The taboo topic that even the BBC sidestepped

Hi there guys, I watched a clip on Youtube that featured a friend of mine and well, I was left disappointed that they sidestepped an awkward question that came up. This was clip was produced by the BBC and it was entitled "Things not to say to East Asians" - for some reason I can't embed it on my blog but click the link here to watch it on Youtube. The clip covered a lot of the stereotypes that white people have of East Asian people but then there was this one question that most of the people who were participating in the interview either felt too embarrassed to discuss or if they were women, they didn't know how to deal with the topic. So the statement in question was, "Have you got a tiny willy?" And one of the Chinese guys got so embarrassed by the issue he just said, "I've never seen another man's dick so I don't know, I can't compare." Really? Never in the showers at the gym? Or even if he is completely straight, surely he must have seen some straight porn involving a man and a woman having sex. They then steer the conversation well away from the issue of penile size and talk instead of white men who want to date Chinese women, because they simply couldn't get the people to address the issue. Well, I'm not too shy to talk about the issue so I thought, let me try to do this topic justice. So firstly, for the record, I'm a gay man and so I've seen loads of penises - black, white, Asian - you name it.

Are you prepared to talk about the size of your manhood?

I shall approach this with some mathematics and statistics - allow me to make a simple point by talking about the rich countries and poor countries. Now we all know that Switzerland is a very rich country and India is a very poor country, that's something we can easily ascertain from the GDP per capita and by looking at the average quality of life there for their citizens. But is every Swiss person rich and is every Indian poor? No, even within a country like Switzerland, you get the full spectrum from your mega-rich to those who are barely making ends meet and are in a lot of debt. Likewise, sure there are plenty of people in India who are poor, but there are also plenty of multi-millionaires who are crazy rich. Whilst the poor people in Switzerland are a minority in a country that generally enjoys a very high standard of living, you can't make any assumptions about how rich or poor a random Swiss person you pull off the street in Geneva is until you check their bank accounts. By the same token, if we randomly select a resident in a big Indian city like Mumbai, we have no idea how rich or poor the individual is until we look at their bank accounts. Anyone who has ever done statistics 101 will know the difference between the mean/average, median and mode - whilst these can give us a good idea of the overall picture of a collective group, it is neither reliable nor accurate to try to use to predict the size of any one subject from the sample group when we know that there could be potentially an extremely large spread of values within the sample size.

So enough about mathematics and statistics: let's not beat around the bush and talk about penises now. So are there white and black people with small penises? Yes of course there are. Are there very well hung East Asian guys? Yes indeed there are. But in any group of men you sample, even if the median, mean and mode are different with each group, there will be a range of penis sizes as the size of how big any part of your body becomes is pretty random and it's not like we can do much to influence the outcome - even twins who spend the first 9 months of their lives in the womb together can turn out to be extremely different as not all twins are identical of course. Unless they are identical twins, some siblings from within the same family can be of different height and intelligence - this is all because the genes we do inherit from our parents at the point of conception are not just their genes, but the genes they have carried from all their many ancestors. Then of course, we have to dispel the concept of racial purity because we're all a bit mixed - some of us are more mixed than others but in my case, I have documented my discovery that I'm actually mixed on my blog. Back in 2012 I took part in a DNA test to determined by ancestry and discovered that I am in fact 15.8% white - that's not a huge percentage but it still came as a shock to my parents who assumed that we were simply 100% pure Chinese. Well, I can see how my parents have made that assumption - their cultural identity is Chinese, so naturally they self-identify as Chinese because of the languages they speak, the lifestyle they lead, the kind of entertainment they consume, the kind of festivals they celebrate the kind of food they eat etc - in short, they choose to do loads of very 'Chinese' things, hence they identify as Chinese. But no, this has no impact on their DNA per se which is determined at the point of conception.

Here's the problem with this topic: it is private. We call them private parts for a reason - even amongst close friends and family, we tend not to raise the issue of penis size because it is a cultural taboo. A man just doesn't talk about his penis in public! It seems like the only people who get to see our genitalia are usually only the people we choose to have sex with - unless of course, you're a porn star who chooses to broadcast it over the internet, but that's another story altogether. So even trying to collect any kind of data for reliable studies of penile size is difficult as most men would never participate in such a study given how prudish the general population is about whipping out their penis for a statistician with a tape measurer: talk about being judged! If you are above average in size, then you're far more likely to feel confident about being measured in such a study but if you are below average (and very self-conscious about the situation), then the chances of you volunteering for such a study would become negligible. Such is the nature of a man's relationship with the size of his penis - thus any kind of study on the topic is best taken with a pinch of salt and if the study involves men measuring themselves and reporting their penis size, then that completely invalidates the study because I wouldn't trust a man to claim, "I'm 28.5 cm down there but you're not allowed to verify that as I won't show you my dick and you just have to take my word for it." Yeah, right. In the absence of reliable data and statistics, we're only left with myths, rumours and hearsay of dubious, even racist origins spread by people who probably haven't even actually seen that many dicks before. Thus, I'm trying hard to introduce some vital common sense to the argument and let me start with my own body.

I have a rather large nose to the point where it is somewhat unusual for a Chinese face, I remember being teased about my big nose when I was in primary school. But no, I don't look white or Eurasian at all because I have very typically Chinese eyes. When I was a child, I have wondered about why my nose is somewhat larger than your average Chinese nose (which tends to be smaller and flatter), but of course, when I got my DNA test results, it became clear that my nose wasn't simply a random occurrence but there must have been some non-Chinese DNA that somehow worked its way into my being at the point of conception. And this is when I am somewhat conflicted: you see, if I claim I am hung like an elephant because I am mixed/Eurasian, then that almost makes it sound like I am perpetuating the myth that all Chinese men are built a certain way and that I attribute the size of my nose (and other appendages) to my 15.8% of white European DNA origin and that almost implies that people with a much lower percentage of white European DNA would have a much smaller chance of having a big nose or being well hung. No, instead I want to focus on the fact that my parents were totally unaware of carrying a significant amount of non-Chinese white DNA - it was just something they never ever thought about, it never occurred to them that they could be anything but pure Chinese. Thus I am merely pointing out the fact that there could be a lot of East Asian people out there who are in fact mixed or Eurasian but are quite unaware of it because they are only about 15% to 20% white like me - not white enough to have blonde hair and blue eyes but certainly different enough to result in some minor differences, such as the way I do have a rather big nose.

Here's a picture of me and my big nose - photo taken in Hamburg.

So even within a cohort like "Chinese people" - it is pretty impossible to define whom you should include in this category. I have a friend David at gymnastics who is half Chinese, half English - his dad is from Hong Kong and his mum is from England. So do we count him as Chinese given that he clearly has some Chinese DNA, or do we put him into a separate category like 'Eurasian'? But what about people like me then - am I Chinese enough to be classified as Chinese or would my 15.8% white European DNA be considered enough for me to be classified as 'Eurasian' like David? Where do you draw the line then? Do I need to be 90% East Asian before I can be classified as Chinese when it comes to my DNA? Would you drop that threshold to 85% or even 80%? Where do you draw the line? The fact is, this is but a moot point because we tend to self-identify with whatever ethnic, racial or cultural community based on the choices we make in life like rather than something as clinical as a DNA test. There are loads of Chinese people in China who would gladly self-identify as Chinese, but they would never take a DNA test in their lifetime because they don't really care to know whom their ancestors may be, as long as they are happy with the identity they have chosen for themselves, that's really all that matters to them. So by that token, you could be dealing with a statistically significant number of somewhat mixed or Eurasian people when trying to get a sample group of supposedly Chinese people - so you can see how this creates a real nightmare for any poor statistician trying to make sense of the situation when measuring something like penis size!

But let me use another example to illustrate how even within a group of supposedly Chinese people, you can have exceptions to the rule. I have talked about Chinese basketball player Yao Ming in my blog before - he is stunningly tall at 2.29 meters but he's not even the tallest Chinese basketball player yet, Sun Mingming is even taller at 2.36 meters tall. Both men are Chinese, from China and there's no suggestion that they are mixed or Eurasian given that their parents are Chinese too - but nonetheless, even if we are drawing from within a primarily Chinese gene pool, there is the small possibility of a Chinese person being as tall as Yao or Sun. Now there is one thing we do know for sure about Yao Ming's background - both his parents were incredibly tall as well and yes, they both played basketball professionally as well. So it is evident where Yao got the genes that determined his height. Let's take another trait common amongst British people: blue eyes. If you have both parents with blue eyes and you're most probably going to have blue eyes. If you have only one parent with blue eyes, then the chances of you having blue eyes drops significantly and if neither parents have blue eyes, the odds of you having blue eyes are not negligible, but it does become very low and would depend on if any of your grandparents and great-grandparents had blue eyes. Thus many of our physical attributes like height, eye colour and yes, even penis size would depend on the genes we inherit from our parents and all our collective ancestors. So rather than looking at 'Chinese' people as a monolithic entity, we need to focus far more specifically on the physical traits of your parents and grandparents instead - ancestors who are blood relatives whilst effectively ignoring everyone else.

By that token, you can't just look at a man's skin colour or nationality and try to guess how big his penis is. So if you want to know if a man will have a big or small penis, that's mostly down to his parents - the same way Yao Ming is extremely tall because his parents are very tall, a man who is very well hung in this department is likely to have a father who will have the same trait. Thus by that token, you can have a white man with a small penis father a son who takes after him in that department. Now if you've managed to come this far with me in the article, you'll see that I've tried hard to use statistics and science to present a cogent argument - there's a far less scientifically rigorous method I use as well and that is simply by seeing a lot of different men's penises. I do that mostly through porn, but as a gay man, it's fair to say I've seen my fair share of dicks over the years (probably more than all of my readers unless you like look at as much porn as I do) and ooh boy have I got a few interesting stories to share (but damn, I have to keep it clean for this blog). Look if you wanna talk knowledgeably about any topic, you need to know what you're talking about. If you want to give recommendations about what to see and do in Tuscany, then I expect you to have visited that part of Italy recently and have traveled through Italy a few times before. After all, you wouldn't take travel advice from someone who hasn't even visited that country before. By that token, I've seen loads of dicks over the years and whilst it's not something I shout about from the rooftops, it suffices to say that I do have enough experience to talk very knowledgeably on the subject.

So yes, I've seen tall Scandinavian guys who are really quite small in that department - any of the myths you may here about correlation of dick size to height, the size of their hands or even noses is really not true. I have seen black guys with quite small dicks (oh yeah, don't assume). By the same token, yeah I have been short Asian guys who are surprisingly well hung. But look, if we're going to talk about the penis, then I would also like to point out that the factors that determine how attractive a penis is go way beyond size - let's look at our faces. Everyone has a different face even though it is made up of the very same constituent parts: eyes, a forehead, cheeks, a chin, a nose, a mouth and ears. So why are some people considered beautiful and sexy whilst others are downright ugly and nerdy despite their faces being anatomically identical? By the same token, there are so many different parts to a man's genitalia and there are so many different components and aspects that would determine how aesthetically pleasing it looks and size is but one of so many factors. So technically speaking, yeah you can have a well hung man who doesn't exactly have a nice looking dick because for example, if he suffers from phimosis or worse paraphimosis - that's when the foreskin is way too tight and is unable to retract or return to its original position after having been retracted. Yeah there are many moving parts to male genitalia, just like a machine and it is important that all the parts work properly and do not impede performance. Many of us probably learn how penises look like from porn, but most average men out there do not have penises like porn stars: there are far more physical imperfections and variations in the real world than you may realize - just like how average people out there will look nothing like the beautiful supermodels who are on the covers of fashion magazines.

But for me, as a gay man and your penis expert today, I have to point out something else that's important: it goes way beyond the genitalia to determine if I find a man attractive or not. After all, even if a man has a beautifully formed big penis, if it is attached to a wrinkly, obese body and an ugly face, I would still say, "urgh, disgusting, no thanks - go away." Case in point, meet Roberto Cabrera - a 54 year old Mexican guy who claims to have the world's biggest penis - this has been disputed as a number of guys have made the same claim but let's for a moment, give him the benefit of the doubt - it still doesn't change the fact that he is - well, how can I put this delicately - extremely ugly and looks quite vile. By the same token, the most popular gay porn stars out there are not those with the biggest dicks - rather, the factors that tend to determine their popularity include a handsome face, a fit body and their ability to perform for the camera; dick size is pretty far down the list when it comes to a factor determining just how famous and successful they become in the porn industry. You can have a porn star with an average sized penis becoming quite popular as long as he ticks all the other boxes, but it would be virtually impossible for someone who is plain fat and ugly to become hugely popular despite being well hung. I dispute the cliche of "it's not how big it is but how you use it" - rather, I believe that it is not how big is is that matters, but let's look at the rest of the man please starting with his face. And at the end of the day, men don't walk around with their penises on public display; instead, we start with the face: does the man have a handsome face? Then we move onto the body: is he fit? Is he fat? But what goes on below the belt remains a mystery until you actually see it.

And finally, before I conclude, let me address the one question I think some of you would be asking, "you can't do a whole blog post on this without telling us how big or small you are." Well, allow me to address that question - so far, I've only talked about my nose and have even posted a picture of my face so you can see what I mean about the size of my nose being somewhat larger than average for a person who is mostly Chinese. But there's nothing offensive or obscene about my large nose - I show the world my nose every time I walk down the street or post a selfie on Instagram. If I were to make certain claims about the size of my penis here, then how would you react as a reader? Would you simply trust me and take my word for it if I gave you a measurement? Would you demand proof because anyone can make a claim like that without verifying it? And what kind of proof would you demand, just a photo of a penis or would you say, "I have to be able to see your face clearly in the same picture to know that this is definitely the penis that is attached to your body, that you didn't just send me the photo of a penis of a famous porn star." And woah, I have always said that my readers actually do know me really well because I do pour my heart and soul out on my blog and talk about many matters very honestly, but do you really want to know me that well? Or would you rather say, "no thanks, I really don't need to know - that's a private matter, let's keep it that way." And until I decide to do an Alvivi and become a porn star like my (rather well hung) friend Alvin Tan, I don't intend to post any X-rated pictures/videos of myself on the internet for now.

Okay, so that's it from me on this cheeky topic, what do you think of this stereotype? Is this just simply a racist stereotype or do you believe there is no smoke without fire? What have your experiences been when it comes to this topic and what are your expectations? So, please do leave a comment below and let me know what you think, many thanks for reading.