skills to get along with his commanding officer(s) and that's what worries me about my nephew. He doesn't have the requisite social skills to navigate this kind of harsh environment at all.
My nephew may be 18 and about to enlist in the military but he has the social skills of a 10 year old. When kids are that age, they think they can seek approval by being good at stuff. That's because they're socially conditioned in the classroom by their teachers, so imagine if the teacher asks a question like what is the square root of 144? If the student gives the right answer, the teacher will react positively and say something like, "that's right, very good, well done!" And if the student gets the answer wrong, the teacher will frown and depending on how mean the teacher is, offering anything from disapproval to disdain for the pupil not knowing the right answer. It's the same thing in gymnastics. I only reserve my praise for when the gymnasts actually get things right. I was trying to get a gymnast to do a front somersault last night, I praised her when she managed to get some decent air time and rotation but when she got it wrong, I told her what she ought to be doing instead (but withheld praise/approval).
DeleteMy nephew is desperate to get praise for when he does things right/well. So running is actually one thing he can do and he is so freaking desperate to go to the army, run really fast and get praise for it. But of course, that's NOT what you're supposed to do in the army! Modesty aside, I was a fast runner too but I hid that fact. We ran as a unit, a platoon and I was always the nice guy at the back encouraging the slower, more unfit runners to keep up - I was never ever the guy at the front. There was no 'gold medal', no praise, no reward for coming in first, but I created my own reward by harvesting good will by being Mr Nice Guy. It was only on my very last run in the army, just before I left that I actually ran at full speed at a major event with loads of different units involved and I came in 2nd in a 10 km run. I shocked myself at just how fast I was as I had never allowed myself to run at full speed before, but I didn't care since I was on my way out already.
But such is the army for you: you're better off being Mr Nice Guy, at the back of the pack, encouraging and helping the weaker runners than being Mr Superstar who is faster than everyone else. Thus I can answer your question: I know exactly why my nephew isn't likable like some of his peers because his attitude is "I must impress others and get their approval/praise" as opposed to "I must be the nicest, kindest, most supportive friend and if that means running at the back of the pack just to help those who are struggling, then I'll come in last just so that fat guy won't come in last." Therein lies the difference and he has got a lot to learn to see things from the point of view of others, rather than from his own POV. But such is the nature of autistic people, they totally lack empathy - they're totally unable to see things from anyone else's POV and I think my nephew will have some hard lessons to learn in this aspect when he starts NS.
Lol so in my case at my school teachers didn't praise you if you did well, but they didn't get angry if you did badly either. But regardless many parents/authority figures praise children like that. It's just that most kids learn very fast on the playground that that doesn't matter among their peers. But your nephew is autistic so he hasn't learnt that yet.
DeleteSo why did you get PES B instead of PES A despite being a national athlete? I would assume you were extremely fit, unless PES A is superhero levels of fit. Yeah there's not much to gain from running fast, or at least not way faster than the rest of the pack, especially if the sergeant is going to use you as an example to make the others run faster.
Hi again Amanda. I'm surprised your school teacher didn't praise you if you got the answer to the questions right. In Singaporean schools at least, school teachers use this 'approval' as a tool to control the class. The students were naturally very attention & approval seeking so the teachers were careful to reward the ones they liked with their approval to control the balance of power in the class. If the teacher didn't praise you even if you did well, then they have relinquished that one power to control the students. A teacher who neither praises or gets angry sounds actually like one who doesn't care. It reminds me of my relationship with this guy in the gym - let's him Mr Lab as he works in a lab. He gets so angry/upset when I try to help him as a coach, he takes it personally when I give him some kind of constructive criticism like "you need to open up your shoulder angle in the handstand" - most people just take that at face value as advice from a coach but Mr Lab gets so upset as if I have just insulted him. He can't handle it, he only wants positive feedback - so what do I do? I ignore him, I offer neither praise nor constructive feedback, whether he does well or badly, I just don't react at all.
DeleteAs for my PES status, I started out as PES B (because of my poor eyesight) and then I had all these terrible leg injuries (especially on my left knee) because of my gymnastics and the doctor I had been seeing was like, now you're a soldier, you can get free medical care we're gonna operate on your left knee to try to fix that mess up once and for all. I used to get free medical care when I was under 18 because my parents were teachers and free medical care for their kids was part of the perks of the job. But once I turned 18, I had to pay for that knee operation and the doctor said, don't be silly - let's operate now and let the government foot the bill. If you wait a few years, then you have to pay for it. So they operated on my left knee (it was messed up I swear) and after that operation, the doctors decided that my knee was so messed up that they downgraded me further to PES C2. Again, it was their decision not mine. Yes my knee was messed up but I did recover after that and as you can see from my gymnastics today, I've made a full recovery. The doctors probably took a look at my left knee back then and thought, holy shit how is this guy still walking with his knee in this state?!?!
I do in fact still have a huge surgical scar on my left knee from that operation in 1996!
DeleteHey Alex. So my teachers didn't praise me specifically, but they did praise students who didn't do well but still made progress. Maybe its just because our private school wanted to keep every student/parent happy, and they could. I'll just give an example of this system. In fifth grade (age 10-12 years old), we had this weekly spelling test that everyone had to take. You would get rewarded with candy, but only if you improved over your score last week. So students who consistently scored 100% from the beginning of the semester got no candy, and no praise even for their dependable scores. While students who started at 0% and slowly improved 5% per week got the most candy. I remember good students who deliberately put in the wrong answers one week just so they would get candy the next week. I was one of them haha.
DeleteI don't want to talk too much about myself but my dad was an engineer and my mom was a doctor, they sent me to private tuition and over the dinner table taught me about their jobs. So academically I was at a huge advantage relative to my peers whose parents put less emphasis on education and did not work highly technical jobs. But education didn't matter anyway when all the kids at school had parents who could get them cushy jobs in adulthood. So what was there for the teacher to praise except individual effort? Similar to how you mentioned there was a rich guy who hired private gymnastics tutors just to beat his own high score. Also because of small class sizes (10-15 kids), there was no need to "control" students by instilling fear using praise/scoldings.
Oh wow I would have never noticed you had knee surgery from all the flips and cartwheels you do on instagram. That is a pretty good perk to give free healthcare to kids of government workers, but then again healthcare is very decently priced in Singapore if you have any type of insurance. I remember getting surgery in my final year of undergrad free of charge using only my student insurance. Lol so PES A is reserved for people with good eyes, there aren't much of those in Sg though haha. Did they give you an easier time in NS after the knee surgery?
Amanda, just bear in mind the fact that you went to an international school full of rich expatriate kids whilst I was part of the public school system in Singapore for the poor working class kids. Our experiences of the education system were very different, it couldn't have been more different really.
DeleteI've injured both knees at various points in my life and I recall a few years ago in 2018, I was on holiday in Malta and I could barely walk at one point because my right knee just plain gave up on me. Luckily we had a rental car during that holiday but even like walking from the car to the restaurant or the beach was giving me so much pain. I have to be careful with my training now, not to push myself too hard as my legs aren't as strong as before.
After my downgrade, I was rated PES C2 so I had slipped down from B to C, it was only one step down and I was still considered 'fit for light duties' (as opposed to my nephew who is considered 'combat unfit'). But let me summarize a very long story, during this period, there was a manpower reshuffle and I moved from my original unit to a new unit - the people in the new unit were nicer than the assholes at the old unit. I met people like Paul at the new unit. So having an easier time wasn't correlated to my PES status per se but the people I had to spend my waking hours with and I was very, very lucky to have been reshuffled into a unit run by a WOMAN. That's right, the big boss was a WOMAN and the army turns men into power crazy monsters whilst women stay human. I used my newly found social skills to befriend her and I benefited from our friendship - like I remember she even gave me dried cranberries on one occasion. Thus by that token, how much my nephew will suffer has far less to do with his PES status but far more to do with the people he will end up working and living with during NS.
Yeah I forget that school systems can vary so widely at the primary and secondary level. It's crazy how much they differ. What was Raffles JC like? That's technically a public school, but considered the best public school in Sg.
DeleteLol if you injured your knee that badly then maybe you could've rented a wheelchair to go on holiday. But yeah even I have to be careful with training even though I'm in my 20s. Sometimes I have to take 3 sick days back to back because of soreness from gymnastics/tennis.
Lol so PES E is seriously no combat at all. I googled what PES E means, and on the website it means "administrative roles only", which lumps him in with my friend with eczema. That could be hell too, office politics and all. Oh being a woman in a male dominated field, one can't really be too harsh or people will see her as a "Bitch" and mutiny. I'm in engineering and I notice the people who are most mouthy are always the boys, I hardly see any women doing that because it would be career suicide. That sounds like a very nice boss to have, I hope your nephew gets to work under a nice commanding officer too.
Allow me to explain please: I went to RI for my O levels then because I wanted to avoid doing maths at A levels and still get my humanities scholarship, I had to go to VJC. Nowadays, the system is totally different - I don't think I could avoid maths anymore and RJC does offer the subject I took (TSD). But regardless, the point is I still went to the top schools in Singapore, from secondary school onwards at least. But with the primary school, there was no selection criteria, the kids simply came from the local catchment area. So I had classmates who were from all kinds of social backgrounds including the poorest of the poor - whereas in secondary school, yeah whilst I had poor classmates, they had at least gotten through a difficult exam to earn their place there. But VJC was very different because of the smaller class sizes, I was part of the humanities programme and thus it was a programme to get the smartest kids to do an arts combination by offering a full scholarship + loads of perks like smaller class sizes and expatriate teachers. So by the time I got to VJC, I had an experience far more similar to yours. But note that I was one of the lucky few, like I had 5 people in my geography class, that's ideal, that's perfect: how many students have that privilege?
DeleteAs for that holiday, no no no - a pair of crutches would have been far more useful. Malta was not wheelchair friendly at all and I had one good leg. Crutches would have gotten me around whilst a wheelchair would have left us looking for the nearest ramp that didn't exist at all. But the fact is, even that injury did heal with sufficient rest. Mind you, the one good thing that came out of the lockdown was the forced rest period for me to allow all my injuries to heal properly.
Administrative roles in the army may not mean sitting in an air-con office at a computer: there's the role of a store manager for example. Nothing to do with retail, imagine if there's a big workshop with loads of tools. I need to get something like a wrench to repair my tank, so I go to the store manager and ask for a wrench, the store manager makes me sign out the piece of equipment and after I return it, the store manager makes me sign it back in. It is still a boring admin task but the store manager is not in an air-con office, but a stinking hot warehouse when it is 34 degrees outside and there's definitely no air-con in sight. As for my nephew's future - que sera sera y'know, I don't have a crystal ball, I can only hope for the best but we don't know what the future might hold for him.
Oh that's great you got into a small elite humanities program for the last years of high school. You did mention in past blog posts some of your teachers weren't Singaporean and knew how to help you apply to the British system, I didn't know they taught at JCs in Singapore, I thought the expats tended to work for the international schools instead. But it's great you had access to an international diversity of teachers. But yeah this kind of program is not scalable for the entirety of Singapore, they would need way too many teachers. Hmm... now I understand why Harvard is so expensive, their student to teacher ratio is 7 to 1.
DeleteLol, I get wanting to get back to sports ASAP after an injury. I felt miserable when I once had to stop fencing for 3 months while seeing a physiotherapist every week for my messed up ankle. Maybe the lockdown is a good thing, if other people aren't going to gymnastics too then you don't feel you're missing out while staying home and letting injuries heal.
I did have a friend who was a store manager at one point during NS. He said it was miserable because dumb soldiers would wake him up at 3am just because they needed 1 battery from the store. That requires some social skills to deal with I suppose, its sorta like being a waiter or working at McDonalds. Oh well, we shall see how your nephew does in NS for the next two years. Gosh 2 years seems so long, its like half a degree.
Well that was really only for the last 2 years of my time in the Singaporean education system, just for my A levels. But yes, the expatriate teachers were recruited to primarily work within the humanities programme but if they had very, very few students (remember my geography class had 5 students), then they were roped in to help other classes as well. It wouldn't be fair to have the local teachers handle an impossibly huge work load whilst the British expatriate teacher have so few students. I think the other students did benefit from being exposed to a very different teaching style with these expatriate teachers.
DeleteIt is a bummer to be injured like I am right now, I can't do some of the skills I like to do because there is pain in my right foot preventing me from running at full speed. So if I can't even run, tumbling is quite a big ask so I'm doing easier stuff now whilst being frustrated with the pain in my right foot. It hurts in two places and I know if I saw a doctor, s/he would just say, "take a month off and let it heal." Well the last day to train is the 23rd, I trained today, I must take tomorrow off as I can barely walk and I don't think it's worth pushing it on the 23rd but let's see how I feel when I wake up.
Yup, so you know all about store managers and the miserable role they have to play.
Wow I can't believe they actually brought in expat teachers for humanities. But then again its not like Sg produces a lot of teachers who want to go into the humanities. I wonder what other classes they were roped into teaching, maybe English.
DeleteI had not noticed at all that you were injured since you post gymnastics on instagram every week. Although I hate being injured, I am also really careful to stay home if I am and do a casual hobby like drawing art or videogames. You probably should rest your foot so you can run at full speed again. I heard Omicron is giving the UK a battering, maybe they'll close the gym but probably not because of vaccines and booster shots keeping deaths low. I just got my booster today, but I've been out maskless at gymnastics/tennis for the past two months and have not fallen ill at all this year.
https://www.moe.gov.sg/programmes/humanities-talent-development/humanities-scholarship-and-programme I don't think it should surprise you that the MOE in Singapore is willing to throw money at this kind of scheme to focus on the top 5% (picking my numbers modestly). The situation is like this in Singapore: the top students who get straight As normally just pick a science course and follow the route into medicine or engineering. This scheme was to open their eyes up to an alternative in studying the humanities for an alternative route - sure they cannot become a scientist or a doctor with this route, but they could go into banking or law with this route after having a degree in the humanities from a top university. So the MOE threw everything at this programme: smaller class sizes, generous scholarships, free everything (so on top of the scholarship, I got a separate payment to cover stuff like books during my A levels) and best teachers from the UK/US to guide you into the top UK/US universities. However, the MOE back then also made sure the entry requirements for this programme are also very high - ie. "if we're going to give you the VIP treatment, then you'd better be in the top 1% - if not, you can study a regular A level course without the VIP treatment." So we had the bizarre situation in VJC where about 40% of the people in my class were real scholars (like me, ie. the top 1% getting the VIP treatment), then the other 60% were non-scholars who applied for the programme, were deemed "not worthy" and failed the interview process but still allowed to be part of the class and benefit from the expat teachers and smaller classes (however, no scholarship money and freebies for them and they don't get to claim to be scholars). So it's the difference between being in first class and premium economy.
DeleteSo without this 60% in premium economy, our classes would have been so small it would have been silly. So that's why the school made a decision to pad out the class a little to allow some students to still benefit from the programme without having to meet the strict criteria of becoming a scholar. But the bottom line is this: A) Singapore is a very, very, very, extremely RICH country (I can't stress this enough, money is not the issue in Singapore, Singapore is freaking RICH) happy to throw money at schemes like that to invest in education, this is done through the public sector. This is quite unlike the UK for example, where rich parents are expected to pay for that kind of privilege whilst the poor are left to rot. Thus I was very lucky to have been in Singapore to be a bright but poor kid there to benefit from that system. And also, B) Singaporeans do put Oxbridge on a pedestal and hence would gladly invest in a scheme to get students into Oxford & Cambridge. The key reason why expatriate teachers were brought it was to help students understand the selection process for Oxbridge and to maximize their chances of scoring a place there.
Yes the expatriate teachers were then expected to help teach plenty of other classes English, in the vain hope that exposing these Singaporeans to a white teacher would somehow improve their English standards, just like that. Yeah right.
Oh I just realized that I flip-flopped between "top 1%" and "top 5%" - I remember a friend from my secondary school Aaron and I both applied for the humanities scholarship at the same time, we both had straight As for everything but I had a more illustrious track record beyond my straight As thanks to my gymnastics and hence I was granted the scholarship whilst he was turned down. Poor Aaron didn't even get premium economy, he was kicked all the way to economy class and did his A levels in the ordinary arts faculty class whilst I got all the perks of being a scholar. The fact is Aaron did go on to university and had a very successful career in journalism, he is a very intelligent guy indeed. But even he was rejected by the programme as no premium enough to be worthy of being a scholar in our programme, hence that's why in my head I thought, if they said no to someone as bright and successful as Aaron, surely this must be for the top 1%?!?! But if I placed myself in the top 1% oh then all the haters will pile in and give me hell for daring to consider myself top 1% (whilst excluding people like Aaron). Go figure.
DeleteBut also to follow up on the point above: the unique thing about Singapore as opposed to a country like the UK is that Singapore would shamelessly invest in a scheme that benefits the top 1% like that, screw the bottom 99% (like Aaron) who aren't bright enough - we'll throw millions at a scheme that will benefit a tiny number of the brightest students as they're the top 1%. Whereas any kind of scheme that costs so much but benefits so few would be deemed politically incorrect in the UK, it would be considered very elitist indeed. Like these top 1% are already so freaking bright, they are smart enough and they'll figure a way out to make money in the future so they don't need help. You should be spending all that money on the bottom 20% who need the most help to attain some form of social mobility.
I'm hurting in so many places I'm wondering if it is worth it to train just once more before Christmas or if I should just allow my body to heal till the new year. Omicron is running ravage in the UK now with 90,000+ cases a day but that number is meaningless as it only reflects the upper limit of the testing capacity. But Boris is already so so so unpopular right now (as discussed previously) he wouldn't dare to 'cancel Christmas' - remember, this is a really selfish fucking evil man who will hold on to power at all costs. He puts his political career first and will gladly allow another 100,000 British people to die if it means him holding onto power a month longer. I see him as more fucking evil than Hitler when it comes to the number of people he has killed in this pandemic. So by that token, no we're not having another lockdown because that would make him so unpopular that he will lose power and you have to realize that his priorities is not to save lives, but to hang onto power as long as he can.
Please remember we're dealing with someone a lot more evil than Hitler.
Sorry typo: *not premium enough* (first paragraph, ref: Aaron)
DeleteLol sometimes I forget Singapore is a rich country just because they don't dare spend a single cent on welfare. But then again I know they throw buckets of money at scientific research, paying the highest salaries of all academics in the world. I think they can only afford to get away with this lavishing of the top 1% of humanities students only because they control the media. If this happened in the UK the Daily Mail or The Express would run a headline like "Millions of pounds wasted on elitist education program while benefits cuts rage on." In SG there is no risk of someone in the Strait's times writing an article to expose this kind of government spending as unnecessary and classist. Instead of lavishing a few top 1% of students, they could be spending more to reduce class sizes of the average school. But SG politicians aren't known to be egalitarian like European ones.
DeleteDude, I'm with the doctor on this one. You don't know if you will pick up a 2nd injury on top of the existing one that will take you out for even longer. Sigh, I wish Facebook and Neuralink would hurry up with the metaverse and brain implant so I can train gymnastics even when sore, or even do it from home haha. Kinda makes you wonder, if we had virtual reality would pandemics even exist? Maybe among the truck drivers and grocery workers who still have to move goods around.
Oh you think Boris is evil, I think Trump and the republican governors in the US are even worse because there was no scheme to pay workers 60% of their prior salary while retaining them during the pandemic. Republican governors waged war against mask mandates and restrictions. I think the US only has a lower deathrate than the UK because of lower population density, but it doesn't mean we behaved any better. Relative to the average European politician Boris is definitely evil. But then again Boris did champion Brexit, which I have no idea who its supposed to benefit aside from his rise to power.
Singapore's approach is very unique and to be fair, whilst academically I may have been the top 1% of my cohort, I came from a poor working class family so it is possible to say the government assisted me with my social mobility - the government saw that I was a bright kid from a poor working class family and thus gave me the tools in the form of an elite education + a scholarship + freebies + awards etc to ensure that I didn't end up like my parents. The scheme would have been a lot more controversial if the only beneficiaries of this prestigious scholarship scheme were all rich kids from super rich families. The fact that a poor, working class kid like me managed to participate and benefit from this scheme proves that it does work - however, the other argument is "how much did you spend on this scheme and how many students benefited?" And the answers are: a lot of money and very few students. Therein lies the problem, even if all the beneficiaries of this scheme were all very poor kids like me, that's still a tiny number who benefited from that budget whereas if they had a scheme which simply gave "free lunch to all kids from poorer families" (a UK scheme, aka free school meals) then you're not expecting the kid from the poor family to study hard, score the straight As to earn the right to be helped - you help the poor kids because they need help, they are already so pathetic, you just give them the free meal without asking anything of them. Such schemes are popular in the UK because there are a LOT of poor working class people who desperately need help whereas in Singapore, it's not like there's no poor working class folks, but they are shamed into keeping quiet about their poverty out of fear of losing face, as Singaporean society blames them, "why you so poor one? Are you lazy or stupid? Shame on you!"
DeleteBut Amanda, the last gymnastics session of the year is on the 23rd Dec, if I don't train on the 23rd, it'll be a long wait till January but akan datang, I'm trying to plan a ski trip around 1st Jan. My silly husband went to take a PCR Covid test and once we get the all clear, I'll book it but until we get the result, I don't dare to book anything yet.
As for Boris, sigh. I hate him so much but that's another argument for another day, I will write about him at some point when it is clear he's about to be ousted by his own party.
DeleteSingapore's approach sounds very similar to the ivy leagues in the US offering full scholarships to any poor children. But of course people say ivy leagues only teach less than 1% of all college students, so the burden shouldn't be on them to foster social mobility. It's like if everyone blamed Oxbridge for all the social mobility issues in the UK, when inequality in primary and secondary school is probably a bigger factor. To be fair to Singapore though, at least they give working class kids a chance if they have good enough grades. Its just that some people think that is elitism in itself, but instead of being based on class its based on IQ. I don't think SG is that forgiving for a mediocre student from a poor family who ends up at SIM with double the student loans of a student who attended NUS/NTU instead. Lol "why you so poor one?" yes Asian society is very keen on face and hiding poverty, but so is American society. I don't know about the British, since social class is talked about more openly.
DeleteOh yeah I feel you about the gymnastics thing. In fact my gymnastics place is already closed as of 20th December until 3rd January. So I only got to attend 1 session this month, because I missed the other one because of school finals. Oh where do you plan on going skiing? Is this within the UK? I heard there's some travel restrictions in Europe because of Omicron.
Well in Singapore, some help is available for the kids from poorer families but there's the concept of the 'deserving poor' - ie. you have to ask for help, it will be evaluated before you receive any kind of assistance whereas in the UK, we tend to have schemes like the free school meals which are simply given out on the basis of need rather than expecting these poorer kids (or their parents) to ask for help. It's a very different mindset, a very different kind of society. But of course, places at top universities are limited and poorer working class kids are competing with rich kids with parents who are willing to pay good money on their children's education: the state can never compete with a caring, rich parent in this aspect so the poorer kids will always lose out even if they do receive some help. Thus people like me who have competed against the rich kids and still delivered the same good results are pretty rare and that's why the rich stay rich and the poor get poorer.
DeleteYeah I intend to go skiing at Ben Nevis, the UK's highest mountain. Found the flights etc; just waiting for my hubby to get his PCR test results back before I can book it.
Yeah there's more of a culture of "don't ask, just give" in the west when it comes to welfare. I even heard of this scandal in Denmark where a woman swindled the Danish government out of 12 million dollars in donations by making up fake charities that the government didn't bother to look into. But then again, Asian culture doesn't like accepting welfare as much as it doesn't like giving it either.
DeleteAhh you're going to Scotland! I knew of that mountain but I didn't know there was a ski resort there. Hope the PCR test goes well, though both of you are vaccinated.
Sorry for the radio silence, it's been a hectic 24 hours. The weather forecast for Ben Nevis shifted from like -3 and snow to +3 and rain, which means not enough snow to ski. So I went into research mode, for countries that would let us Brits in (Omicron and all that), many countries have either totally shut their borders to us (France, Germany) and others have slapped on a 10 day quarantine (Norway, Austria), whilst others have said "take a test before you arrive" (Finland, Sweden) whilst others have said "just come, no worries" (Spain!!!) Looking at snow conditions we settled on Finland, I have actually been to Finland 5 times before and this will be my 6th visit there but we're going to a new city - Tampere which is the second biggest city in Finland and driving 110 km to quite a decent ski resort in the middle of nowhere. Just got the flights, now I have to get the Covid tests for departure, the Covid tests in Tampere, the day 2 test for when I return, the car rental, the accommodation (at the ski resort and in Tampere City) all booked. So much for, okay now I can relax, it is Christmas. No rest for the wicked!!
DeleteNo worries Alex, I've been in couch potato mode over the holiday season. Wow so Ben Nevis doesn't always get snow? Didn't know that, unless that's just climate change. Yeah I have been hearing on the news all sorts of things about omicron, like all the cancelled flights and new restrictions. Hope your ski trip goes through though! If not then maybe mid Jan to mid Feb has more snow.
DeleteBen Nevis does get some snow but it can be like -5 and snowing on a Monday, then +5 and raining on a Tuesday, then 0 on a Wednesday so the snow is subject to a lot of melting. Whereas where I'm going in central Finland, it's -17 at the moment, yeah there's no chance of the snow melting at all. The warmest it is gonna get whilst I'm there is -5 and there's going to be a lot of snow, so driving in the snow is gonna be a new challenge for us. But I read the travel reviews of where we're going, it's quite a remote part of the countryside so we have to rent a car because even if it's like to go for dinner. They'll be like, "yeah there's this nice place just 3 km down the road by the junction, it's a few minutes in the car or a really long way in the -17 degree night in the snow." I have been skiing in Scotland just once and the snow was limited, like once you hit the snow line it's just green and so that's always a worry with the warm winters here. I do get snow in London a few times a year but right now on Christmas day 1 am, it is +8 degrees and raining. I actually know a lot of British friends who have escaped to Finland and Sweden for the Christmas holidays so fingers crossed, all will go well. I have to do car rental, hotels, book my Covid test in Tampere, ski rental, then my 2nd Covid test when I return to London - great list of things to do on a Christmas day but we're not even going out as the weather is just awful, non-stop heavy rain.
DeleteHaha now I see why many British tourists like to go to Spain or Sweden, because there's no sun or snow back home. Lol so much to do but it's worth it to escape the rain. Do either of you remember how to drive though? I think I would've forgotten if I lived in London and rode the tube or got a cab daily.
DeleteI wanted to go on a long vacation for the new year, but I have to go back to school on the 10th when classes start. I'll probably plan a longer one in the summer, maybe even go to Mexico or Canada. Seems like the world is getting tired of lockdowns and new variants and we're just coping with the virus using vaccines.
We both drive confidently but I'd rather let my hubby drive in a place like Finland as they drive on the other side of the road. I'm very used to traffic being driven on the left-hand side of the road (as in Singapore and the UK) but in much of the rest of the world like Finland and the US, people drive on the right. But let's see, I think I'll truly be in holiday mode once I pass my Covid test on Monday and am cleared to get on that flight to Tampere.
DeleteI think with the recent spates of youth suicides,MINDEF is definitely erring on the side of caution. Better safe than sorry.
ReplyDeleteWell then hats off to MINDEF for caring! Quite frankly, I am absolutely delighted with the outcome, even if my nephew feels quite differently about the issue but there you go.
DeleteApologies, perhaps appreciation is the wrong word. Do the minimum for the manual labour, but when the occasion arises, I think it pays to step up and earn that trust from the superiors and peers, while focusing on relationship building throughout. He might not realised you offer the best advice now, but he will eventually turn around when he's in the new setting where his best bet for guidance is you.
ReplyDeleteNo worries! I certainly believe that he would benefit from the NS experience, it is what it is, he can't avoid it and at least he is going into it with a healthy attitude. As for him refusing to listen to me, well - I've been a difficult teenager too myself, I know what it is like growing up autistic with Asperger Syndrome so I do cut my nephew some slack in that department. There are many times when I have been proven right - for example, when I tutored him for his exams, he would protest that the case study in the test question isn't covered in the syllabus. I told him that he was meant to use what he has learnt in class and apply it to the case study; the whole point about using a case study he has never seen before is to test how well the student can apply what they have learnt about the subject to a new context. It is not a memory test about "please write down everything you recall about this case study". A levels is not about memorizing your text book, it is about applying what you've learnt about the subject. Then sure enough, in his actual A level exam, they get hit with a case study that they have never ever seen before - I only hope he remembers my words in his preparations for the exam because all his other classmates were bitching about how that case study was not in the syllabus. #rolleyes
DeleteServing ns means suffering attacks abuse bully at all level. This have been correctly written in this blog before. Having pes E status doing admin jobs doesn't avoid it but maybe at a lesser level. Having to book out for mental health consultation and daily book out definitely release the pressure and danger.
ReplyDeleteWorking hard and having a positive attitude is a Big NO in Singapore national service conscription military. It does not bring appreciation but only more duties, punishment and injustices. It attracts all kind of abusers bullies gangsters targeting and attacking you.
Don't be a smart Alex, but learn from this blogger Alex. Stay with the rest, act and behave the same as the rest, do what others do. Your nephew only needs to read up all your previous posting about ns. That is a good recruit readup for all ns enlistees.
Immigration Aspirant May I ask whether and which vocation did you serve your ns ?
Bless your nephew and all others into ns service.
Thanks for your kind words. I am so glad he is PES E.
DeleteI was in infantry, pes b. Had peers who were pes e and pes f due to medical condition. They are both physically fitter than me, so pes status really isn't an indicator of fitness but the level of risk the military is willing to take on the individual.
DeleteBtw Alex, are you going to write a post about your thoughts on Boris Johnson being under fire lately? On youtube I see many news outlets speculating who the new UK PM could be, even considering Rishi Sunak as a contender. I doubt he's lost power yet, but it would be nice to change PMs.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteWell I could write something if my readers are interested but if you're expecting a new PM, guess what? The Omicron wave is saving Boris for now but this is temporary. Yes he made a series of terrible blunders lately but the most serious of them all is the North Shropshire by election. Now this by election was triggered by the resignation of a Conservative MP Owen Patterson who has held the seat since the 1990s - Patterson broke the rules regarding his earnings outside his work as an MP but Boris tried to change the rules to protect his friends (when what he should have done was thrown Patterson under the bus to protect his career). It blew up badly and Patterson stepped down - the Tories thought it was a very safe seat but were delivered a brutal defeat at the hands of the Liberal Democrats who came out of nowhere to sweep into power. They were seen as a protest vote, as a referendum on Boris and whilst you may think, that's just one seat, but the significance is huge: the Conservative MPs up and down the country want to keep their jobs and Boris then becomes a liability rather than an asset. So the next general election is due in May 2024 but it may come sooner than that if we have a leadership change at the Conservative party. If all of these Conservative MPs think that they will be punished at the polls if Boris remains leader, then he will be ousted and this has happened many times before. The coup to oust Thatcher came from within her own party and Boris will be ousted the same way before the next election.
DeleteThe question is when, the answer is: not now because of Omicron. We're expecting a very rough few weeks in December-January as cases soar through the roof and taking over as PM right now will be a poisoned chalice. Nobody will want to steer this ship through this storm as Omicron is a huge threat: the hospitals will be overwhelmed, the dead bodies will pile up and the government will be blamed regardless. Once the Omicron wave blows over in due course (come February perhaps), then the daggers will be out to stab Boris in the back. There was a story in the BBC today about the party splitting into two factions already: an anti-Boris and a pro-Boris faction. The situation is fluid because of the Omicron factor, but once this wave of infections is over, Boris will be stabbed repeatedly in the back by his own party and I can't wait to watch that happen. As for who will replace him, well my guess is as good as any of those Youtube videos you've watched. You know how much I hate Boris and I can't wait to see him go.
Lol so Boris is only keeping his job because nobody else wants the poisoned chalice of having to take responsibility for blundering Omicron. Okay got it haha. He should have thrown Owen Patterson under the bus, that's freaking corruption in broad daylight. I think Boris only kept his seat as PM so far pre-covid only because of the promise to "Get Brexit Done." But now that it's done, I don't see the appeal in him to the average UK voter. Not that there is much opposition in terms of other parties, I think people have pretty much forgotten Jeremy Corbyn. Like you said it will be an internal coup, and there does seem to be other challengers within his party.
DeleteWell Amanda, Boris has shockingly bad judgment. He can't even do a basic cost benefit analysis - if he tried to save Owen Patterson, he would start a downward spiral that would end his political career. If he threw Patterson under the bus, he would keep his job and look righteous. Not only did he fail to save Patterson - the MPs from his own party revolted against that blatant corruption, it has now cost him his job. If it were me (or you), the choice would be simple: self-interest and I would have personally pushed Patterson under the bus, get on the bus then drive over Patterson a few times just to make sure whilst asking the press to video the whole thing just so I make sure I send out the right message.
DeleteBut you're also totally right about the Brexit thing - it's no longer a factor now Brexit is a thing of the past. That's why the two pro-Brexit parties no longer have a cause (we have the UK Independence Party and the Brexit Party, both had some clout pre-Brexit but now have melted away to nothing) and we're back to the way things were politically pre-Brexit now that it is out of the way.
The leader of the opposition is Keir Starmer but he doesn't have the numbers to become the PM. Labour used to be popular in Scotland (where there are a large number of MPs), but Scotland has been taken over by the Scottish national party (SNP) and the best case scenario is for Labour to be in a minority governmnt propped up by the SNP to get the numbers but that's only a short term thing as the SNP want independence from the UK. Once we say goodbye to Scotland, Labour doesn't have the numbers to ever win an election ever again so it's a no-win situation for them. Internal coups do happen, that's how Thatcher got ousted and Boris has only stayed on this long because of the pandemic but just you watch, the race to replace him has began and the Conservative party will stay in power beyond the next election, albeit with Boris chucked out long before we go to the polls. The next PM will be Conservative, as for whom, I'll not speculate for now but anyone is going to be better than Boris (kinda like even Mike Pence would be better than Trump).