My mother found all kinds of excuses, refusing to accept that my nephew does have a problem with English - after all, she gives my nephew English tuition and if he is struggling to pass the subject at the school, then surely something is wrong with the way he is taught. I suppose as his tuition teacher, my mother took it personally when I said that my nephew's English is quite simply, terrible. Sorry for being so blunt.
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| No, not my nephew's textbook I'm afraid. |
This is why I am not impressed with my nephew's English: he is unable to make the distinction between Singlish and English. Singlish is fine for informal settings amongst family and friends, but the problem is that he writes the way he speaks - young children are simply unable to make that distinction between formal and informal speech so his written English is pretty colloquial. This probably explains why he is struggling to pass English at school and yes I have seen his homework, so I know what I am talking about.
My mother kept insisting that my nephew speaks English well and I had to choose my words carefully in response to that, "it is good that he isn't shy to speak up and express himself - it is very healthy for children to have the confidence to interact and communicate with their peers and other adults around them like that. However, his pronunciation is terrible and his grammar is rubbish. The kid is speaking Singlish all the time, not English - now I have absolutely nothing against Singlish and I consider Hokkien as a my first language. But the kid is learning English at school, not Singlish and that is why he is struggling to pass English as he is rather confused."
My mother claims that he does watch American TV programmes and has no problem understand the Angmohs' English. That may be so, but I had to point out to her that understanding American English is not the same as being able to speak American English or standard English. Given that my nephew doesn't interact with any native speakers of English, he has never really had the need to venture out of his comfort zone and attempt to speak proper English.
Now some Singaporeans know the difference between informal language and formal language - we can joke and laugh with our friends in Singlish and then switch to formal language when we go for a job interview or take an English exam. It is called code-switching and many of you are familiar with it. I have never really had a problem with that as I would usually language switch rather than code switch, given that I grew up in Singapore primarily speaking Mandarin and Hokkien rather than English - so for me it was Chinese for informal chat, English for formal studies/work. However, my nephew has yet to understand how code-switching works - he doesn't have a more formal, standard form of English to switch into because nobody has taught him how to speak standard English properly. All he has is Singlish.
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| This is how I feel when I look at the way my nephew writes in English. |
"He needs to learn to speak Standard English, what he is speaking now is anything but proper English," I declared. My mother then suddenly got so incredibly defensive. "What is wrong with the way Singaporean speak one? We have been speaking like that for decades and we have always got by just fine one. Why must speak like angmoh one then good izzit? You think Angmoh English is better one meh?"
I then explained to her that she had just contradicted herself, which confused her somewhat. "Lr si kaki... You are 自相矛盾... sorry I don't know how to say that in Hokkien." She still didn't quite get it - so I explained further. "You have spent the last few years bludgeoning your grandson through the Singaporean education system for what? For him to simply 'get by'? Or for him to do well?"
"Of course it is for him to do well lah, we want the best for him what," she replied.
"That's fine - if you think that it is important for him to excel and do well in his studies, why is it okay for him to simply 'get by' in English then? Surely you would want him to be so good in English he could be a radio DJ, a newsreader or a professor in English at NUS. You have just said that you want the best for him, that would mean giving him an education that would enable him to have those opportunities open to him, rather than have doors shut to him because he can't speak half decent English. At this rate, he may even fail his PSLE English."
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| Are you able to express yourself confidently in English? |
"Sure plenty of people in life just 'get by' - that auntie who works at the photocopy shop near Ang Mo Kio library only deals with locals, she would never have to deal with a tourist or represent her company at an international business conference, so she can speak Singlish all day long and it would be perfectly alright. But place her at the front desk of an airline at Changi Airport and the foreign travelers would struggle to understand what she is saying in Singlish. Do you want to give your grandson an education that will enable him to deal with foreigners in an international context, for him to go on business trips and represent his company with pride? Do you want your grandson to be handicapped by his inability to speak English properly?"
Silence. My mother then said, "I speak like that all my life one where got problem one lah?"
"Mum, you were a primary school teacher, you dealt with primary school students in Ang Mo Kio all your life. Your students all understood you and you understood them fine because you all had the same accent. If your students had a teacher with a foreign sounding accent, then they may struggle to understand the lesson. However, what are you trying to do as a teacher? Are you preparing your students for the working world? Are you imparting skills that will serve them well when they become working adults? Or are you simply leaving them to 'get by' with the bear minimum? Will they be able to communicate with the rest of the world effectively in English or would they only be understood by others in Ang Mo Kio who speak Singlish?"
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| When does a strong accent hinder communication? |
"Do you want your grandson to do well in life, or simply 'get by'? If so, then fine, spare the kid all that endless tuition and let him go out and play with his friends, do loads of sports. He will 'get by' in life one way or another without any tuition or extra lessons. It's perfectly fine to just 'get by' in life, even without a degree - but somehow, I don't think that's what you had in mind for him, to just 'get by' in life. So do you want him to just 'get by' or do you want him to excel? If you want him to excel, then fine send him to all those tuition classes but also make sure he learns how to speak English properly. Just because you can't speak English properly doesn't mean it is okay for your grandson to speak English like you. Put your pride aside and think what is best for your grandson."
Again, silence. Ooops, did I go too far in pointing out the obvious to my mother, that she can't speak English properly? A rather long awkward silence ensues.
"Er... Mum, hello? Are you there?"
"I think you better speak to your sister lah. I pass the phone to her, okay?"
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| My mum teaching my nephew English = the blind leading the blind |
There you go, that was my argument with my mother. She has her blind spots - I suppose it has been quite a long time since she has had to speak to a foreigner, so she is obviously oblivious to how bad her English actually is. It is also a matter of pride for her - would she be humble enough to admit that she probably isn't the best person to help my nephew with his English if he is really struggling that much with the language? I doubt it somehow - my mother sees herself as the solution rather than the problem (and I beg to differ).
I don't get it - I came from a Mandarin/Hokkien speaking household in Ang Mo Kio but had no problem learning English with little help from my parents. I suppose my two very intelligent older sisters were definitely helpful but hey, my two older sisters are still around too and a big part of my nephew's life, so why he is struggling with English despite their efforts? I suppose I picked up a lot of English simply by watching TV, but my nephew watches TV too. I don't think the English teachers I had in primary school or secondary school were that brilliant either, but I wasn't prepared to 'get by' and I found a way to conquer the English language one way or another. So what is the missing piece of the puzzle for my nephew's quest to master English? Or are some people just not good with languages and will always just 'get by'?
What should I do? Shall I tell my sister that my mother is probably not the best person to tuition my nephew and that my mother is probably part of the problem rather than the solution? Sigh. I hate to be the bearer of bad news but I do feel like I ought to say something. Please do leave a comment below, thanks.
From the looks of it, your mother might be in a certain degree of denial about her speaking Singlish. This reminds me of a situation with regards to a friend of mine. When she left her marriage to her Canadian husband, she told me then that she would not want her baby daughter to be brought up in Canada, and she noted that her former in-laws, including her sister-in-law then, had a certain 'slang' from her Singaporean perspective. Actually, I do think that regardless of our background and nationality, we all have an 'accent'. "Not having an accent" is actually relative from the perspective of the beholder and audience. Take for example the case of an American or Canadian who says that someone who migrated to North America from Mexico or Asia has an accent. Is it not counter-intuitive to pretend that they themselves--the North Americans--do not have an accent?
ReplyDeleteAbout your mother's defensiveness, I suspect though that her defensiveness seems to be common even among other Singaporeans too. It does not only apply to how some Singaporeans say that they speak and pronounce English the British way when in actuality, it is not true. It has to do with the ways in which Singlish or Sinic forms of expression have made their way into the English language as they use it, such that they simply do not know how to distinguish between either anymore. If one has expatriate teachers such as me(I guess you too) in the public school setting, then it is a bonus and allows us to distinguish between either Singlish or standard English. However, I suspect the majority of Singaporeans do not know of that difference. Personally, I do not see how speaking standard English is being 'Caucasian' or 'white', but it seems to be a common wrongheaded idea among many Singaporeans that if you speak proper, grammatical English, that you must therefore be trying very hard to be white.
Oh my mum is in total denial that she is speaking Singlish - she says it is English but with a Singaporean accent. Does having a Singaporean accent allow you to break the rules of grammar? Does having a Singaporean accent allow you to mispronounce so many words? Facepalm. Groan. She is soooooooo defensive it is unreal.
DeleteIf she wants to be blissfully unaware of how bad her English is, I'd gladly leave her alone lah - it is no big deal to me. She is my mum and she is kinda old you know. But I just fear that she is doing my nephew more harm than good in giving him Engrish tuition...
I doubt your sister is oblivious to this fact. If she is then she is probably not doing a very good job of raising her kid.
ReplyDeleteEnd of the day you can tell her about it but final decision rests with her, don't you think so?
Well, it's complex with my sister - she argues with my mum a lot over a lot of things and my nephew is there to defuse the tension when they turn their attentions to him, rather than each other. My mother cherishes her time spent with her grandson and my sister would be wary about 'depriving' my mother of her precious time with her grandson (which my mother obviously enjoys).
DeleteLet me give you an example of a grandma-grandson activity they do: they would take a story book and my mum would read one page, my nephew would read one page. My mum would mispronounce so many words, my nephew would pick up all her mistakes and mispronounce the same words in exactly the same manner. I once witnessed this within earshot and tried to join in and so I read one page too - but in standard English without the terrible mispronunciations. My nephew said that I read like an Angmoh and my mother said, "okay, fine dat is de way you all talk in Engrand one but in Singapore we don't talk liddat one leh?" At which point I wanted to say, geez are you teaching the kid English or Singlish? No wonder he is struggling to pass English at school because grandma insists she knows what she is doing. Facepalm. It is so easy to look the other way ... after all, I aced English at school with little help from my mother, in spite of her Singlish influences. So I'd always figured out my nephew would just take a few years to figure it out, but now it seems he may struggle to even pass PSLE English. Crikey. What do we do?!
Hi Limpeh,
ReplyDeleteI have some materials I would like to share with you in private. How would I go about contacting you?
It depends what it is - as a rule, I don't enter into any private correspondences with my readers as I prefer interacting with them like this on the forum.
DeleteIt's for the simple reason that if we have something interesting to share, then let's put it out here in the open so others can also benefit from the knowledge. Yeah?
LIFT, allow me to give a domestic, family-oriented perspective, as a father trying NOT to "bludgeon" his kid through Spore's education system (but failing miserably so far). If I had a mother-in-law who's an ex-teacher, giving free tuition to my kid, I would get down on my knees and thank my lucky stars.
ReplyDeleteTheres a difference between using a language for interaction, and having to ace an exam in that language. For a local student, the importance of the latter takes supreme precedence and 1st priority over the former. When I was in the U, my peer doing a BA in English Language (quite shockingly to be honest) was by no means proficient in the language, but still managed to graduate with Honours. And I have heard that foreign students from China get perfect scores in grammar MCQ/ fill-in-the-blanks English tests, but cannot write a coherent essay?
So, I dont think your mother is to blame for your nephew's poor results in English. It should be the English teacher in his school who is responsible. Your mother is just giving him tuition to supplement what he is taught in school. This probably means your mother goes through heaps of assessment books. Practice exercises with model answers (tenses, subject-verb agreement, prepositions, word class, etc)!
Your nephew just needs to learn the rules by heart, maybe memorise a few idioms to use in his compo, and enjoy reading (never mind the flawed pronunciation -PSLE Oral testers are Sporean pr sch teachers like your mom). Written exams measure students' comprehension of technicalities like syntax/ usage/ fictional passages, but bear little resemblance to daily communication.
Using Singlish in normal conversation will not affect his mastery of said rules of English, just as your using Hokkien will not affect your command of Mandarin. So, as long as your mother is giving him work aligned to the rubrics of his school's English exam format (as an experienced teacher, she certainly should be), she has done her job. MOE / NIE trained teachers command top tuition-dollar. Theres no reason why your mother shouldnt be more than equal to the task of coaching your nephew, since he's in primary school (not secondary -your mom may be unfamiliar with that curriculum).
Instead, it appears the English teacher in your nephew's school hasnt given sufficient guidance on how to prepare for the exams, what types of test items will appear, so that your mom can "focus" his revision and target those areas. Or maybe the teacher did convey all this, but your nephew was simply unable to follow (or unwilling - hence the axiom "take a horse to water, but you cant make it drink")? Either way, I feel, its not entirely your mother's fault that he did badly in his English exam. Perhaps you might consider apologising for being so harsh on her (I merely suggest this, because as a parent I know how it hurts when your kid accuses you of things you dont think you deserve, & how much better it feels if the kid acknowledges this).
Hi there mate, thanks for your message. I didn't respond immediately as I wanted to ponder over what you said and not rush a respond. I wish to offer the following points:
Delete1. You make a very valid point about the teacher at school - but then again, I am somewhat sympathetic to the school teacher. After all, a school teacher has around 30 students per class to teach so if there is one weak student struggling to pass, what is the teacher to do? Give extra lessons to that one weak student? Or is it more often, in Singapore at least, the students' parents who are given the onus to help him pass be it by helping him themselves or finding the child a tuition teacher.
So yes, whilst my mother isn't responsible for his results the way my nephew's teacher is, I am still kinda sympathetic to his teacher.
2. But tell me this - how do you reconcile the difference between the kind of standard English grammar that one has to learn to pass PSLE English and the kind of very informal English/Singlish that one uses in Singapore? The problem is that my nephew writes the way he speaks - ie. very informally without paying heed to proper grammar.
My gut instinct is quite simply to censor the broken English/Singlish around him and stop people from speaking to him in Singlish altogether (but that is not going to happen) - but what is the alternative?
3. Whilst my mother does have years of teaching English to students preparing for PSLE, I cannot ignore the fact that she has an extremely strong accent, to the point of confusing Ls and Rs for example - and I can't help but feel that she is a negative influence on my nephew's learning. She is in her 70s, people of her age/generation speak English with a much stronger accent and she has not taught in a school for over ten years. I believe that if students today had a teacher who spoke with such a strong accent, the parents would raise hell.
4. My nephew is autistic and has learning difficulties - so I know for a fact that my mum has always been speaking with his teacher and the two of them do communicate on a regular basis about my nephew's progress.
5. I know that my mother is motivated by love when it comes to trying to help my nephew - but if she can't get him to do well in English after so many years, surely it is time to let another teacher have a go?
6. I think her defensive attitude about her accent is between her and me - it has nothing to do with my nephew to be honest. I have never really gotten along with my mother and sometimes she frustrates the hell out of me. Between my two parents, my dad's definitely the smarter one I communicate better with (despite having to do it in Mandarin, I feel he gets me, he understands me, I can explain stuff to him and he will understand what I am saying). With my mum, forget it. I will explain something 3 times - in English, Mandarin and Hokkien and she still won't get it. You get the idea, she's not that bright and when it comes to explaining certain concepts it is like talking to a child, gosh. This is why she latches on to this tuition role for my nephew - it is something she can handle (well, until my nephew goes to secondary school) and she doesn't feel like an idiot because she knows her way around a primary school textbook. So is she doing this for herself, to have a sense of purpose, or to help my nephew? If we can kill 2 birds with one stone, great - but my nephew grades are alarmingly bad ...
Hello, LIFT!
ReplyDeleteI don't think that there's a need to despair. The kid is still young and has yet to understand the value of speaking proper English.
Actually, I didn't do that well for my PSLE English because I come from a predominantly Mandarin/Singlish-speaking family. However, I managed to get into a decent school with other subjects making up for my shortfall in English.
Most young students in secondary schools speak passable English and he'd be likely be able to absorb and learn by osmosis.
Just a personal observation, yup.
Thanks for your kind comment mate.
DeleteI think doing well at PSLE involves a certain element of mugging and restless, active kids who are not given to mugging tend to be at a disadvantaged when competing with the muggers who have sat down with tuition teachers for many hours prior to the exam. Personally, I am not too fussed how well he does for his PSLE - I am sure things will work themselves out in the long run.
I am just wondering if my mum is doing his English more harm than good that's all - and if it is time for us to try to let someone else teach my nephew English. If I was still living in S'pore, I'd suggest that person would be me but I am living in London now.
What do you guys think? http://www.morris-allen.com.sg/ I am sold - but I know my parents and sisters would have a knee-jerk anti-Angmoh racist reaction because the place is run by white people ... but I'm like, I don't care if the teachers are white, black, Martian, whatever - as long as they can help my nephew improve his English, it is money well spent!!!
ReplyDeleteMate I too am a Singaporean in self imposed exile in blighty and I bang on about this topic all the time. I refuse to speak in singlish, nobody understands you and you sound like a peasant....
ReplyDeleteSuggest that your mum stop tutoring your nephew and hire someone else? Its a poor excuse she's given "I just speak with a Singaporean accent" and I am personally surprised she is still a primary school teacher. None of my primary school teachers (from what I can remember) ever spoke with singlish in our English classes. Pretty sure having an accent is not the same as using singlish.
ReplyDeleteWanting to use standard English is not a sign of trying to be "ang moh" or "white" but using that excuse just shows her ignorance (sorry - hate to be blunt on your mother but that's really just it). As it is I routinely correct my mother on her pronunciation - at least she tries even if she never gets better.
Really far out suggestion: get your sister to enroll her kid into an overseas school! (you could even be an acting guardian if it comes down to it) I moved to Australia before I started grade 4 and I can tell you that ironed out my English far better than any lessons from tutors would ever do. The public humiliation of poor pronunciation is the fastest cure for it from personal experience!
My mum is retired, she has not taught in a primary school for about 15 years - you'll be amazed what they got away with back then. Her students spoke Singlish, her students' parents spoke Singlish, everyone spoke Singlish - so when the teacher spoke Singlish too, nobody said, "eh teacher why you tok liddat one hah? why your engrish no like angmo one hah?" Like I said in a later post, I actually grew up in the same environment but picked up proper English grammar from books as I was an avid reader, so I was at least exposed to proper English that way.
DeleteYou see, I never correct my mother on her pronunciation, in fact, I speak Hokkien with her knowing that a) she's more comfortable in Hokkien b) I cringe when I hear the way she mangles English - so I'd rather let her correct my somewhat rusty Hokkien in the name of practicing my mother tongue.
My sister and mother fuss so much over my nephew (think smothered spoilt brat circa Singapore 2013) that he would never survive on his own abroad in a boarding school without so many adults running after him, doing every darn thing for him.