Reflecting on what I said in 2013 - have I changed?

Hi guys, once in a while an old post of mine suddenly gets a lot of views because someone decides to share it and whilst I do include hyperlinks to recent articles when I mention a topic that I have recently written about, they rarely go back more than a year or two. Hence imagine my surprise when an article from back in June 2013 suddenly got a lot of views and it was about me giving me up Singaporean citizenship - now that's well over six years ago so I decided to re-read it and since the world has changed a lot since I had written that article, I am going to see if it has stood the test of time. After all, I did give up my Singaporean nationality in 2007 so for an article entitled "why I gave up my pink IC" it should really come with a disclaimer "back in 2007 - that's well over 12 years ago". Well, I was so much younger back then - we're talking about an article I wrote in my thirties about events in my twenties that led to a moment in my life when I was 31. Let's look back on my thoughts from then as an older man who is 43 today and see if I disagree with my younger self.

How has my opinion changed over the last 6 years?

Back in 2013 I wrote: "I have so little faith in the PAP that I believe I'm better off elsewhere."

Today I think: Hmmm. It's not like I have any more faith in the PAP today - I still hate them as much as I did in 2013, 2003 or 1993 for that matter. I will always hate them. However, I do have a different mentality towards the government of the country I live in - look, I am living in Brexit-land today. This country voted to leave the EU in 2016 and things went downhill from the moment David Cameron resigned - Theresa May inherited a huge mess she couldn't resolve despite the best of her efforts and with Boris Johnson, it is just a race to the bottom. But guess what happened in the meantime? In 2018 and 2019, I have made more money than I have ever done so because things are going really well at work. Sorry to be blunt, but modesty aside, yeah there is no correlation between the performance of the British government and how much money I am making at work. Is it frustrating to live in a country where you're fed up with the government? Of course it is, imagine how I feel every time I read the news - but the bottom line is that it does not really affect the way I work and earn money; quite frankly, how much I earn depends so much on how hard I work, how ingenious my ideas are, how I negotiate the next deal. So whilst I still hate the PAP in 2019, I think I've actually become a lot more tolerant of bad governments regardless of the country. I can't do much about the situation - it's not like protesting in the streets like they are currently doing in Hong Kong is going to change anything, so I just focus on my work instead and that has yielded some pretty good results in the last 18 months. Of course, when I lived in Singapore, I was only a student, I didn't have a career to focus on then - I had a lot of spare time and energy to hate the government hence I had a different perspective.

Back in 2013 I wrote: "It was far easier to work all over the EU with a British passport and I was able to take advantage of so many more opportunities, take on so many more contracts with a British passport thanks to freedom of movement of labour within the EU - I can get off the plane in another EU country and hit the ground running with full rights to work. With a Singapore passport, it would've been more complicated, far more paperwork involved etc."

Today I think: Ironically, whilst it is lamentable what has happened with Brexit, I'm not affected as badly as you might think. Firstly, given the nature of my work, I'm self employed (and I also earn mostly in US dollars) so I am either on short contracts or I am working for myself. Furthermore, I am so highly skilled that I can still get those lucrative contracts regardless of what happens to our relationship with the EU after Brexit. On top of that, I am married to an EU citizen, so I can actually obtain an Irish passport if push comes to shove and I really need an EU passport. By the time we are done with this 2 year transition phase of Brexit, I'll be 45 and I intend to retire sometime in my 50s, so I'm one of those old people who would think, "you poor kids are missing out, I had so many great opportunity to study, live and work in the EU when I was young but you kids will never have the same opportunities I had when I was younger." I might feel sorry for the younger generation of British people, but as for myself, I'm not that badly affected at all especially since my work has a far more international focus these days - so I am dealing with markets outside the EU rather than with the EU per se. I am not getting any younger - back in 2013 I was still in my 30s and thinking about my career but now in 2019, I'm in my 40s and I have a different perspective so I am less bothered than I originally thought. I am angry about the politicians but it is  rather comforting to know that I will at least be okay financially come what may because I can always rely on myself.

Back in 2013 I wrote: Given that I am not interested in buying a HDB flat in Singapore (I already have two properties in London)

Today I think: Sorry, I just have to brag. That was 2013, I now have 5 properties in London and am thinking of number 6, so a Brexit induced price slump may help me snag a nice property soon. I still have tenants in the other properties and I've not had to lower the rent to get tenants in there because they are very nice properties, so it is not like all properties are equally affected by Brexit. Therefore the property market in the UK should never be treated like a monolithic entity.

Back in 2013 I wrote:  I never got along with my mother - I had a terrible relationship with her ever since I was a child and we drove each other up the wall.

Today I think: Woah, it wasn't just my mother I didn't get along with - I had an equally terrible time with my father too, I don't know why I only talked about my mother back in that 2013 blog post when really, I got along with neither of them and I'm still as distant from both my parents in 2019. I'm sorry if I misrepresented the situation because believe you me that I fought equally with both parents when I was in Singapore. Today, thankfully, we're not fighting - we just barely talk. I lost my mother in law this year and at least I had some kind of relationship with her as I talked more with her than my own parents and even then, I wasn't that sad when she passed. My parents are like really old now, so I am worried that people will think I am some kind of evil bastard when they finally pass and I am not sad or grieving at all. So on that front, nothing has changed - the only reason why I even have any kind of relationship at all with my parents is because my eldest sister makes a real effort to connect us by funneling information to my parents about what I am doing, she also tells me about how my parents are getting along, without her acting as the glue to hold that relationship together, I doubt I'd even talk to my parents anymore. What can I say, my sister is such an incredible woman. I may not get along with my parents but I really love my sister so much. I don't talk about my sisters enough - I am lucky to have awesome siblings.

Back in 2013 I wrote: Singaporeans do not think about just how very disadvantaged they are by the system - male Singaporeans get a particularly bad deal, being doubly disadvantaged by the liabilities of NS (and many years of reservist liabilities) and CPF contributions when having to compete with FTs who come with none of those liabilities

Today I think: Well little has changed on that front. However, I just want to caution against a one size fits all approach to this issue - some men do get something out of the whole NS experience, some get more than others and a lot of it is down to the luck of the draw. Sure I had a hard time during my own time at NS but more to the point, I felt that it was merely delaying me and holding me back before I started my degree in the UK - I had a scholarship, I had so much to get on with and I was stuck in Singapore because of my NS liabilities. But I suppose I was seeing the entire issue only through my own perspective. Now I am about to say something rather condescending and please don't shoot the messenger please: some teenage boys don't have that much to look forward to. Maybe they haven't done that well in their studies, maybe they haven't earned themselves a place at a good university, maybe they have no idea what to do with their adult lives and if their parents are simply not in a position to be of much help, then they may as well do NS and let's see if the experience could help them learn some useful social skills when it comes to the adult world. And even if a guy did have relatively good results, as we've found out through recent events in Singapore, they could still have shockingly poor social skills and at least NS is a time when the guys don't do any studying at all so they can focus on other areas of their personal development. This is contingent on the individual making a choice, to be productive and constructive and take the initiative to grow but I recognize that some Singaporean guys are just too passive to do that.

You may think - woah Alex, is this is major change in your attitude? Are you suddenly pro-NS? Actually no. I still think that the basic problem with the system in Singapore is that men are still discriminated against by the system and that if you have the opportunity to leave, you ought to and you should. But at the end of the day, if you're stuck in Singapore and you have no alternative but to serve NS (the way I had to), then make the best of it. Note that there are no lessons whatsoever in social skills for the men serving NS, however if you have poor social skills in that kind of environment then you will be bullied, your life will become a lot harder there and thus you are given a very good reason to quickly figure it out for yourself if you don't want your life to be hell. It's like throwing a child into the deep end of the pool and expecting them to learn how to swim very quickly if they don't want to drown. Are there better ways to teach young people social skills? Sure there are - the same way you can teach a child how to swim safely without throwing them in the deep end of the pool but if by the time you reach 18 and your social skills are still very poor, then perhaps a more extreme approach is necessary. After all, children aren't really penalized for poor social skills when they are in school; even if they have no friends, they can still get through their education somehow but if you simply cannot get along with the people you work with in NS, then your life will be hell. Note that I have completely left out the concept of serving one's country or patriotism but I'm merely focusing on the most useful skills young men can work on during NS. This is why I am cautiously optimistic about what the NS experience can do for my nephew - he could grow a lot during those two years.

Back in 2013 I wrote: the vast majority of Singaporeans are not able to simply leave and move to another country because countries like Australia, the UK and Canada have raised the bar of entry over the years. It was far easier to emigrate to such countries in the 1990s and 2000s, but ever since the recent recession hit, many of these countries have raised the bar of entry to try to protect their locals who are facing raising unemployment.

Today I think: Oh this is entirely true and if it was hard to move to the West back in 2013, it is so much harder now! In 2016 two major things happened - Trump got elected and the UK voted for Brexit, which set in motion a whole chain of events which saw our politics lurch to the right. Then in 2019, the same thing happened in Australia where the Liberal-National Coalition defeated Labour by a margin that took most by surprise. The mood in the West has gotten a lot more anti-immigrant. Even in more liberal countries like Sweden and Germany, there has been a backlash against their more open door policies when it came to accepting huge numbers of refugees. However, one thing I would point out that it has far less to do with the management of the economy or the protection of jobs for the locals - all that's bullshit. Politicians are merely saying what the people want to hear and they will promise them anything in order to win votes at the elections: so let's make this clear, this is a tail wagging the dog situation. So there are people who can't find good jobs because they're lazy, unmotivated, lacking the appropriate training and have poor social skills; but instead of admitting that it is their own fault that they can't find good jobs, they blame migrants for stealing their jobs and if a politician is willing to pander to such people, they can win those votes even if it is totally based on a misrepresentation of the actual situation. You can still move to the West today but the bar has been raised and you must be far more highly skilled to meet those criteria in 2019 compared to say 20 years ago and this has far more to do with the politics than economics.

Back in 2013 I wrote: I get the feeling that a lot of my haters expect me to return to Singapore and suffer the same injustices they do under the Singaporean system - what can I say, misery loves company.

Today I think: I still get my share of haters on my blog and I have learnt how to deal with it over the years - I believe that it is better to be hated than to be ignored. It does take a lot of time and effort to blog you know so I want people to read what I write! If reading my blog can provoke such strong feelings like anger and hatred, then I must be doing something right to get under their skin. It is very hard to get your voice heard on social media - sure you have the right to voice and opinion, you can shout it as loud as you like on multiple social media platforms but how many people would actually pay any attention to what you have to say? Perhaps some of these people have a problem with the system, with the government or with society at large, but it is far easier to make a personal attack on me because you only have to write me a hateful comment whilst trying to address your displeasure to the government is a far harder process - just look at the people of Hong Kong right now, sure they're extremely displeased but trying to get the government to recognize your point of view is virtually impossible. So there have been times when people have chosen to make me a target of their hate because I'm just one person, it is easy to hate and attack me - whereas if you have an issue with the government, then you will stare at the challenge in despair. I choose to respond with empathy and understanding - if someone is that frustrated that lashing out at a stranger on the internet is their only way of releasing some of that pain that they are bottling up, then good grief, they are seriously messed up and need to seek help. When you put yourself out there on social media, you expect to be judged and I just take the hatred I get as part and parcel of this process - I can handle it.

Back in 2013 I wrote: Really highly skilled individuals don't really need to worry about what passport they hold - they will be able to get the necessary visas wherever they go.

Today I think: This is still very true but I also want to add that if you don't have skills, money will solve the problem as well. In light of Brexit, many EU countries are lining up to sell us Brits an EU passport - with Malta and Cyprus trying out outdo each other in terms of who can give you a best deal. So they won't even look at your CV, you just have to prove you're rich enough, pay a bribe fee to the government there, invest some money and they will grant you residency that can be converted into citizenship. Heck, that route is open to anyone who has money because money talks. The world is an unpredictable place - just look at the situation in Hong Kong deteriorating with no obvious solution in sight: the Beijing government is not going to roll over, the people are not going to just give up and accept Beijing's rule over Hong Kong so the protests will continue. It is a stalemate with no winners but just 5 years ago, at the start of the Umbrella Movement, nobody could have guessed where it would lead. And then you have Trump and Brexit - sigh, where do I even begin with that? The bottom line is you can't trust governments to take care of the citizens, but you can always take care of yourself if you have plenty of money. So perhaps this is me getting a lot more cynical with age, but I have grown weary of governments and thus have put my faith in my own ability to earn loads of money, so I an always take care of myself by making sure I am successful in my career and earn a lot of money. That is one major change in my mindset - I had more faith in the British system in the past, now I put my faith in my money, which I full control over rather than political system.

So, allow me to answer a question which I had been asked a lot: in light of Brexit, would you have kept your Singaporean passport? If you were given a chance to get a Singaporean passport again despite having renounced it, would you take it? Well, let me give a simple answer: I would have still given up my Singaporean passport regardless no doubt about that. Yes circumstances have changed somewhat and my attitude towards my nationality has evolved a lot as I am now in my 40s, but a few fundamental facts still remain: firstly, I needed to be put in a situation where I had to prove myself, that meant taking me out of my comfort zone and being thrown in a far more challenging situation. When I decided to move to Europe, there were plenty of people in my life who were cynical and were saying things like, "you'll be back in Singapore within a year - mark my words: you'll never ever make it in the West." And for me, I suppose I needed that kind of motivation to want to prove them wrong, to prove that I can make it and that's just the kind of person I am - I respond well to challenge and the pressure when there's something at stake. Furthermore, I needed to get away from my parents in order to get along with them - unfortunately there's a lot of crap going on in my family right now (my parents are fighting all the time - I'll spare you the lurid details) but somehow, they have chosen to keep me out of it by not talking to me about it (even though my sister has told me everything) and out of respect for my sister, I am just keeping up with the facade that everything is okay because my sister has kindly requested for me to stay out of the arguments. There's no happy family waiting for me in Singapore, just a really messy situation that I'd rather not be a part of. In contrast, I am very happily settled here in the UK and after so many years in the West, there's just no way I can reintegrate into Singaporean society anyway. So a Singaporean passport would be pointless, I'm far more interested in an Irish passport.

There are civil liberties in the UK I simply cannot take for granted: you still don't have true freedom of speech in Singapore, you still don't have a functioning democracy in Singapore - this wouldn't bother you in Singapore if you completely trust the PAP to lead the country in the right direction, but if you don't then you don't have a say about the situation and that can be deeply frustrating, which is why I left in the first place for a country with a system where there is genuine democracy. Yes I am deeply unhappy with the Brexit situation but this is a result that a genuinely democratic system delivered - compare that to Singapore where the PAP opened the floodgates to over a million migrants from China, the local Singaporeans certainly didn't want this but they never ever had a say in the matter and if given a choice, they would have said no to all of these PRC migrants without a doubt. I grant you the system here in the UK is far from perfect and I don't always get the results I want - but still, I see a flawed democracy being far superior than having no democracy at all. Then of course, I'm a gay man and the LGBT community still have no rights in Singapore, it remains a homophobic country. We have openly gay politicians in government for crying out aloud, I can go to meet my Irish family and be introduced as my partner's husband to everyone, whereas if I show up at my parents' funeral with my husband, Singaporeans are going to be homophobic even at a funeral. That's why so many gay people who can leave Singapore have left Singapore because of the homophobia there - little has changed over the last few decades on that front. There isn't a country in the world that is perfect, but I have a very, very long list of countries I'd rather live in than Singapore not just because my parents are there and I really hate the PAP, but life is too short to be the frog at the bottom of the well.

Okay, so that's it from me on this topic - what do you think? How much has your opinion changed in the last 6 years? Do you think your attitudes have evolved or matured over the years or do you still fundamentally have the same opinions? Do we change our minds on certain issues over time - is this a process associated with getting older or is this a natural response to a world where the only thing constant is change? Leave a comment below please, many thanks for reading.