Hi there guys, I came across a BBC report on young people considering their options for university and I would like to analyse a statement made by a young man in Birmingham. Rizwan said that he had considered going to university like other members of his family but when he saw them struggling to find work, he decided that it wasn't for him so he is going to not bother with a degree. He was quoted as saying, "I really don't see the point. These days you can get a degree, then you go for a job interview and they ask you for experience. If you just start working, then you can build up your skills slowly so later you can end up in a better position." So is Rizwan right? It is complex, there are a few issues that we need to look at a lot more closely and discuss as Rizwan isn't completely right either - so in today's post, I shall be looking more generally at this argument for young people to not bother with a degree in this day and age, as many more young people like Rizwan are making that conscious decision not to spend all that time and effort getting a degree.
1. There are jobs that do require a relevant degree, whilst others don't.
If you wanted to become a doctor, you need a degree in medicine and have all the relevant training in order to obtain the qualifications to practice as a doctor. The same can be said about many more technical careers such as in engineering where there is a clear division between an electronic engineer who has all the relevant degrees and a technician like an electrician who has entered the profession without a degree. Hence in this case, the electronic engineer will often be paid more than the electrician and it will be a lot easier for the engineers to increase their earnings compared to the electricians because their careers are on completely different trajectories and they are doing very different tasks on a day by day basis. We don't know what kind of career Rizwan had in mind but if he wanted to become an electrician, he might find himself very frustrated when he see the graduates who have become engineers progressing a lot more quickly with their careers. However, if Rizwan somehow managed to get a job in financial services like me, then the fact that he doesn't have a degree matters a lot less - in banking, employers tend to employ candidates who are graduates but that's not always the case given that most candidate don't have a relevant degree at all! The employers simply want to employ people who are fast learners, good problem solvers and have great social skills, so they can adapt and climb that steep learning curve quickly in the banking world. After all these years in banking, no employer has ever bothered to ask to see a copy of my degree or even ask which university I studied at which is just as well, as I have a completely useless degree in any case. Thus if Rizwan is going to eschew a degree, he needs to then consciously avoid career paths where that is going to hold him back - so for example, finance and IT are probably really good options for him, whilst we can rule out engineering and healthcare. If Rizwan is willing to accept that some career paths will be closed off to him, then he can get quite an advantage over his peers in saving a lot of money and time by not bothering with a degree. Unfortunately, the BBC article doesn't tell us what kind of job he has at the moment or what his long term career ambitions are; all we can do is hope that he knows what he is doing and that things work out well for him in the long run.
2. What about building up your skills then?
This is the part that Rizwan has taken for granted though as it is not as simple as it seems. Allow me to give you an example from my company at the moment: currently we have a young person whom we shall call 'Dylan' (not his real name) doing some work experience with us. Dylan is related to the big boss and thus has been given the opportunity to learn from our COO '(chief operating officer'). Our COO is extremely busy and she is more than happy to get an extra pair of hands to do some of her work, even if that has to come in the form of an intern like Dylan, rather than a full time member of staff. Nonetheless, she has given Dylan an assignment to do and I was asked to take a look at the work that Dylan had produced as it involved an area that I knew a lot more about than my COO. Thus I 'marked' the assignment that Dylan had been tasked to do and concluded that 34.8% of it met my standards whilst 65.2% was incomplete, incorrect or wrong in some way. I shared my findings with my COO and then we spent some more time with Dylan training him to perform that task better. I was very patient with Dylan as I knew he was related to the big boss, I wouldn't normally be this nice or patient with a colleague who only delivered 34.8% on an assignment given to him. But then again, Dylan was just a kid with no experience, my expectations weren't high and hopefully he will perform better on the next assignment we give him. In this story, it is evident that Dylan is in a very privileged position as he had both my COO and myself training him and helping him improve a number of skills required to perform that task well. So would Rizwan be able to teach himself such skills without senior members of staff in a company taking the time and effort to train him? No, Rizwan would end up doing working class jobs for non-graduates, such as in the service industry and any kind of training he would receive would be restricted to do those working class jobs well. Imagine if Rizwan gets a job working in McDonald's as kitchen crew, the only training he would receive would be from a local branch manager and it would be related to tasks like preparing the food or cleaning the premises; however he will never ever be invited to participate in a marketing meeting at the head office for McDonald's latest advertising campaign. We call that kind of privilege nepotism.
3. But if Rizwan doesn't have relatives who are big bosses, is he better off getting a degree then?
It depends! Whether you are a graduate or not, getting extra help in the form of nepotism will always boost your career. When you attend a university, you're paying for the staff there to teach you a course which hopefully will turn out to be useful and relevant to your future career. But I am a great advocate of teaching yourself useful things - I pride myself in being fluent in Spanish despite never having taken a single Spanish lesson in my life. However, I think it is a huge ask to expect someone like Rizwan to simply figure everything out for himself without getting the kind of help that Dylan is getting from me. Getting a degree is a useful experience for immature young people to learn how to figure out very difficult concepts - your lecturer is going to tell you to read up on chapter 17 before next Monday and be prepared to come to the next class to discuss what you have learnt about chapter 17, you're not going to get spoon-fed information about chapter 17 like a kid in primary school. Thus I benefitted from that experience of doing a lot of independent research on my own at university and I became very good at procuring the kind of information I needed. Could I have done that on my own without spending three years at university? Yes, I think so, but hindsight is 2020. But let's be clear, the kind of attention and help that your average university is getting from their tutors is nothing compared to the quality of help that Dylan is getting from myself and my COO. Dylan is getting something so valuable that no amount of money in the world can buy and that's probably the kind of experience that a working class young person like Rizwan will never be able to benefit from, even if he did made it to a very good university. Thus I would say that if Rizwan had the grades to go to a great university, then it wouldn't be a bad idea to get that degree. But if he only had the grades to make it to a very mediocre (or worse) university then I would be the first to tell him to forget getting that kind of degree as it wouldn't be worth his time at all to pursue. He didn't give us any information about the other members of his family who didn't benefit from getting a degree, but I doubt they went to great universities like Oxford and Cambridge. At least Rizwan does seem to have a good attitude in this aspect and he is willing to think outside the box rather than just expect someone else like the government to step in and help him. But how much he can achieve on his own when competing with guys like Dylan?
4. Rizwan made a point about the importance of having work experience, is that a valid point?
Actually, no! You can have decades of work experience but if it is not relevant, then it doesn't count for anything I'm afraid. The problem that Rizwan faces is that he isn't really qualified to do any kind of skilled or professional job at this stage and he is really dependent on an employer giving him that first step into a new career, he needs to get his foot in the door. Rizwan is currently considered unskilled and he needs to have sufficient training before he can acquire a skill to perform a more highly paid job. So if Rizwan wanted to get a job as a delivery courier, he could start today as the job is really quite easy - all you have to do is get the package from A to B either by bike or car. But jobs like that pay very little and if he wanted to pursue a far more lucrative career, then he would need an employer to provide the requisite training on the job. Someone like Dylan has that opportunity given to him on a silver platter, all thanks to nepotism but what about Rizwan? He could spend years going from one poorly paid job to another and if he comes to me ten years from now, I'd simply look at his CV and say, yes I can see that you've been working for over ten years since you have left school, but none of that work experience is relevant to the role I am recruiting for so I have to say no to you. Without a rich and successful relative using nepotism to give Rizwan those valuable opportunities, I'm afraid a lot of the work experience that he can get for himself would be totally useless when it comes to accessing better paid professional jobs. Yes there are some things which you can teach yourself, such as in my case, when I studied Spanish on my own but the whole point about getting a degree from a top university is to impress an employer to the point where they are convinced you're brilliant, that you will make an ideal employee and so they will be happy to invest time, energy and effort giving you the training you need to do the job well. That was the route that most people have to take if they are not as privileged as Dylan. The odds are stacked against Rizwan and whilst he is aware of the need to build up his skills to access better jobs, I am not sure he is aware of just how difficult it is to access those opportunities to get the right training. Without a degree from a top university and/or some nepotism, Rizwan may find himself moving from one lowly paid job to another over the next few years and make little progress with his skills training, so I hope he has not underestimated this aspect.
5. Are employers being unreasonable in asking for both a degree and work experience?
No, get real - they are not! The fact is for every one good position that opens up, there will be so many applicants for that job. So imagine if there are 20 very credible candidates for that one position, the employer isn't going to say, "oh they are all great, so instead we shall conduct a lucky draw to select the candidate at random." Instead the employer will use other criteria such as relevant experience in order to further separate the different candidates to narrow down the field. Practically all university students get some work experience when they are undergrads, so that could come in the form of part time work, volunteer work and internships. Privileged rich kids like Dylan will often get excellent internships whilst poorer kids have to work to make ends meet, but if you went through university with zero work experience, it then begs the question - what the heck were you doing with your free time? Playing computer games or sleeping? Furthermore, note that with most entry level positions where employers are actually quite relaxed about work experience you may have, as they just want to see that you can function in the working world. If we are dealing with a candidate who is applying for an entry level position, then in the vast majority of cases, employers will be reasonable in terms of how much relevant work experience they are expecting a fresh graduate to have. Whereas if you want to apply for more senior positions, then of course employers have every right to demand a certain amount of relevant experience as they want someone who can hit the ground running, rather than get a newbie who will need a lot of training and help for the first six months. The fact is you're never going to get graduates who have been taught everything they need to know to do the job at university because the university has absolutely no idea what kind of jobs their students will apply for upon graduation. So even if you did a degree in engineering to qualify as an engineer, every company employing engineers will have different projects they are working on and each project would require a unique set of skills specific to those projects. So employers just want to have some evidence and reassurance that the young candidate is experienced when it comes to adapting to these challenges, when presented with the steep learning curve associated with any new project.
6. The delayed German train analogy - always make sure you get on the right train.
Time for an analogy: last summer when I was on holiday in Germany, I was traveling from the city of Trier to the town of Merzig and there were two options available. There was the express intercity train makes very few stops and the slower regional train which stops at every single little village along the way. It is possible to travel from Trier to Merzig on the express train but when I got to the station, I saw that the express train was delayed but the slower regional train was on time. My first instinct was to just jump on the slower train as I know I would definitely get back to Merzig that evening on it, even if it was slightly slower and I had no information about when the delayed faster train would arrive at Trier station. However, I decided that I needed to try to get more information before jumping on that slower train. Besides, I wanted a chance to practice my German with the lady at the information desk. Thus I explained my situation to her, I needed to get back to Merzig this evening, can you help me decide if I should wait for the delayed express train or if I would be better off getting on the slow train that will be departing soon? Being German, this lady methodically started typing away on the computer in front of her, then quickly made a phone call to confirm the information she found and then said to me that the delayed train is actually no more than 15 minutes away from Trier but it had been stuck behind another train that had broken down. However, she had just received confirmation from her colleagues that the broken down train has been dealt with and so the express intercity train will be on the move again very soon. By her calculations, I would still get into Merzig a lot quicker if I waited about 15 to 20 minutes for the express train, as it would eventually overtake the slow train that is departing imminently from Trier station. I took her good advice, went to get some take away food in the station concourse before boarding the delayed intercity train for Merzig and sure enough, as I had been reliably informed by that kind German lady, the train I was on did overtake the slower regional train en route to Merzig. So the moral of the story is that my initial instincts to jump on to the first train leaving Trier were wrong and I had done right thing by speaking to that lady who knew far more about that situation than I did so I could make an informed decision about which train to choose.
Let's compare Rizwan's situation to what happened to me in Germany, I can understand why Rizwan might feel happy for stepping into the working world ahead of his peers. Whilst they are still in student mode, doing homework and attending classes, Rizwan feels like an adult - he is going to work and his colleagues in his team are older than him. Most of all, he is earning money whilst his peers are still either mostly dependent on their parents or desperately trying to make ends meet whilst working a few part time jobs as university students. However, it is important to focus on what will happen 20 or even 25 years in the future - would Rizwan be better off than his peers who did go to university or would they eventually overtake him in terms of their earning power? So we're back at the train station in Trier where we have to decide if we want to get on the slower train that is leaving imminently or wait a long time for the express intercity train. Rizwan has jumped on the slower regional train and he is betting on an outcome whereby those who are waiting for the faster intercity express train would never catch up, that he has amassed enough of a head start to always have an advantage. So whether catching the first train out of the station is a good strategy will depend on just how delayed the express train is, are graduates going to gain a much bigger advantage over Rizwan in the long run and would that advantage thus make it worth the sacrifices to get a degree worthwhile? This is not an easy question to answer, as it would depend on what kind of degree the young person is getting. Getting a degree from an excellent university like Oxford or Cambridge would be like waiting for the fastest bullet train from Japan, you know it is going to give you a massive advantage for the future. But if it is a useless degree from a university at the wrong end of the league table, then it is highly unlikely to give you any kind of advantage and then you're far better off doing what Rizwan did by entering the workforce without that kind of degree. What you need to do is for someone to analyse your A level results and prescribe the best decision based on the options available to you at that point - there is no one size fits all solution, so even in Rizwan's case, it would depend on how well or badly he did for his A level exams. I wonder if he had anyone to turn to, in order to make the right decision about all his options? I fear he may have way too much confidence in his own judgment.
7. Wait, you're making an unfair assumption here about Rizwan's situation.
Well, yes I did realize that I had taken one look at Rizwan's situation and made a few assumptions which may or may not be true - I saw that he's from Birmingham, Muslim, South Asian: thus most probably very working class and therefore extremely unlikely to have the kind of good results that would have given him access to any of the universities at or near the top of the league tables in the UK; yes, I also made the same assumptions about the other members of his family who did get a degree. If Rizwan had the grades to go to Oxford, he wouldn't think twice about it. Likewise, if his family members had a degree from a top university like Oxford or Cambridge, then they wouldn't have had any difficulty finding work upon graduation. Hence my assumptions are not totally baseless, it is a calculated guess that is probably accurate.
8. Could we look at those who are average rather than the extreme, what about them then?
Good question, there are 130 universities in the UK. So roughly the smartest 7.7% will go into the top 10 universities, those are obviously the ones that employers would be looking out for. Then the bottom 50% will go into the worst 65 universities, now those are the ones that employers will be wary of. Then there are those in the middle who attended a university ranked 11th to 64th - but actually, it is not quite fair to say that they are in the 'middle' actually as they are above average, just not amongst the best. So the question for these people would be, is it really worth getting a degree from a mediocre university that is ranked say 45th on the league tables? At what stage do you draw the line and say, beyond this ranking, you're better off not getting a degree at all because that choice of university will raise far more questions like, "oh my goodness, how the hell did you end up there? And why did you do that badly for your A level exams? Did you not study for those exams?" There is no simple way I can simply draw a line in the ranking table and say that is the zone "thou shalt not ever venture beyond" as rankings can vary from year to year, particularly in the middle range where the universities can move up and down the ranking quite erratically from year to year - this is unlike the very top of the ranking, where you will always see the usual elite universities that always occupy the top spots. Well, the closer you are to the top, the more likely you are to get away with it - so a university that is ranked 17th or 27th on the league table isn't going to raise any many eyebrows as one that is ranked 47th to 57th on the league table. At this point, it depends on what else the individual has achieved in their lives, "okay, I know she went to a rather mediocre university but look at all of these other very interesting achievements on her CV. " Hence the more mediocre your university is, the more you are going to have to prove yourself beyond your academic achievements in order to compensate for the mediocre university and no, there is no dodging the issue here when you are faced with such stiff competition for all the best jobs. But if you are spending so much effort trying to distract potential employers with your other achievements beyond your degree, oh then that's a very good sign that your useless degree really isn't worth the time, money or effort.
So what conclusions can we draw after this discussion then?
A lot of it will boil down to whether or not you have the grades to get into an excellent university. I hate to state the obvious, but the playing field is not level at all. Someone as privileged as Dylan would get away with a degree from a terrible university or with no degree at all, as his father would be able to get him all the training he needs to ensure that he can get a good job; whereas someone like Rizwan would really struggle to get employers to give him the chance to access that kind of training without a degree from a prestigious university to convince them that it would be worth their while investing in him. Thus for Dylan, it really doesn't matter what he does - whether he goes to a good or bad university or doesn't bother with a degree altogether, his future is still bright because he would always get all the training and opportunities he needs thanks to his father. The odds are stacked against Rizwan but like him, I too am Asian and came from a working class family, so I am only too aware of the challenges that someone like Rizwan would face. I wish Rizwan good luck; I hope he will be successful in convincing senior, more experience experts in the industry of his choice to give him the training and opportunities he will need to further his career. Those vital opportunities are never going to be given to him on a silver platter and like me, he would have to fight for every chance he can get. Call me old fashioned, but I feel he should have studied harder for his A levels in the first place in order to have gained entry to a very good university. So there you go, that's it from me on this topic - what do you think? Have I been way too sceptical about Rizwan not doing a degree? What else could he do to maximize his chances of success without a degree? Do you think Rizwan made the right choice? Are degrees really overrated in 2023 or are they still essential? Have you met any young people like Rizwan who have turned their backs on a degree? Please leave a comment below, many thanks for reading.
I am of the exact same thoughts.
ReplyDeleteI do not know what industry Rizwan intends to work in. And I do not know his A'level results.
If a degree is important and he is able to get into a reputable university, I don't see why he should not obtain a degree first.
After all, the good jobs will always be available to top talents.
Hi Choaniki, we do not have that information from the BBC article and I tried Googling but no, couldn't find any more info on Rizwan given that he has a fairly common first and last name. I hope he's going to ask everyone he knows for help because people like Dylan are given so much help, Rizwan has probably underestimated the amount of help he's going to need to even stand a fighting chance, otherwise he's always going to be behind people like the Dylans of this world in the queue for good jobs. Good jobs should be made available to top talents but how is Rizwan going to prove to an employer that he is indeed one of those top talents worthy of a chance, that the employer should devote time, energy, money and effort to training him (just like the way Dylan has benefited)? But I am guessing that he probably had mediocre or below average grades for his A levels and thus getting a degree from a mediocre/below average university makes no sense and that's why he's trying to make the best of a bad situation now.
Delete@LIFT, that is the thing that Rizwan is underestimating, he thinks he could work "hard" and be recognized and work his way up the social ladder.
DeleteHe is so wrong! I speak from experience when i say that the good jobs are always gatekept by someone. Either the HR or hiring manager. Without a referral, you have zero chance of speaking to a human since your resume is filtered out by the ATS.
I was recently discussing my recent strong of job hopping. Any HR would look at my resume and assume I was a bad employee for job hopping so much. They don't stop to think that is someone is that lousy how are they getting job offers so easily? Again I am not implying job hopping = talent but you get my point.
Hi Choaniki, thanks for your comment. Yes I agree that Rizwan has really underestimated how much help he needs to get ahead, he thinks that he can just figure it all out himself without asking for some help - what he doesn't realize is that amount of help rich kids like Dylan are getting and the playing field is so not level to the point where all the odds are stacked against Rizwan. If he has a friendly uncle who is willing to offer him some kind of meaningful internship and skills training, then he'll be fine but who the heck is going to hire an 18 year old who has yet to prove himself?
DeleteAs for job hopping, perhaps you're speaking from a very Singaporean perspective and I'm going to share with you my British experience. I changed jobs a LOT recently. I started new jobs in 2021, 2022 and 2023. So four years, I have worked for five companies (long story as I am working simultaneously for two companies at the moment), that means I've changed jobs more than you by that token. Yet each time I changed jobs, I got a better package + more money - the moment I announce that I'm leaving my old job, I have instantly a few companies ready and willing to hire me. One German company even told me, "state your price" and I could've gone there, but I wasn't sure I was a good fit with their team. Thus my take on this issue is this: it's a moot point. If you're good at what you do, people will see that and ignore the fact that you've changed jobs. If they cared about you (the way the German boss cared about me), they'd sit you down over a cup of coffee and say, "hey Alex, can you tell me why it didn't work out at this company?" And I'd be honest and his response would be like, "oh that is a shame it didn't work out, but how about coming to join our team now?" The experienced people (like me and that German guy) know that sometimes, things just don't work out whether it is a new job or a marriage - sometimes, you just have to know when to say, "I'm cutting my losses and hitting the reset button" and that's completely 100% okay!!! I compare this to my older sister who isn't happy in her job but refuses to find a new one as she isn't confident that she can find anything better so for her, there's a sense of "better the devil you know" whereas for me, I've changed jobs MORE than you Choaniki (in the last 4 years) and guess what? It hasn't been an issue at all.
@LIFT, Rizwan is ignorant and not willing to ask for advice. He will flounder and sink then wonder what went wrong.
DeleteAs for changing jobs, it is not a comparison but I have changed jobs in 2021, 2022 and 2023 too. But the employment market in SG is very traditional. People like your sister are exalted while people like me are demonized.
Well maybe Rizwan is simply making the best of a bad situation, ie. he can't get into a good university with his grades, he may as well start working rather than waste his time and money on a useless degree. As for the issue of changing jobs, I am sure I would be judged very harshly for my choices in Singapore - which is why I have never ever worked for an Asian company in my life before and that's something for you to think about. Maybe your next job should be with a European company or you should become self-employed.
DeleteWell I have settled my relationship issues in China (will share with you in due course). I also have paid gigs lined up all the way till the end of the month. As for fulltime employment, she who shall not be named has not replied to me yet. But I wouldn't rely too much on her at the moment since I don't know how much she trusts me yet.
DeleteEnjoy the rest of your trip in China and we can talk about work stuff after your trip.
DeleteHey Alex. I've had several run-ins recently with people in Rizwan's situation, and honestly as someone who grew up like Dylan it is very frustrating to try to explain to them the concept of "survival of the fittest" or "supply and demand." I have this one friend, let's call him "Jonas", not his real name. Jonas, like Rizwan, is a minority, and he's in his early 20s and refuses to go to university. I told Jonas that since he likes building computers as a hobby, maybe he should become an electrical engineer to make good money. Also Jonas is currently unemployed, and he told me he has to sell his blood plasma sometimes to make ends meet when he's in between jobs. Jonas really wants a better paid job, but he thinks that rather than go to university, he could just obtain some certifications and that would be enough to convince employers to hire him. I said "yes, but what if you're competing against someone with an electrical engineering degree from Harvard? Then what?" and he said "my certification should prove I'm just as qualified as the Harvard grad, since we both have the same skills." NO, just NO. I had to tell him that the Harvard graduate had to jump way more hoops than he did to get a certification, therefore companies would rather interview the Harvard grad. But he doesn't understand that it's not about being able to do the job, it's about being the best to do the job when there are fewer jobs than those who can do said job. I mean acting is a good example, there's so many drop dead gorgeous actors/actresses bartending and waitressing in Los Angeles, who just can't get a speaking role because they have to compete with 999 other drop dead gorgeous people in one audition. Also Jonas makes other excuses like "what if I don't know what I want to do? Then I go to university for a major I hate, then drop out after 2 years with lots of debt and no degree. Then what? I'm back to square one." Jonas expects a job to be "fun" and "interesting" for him to feel motivated enough to put in effort to get good at the job. Anything less, he can't be bothered and will rather take a minimum wage job he doesn't have to think too hard for. I'm so shocked that the financial reward of earning enough to afford his own place and not live with his parents or sell blood plasma isn't enough motivation.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I did try to figure out what Jonas does like to do, and he told me he actually really likes doing sales and marketing. He loves talking to people to try to convince them to buy something, or figuring out what they like to sell better. The problem? He doesn't hustle enough to try to get into the higher paid sales and marketing jobs, which aren't the same as working as a salesperson in an apple store or a phone shop where the barrier to entry is a lot lower. Now sales doesn't really need a degree, but you have to be resourceful and try to talk your way into a good opportunity. Also Jonas falls into the trap of thinking that if he just applies for jobs online he will get interviews and offers. No, that only works for Dylan who went to an elite school, while Jonas never even went to university and doesn't have any work experience that pays above minimum wage. Even then Dylan could just network at a gentleman's club or ask a family member to get him a job, he has less of a need to apply online and drop his resume into a black hole to strangers.
Hi Amanda, I am currently going through Dylan's latest piece of research and I am frustrated - it is approximately 15% relevant, 85% rubbish. Furthermore I learnt that he is being kicked off his course at DGU (Dumping Ground University, at the bottom of the league tables in the UK). And I was like, wait a minute, DGU gives you a degree for showing up and knowing how to spell your name, how the heck do you get kicked off a course at DGU? Turns out DGU actually insisted that he did a piece of coursework and Dylan was too lazy (rich kid, remember) to even complete that piece of coursework. So they extended the deadline 3 times for him and by the last time, they said okay you were given 3 chances and we weren't even asking for much so you're off the course. And I'm like WOAH, seriously? OK respect to DGU for at least trying to get their students to do some work. And I'm like, well Dylan can flunk out of DGU with no consequences, his rich daddy will get him some job somewhere as he is so influential and powerful that people will do him favours. Jonas is a lost cause. One day he will wake up, realize he's almost 50 and is still very broke. It is so competitive out there - let me share with you what happened today. I helped a friend (an ex-colleague and good friend) get another job interview in finance with a company I know really well (the CEO there is a good friend) - he didn't get the job. He wasn't a good fit for what that company was looking for and so even if I can go as far as to score you a job interview, it's up to you to impress the company so much that they'd wanna hire you. That's how tough it is out there - so even if you did the same thing and got Jonas a job interview, he will still find a way to mess up and not get hired. Why? Because idiots like Dylan will always get a lot more help and the world is just not fair.
DeleteHey Alex. Oh lol I'm not surprised about Dylan doing poorly and going to Dumping Ground University. I think the reason why Dylan can get 3 extensions is probably because DGU is struggling to attract students which makes Dylan's tuition money worth more, so they really don't want to flunk him out. At Oxbridge they wouldn't do that because they have such a low acceptance rate they could easily replace any student who flunks out with someone on the waitlist.
DeleteI've given up on trying to mentor Jonas career-wise. But also I think as Asians who grew up in the Asian education system, Jonas just grew up with a different mindset from us. The education system in Asia is very brutal and teachers will not try to entertain you to persuade you to study, which teaches Asian kids very young that they must sacrifice some things in order to win. In contrast, the Western system is more loose but students are not told they are falling behind by not being committed. Jonas went to a very crap public school growing up with lots of gun violence in his neighborhood, and his mom is a single mother who had him very young and was too busy working to mentor him. The odds are highly stacked against him growing up a poor kid in the West compared to Dylan or even yourself who grew up a poor kid in Singapore.
Yeah, a foot in the door is not enough, unless you were an important business partner of the CEO and they had every incentive to please you. Bloomberg is a client of my dad's friend and that friend got his daughter a job there by personally talking to Michael Bloomberg. He probably gave him a slight discount on his company's services or something. Also, my cousin keeps trying to get me a job at Meta, but because he's only a middle manager, he said my resume has to be flawless to even get the interview. He said all he can guarantee is that a human being even reads my resume, but after that he can't help me any further. Similarly, like you said that's all I can guarantee with Jonas if I'm ever hiring for a job. I recently had to cancel an internship position that I already offered to a friend who was qualified, only because my boss changed his mind last minute and wanted to go with an experienced hire rather than an undergrad. It's that competitive out there.
Oh wait, it gets worse. Dylan at least made it to DGU (Dumping Ground Uni), he has a younger brother who failed his A levels and is just bumming around at home doing nothing, whilst his parents are desperately trying to tell him to get his act together as they are not going to let him just play computer games for the rest of his life and do nothing. But Dylan's brother's attitude is like, "daddy is rich, my parents have plenty of money, why should I bother getting a crap job?" Dylan at least has a sister who is normal - like she is still 16 so I can't judge her yet but at least she is in school and not causing problems like her brothers. So out of 3 siblings, only 1 is normal and 2 are complete losers. Dylan's dad is so rich and successful in the world of finance, like what the hell - why is his success rate with bringing up children so poor?! Dylan will be okay in the long run even if he flunks out of DGU. I just can't believe how many second chances these rich kids get when they fuck up, because as a working class kid, I fought for every single chance I got and there was never any room for error. Dylan doesn't just have room for error, he has a whole apartment block - make that a New York skyscraper full of rooms, all filled with errors and fuck ups, because his daddy is so rich and can buy him more rooms to fill with errors.
DeleteWhich begs the question: if Dylan's dad is so rich, then why doesn't he just buy Dylan the best education money can buy and turn Dylan into a winner? Why does he have to spend so much money on buying Dylan more room for error? Dylan's dad has money but I question how that money has been spent when it comes to Dylan's upbringing.
DeleteSo, I know a situation like Dylan barely passing his classes at DGU while another sibling just bums around at home. With that guy, let's call him "Max", his parents just couldn't be bothered. They make so much money they think they can just use it to keep Max and his sister who just stays home comfortable in place of good parenting. And they think that after they die, they'll just leave Max and his sister lots of money and they'll be fine. Basically trust fund babies. Some parents really think the solution to everything is to throw money at the problem, though in different ways. My dad went the private tutor route with my sister, and they had so many fights where my dad would ask her to pick a career and take it seriously, and my sister would just reply "but I don't know what I wanna do... I don't have a passion." She was only working hard when he was making her work hard though, since after my dad died my sister just went back to being unmotivated and settled for a working class job. And remember, my sister is comfortable already. She still gets to live in a big house in a nice neighborhood and drive a new car. There is no motivation to do well in life since she already has nice things. And yeah, the 2nd chances are so true. In undergrad, I fucked up my GPA because I was grieving losing my dad, but because one of my professors always wanted a kid who likes physics but doesn't have any, he gave me lots of second chances. I got to use his connections in place of my dad's. Even though he did really made me work for it, if I fucked up at least he wouldn't close the door on me completely like a stranger would, I could always come back and do better. We still fought at the end of every semester when my GPA was terrible(by his standards. It wasn't that bad, just not flawless), and during those fights he'd say things like "did you know I grew up poor? I had to have a flawless GPA and be an amazing scientist to lift myself out of poverty through scholarships. You have lived in luxury and have had every opportunity handed to you, so you don't think you have to work hard for it." Yeah he's exactly right, a rich kid who already lives a comfortable life has no idea what hard work and talent it takes to earn money to maintain such a lifestyle. At least I had a passion, but take a rich kid with no passion and they really can't do much except try to enjoy the money while it lasts. E.g Prince Harry. They have never tasted poverty so the concept of having to work to maintain living standards is very foreign.
DeleteBy the way, on a side note I'm going to an A.I conference in San Francisco in a few weeks, and my boss booked a table at a very expensive omakase Japanese restaurant. Wow, I'm not just a regular engineer anymore, I'm really C-suite, even if it's just a startup. But that means I have to really bring it when it comes to social skills on top of technical skills too. Not too different from my dad though, he once took a client to Disney World to close a deal.
I read this entire exchange with a quizzical interest. It just proves to me that you can lead a horse to water, but not force it to drink. Even if you spend lots of money on the person doing the leading, results will still be the same.
DeleteYes you can bring a horse to water but you can't make it drink. Poorer kids dream about having the opportunity to go to universities and take all these courses just to get the training they need, but with Dylan, Max and all these other rich kids, you can enrol them in these courses, however they are just not motivated enough to take advantage of them and study. It takes good parenting to help guide your children to find something they are truly passionate about and then hopefully, the kids will wanna work hard because they truly love the topic, it is a subject matter that they are very interested in and thus they will wanna work hard and pursue it. In the case of Dylan's good for nothing brother who didn't even make it to DGU, I know that his mother was so desperate to get him passionate about something she bought him an expensive car, just to try to get him excited about it. Sure there was that moment of "oh wow thank you mom, what an amazing gift!" Like who wouldn't like to receive a gift like that. But that's hardly the same as being passionate about cars to the point were he studies to become an engineer who can work at Tesla to build the next generation of cars.
DeleteOn the other hand, poverty can make you get shit wrong as well! I don't want to say oh rich people lose touch with reality whilst working class people are grounded - my working class parents got things extremely wrong as well, they just swung way too far the other way. Because my parents had this survival mentality, ie. you must dedicate every single moment of your time to study or else you will not get the grades you need to go to university, that meant they strictly forbidden any kind of hobbies or interests that we could be interested in. I saw them stop my two sisters from pursuing hobbies they liked and I was like, fuck that, I'm doing gymnastics whether you like it or not and I'll run away from home if I have to. I became the problem child they couldn't control and I was labelled as the one who will end up unemployed, a drug addict and in jail as a criminal because I didn't do as I was told. Instead, today, I'm earning so much more than my sisters especially when you consider our Big Mac Index - they are stuck in jobs where they have to do as they're told whereas I can be doing gymnastics, skiing or shopping but as long as my brain is actively thinking about my business strategy, I am still 'at work'; thus I have a much better lifestyle today and a superior quality of life compared to my sisters - why? Because I had the audacity to say, my parents don't know what the fuck they're talking about, I'm going to do things my way because I don't wanna end up like them. And it worked, oh boy it worked so well. I wrote a piece about how my parents fucked up my sisters' lives but it felt too personal to publish it yet.
@LIFT, talking about fucked up parenting. My dad was very strict with my elder brother and myself. He forbade us from having hobbies or relationships (not that my elder bro was every getting married).
DeleteWhen I was young, my dad confiscated my handheld console i bought with my own money (later gave to my younger brother). Pretty sure this would constitute as theft in Western countries.
But apart from unreasonable parenting, he was also inconsistent. Hence, all the arbitrary rules he set for me were not applied to the younger brother! Lost all trust in him ever since!
Hi Choaniki - I think it's too easy to demonize rich people when it comes to terrible parenting when poor, working class parents are equally capable of bad parenting too.
DeleteMaybe bad parents are bad irrespective of income levels. Not everyone is qualified to be a parent.
DeleteThat's why I wanted to address the other side of the argument to make it about bad parenting rather than correlate it to income levels - I often see rich parents demonize poor parents and vice versa when really, parenting is very difficult and thus both rich and poor people mess up.
DeleteOh yes definitely Alex, unmotivated children is a problem in both working class and rich families. I gotta say, good on you for finding your passion very early and doing everything you could to pursue it. If you had good parents they would've encouraged that more.
DeleteBy the way, it's funny you bring up gymnastics and self motivation with regards to a career mindset, because Jonas is in my fencing class. And he told me that he feels the lead instructor doesn't compliment him enough which makes him not motivated to work hard at all. I told him "you shouldn't be doing fencing drills in order to get attention from the instructor, and then complain when you don't. You should be doing drills because you want to get good at fencing." But this is the gist of the entire problem with Jonas and my sister with being invested in their own careers. They can only do things if some authority figure is rewarding them with praise and prizes, but otherwise they won't work hard at it on their own. Jonas complains I get more attention from the instructor and got invited to the advanced class despite only being here a month, but I work hard reading about fencing in my own time and making up my own drills to practice. I didn't do it for attention, since me and the instructor don't even like each other, we just respect each other in a professional way. I did all this because I love fencing. And the same applies for picking up artificial intelligence through self study and turning it into a career. If an adult has to force these people to take care of themselves, then they might as well be a toddler that always has to be minded and can't be left alone or else they'll hurt themselves. Let's just say people like Jonas and my sister never really grew up because they're still reliant on other people to motivate them.
@Amanda, self-motivation aka drive is abit hard to cultivate. You either have it or you don't.
DeleteI know some rich kids who are motivated to do their own thing instead of relying on their parents money. Just like I know some working-class people are determined to rely on government handouts instead of finding ways to break out of the poverty cycle (I met a secondary sch classmate like that just last month).
So, the conclusion is that you can be rich or poor, but you can't motivate someone to work hard. Just like you can lead a horse to water, but can't force it to drink.
I think there needs to be an element of allowing kids to try a wide range of different activities before they find something they do like and excel at - take learning foreign languages for example: I enjoy it as I can pick up new languages quickly and I find that rewarding because I can see the results. But I don't force my husband to learn them the way I do as his brain isn't built the same way, so he doesn't retain the information the way I do and so I tell him it's okay, you go pursue what you find rewarding. I do struggle with my nephew though, I was so freaking desperate to find something he was good at that - the only thing he enjoyed was computer games and so I even went out of my way to get a professional gamer to look at his scores, only to discover that my nephew was at best "average, even below average, he doesn't have the talent to do this professionally, not at all." What do you do then? I don't feel the need to motivate my gymnasts that much as gymnastics has an instant feedback system: did you land that front somersault on your feet or your bottom? Did you hold that handstand for the five seconds or did you fall out of it after less than one second? We can see the results instantly, if Jonas was in my gymnastics class, I'd be like, get the results we want and I'll praise you - otherwise, just keep working hard at it. That's how it works with the kids, they work hard to get the results because that's the only way to gain the approval of the coach.
DeleteOh lol I don't like picking up languages either, that's something I was forced to try growing up but knew I wasn't very good at neither did I enjoy it. That's nice of you to try to find a passion for your nephew. Well I think the idea is to try a variety of things until something sticks, and sometimes it's just completely random what triggering event makes it stick. I liked physics because I bought a science encyclopedia from a school bookfair when I was 8. My brother likes computer programming because he borrowed my science encyclopedia and liked the computers section. But even then my sister grew up in the same environment and failed to find anything. Wait, isn't your nephew going to NUS for engineering though? Unless he's just taking that major because he likes it more than all the other majors, and not because he's truly passionate about it. I would think, even if people don't find a passion and secret talent, and many people don't, they should at bare minimum have enough discipline to work hard to have a stable job which can support themselves.
DeleteYeah, I'm not really one for gymnastics. I was one of the slower students when I still did it. I mean it's cool to watch people do fancy tricks, but I don't really enjoy training for it and clearly don't have the talent. Fencing on the other hand is more tactical, closer to a strategy game like chess or go. I just happen to gain skills faster in fencing than gymnastics. But many people don't like or excel at everything they try, so nothing unusual.
With kids I understand, we have a primary school kid in our fencing class and she gets all the praise, even for just listening to the instructor without wandering off. Jonas is in his 20s though, he's too old to require that.
It's all about finding something - anything - that we're truly good at and for some people, sigh, like in the case of my nephew and your sister, that thing is still elusive and not found. I got my sister to note down the best scores of my nephew on his favourite games, I ran them by a professional gamer and he said, "at best, if I am being very generous, I'd say your nephew is average but if I may be blunt, those scores are below average and if this is the best he can do after playing these games over and over again, it is fair to say that he has absolutely ZERO talent for computer games even if he may enjoy playing them." #facepalm Therein lies our dilemma, my nephew likes playing computer games but I have just been told in no uncertain terms that he sucks at them and has ZERO talent for computer games - then what? Do we allow him to continue to spend hours on an activity that brings him joy but he sucks at? Like if I find a student who really struggles with gymnastics, I might pull them aside and persuade them to pick a different challenge like learning a musical instrument instead of something to do with sports if they truly suck at sports. My nephew is going to do engineering at NUS, it doesn't mean he actually likes it - he's just doing it as that's the course that his combination at A levels actually leads him to, by process of elimination. He are trying to avoid anything he truly sucks at and we're left with engineering - it doesn't mean for a moment that he is passionate about engineering, far from it. He has never ever once declared he even likes it. It's just going to be a chore, a job, something that he does to pay the bills without joy or passion. I am shaking my head as that situation is really very sad. And this is my nephew we're talking about, but what more can I do?
DeleteWell the thing about videogames is that you don't have to be a professional gamer to derive a passion from them. In fact me and my brother love videogames and spent hours on them, but we played single player games like the Sims, Elder Scrolls, or Minecraft which had a huge community of modders who programmed extra content for the game. That's in fact how me and my brother taught ourselves how to code in high school, by following online tutorials of how to create custom content for our favorite videogames. Otherwise, we are both shit at the more competitive multi-player games like call of duty or league of legends. My best friend's boyfriend however is amazing at videogames and was even hired part-time in university to play on other people's accounts to raise their ranking, but he never turned pro and ended up joining the army for a logistics role. He doesn't love/hate his job, but that's only because his parents were in the army and they taught him a lot of discipline, so he's used to the lifestyle. As for your nephew, it would be so convenient if he was the creative/curious type to become a game designer/programmer, but unfortunately that doesn't seem to be the case.
DeleteOh lol, so you just picked his best A level grades and decided that's probably his best shot of maximizing his GPA during university. That does feel pretty sad... going to class, not liking the material, barely having any motivation to study. The thing is, for people like that, if they encounter any difficulty in the job search they'll probably give up because they never loved it all that much anyway. But then again, my best friend did engineering in undergrad because she didn't know what she wanted at age 18 and her dad was an engineering major. She hated it, but at least by her final year she discovered she really loves art and wants to pursue a career as either a product designer, game designer, or interior designer. So she persuaded her parents to pay for a 2nd degree and even moved to California (which she hates btw, she loves snowy cities) to go to an art school she felt was the best for her. And now she has an amazing art portfolio that she constantly works on, and is in the process of applying for jobs as a designer. It worked out for her, but it did help that she was wealthy and had access to resources to pursue her passion once she found it.
I realise I have a knack for languages since I can sell in 3 of them (EN, JP, CN) and was previously paid to do work in all 3 as well.
DeleteIn fact I just came back China and my ex-colleagues all commented that my Mandarin had improved leaps and bounds compared to the first day I stepped into China, while their English language skills are still non-existent.
Now there is a strange quirk of mine: when I call into any support call centre I will choose the Mandarin speaking option if available. There are 2 reasons for this: 1) The queue is shorter 2) I get to speak to someone who will attempt to understand my problem and not read off a script.
Now I understand that English is the most common language in the world. I have also discovered that just because someone speaks English does not mean they understand it. And the lowly paid call centre staff usually doesn't understand English.
Hi Amanda, you're right that you don't actually have to be good at computer games to enjoy them - that's the way they are designed, they are able to provide entertainment and stimulation to the player whether or not you're actually any good at them. To be fair, I too fall into that category - I have played some computer games in the past when I was a lot younger (we're talking my teenage years) and even though I wasn't any good at them (let me be the first to admit that), I still had a lot of fun. But no my nephew isn't the creative type - that's a necessary trait to be someone who comes up with original ideas for brand new games. The fact is within a computer game, there are rules, you learn the rules, the functions, the boundaries, the limits and then your execution as a player is based on your understanding of what is possible within those rules - it is the kind of experience that suits a Singaporean who is great at following the rules as a player but if you're talking a game designer or programmer, then no, that's not for my nephew. He's way too Singaporean for that. Another reason why he wanted to do engineering was the process of elimination - forget about the arts/humanities, his English isn't that great and that's just not the way his brain is structured. Forget law and medicine, those are too competitive for him to get into. Forget business, it's a useless degree. That leaves us really with only IT or engineering and given that IT is evolving so quickly, it's pointless doing a degree in IT as the technology would have evolved so fast over the course of your degree. So we're just left with engineering, by process of elimination. And he was like yup, I was good at physics and maths, so naturally engineering is a course that I probably will do well at. Note that this was in the absence of any love or passion for engineering, which is a shame. Mind you, I don't want to be too harsh on him - I did have plenty of love & passion for geography, but that turned out to be such a useless degree at the end of the day.
DeleteHey Alex. Yup, there are many videogames that are single player with an "easy" difficulty setting for players to enjoy without being good, because videogames are designed to be mass produced and to appeal to as large of an audience as possible. I mean I love movies and music but if you asked me to make a short film or compose my own songs, I'd suck shit.
DeleteAhh well thankfully despite the Singaporean mindset, your nephew is entering the Singaporean job market, and not the European or American ones. When I was working in Singapore as an electrical engineer, the job was literally being told what to do in an excel sheet or to extract data from a database. There was no creativity involved. The only time I got to use creativity was when there was an issue none of the senior engineers could figure out, so they did a hail mary play by handing the problem to me because I was the only one who did quantum physics research in undergrad. But this was a very rare occurrence, and I wasn't even rewarded for fixing the problem since all other daily issues were so routine. In America, I have to come up with creative solutions everyday as an A.I engineer and CTO, but I also get awarded lots of bonus money when I hit certain milestones, and I get free trips to conferences to network with clients and other engineers. There is more requirement for both technical creativity and social skills if you are an engineer in the west, compared to being an entry level or even mid-level engineer in Singapore where you're just a cog in the machine. Even with the one engineer I currently manage I would never manage him like I was managed in Singapore for my first job. I would not tell him what to do step by step and expect it to be done exactly the way I asked. Or ask him to write me endless email reports(I fucking hated this in Singapore). That only works for simple tasks anyway. Instead I just give my employee a problem and ask him to come up with a solution for it using whatever programming/A.I tools he'd like to use. But then again, my engineer makes at least 2x what someone the same age makes in Singapore for the same role. And the thing is, the kind of engineering jobs in Singapore just don't exist in the US. There's no lower paying programming job that demands less work. In the US they prefer to hire higher productivity workers but fewer workers overall as opposed to lower productivity workers but more workers.
So I think your nephew will be fine. He may not like his job, but he will at least be able to get some job since there aren't that many engineering degree holders(due to government caps on places), and the jobs in Singapore don't require that much creativity anyway. I did work alongside many NUS/NTU graduates in that engineering job in SG, and they weren't too fussed by the lack of creativity required. Only if your nephew really wanted to work for a FAANG company in Singapore would he need to be extremely passionate and creative.
Yes exactly, so even someone who clearly isn't good at computer games like me can have a great time playing them. I remember when I went over to visit a friend at his flat and he suggested we played some games - I was like, okay I'd try, but be warned I'm not good at any of this as I don't play games on a regular basis. I sucked at it of course but still, I was amazed just how fun the experience was; like you said, these games are very well designed. As for my nephew, yup - he's very Singaporean, going through the education system in a very Singaporean way looking to enter the workforce in Singapore to work just like a Singaporean; that's just the way it is. He's never gonna work for a FAANG company, he's instead going to work for a very Singaporean company. As for the situation of determining what he was going to study by process of elimination as opposed to using passion/love, I hate to say this but that's often the case with a lot of average people who simply don't have that many good skills. They're not brilliant students like you, they didn't excel at school, they're not the smartest students in the class, so the teacher merely looks at their grades and say, hey you didn't suck at physics and maths, you can go into engineering by process of elimination, since you obviously suck so bad at everything else. I'm afraid that's the harsh reality with a lot of people out there and they are just grateful that the conclusion after this process of elimination is engineering rather than, 'you suck at everything, you're an idiot destined for a working class job for those who have absolutely no brains to acquire any kind of useful skills.' In the case of my nephew, the outcome has already turned out to be pretty darn good.
Delete@Amanda, there are many video games that can teach you many skills. You just need to learn.
DeleteThese are the few I used to play and occasionally dabble now and again:
- Action games like Devil May Cry and Bayonetta. They train your reflexes and reaction time.
- RPG and SRPG (Strategic Role-playing Games) these include Final Fantasy and Disgaea series. They can train your planning and problem solving skills (or just brute force your way thru via over-levelling).
- Platform jumping games like Super Mario and Metroid. These train your hand-eye coordination skills as well as reflexes.
Of all these genres I most prefer RPGs because I enjoy a good story and problem solving. Most of these single player games don't have a score per-say. But I am able to complete the game to 100% and obtain a platinum trophy on many of them. This means I am persistent enough to completely solve the entire game as the game devs intended. So that counts for something I suppose.
Yup, being good at videogames and being able to make a living from them is actually a very new phenomena. But even then the average esports star doesn't make that much money, just like how the average sports star doesn't make a lot either and careers are short. My fencing instructor used to be a national fencer, but he works in healthcare full-time nowadays and only coaches part-time(it really doesn't pay a lot, I think the job is more his hobby than a job).
DeleteTo be honest, I never really used much math or physics when I was an engineer in Singapore, except that one problem that required quantum physics. But that was precisely why the other engineers couldn't solve the problem, they never had to use math and physics for all other problems so their knowledge and skills from university were very rusty. But this job still paid more than what a waiter in a restaurant or cashier in a supermarket made, and there were pathways to advancing in rank and making more money by becoming a manager. So people were still grateful for this job even if it wasn't that mentally challenging.
Yeah, I get that being your nephew is a way better outcome than being Jonas, despite both not having any real passions. Going to NUS to be an engineer is a much better option than not going to university at all and being in a working class job. I suppose my parents didn't pay as much attention to my sister because they thought me and my brother were very easy cases to parent, so why couldn't my sister be as easy. She basically went through the process of elimination like your nephew, but settled on biology since she wasn't good at maths or physics. Does she love biology? No, because she won't even use her degree, but she still works in healthcare though in a customer facing role. Actually I notice my sister's not bad with languages, she picked up Spanish recently all by herself on Duolingo and uses it with some older patients who can't speak English and whose translator kids can't always accompany them. Maybe she would've done okay in a sales role, but my dad refused to pay for any university major that wasn't STEM. Like you said business is a useless degree, though you have said the same about geography before. I don't think it's the degree per se, because one could also have a useless engineering degree if they aren't a very good engineer, at least in America. It's all about how you market yourself and the degree. I work as an A.I engineer but I came from physics and robotics, and nobody cares as long as I show them I can code and do math. There are CS majors struggling to find a software job while I have one without a CS degree.
@Choaniki - hand-eye coordination skills are not highly valued in the working world, it makes me think about very poorly paid production line workers in a factory in China who have to do the same simple task over and over again, thousands of times a day and that requires hand-eye coordination to become very efficient but that is more a form of physical dexterity that doesn't lead to higher pay. And no matter how good you are at those other computer games, can you actually monetize that skill? No, you can't - very few gamers esports stars can reach the level where they can actually make a living from it.
Delete@Amanda - this reminds me of an exercise I did years ago with a reader in Singapore. His son is terrible at school and I just went through a process of elimination to find out what the boy liked to do, what (few) skills he had and finally narrowed it down to one particular career - I then went through the training/qualification process for him to show him what path that boy can take to actually have a decent career in an area which he is interested in. It wasn't a well paid professional job (ie. the job was that of a football coach at amateur level, similar to that of a PE teacher but operating outside the school system) but at least it was something that was in a field that his son was interested in. He was so grateful for me showing him that his son actually had a career path to follow because before that, he couldn't get out of the Singaporean mindset of "my son must go to university, we don't have a plan B". I used the process of elimination to find that plan B for him since plan A was clearly out of the question for that boy. Compared to boy's situation, my nephew's outcome has already exceeded my expectations by a long way, I'm happy enough with the outcome now.
I have taken sports classes from people who aren't super motivated and are just happy to find something they can bear with that they are somewhat good at. There is a need for people like that, just like how we need schoolteachers, plumbers, carpenters, admin staff, HR staff, etc. There are plenty of middle class jobs where there is some degree of skill required without needing someone to be extremely brilliant and creative. It's better to be a skilled middle class worker than being in an unskilled working class job for sure.
Delete@Amanda, I know LIFT's thoughts on this, but I am curious to hear your's. Do you think skills are nature or nuture? As in do you think some people are beyond training or do you think everyone can be good at something with enough training?
Delete@LIFT hand-eye coordination would be required for some highly paid and skilled machinery work. I'm pretty sure fighter jet and aeroplane pilots also need a certain degree of hand-eye coordination. But I might be wrong since i have no experience flying planes.
Delete@Choaniki - I beg to differ, you're thinking too much about the computer games experience where the outcome of your game depends on your hand-eye coordination skills whereas in real life, a lot of the pilot's job is actually done by the auto-pilot. Why? It is the same reason why people in finance are not allowed to do maths at all - human error. Thus automation in the form of auto-pilot takes over, the pilots follow a strict series of procedures which are mostly safety checks and follow a set routine for take off and landing, but automation does run a lot of the functions in a standard flight. You may be watching too many movies like Top Gun when it comes to fight jet pilots because in reality, you cannot count of a pilot noticing the enemy sneaking up behind them and responding like in a computer game - no, lives and millions of dollars of military equipment are at stake here, you leave that to automation. So the radar picks up on it and there's an automated response and yes whilst there's still some skill involved on the part of the pilot, the real hero are the engineers who have designed the automation that eliminates (or at least greatly reduces) the possibility for human error. As for machinery work - again, same argument: automation is a part of our everyday life. It's only in low-skilled work for low-value product like food production in China that you still use human labour as it is cheaper to hire some migrant workers from the countryside to work in the factory producing cakes (high volume - low value product) than to invest in automation to take over every aspect of that process. Long live AI and automation, this is 2023.
DeleteHi Choaniki, I have had to teach new researchers or my employees certain skills related to coding, maths, or A.I. There is an element of talent to it, but as Isaac Newton said "if I have gotten anywhere in my career, it's because I have stood on the shoulders of giants." You can be very talented, but you shouldn't waste time reinventing the wheel, and instead learn existing solutions from experts, then use your own talents and creativity to build new solutions on top of them. It's the untalented people who can only remember existing solutions and implement them, but not innovate new ones. But there are still many talented people who don't get a lot of time investment in training and fall behind others who do(e.g Dylan being trained by Alex).
DeleteOkay I give you the pilot and precision machinery one. But I've finally thought of one industry that is very highly paid and needs good hand-eye coordination as well as reflexes. F1 and MotoGP racers! This post was inspired by the recent F1 race last weekend in Singapore. Granted most professional racers would never hit F1 tier nor would they win a race, but those who do are basically set for life!
DeleteYeah Alex, there's much more money to be made designing a robot to manufacture textiles very quickly or programming software for a plane to react to external disturbances than to be the human with the reflexes and dexterity to carry out both tasks manually. But the thing about pilots is that they do have to study a lot of physics, in particular dynamics and fluid dynamics, to get the most out of their plane. I came from robotics and even had a job interview at the beginning of the year with a defense contractor who was looking to hire an engineer to program some of the flight control systems in US fighter planes. Although an F1 driver does have to practice a lot on the track, they also have to have a good understanding of engineering because during a race some parts can fail in the car, and the driver has to work with the engineer to change their driving style to accommodate that. Lewis Hamilton, the British F1 driver, actually mentioned this in an interview with WIRED UK. He said he is just a "very good sensor" that can communicate problems with the car to the engineers, and they work together to find a solution. In fact, an F1 car streams 1 GB of telemetry data per second to the engineering team during a race, and all that data gets crunched by machine learning algorithms to optimize the car's performance and fix problems. The F1 team bosses even like to say "I lead a team of 1000 people, the driver is just 1 team member out of that 1000." People say F1 racing is more an engineering competition than a driving competition, because there's more rules about improvements that can be made to the car rather than rules about driving. Also, how well the car is engineered in terms of aerodynamics and engine design, in addition to team budgets, is a bigger determinant of a race win than how good the driver is.
Delete@Choaniki - the number of people who can rely on hand-eye coordination to make good money and earn a living that way are very, very low. Incidentally, I just stumbled upon a video of an amateur car race type event in America on social media - like those drivers are having fun but are they earning a living from it like F1 racers? Of course not. The number of people who actually make a living from it like Lewis Hamilton are a tiny proportion. That's why if you're talking about a skill that we should invest time & energy in with the hopes of leading to a well paid job, this is really a case of barking up the wrong tree. In short, if you want a great future career, you're better off studying engineering and AI than to spend all that time playing computer games.
DeleteThe way I see it, computer games are a leisure activity that you can choose to pursue if it brings you joy, but please don't pretend for a moment that you're going to develop any kind of useful transferable skills. You're not going to become the next F1 racing champion because you spent ages playing computer games - no, you need to actually be training as a race car driver, behind the wheel of a car, instead of still at your computer. And unless you're going to go down the route of becoming an eSports gaming pro, playing computer games is pretty much a waste of time. It's like potato crisps, sure there's some nutritional content in there but it's essentially junk food that should be cut out of your diet. Eating it once in a while as a treat isn't going to poison you or kill you, but let's not pretend that it should have any part of a well-balanced diet.
DeleteSorry typo: "it should BE any part of a well-balanced diet".
DeleteI am not going to pretend that playing video games are a viable career training path. Even if your nephew git gud with his video games so what? The chances available for Singaporean pro-gamers are few to none, unlike in S.Korea.
DeleteBut actual video games (Gran Turismo and MS Flight Simulator) are actually used by actual professionals for training in race track and flight path familiarisation. So video games do have their place. But you have to be a professional before you use it to train not the other way round.
Oh sorry typo, I meant 1TB of telemetry data per second is streamed to the engineering team during a race. This could be anything from engine temperatures to aerodynamic sensors and accelerometer data in the car.
DeleteEven in sports there are a lot of tactics and physics involved. Mechanics aren't everything. I mean by all means play videogames for fun, but how you translate that to marketable skills has more to do with how to create new better games than how to play well at them.
There's nothing wrong with doing leisure activities for fun - it's when they consume your life and that's when we have a problem. Dylan has a younger brother obsessed with computer games and that's all he does all day, play computer games instead of looking for a job or pursuing further education. His parents struggled with it - his dad says, "kick him out, make him starve and make him learn his lesson the hard way" whilst his mom is like, "no that's too harsh, we have to help him." They both acknowledge that their son has an addiction that is destroying his life but they don't know how to deal with it. This is why I am very harsh on my nephew when it comes to computer games.
DeleteOh I have a friend in his 50s who told me his son is in his early 20s and refuses to go to university and settles for a working class job in FnB. The dad said to his son recently that he can either go to university and continue living at home rent free, or keep working in retail but have to start paying his dad rent. The son's response was to take off and flee to the other side of America (the dad lives on the East Coast). I mean, to be fair, going to university is not the only option in life, in fact most people don't even get a degree or need one for their job to support themselves, like your reader's son Alex. But I get why Dylan's parents are hesitant to kick Dylan's brother out, because they have no idea whether he will even come back and speak to them again, even though he's failing to "leave the nest" due to their bad parenting. I do think that with Dylan's parents and my friend, who attended an Ivy league for a PhD, they don't want to bring up other options like tradeschool or an apprenticeship to be a plumber or electrician. There's an element of snobbery to it where they look down on blue-collar work or "comfortably middle class" roles and only want their kids to be in high prestige creative jobs that require degrees - or else. But they fail to realize a lot of mental preparation needs to be done to create self-motivated kids who can finish a degree in the first place, and use it effectively. My dad has this problem too, and my sister suffered a lot as a result.
DeleteWell I never went to university and both my Diplomas were self funded or paid for by my employers. I wish I had good parents who wanted to fund my education. Instead I had a dead beat dad who is doing freelance delivery work in his 70s so that he could earn money to cover living expenses.
DeleteHi Amanda, I think there's probably more that meets the eye in your story of your friend and his son - they clearly don't get along and his son moving to the West Coast is a way to rebel and reject his parents. It's very similar to what I did to get away from my parents and the underlying factor is that I just don't get along with my parents and they make little/no effort to get along with me. It takes two hands to clap whereas a lot of parents take the POV of "I raised you therefore you have to do what I say, no arguments, no discussion, do as you're told."
DeleteOh and Choaniki, degrees are so overrated in 2023.
Delete@LIFT, I know that now. But tell that to the SME boomer bosses and all the antiquated HR departments.
DeleteBut I also know now that even if I do get the job based on arbitrary degree requirements I wouldn't be happy at the company and would leave shortly after.
Hmm come to think of it Alex, my friend previously went no contact with his daughter last year when she got into a lot of trouble as a teenager. I dunno what he did to parent, I still remember when the kids were preteens several years ago and they seemed like a loving family. But I do know my friend has faced a lot of career trouble lately(and got divorced), he has "fallen from grace" despite going to an ivy league school, and we lost touch during that period. His career troubles are so bad I don't even think he has anything saved for retirement or even owns his own house. His kids, if they do go to university, will have to take out huge loans to do so because he's barely afloat himself. I dunno the answer, but you're right, the kids don't feel their dad loves them because of something he did or said. And if kids don't feel loved, they're not gonna listen, period. Jonas has the same issue with his mom who also tells him to go to university or she'll kick him out.
DeleteThe thing is though, as a kid regardless of whether you feel loved by your parents, you still have to love yourself enough to be motivated to do anything. Like Alex you worked very hard to go to UCL on a full scholarship and break into finance, but you did it for you, not to make your parents proud/happy. But as a parent, bringing out that self-love and self-motivation is very hard and I think you succeeded in spite of your parents instead of because of them.
Hi Amanda, if I may make a simple point about kids from troubled families - when you are a child or a young teenager, no matter how messed up your domestic situation is, no matter how horribly abusive your parents are, you somehow try to make the best of a bad situation because as a 10 year old, you're not going to be able to run away to another city and start a new life. You're stuck there whether you like it or not, you don't have a choice. It is only when these abused kids become adults then they look back and realize, wait a minute, that was all so wrong, I had no choice back then but now as an adult, I do have a choice and I choose to stop being in this nasty, abusive relationship with my parents so I can focus on loving myself. I suspect there's an element of that when you looked back at that family when the kids were just pre-teens, the kids were too young to do anything about it at the age of 12 so they just ignored the problems and focused on the better things in life. That's exactly what I did, I shoved my relationship with my parents into a blind spot whilst focusing on my gymnastics and studies. But yeah, the moment I was old enough, I was outta there, I had to get the hell away from my parents. As for me finding success as an adult instead of because of my parents, you have to look at the wider picture: I introduced so many more characters into my life so that it's not just me and my relationship with my parents. I had relationships with so many other people who were a positive influence on me - look, it was obvious I had a terrible toxic, poisonous relationship with my parents. If I allowed that poison to kill me, then I'd be dead a long time ago. Instead, I alienated my parents and got to know nicer, better people, people who cared about me and had the social skills to deal with me and help me. That's the bigger picture for me today and my parents are just a tiny part of a much bigger, more complex picture.
DeleteHmm, I didn't think about how kids can't just leave. I was also a seemingly happy go lucky kid at 12 who had no idea how much my parents messed up. I think my friend's kids are finally reckoning with all the ways he fell short as a parent, even if they're dealing with it in ways that aren't doing much favors for themselves. And you're right, the only solution for someone who doesn't come from a happy family is to get to know other people who aren't toxic. People have a need for love and affection, and they don't have to be blood related to give and receive that from each other. In fact people can be blood related but hate each other's guts. I suppose my friend's kids, in the case of the daughter, fell into the wrong crowd(she was into drugs at one point). I do think of various people I've met who did inspire me and weren't awful to me. Some kids require discipline from other people not related to them because they grew up in an overly lax household, while others get too much discipline at home and could benefit from relaxed people who make everything seem optional. I'm definitely in the latter camp.
DeleteBut well, my friend doesn't feel particularly remorseful or even entertaining the thought that he could've done something wrong. He seems to be blaming his kids for how they turned out, saying they're taking revenge for the divorce by being fuckups. Uh, not very helpful... But then again he doesn't seem to take responsibility for how his career has panned out either. I don't want to judge someone for not being successful, but self reflection is an important part of succeeding and also being a good person.
It all depends on what you want in life. For people who wants to work as an employees, getting a degree is important.
ReplyDeleteBut for people who are into entrepreneurship. A degree means nothing. Instead it is the soft skull that are important such as social media marketing skill. Some just get the related certificates to upgrades their knowledge.
Some people just pay for personal development course such as Tony Robbins course or Grant Cardone course where they just learn the entrepreneur skills.
There's a common adage which I think @LIFT can agree with: "those who can do; those who cant teach."
DeleteWhich means those people who teach certification courses usually are the best in their industry. So why bother learning from them? Which also means that if you can do something really well you do it and show it as proof, you don't need a certificate for it. This, however, doesn't apply to driving licenses and licensed professions (MD, lawyers, etc).
And I have 2 Diplomas which I feel are a waste of time and money, take it from me.
Typo: are = aren't
DeleteHello, please allow me to summarize the three key flaws with Kelvin Tan's logic.
DeleteFirstly, Choaniki has a great point - those teaching such courses are making a living from teaching; if they were that fucking brilliant, well why aren't they making more money in the world of business then? Did you genuinely think that they turned their backs on the chance to make millions and chose to teach instead out of pure goodwill? Choaniki has pointed out the obvious, it's because they aren't good enough to thrive in the business world, so they have turned to teaching as a last resort when they have run out of options. People like Tony Robbins and Grant Cardone have devised courses with mass appeal design to give you a good experience but can they really give a clueless idiot the skills to become a millionaire CEO business owner? Hell no.
2. My second point is that doing a simple course like that is far from enough to help someone into the world of business - you need a mentor, but in reality, this often takes the place of a senior figure (like a parent, uncle/auntie, older sibiling etc) who knows you well and will function as your career coach. This mentor will understand what you're good at, what you suck at and then tell you what you can do based on your abilities and talent. This is the kind of special service that money cannot buy - it usually comes in the form of nepotism. A course by someone like Tony Robbins has this 'one size fits all' approach which is the complete opposite of what anyone needs to get ahead in the business world. We can't profess to be good at everything and we certainly can't pretend for a second to be able to learn everything - that's why a mentor is so vital to give us that kind of one on one coaching (just ask Choaniki). Is Tony Robbins going to speak to you a few times a week to check on you? Hell no, of course not.
3. Anyone can try to learn anything but how many people actually become good at it? I train at one of London's best gymnastics club, we recently put two girls on the junior national team - a major achievement. Now how flawed would the logic be if you said, "Camden gymnastics club just put two girls on the national junior team, if I trained there or if I sent my daughter/sister to train there, I can make the national team too and go to the Olympics?" No, you can come here and train with the great coaches, take advantage of the good equipment but still suck at gymnastics because you fundamentally lack the talent to be good at gymnastics in the first place. So even if we find you a mentor who can give you the best training in the business world, if you're fundamentally an idiot, you still cannot polish a turd - that's impossible.
My conclusion is that entrepreneurs are born, not made. Some of us are born wit the talent and brains to succeed, others are destined to turn off their brains and do as they're told by the boss. Which path you take is destined at birth and there's little you can do to change that.
I struggle to draw a line in the sand about entrepreneurs. Some are forced by the environment to become one. True, an idiot could come out with hairbrained ideas like loansharking or trading low value physical goods (i had to misfortune to associate with such an idiot). But as long as he is making money it technically counts as being an entrepreneur. But only truly talented people could come up with ideas that turn into a unicorn company. I don't know if there are born or nutured, I'd tend to say both.
DeleteIt takes so many different factors to all come together in order for an entrepreneur to be successful - you need a good idea, you need to be at the right place at the right time to be the supplier when there is a demand and then you need to be able to execute your plan in order to reap the rewards. Hence I've seen people with really good ideas but simply didn't have the luck or opportunity to execute them. For example, we take it for granted that we all use smart phones with touch screens now, that's the norm but before Apple brought out the iPhone, some companies in the UK were already experimenting with that technology and had working prototypes - but again, poorly executed sales and marketing plans meant that they never took the market by storm and it left Apple to finally step in and change the way we use our phones via the touchscreen. So in this case, even if the technology was way ahead of the curve, the execution when it came to the sales & marketing failed and it left a competitor to step in and fill that gap in the market. Thus what you've described there - an idiot stumbling upon a mediocre or even bad idea and somehow making money, I have to point out that it is highly unlikely. You don't just stumble into success the same way you spot a shooting star in the night sky. Luck can only get you that far, you then need a few other other ingredients: hard work + connections + brains. I'd say these success stories involve people who are born - you cannot polish a turd, I've seen too many cases of family businesses whereby the father established a successful business, he wants his son to inherit it. But sonny boy is a fucking idiot who is a rich spoilt brat - so even with the best nurturing from dad, the son takes over and then ruins the business in a short space of time. You can't teach an idiot to be clever, you can't fix low IQ. No amount of nurturing can perform that kind of miracle.
DeleteI can take a clever student of high IQ to learn a lot of useful stuff but if you want me to cure stupidity and raise the IQ of an idiot, then no teacher or mentor in the world can perform that kind of magic. There is simply no cure for stupidity, you can't change a person's IQ.
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