In a recent post, I did write a rather scathing attack on one aspect of Asian culture which I found quite hard to reconcile myself with and today, I'd like to address the other side of the equation - I didn't want to give you the impression that the grass on the other side of the fence is greener. We simply have different kinds of problems and just to recap, in that previous post I said that in Asian cultures, relationships are often based on duty rather than love; I used the example of my own family where my parents treat my sister very badly but she still respects them and takes care of them out of a sense of duty in the absence of any kind of love. That might sound quite wrong but allow me to talk about what happens in the West instead; there is one aspect of life in the West which I have found really distasteful but it is often swept under the carpet. I have talked about this in a post already but I think it is necessary to look at the context and why it is less likely to happen in Asian societies. So over the years, I have seen a lot of married men in the West neglect their children, this is what happens: they get married because that's what everyone does when it gets to a certain age, they have children then realize, shit it's no fun being a parent, it's an insane amount of hard work and children are not conditioned to say, "how's your day at work dad?" No, children are usually selfish little shits who only talk about themselves, they are completely self-indulgent and no amount of love can change that aspect of parenting. So what do these fathers do? Many go out and get drunk - it's called going to the pub here in the UK, it's a form of socializing involving way too much alcohol. Some would go further and take drugs, visit prostitutes and do a lot of things in the name of simply 'having fun'.
Now in my father's case, he had married a woman he didn't really love that much but they both had a common goal of having a family in order to perform their duty to society. When he finally had three children, my father started resenting us because now that he has finally done his duty, he was expecting some kind of reward but there was none - just a lot of bloody hard work to take care of three children. My father then became withdrawn and spent less and less time with me, to the point where he took zero interest in what I did and had no idea what the hell I got up to. Whilst that situation was dismal, at least he wasn't out drinking, taking drugs, having loads of sex with random prostitutes in the name of having fun, no - his sense of duty prevented him from doing that. So I suppose everything is relative: my father spent evenings slumped on the sofa, his eyes glazed over as he would just watch hours of TV instead of spending time with his children. He wasn't out getting drunk, he was at home but he wasn't performing his duty as a father either - it was the lesser of two evils. It does make me wonder, why do straight men bother to get married and start a family when they have clearly no interest in becoming fathers? I find it hard to believe that they weren't aware of the amount of hard work and sacrifices it would entail, from changing nappies to spending time helping your children with their homework to paying for them to go to university. But if you think that reading your daughter a new bedtime story is the most rewarding and enjoyable experience in the world, then yes parenting is for you. If not, then why bother - then if you stay single, you can be a bachelor and go party every night if that's what you prefer but you shouldn't be a parent and behave as if you're single.
Pardon me for pointing out the obvious but you need a strong sense of duty and responsibility if you want to be a parent as your young children are completely dependent on you. This is why this Asian sense of duty could be more conducive to creating a better environment for families raising young children if it will stop fathers from going out and getting very drunk but I am still struggling to figure out why so many people in the West bother having children when they are clearly willing and able to prioritize their own happiness over this sense of duty. So let me give you a case study, we'll call this guy Henry (not his real name) and his story is pretty usual for older men I've come across in the banking community. Henry is on his second marriage - he has two children from his first marriage and three from his second marriage, given that he has fathered five children, you'd imagine that he likes being a father but oh no, he usually spends a lot of time after work at the pub, getting very drunk and then going home only after his children have gone to bed. He might see them at the weekends but otherwise, they are simply told, "daddy is working very hard, that's why you hardly see him." Once Henry gets drunk, he indulges in drugs and prostitutes. Not that I'm a prude when it comes to his personal conduct, but I do wonder why he bothers with marriage and children if he seems to do everything he can to get away from his family and have fun without them? Yes Henry has a stressful job and he probably isn't in the mood to read bedtime stories to his kids when he gets home but if that is the case, then why the heck did Henry father so many children then?
Thus it's not like the grass on this side of the fence is greener - I have encountered so many problems growing up in Singapore when it came to dealing with this very problematic aspect of Asian culture but there are simply a different set of problems in the West. Whilst I didn't have a happy childhood, I can't imagine Henry's children having a particularly great childhood either if that's the kind of father he is. I roll my eyes and think, you're like a big kid Henry, you just want to go out, get drunk and party as if you're still 18 years old - it's a free world, you can do what you want. But why have children and then ignore them, neglect them, even resent them? It doesn't seem rational. Allow me to share with you a more normal decision making process: recently, I acquired an air fryer and I did a cost benefit analysis. How often would I use it? How much does it cost? Is it really that much more efficient then what I already have in my kitchen? Would it be quite easy to clean? How long would such an appliance last me? Would it break after a few months or would it last for years? Should I get a small one or should I get a bigger one? Even for a kitchen appliance like an air fryer, I asked so many questions, did quite a lot of research online before finally going out and buying one. I don't think my decision making process was that unusual, yes it took a while but that's simply because I want to make sure that I made the right decision. Thus in Henry's case, if he had actually asked himself a few vital questions about whether he wanted children or not and what fatherhood meant to him, then the rational answer would be, "hell no, you don't want children. You don't want to become a father- you'll be a terrible parent. No, you wanna stay single, party every night and have loads of fun!"
Thus my conclusion is that this lack of a sense of duty is why people like Henry choose to become parents despite the fact that it is a completely irrational and wrong decision. Let's go back to the air fryer example - someone who is impulsive might rush out to by an air fryer after having watched a video on Youtube or a post on Instagram about great air fryers are. Such is the nature of social media these days, there is a lot of advertising trying to get us to spend money on certain products and it is a formula that does work - that's why many companies gladly pay celebrities and social media influencers to endorse their products. However, the worst case scenario with an air fryer is that you spend a lot of money buying a really nice one only to let it collect dust in the kitchen - you don't use it, you forgot you ever bought it and eventually you give it away to a friend. You can't do the same with children though, you can't just ignore the child and then eventually give it up for adoption when you realize that you're not really into this whole parenting thing. I'm not claiming that all Asians have this innate sense of duty that prevents them from making impulsive and irrational decisions but this sense of duty features more prominently in our culture. I remember talking to a French friend Jean about how much hard work it was to plan my epic trip across South America, he said it was 'boring' to plan like that. He would simply turn up in Argentina or Chile without a plan, without a single reservation and go with the flow, speak the locals and be spontaneous - he claimed that's how the best adventures are created when you have no idea what crazy thing you're going to do next. I rolled my eyes and thought, you and I are never going on holiday together if that's the way you travel.
It's not like Jean was just waxing lyrical - he's told me about his adventures in places all over the world where he would turn up, get chatting to some other backpackers at the airport whilst waiting to clear passport control. The next thing you know, he's on a bus with them on their way to a beach he has never heard of before and he will party all night with them on that amazing beach whilst getting to know his new found friends. I thought, "that sounds just like the movie 'The Beach' with Leonardo DiCaprio and we all know how that movie ended! I wouldn't book any accommodation without first reading all the reviews online to make sure that there are no nasty surprises. In fact on AirBNB, I would usually ask the hosts some questions before booking, just to make sure that I am getting exactly what I want and that way, I can ensure that I have the perfect holiday. It simply isn't in my nature to be spontaneous, in fact I plan all my trips meticulously just like the way I handle my projects at work. I don't think that Jean is especially lazy or chaotic, it's just that he likes surprises and I'm not like that: I take comfort in the fact that I know exactly what to expect on my holidays and that's fine. However, it didn't surprise me that Jean accidentally got his girlfriend pregnant and then her parents pressured them into getting married, thus putting an end to all of these spontaneous adventures in exotic locations. I suppose he was just way too spontaneous to put on a condom before impregnating his girlfriend and fumbling with the condom wrapper would have spoiled the mood. So do you think Jean is very irresponsible? Or is this just his character in embracing surprises?
But then again, if we approached parenting the same way we would purchase a kitchen appliance, then the human race would go extinct as nobody would ever have a baby. If you want to have a baby, well to begin with, you don't get to choose the gender of the baby even if you have a preference. Secondly, you don't get to decide whether the child will be intelligent, stupid, good at sports or disabled. The amount of variables and unknowns are staggering, yet somehow, parents still hope for the best with often little or no basis for that optimism. It's just like how Jean would accept an invitation from a bunch of strangers he has just met at an airport to go to a beach party - you have no idea what you're getting yourself into but you say yes in the hope that it will be a great experience. But imagine if you walked into a home appliance superstore and you're told, "you have to pay $100,000 for this new device but it's a complete mystery what you're getting. So it could be anything from our catalogue and you cannot choose. It may be the very best product we have or it could be a terrible one that we picked up from the dustbin, but unfortunately you cannot choose or trade it for another one, furthermore that device is yours forever and you have to make the most of it." Thus when presented with such a choice under such conditions, you'd probably say 'no thanks' and then walk right out of the store - if you are going to spend that much money, you'd like to know what you're getting, right? But if we all thought that way, then the logical conclusion would be that nobody should ever have children because of all the variables involved and not having any control over all those factors; hence we need people like my French friend Jean who will embrace the unknown with a sense of adventure willing to have babies, as he is far more comfortable with the concept of surprises and spontaneity.
Thus I don't think there's any perfect solution to this challenge about striking the right balance when it comes to this sense of duty in the context of parenthood. After all, in Jean's case, the pregnancy with his girlfriend was completely accidental, it wasn't planned. They weren't even thinking about getting married at that point but it just happened. But even if that was the case, he embraced fatherhood with the same kind of positive optimism that was a feature of all his social encounters. Contrast that with my parents who had children out of a sense of duty to do so, but did they actually like being parents? Hell no, for them, having children was like brushing your teeth - yeah it was something you did because you simply had to but not because you wanted to nor was it something you actually enjoyed. No, we brush our teeth out of a sense of duty, because we don't want to have rotten teeth that can cause us a lot of pain. But should having children be seen in the same light or should it be something optional, that one can choose to do if one enjoys the process? What do you think? Have you ever met anyone like Henry who has children but has little desire to be a father? Have you ever met anyone like my French friend Jean or are you a meticulous planner like me? Does the thought of having children scare you or do you embrace the many unknowns of parenthood with a big smile on your face? Do you want to have children out of a sense of duty or is it a personal desire to become a parent? Are parents allowed to still have some fun then? Please do let me know your thoughts by leaving a comment below and many thanks for reading.
Hey Alex, one thing people mis-understand about the West is that men still feel it's the woman's job to raise the children. So why do they have children? My guess is that it's a status symbol. It's easier to tell people you are a married father in order for people to think you are successful versus "rich single man" or "rich childless man with a childless girlfriend/wife." It's not that socially acceptable to be childless actually, even in the West. And it seems many men are just content to pay nannies to look after their children when they have so much money it barely makes a difference. I think it's more responsible to decide "no I don't want children" and deal with people calling you selfish in public than carelessly have children and not look after them, even if you have money. But your friend Jean sounds like a cool person. It's not that he's reckless, but that whatever new situation arises he tries to make the best of it. And it's true one can't control everything in life. Even the parents who vigorously plan out their future kid's life cannot anticipate if that kid will be born disabled or with a disease that means they will die young.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, I remember in undergrad I got into an argument with a prof who took issue with a guy who he thought I was dating only because that guy had a low GPA. After your last post, I just realized this Asian prof probably thinks love isn't the most important thing a guy offers in a relationship, but rather enough money to support a wife and children. And a guy with a low GPA is going to struggle to find a good job compared to a guy with a high GPA, especially in GPA obsessed Singapore. But this is presumptious because he didn't even ask if I even wanted children in the first place. And if I made enough money in finance, I don't mind supporting a husband who makes less but is doing something he loves (e.g acting, photography, etc.).
This notion that it is the woman's job to raise the kids is a sexist and old fashioned mode of thinking from another era - the thing though is that rich people tend to just pay someone to take care of the kids: nannies, baby sitters, maids etc. That's the case with Henry - he at least earns enough money to pay people to take care of his children, but it still doesn't make sense at all. I remember being at a sale once and seeing this shirt on sale; it was the big discount that got my attention but even then I thought, nah what's the point if I didn't like the shirt enough? The discount wasn't a good enough reason if I didn't like it in the first place. If that's the way I decide when I buy clothes, how does Henry justify having children?
DeleteAs for the status symbol, actually I think you're mistaken, that's not the case. Whilst I am the only non-Latino in my company, I'm not the only gay! There's one other gay man in the company and he's not as senior as me, I'm older and far more highly paid etc. So he confessed to me that Latin America is not as gay friendly as New York or London, so he is nervous about how the other colleagues will react to him being gay, as he's not married with kids despite being in his 30s. And I'm like, dude let me explain: nobody cares if you're gay or straight, black or white, male or female - we are capitalists, we only care about money and in this context, if you're going to be good at your job. If you're great at making money for the company then the boss is gonna love you. If you're terrible at your job, then having ten kids would not change that inconvenient fact and you'll be fired. Duh. At least that's the way it is in my business world - we're so pragmatic, it's all about money. Maybe you're talking about other social circles like family or church life. You want respect from your community, well the easiest way to achieve that is to be great at your job rather than be a terrible father. I thought that much was obvious.
You have a colleague who is not out yet? That's interesting. I thought banking would be more liberal in South America, but then again they are also extremely catholic in that part of the world, even more than Singapore, so it's probably harder to be out.
DeleteYeah I'm talking about social circles. Especially when you are in a community where all your friends are getting married and having kids, while you aren't. Also, some people just don't like going home to an empty house. Another thing is that some people really don't like the idea of getting old and still being looked down on as a childless party boy. That kind of person would be called a man-child who doesn't realize they're middle-aged. But if that person has a wife and kids then they aren't seen as a total "loser" for not having kids by 40. Remember, you are assuming that people expect to be "good parents" rather than just a "parent" when they make the decision to have kids. There is no police going to knock on Henry's door for neglecting his children as long as they are housed and fed after all. I know many rich kids who are messed up because they have a parent like Henry who has many mistresses/lovers and is never around the house. But these parents still expect their kid to unconditionally love them anyway. It's kinda like having a pet I suppose. Rich parents who don't want to be actual parents just treat having a wife and kids like having human pets. I mean if you look at the British royal family, they're all expected to get married and have kids despite hiring nannies to do most of the parenting.
Well I'm glad that places outside of the west are becoming more gay friendly, or at least at minimum non-violent towards lgbt people. Yup at the highest level capitalism rules, as it should be no?
DeleteWell Alex you're very liberal and progressive, but among straight people there is still this pressure to strive toward a nuclear family ideal. Sometimes I think this is why straight society is so threatened by gay people in the first place. It's not just loving the same gender, gay people also don't mind saying they are openly promiscuous and don't want to be monogamous and raise a family. Straight people are less inclined for that because unintended pregnancy affects us but not gay people (lucky you!). Like even if you're straight, you will be discriminated against for not having a family by your 40s because it's considered "different." Like you have said in previous posts, people of the same race, class, and sexual orientation can still find ways to hate each other for being different.
Back to that prof from undergrad, yeah he judges me for not having a successful supportive husband by my mid 20s. Because I'm straight, it is assumed the default is to marry and have kids, nevermind my career or just being happy in general with friendships and hobbies, etc. Not that he isn't supportive of my career. It's just that for many straight people they just dont understand when other people are hesitant to settle into a relationship or have kids. In the straight community we call this "white picket fence" syndrome. I know many straight people who settled for the first relationship they got because they just wanted a family but otherwise hate their spouse. For me even any relationship is hard to make a decision to commit to, I don't want to feel something for someone I can't trust. If it means I have to look harder and sift more, so be it. I never had a fantasy of a white picket fence anyway haha.
Let's put it this way: I'm being employed to do a job, I'm being paid my salary because my employers expect me to add value to what the company is doing and I can help the company make a lot more money. The basis of our relationship is a financial transaction: pay me to work for the company and in return, you will see your profits rise. It's a very simple relationship based on money. That's why I can tell my gay colleague: simple, just be good at your job and everyone will love you regardless of what you wanna do with other men in bed, nobody cares about that - they only care about your work performance. But if you're talking about other kinds of relationship like within a family, then it's not based on money per se, that's when things get a lot more complicated and you get to judge others based on other criteria. Thus it's often based on respect and that's when we all have our own criteria as to whom we respect and how that's earned, that becomes a lot more complicated as we may or may not know how much the other person earns as well. But I've just been chatting with one of my best friends and he certainly has my respect because he's been super nice to me when I was very stressed out - so it's not necessarily a check list of achievements before we respect someone; it can simply be how we earn the friendship of people around us.
DeleteYeah so I think back about social skills when I think of whether someone is confident about themselves or not. In your case you have correctly identified that all the company cares about is profits and nothing more, so there is no danger to be a gay man or even a trans-man in a polygamous relationship as long as you are the best employee the company could realistically hire. But many people don't have good social skills, or even confidence, that they feel the need to conform to be accepted when that isn't true. I think I've said this before about how some women feel looks are all that matters to attract a man just because that's what society tells them. But that's not exactly true, because how interesting/charming you are helps a tonne as well. Imagine being an awkward gay man and not getting along with co-workers. That person could easily then default to saying "oh it's because I'm gay people don't like me", when really it might be because he might not smile enough or ask people about things they like. In your case you are a confident charming gay man so you can make almost anyone like you except the hardcore gay-hating Christians, who you don't want to be friends with anyway. Sometimes the discrimination people feel is all in their head...
DeleteBy the way, didn't you say that you knew some people in banking who did OnlyFans? Now that takes a lot of chutzpah to tell your employer. But if all they care about is money and it's hard to replace an employee with one who doesn't do OnlyFans, then there's no danger of admitting it haha.
I knew two guys in Mexico who did Onlyfans who also worked in banking. But urgh, one of them committed suicide earlier this year and my friend in Mexico messaged me, "I hate to be the bearer of bad news but I didn't want you to accidentally stumble upon this on the internet and I'd rather just tell you." The community of rich gay Mexicans who work in finance is tiny and everyone knows everyone - I'm now plugged into that gay Latinos in finance network. But yes, it's all about being able to have social skills to build relationships with people and at least in business, it boils down to money. But for me, in gymnastics, it's more about talking to people and finding a way to establish mutual respect - at gymnastics, you gain respect by showing people how good you are at the sport rather than how much you earn but it's not just being the best, it's also about being the most helpful and I helped this guy the other day learn a new skill on the trampoline and now he's like, "I love training with Alex!" And I feel good as he now wants to train with me and views me as a friend. It's not rocket science.
DeleteOh my god, that is a scary piece of news to hear. I hope it wasn't related to any homophobia. Glad to hear you're basically an honorary gay Latino on account of speaking Spanish and working for a Peruvian company. Yeah people naturally like helpful and humble people, that's probably the basic tenet of good social skills. I also made some friends recently at a quantum computing talk because most of the audience were undergrads who are only starting to learn about quantum mechanics while I have a physics degree and years of research experience. They asked me for some homework and career advice, and invited me to dinner after the talk. I had to decline because I just got back from a 4 hour drive from a road trip, but they asked for my instagram so I'll probably see them again.
DeleteY'know Alex, growing up I always felt other people had better social skills than me because I was an outcast with very niche hobbies. Then I realized, no the average person does not have that good social skills, they are just lucky to have similar interests to other people, but as soon as you move them to a place with different people they will struggle. Having good social skills is about finding ways to be nice to people and find common ground even if you don't have things in common at face value. But many average people don't even realize that! I used to think people would find my hobbies repulsive, then I realized I just didn't market it well. And at the end of the day, almost anything can be marketed well if you explain it in terms that someone else can empathize with.
We have absolutely no idea. The thing is I think with Onlyfans, it's not just a means to make money, but it's a need for attention. It's a need to know you feel desired by others and that others like you that way. Whilst I'm as liberal as you can get when it comes to Onlyfans and adult entertainment, at the back of my mind, I always wonder why they do it if they already have a steady job that pays the bills. If you're poor and that's the best way to make money, then that's a simple narrative. But if you already have an office job in finance and you still wanna do porn, then that's somewhat unusual to say the least and begs the question why? If it's not for the money, then it must be for the fun, the thrill and of course the attention. I can get attention from people through gymnastics and that's always been my way of doing it from a young age. But I don't like the idea of using sex/porn to get attention as I suppose I am too scared of putting myself to be judged by others if I performed porn for money/attention online.
DeleteAs for social skills, I'm having to apply that in the business world everyday and that's my currency, social skills - that's what I do for a living, using my social skills to convince people that I'm a nice person they wanna trust and would like to work with. I think the average person gets away with poor social skills if everyone else has poor social skills but if you're placed in a situation where you need social skills, then suddenly there's a real incentive to develop your social skills if you can directly see how you're gonna benefit from it. It's like learning to swim: it's not the hardest skill but if you don't live near a pool, beach or lake, then there's nowhere to do it and you don't need the skill. But I visited Kampung Ayer (as the name suggests) a village on stilts in Bandar Seri Begawan in Brunei and all the little kids there knew how to swim so the parents don't need to worry if the kid fell into the water, then at least they knew how to swim a few meters to the nearest place to get out of the water.
Yeah I have watched interviews with porn stars who said when they got into it they didn't even realize they were going to get paid and just did it for fun. Some of them even said they have full time jobs and only do porn as a side hustle. It's kinda like how you do acting as a side hustle. Not really for the money, but because you like acting and get to be treated like a princess when you get the lead role and runners have to get you your favorite food, etc. I think acting is a less self-conscious way of getting attention haha. I'm not judging, I would take these acting jobs too if I wasn't bad at acting haha.
DeleteYou would think people would have a "sink or swim" mentality, but last week I had this acquaintance just lash out at me for correcting her about some scientific fact, accusing me of "competing" with her. Like, what are we competing for exactly? Then I realized some average people struggle to find friends or a boyfriend/girlfriend, and even if they do have one they might have just settled for the first person to come along because they aren't charming enough to have many options. This person says she's 33, hates her busy accounting job and wants to quit and be a housewife, but doesn't have a husband let alone boyfriend yet. So I suppose she thinks I'm competing with her for the guys in our social circle, and even told me to stay away from the doctor guys because that's her type. But many people don't realize why they're struggling and just assume other people are out to get them. Being insecure and aggressive is not pleasant, nobody wants to be around that. I can see why she's struggling to find a man, but that's putting the cart before the horse because this attitude makes it hard to be around literally anyone. As if the doctor boy is not gonna correct her every now and then haha. Anyway, the way to charm the doctor boy is to be humble, not try to be right all the time...
Oh please, I have to correct you with the 'bad at acting' comment as that's totally wrong - as an actor, you just have to follow instructions. Remember I told you how I was on set in Kiev last year when I wasn't even allowed to do something like follow instructions to 'raise your hand a bit and move it to the left', no someone had to run in and move my hand for me. I'm totally passive in that process because if I tried to make suggestions about how to do something, I would be seen as a difficult person to work with. No actors have to empty their minds and simply shut up and follow instructions - there's no such thing as 'bad at acting' if you're prepared to simply follow instructions. Perhaps if you're some Youtube trying to shoot your own scenes on a low budget short film, then fair enough, good luck to you writing, scripting, acting, self-directing and editing the whole thing but what I do involves totally emptying my mind, keeping my mouth shut and just doing what I am told as if I am 3 years old once again.
DeleteHey Alex, are you basically telling me that someone like Timothee Chalamet or Zendaya are just a puppet of the director? Maybe I'm thinking of the kind of acting in school plays where you don't have to listen much to the director because the director is a drama teacher who doesn't have time to think that finely about instructions. I suppose even if you have to follow instructions it still has to look entertaining. Sometimes I watch TV and wonder why an actress is shouting so much when nobody talks like that in real life, then I realize it's because it's dramatic, and TV is supposed to be larger than life and not be entirely realistic else people would watch real life instead of TV. So you could argue "acting awards" are more like "entertaining awards." Anyone can follow instructions, but it may not look entertaining when they do. I'm certainly not nearly as entertaining as a youtuber, Zendaya, or even yourself.
DeleteYeah I'm not gonna be friends with that girl anymore. Y'know, that reminds me, I was on that date with a mathematics graduate last week, and he asked me a math question which I knew nothing about so of course my first response is "that's very interesting, but I've never studied that so I don't know." Lol if I had responded like my friend, accusing him of making her look stupid, that guy would probably never ask for a 2nd date and unmatch immediately on the dating app haha. I get that little kids and even high schoolers get upset when their friends ask them a question they can't answer, but jesus this woman is in her 30s and works in a really expensive looking office building (I've been there, it has marble floors and a receptionist). Oh well, I guess accountants don't have to be charming and humble to make money, unlike scientists who have to give lots of talks to other scientists or the general public.
Totally. Having been on these huge budget productions before, the one theme is time pressure, ie. "we have 30 minutes to shoot this scene before we have to move onto the next one, the weather isn't looking too good outside, so we really want to get these scenes done ahead of schedule if it is going to rain later, so everyone please we must hurry! And that's not a polite request, that's an order." The fact is everyone involved will want to get their contribution to the scene perfect: the hair & make up lady will wanna make sure the leading lady's hair is looking just right, the costume mistress will be fussing the same over the leading lady's dress, the props manager will be fussing over some little detail and the lighting people will be wondering what effect would be achieved if they move this light two inches to the left and experimenting. That's just the crew - can you imagine if you left the cast to contribute their own ideas?! If you left everyone to their own devices, that's a recipe for disaster - you'll take 12 hours to shoot five minutes of footage of which you get 1 minute of usable content and you'll run over budget at that rate. I remember on one shoot, the costume lady wanted to change something after the director had shot one scene and first her request was declined diplomatically, "we have no time, it wouldn't matter." When she insisted, the reply was, "stop being difficult, do as you're told and fuck off. Which part of fuck off did you not understand? The fuck or the off?"
DeleteGiven how many moving parts there are in any big shoot: costume, make up, sound, lighting, hair, stunts, dancing, movement, props, camera angles, special effects, set design and of course, actors - the whole production needs to be run as a dictatorship. So one person - the director - makes the decisions and the orders have to be obeyed. If you dare to question the order you're given, the response is 'fuck off, this is not up for negitation do as you're fucking told or we'll sack you.' This applies even to biggest stars who have to stuff their egos aside and do as they're told and become 'a puppet of the director'. I was told of this story of this famous stylist who was roped in to help with some celebritites on a shoot and he was such a diva, he clashed with the director and the director said, "you're fired, fuck off." He was then replaced and that's exactly how it works - that's how it has to work when you have limited time to shoot your project.
There are two exceptions to this kind of dictatorship. The first is when a mega big star decides to direct himself/herself as s/he is sick and tired of being told what to do by a director, this big star then seeks funding from a production company knowing that their big name can draw in enough fans to wanna see the film. So actotrs who double up as directors include: Mel Gibson, Angelina Jolie, Kevin Costner, Marlon Brando, Jackie Chan, Woody Allen, Clint Eastwood and Charlie Chaplin. But of course you'll notice that these are really big names, you need to be super famous before you can convince a film studio to give you the budget to do a film like that. The other alternative is to shoestring it: there's a Miami based comedian on Youtube Jenny Lorenzo who does Spanglish comedy. It's super low-budget, she plays all the characters (so she plays the grandma arguing with her granddaughter, but you know is playing both characters - except that grandma is in the kitchen with a wig on yelling in Spanish, the granddaughter is sitting on the chair in the living room dressed like a teenager, but it's both her with a lot of clever editing). Yeah she's a one-person production team, she's the entire cast & crew. She has no budget, just some supporters on patreon who love her work and it's a bit hit and miss, some of her skits are super funny, others are not great. But certainly, Jenny Lorenzo doesn't have a director barking orders at her - unlike all the big names you have named, who know the art of shutting the hell up and following the instructions of the director just like a glove puppet. There's absolutely NOTHING difficult about acting as long as you are humble enough to accept that you're no more than a glove puppet.
DeleteOh so basically a youtuber is a writer, director, and actor all in one. So this is what someone like Stephen Spielberg does all day, just come up with the instructions on what actors have to do. I seriously thought it was the actors who read the script and came up with all their emotions and gestures and whatnot.
DeleteWow if it's just being a glove puppet then it must be really hard to distinguish yourself to make it, aside from being very good looking and being able to fulfill the director's vision as best as possible. I see why it's a job for all ages now, but I also get why they try to cast older actors for kid roles because kids are really really bad at following instructions.
Amanda, if a really big shot famous A-list actor tried to say to the director, "I think I would like to explore these ideas in this scene today", then at best, that would be tolerated given the actor an A-list celeb. For everyone else, if they dare to open their mouths, it would be "shut the fuck up and listen, you're a fucking nobody, you don't get to speak, nobody gives a fuck what you think, so do you need me to explain that to you again? Can you understand the term SHUT THE FUCK UP? Good. Now you can shut the fuck up." It sounds harsh but it really is like that, actors have to shut the fuck up, not open their mouths to voice any opinion at all and do as they are told like a fucking glove puppet. If you take part in a big professional production, then you go along knowing that the number one instruction is a) do as you're told b) shut the fuck up, nobody gives a fuck about your opinion so you're not allowed to voice your opinion. If an actor dared to "come up with all their own emotions, gestures and whatnot" they would be sacked on the spot, or at least be given a humiliating SHUT THE FUCK UP ASSHOLE scolding to be put in their place. If you can't be humble enough to follow the shut the fuck up protocol, then there's always the Youtuber alternative like Jenny Lorenzo, where you get to do everything yourself, in your own home, without anyone else but you're on a shoestring budget shooting a short 5 minute comedy skit for Youtube.
DeleteOkay, another question I have is, do people know this about the job going in? Because I didn't. Also, what are the numbers when it comes to people wanting to be a director or writer vs the number of people wanting to be an actor? To me, it seems like being the director is a more fun job than being an actor. I guess as an actor you get to inhabit a role and be on camera, but being behind the camera you get to define what the actors do and how the scene looks.
DeleteTo be fair, I have made the film set sound like some kind of harsh North Korean dictator regime where everyone must bow down to the supreme leader (the director) and obey his commands. That's just the way the corprorate world is - this isn't some high school project where everyone gets a say and the teacher will encourage the quiet kid to voice his/her opinion. No, in the corporate world, you follow orders, you do as you're told - even for someone as senior as me, I have to get approval for my ideas even though I am hired to offer my ideas. So yes, I'm one of those very privileged ones who are allowed to speak out and offer my brilliant original ideas. So let me summarize this situation that happened this week, I'm in charge of project ES and I made some changes to the strategy. Immediately, I get a phone call from my colleague who asked me, "has the boss approved this changes that you made? He's not in the office now but I don't want to get you into trouble if you made these changes without getting permission to do so first." And I was like, yeah relax I have spoken to him about it. And she was like okay, just making sure, but next time always seek permission and if necessary, double check with the boss before implementing any changes. There is a chain of command, I am paid by my boss to do my work, he is above me, I have to get his permission to make changes - there's nothing democratic about the process at all, quite the opposite but this is the corporate world and nobody questions the fact that I need to get my boss to approve the latest changes I have made. So why should it be any different in the creative world of making TV programmes and films - this is not some high school project to let some kids express themselves creatively, no these are commercial business projects to make money, a lot of it. So that's why any kind of creative input will be shut down with a hammer fist and actors are meant to behave like obedient workers who have to seek their permission to even go for a toilet break. Zero input, no creativity will be tolerated, they do as they're told like soldiers.
DeleteOnce you reconcile yourself with the fact that TV and film productions are commercial operations with the purpose of making money like any other business, then you will see why this kind of dictatorship approach to keeping everyone in their place, in their lane, in order to work extremely efficiently is a necessary evil. Actors simply accept therefore that they're there to play a part and do as they are told - they don't take offence when nobody wants to hear what they think they ought to do or inteprete the scene etc. I actually stumbled upon a funny Youtube skit the other day by one of these one-man-bands who poked fun at actors who try too hard to offer their inputs and it ended with the director sacking him and then playing the part himself. Here you go: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v6GTguTiOJQ It does summarize how directors just want actors to shut the fuck up and do as they are fucking told.
DeleteOh okay, thanks for the insight into showbiz. Yeah I guess even though movies are "creative", they're run like a tight ship with neat little cogs at the high end just like any corporation. Recently I heard Lee Jung Jae, the main actor in Squid Game, is making his directorial debut soon. Given he just won an emmy for best actor, many studios wouldn't mind capitalizing on that since people will be hungry to see his movies.
DeleteBtw regarding what you said about being a strong independent woman who can do whatever she wants, and how getting there requires a lot of opportunities... Today I went to a weiqi meetup and met a couple. They both grew up working class, since they complained endlessly about the public school system in America. But while the man worked in something IT related, the woman worked as a preschool teacher and said she used to work at a grocery store, which was very precarious because US labor laws allow for zero hours contracts. I also watched a documentary about bitcoin this morning, and thought "maybe I should study the technology behind blockchain in case it could ever be useful to me." Anyway, it makes me think, as a woman who grew up upper class I have had not only a lot of investment in my education, but have also been encouraged to aim for the highest things available in life. Not just by my parents, but also cousins, family friends, teachers, university professors, etc. A working class man definitely has less investment/encouragement than me, but a working class woman has even less. They are not expected to amount to much career wise besides being a teacher or a social worker, such that being a wife and mother to a higher earning man is considered more successful finance wise. When I was watching the bitcoin documentary almost all the early adopters were white men, ranging from middle class to upper class, or some upper class white woman who lives in a big mansion in Silicon Valley. No seriously, the men they interviewed lived in their parents' basements, while the women they interviewed lived in beautiful beach houses.
DeleteWhy is it that in America people tell men of all classes that they can work any job they want, but tell working class women the best they can hope for is to be a lowly paid teacher or at most the wife of a rich man? It's kinda messed up. Oh btw, I found out last week that the quantum computing course I'm taking at my university is actually open to anybody in my city, whether or not they are a student at my school, simply because it's a new course offering and they need a few guinea pigs haha. And this free course has employees from IBM coming in and teaching how to program their quantum computers. I dunno if I should just walk into a high school and hand out flyers to the girls. But that's assuming they can secure transport, and working class people may not be able too. It's even conveniently a night class. But when I look amongst the people who've already signed up, there's 10 people, and aside from me maybe 1-2 other girls, all of us students at the university. Like, even when there are free resources, it seems it's not promoted to working class people or women very highly, and transport accessibility is an issue.
Another thing I forgot to add, I feel like parents expect more from their working class daughters if they are immigrants. I know of one woman who grew up working class who did achieve social mobility, my brother's best friends's girlfriend who immigrated from a poor South American country to America when she was a toddler. She's a software engineer at my brother's company (same role) making a high salary, but she recently said she went to a majority Hispanic high school in a low income neighborhood in Texas where the teachers didn't even care if the students went to university or not. But of course, her parents said they didn't move to America for a better life only to see her not move up in social class. That's the kind of challenge a working class woman has to deal with. Contrast to the preschool teacher I just met, who is a white woman whose family have been in America for generations. I feel like immigrants in general, no matter what class, are more optimistic for their kids. But even in modern day Singapore(not your mom's Singapore) girls are expected to study hard and aim for good jobs like your sisters. So you could argue in keeping with the theme of this post, that the Asian mindset of duty over love does result in good career motivation for working class kids of both genders.
DeleteHi Amanda, if I may just respond to one point that really got me rolling my eyes so hard - it was what that woman said about blockchain. The problem with that attitude is that she is always going to be two steps behind everyone else - if you don't know anything about crypto currencies or blockchain, then it's not for you. Go focus on what you're interested in, what you are passionate about. That's just like the same way my mother noticed a new bubble tea shop near her house and she remarked, wow bubble tea is so popular, you can make a lot of money selling bubble tea and I'm like, WTF? Bubble tea has been big for a good 15 years and you wanna get on the bandwagon 15 years too late? Likewise, Bitcoin has been around since 2009, it got popular the same time as bubble tea and your friend wants to get on the bandwagon 13 years too late. I just roll my eyes when I see poor working class people like that because I don't even know where to start to try to help them. I just think, yup - that's precisely, exactly why you're so poor. What's the point about studying the technology behind an invention that is over 13 years old when the only way you're ever going to become rich is to study the technology behind what's going to be the hottest new idea of 2024. But if she is working as a pre-school teacher, I bet she can't count beyond ten and is for want of a better word, painfully STUPID. Stupid is as stupid does.
DeleteUmm, I think you misread my point, I meant I myself could read up about Blockchain any moment, but I just haven't because it's not really relevant to my field. But I have more opportunities to capitalize on learning new things in tech compared to someone who isn't in it. I'm picking up quantum computing right now because I think that will be the next big thing. Dunno how quantum blockchains would work, but I do know a prof who works in "anonymous quantum computing", where you can use a quantum computer but it cant spy on what you are doing. Anyway, I see your point, it is very hard for a working class person to jump on a bandwagon when they simply don't get much news about what is new in the first place, and only receive it through scammers. But I disagree that a working class person can't get into a new field by studying it on their own. Sure they're not going to be rich doing it, like a crypto millionaire getting in on the ground floor, but maybe they can make a middle class job like the people going to coding boot camps.
DeleteAaaah I reread it. It was you making that comment, not that woman. Wait a minute, are you telling me you don't know how blockchain works? I'm no crypto expert, not at all, but I thought everyone kinda knew how it worked a bit like how we all know how earthquakes happen without being some kind of geologist expert.
DeleteYeah I get the general gist of a blockchain being a way to verify transactions by everyone, because it's like the difference between only a single bank knowing transaction history versus everyone knowing it. But of course I don't know enough technical details that I can code one tomorrow. But the thing about bitcoin is that I'm not sure if anyone is legitimately making money from it as a service as opposed to it as a speculative asset.
DeleteBut regarding your point about the latest and greatest in 2024. We have a saying in the sciences, "you don't get rich by inventing, you get rich by improving." Although the founder of blockchain/bitcoin is anonymous and we have no idea how much money they made from bitcoin, the technology is still based on 400+ years of mathematical theory contributed for free by pure and applied mathematicians in academia, some of whom died before bitcoin even was invented. Getting rich from something involves being at the right place at the right time to implement an idea based on science built up over centuries. However, it requires learning that science in the first place, but only the person who implements the final product really profits and not the person who contributed the initial theory. The Nobel Prize winners of the transistor got rich, because they went on to found the semiconductor companies in Silicon Valley. But they were in their 40s when that happened and it took two decades of research, not to mention the development of quantum mechanics theory 4 decades prior by scientists who died before the transistor was even made.
Anyway, my point is, a working class person is not usually allowed to participate in learning basic theory and developing new technologies. It's changing with the internet, but you usually only see men being encouraged to do it, and not really women. I don't want to judge other women for their career choices, but I just don't understand why a girl from a poor family could make the decision to go to NYU for a bachelors in psychology or a masters in public health or education, and picks up $100k in student debt for a job that only pays $36k/year in an expensive city like New York. That's an extreme example I took from the internet. Like it makes me wonder, are there no career counselors in high school saying "maybe you should pick up computational biology and invent new drugs? Or physics to work on quantum computers for IBM/google?" I get that nobody is saying that to the working class boys either, and they probably just learned about coding and blockchain by watching a movie about hackers and getting interested. But like, we can at least try right? In my case, I never had a choice not to go into science or engineering, my parents said they would only pay for university if I picked a STEM major. It's because they think university is only worth it for a technical major, and if I wanted to be a business major then I can just be like "young Dave" skipping university and starting work for one of my Dad's friends. In either case, they wanted me to have the most lucrative career possible, and didn't trust me to know which one that was.
Anyway, I'm gonna look for non-profits who work with girls/minorities in high school, and see if I can advertise the free quantum computing course through them. A lot of logistics has to be arranged though, transport, wifi, access to a laptop, etc.
Look, I'm no expert when it comes to Crypto either - I probably know as much or only a little bit more than you, but that doesn't matter. We both have a nice shiny new mobile phone (mine's an iPhone) and whilst I don't know how to build one, like if I removed the case and tried to look at the electronic components, I wouldn't know where to begin. But I know how to use it, I know what it can do for me and that's good enough for me to benefit from owning an iPhone. By the same token, unless you wanna build the next big Crypto currency that's going to be so much better than all those other existing ones, then perhaps you're better off learning how to invest in Crypto and benefiting from trading in Crypto. I did an ad for a Cyrpto trading platform this year OKX and whilst waiting for the ad to come out, I would go on Youtube and there are so many people talking about trading Crypto on OKX, it is a massive topic with a huge following. So clearly, some people are making money from using platforms like OKX to buy & sell Crypto - they're just like people like me using iPhones rather than trying to learn how to build one from scratch.
DeleteAh so, the thing about crypto is that the underlying tech is not only useful as a currency, but for other things. An easy example is how fast it is at overseas money transfers compared to using the Swift network, which tediously verifies the money counting using old-school methods, while Crypto has employed more complex mathematics to speed this up. Imagine if we used this for government documents like car or housing ownership registration, that would cut a lot of waiting/processing time whilst keeping security at a maximum(no fakes). Basically my point is, there are good jobs in tech for building on the system that bitcoin created, not just as an investment but real products which add new value to the world. But I feel working class people, and especially women, are locked out of these opportunities unless they come from a family with lots of tech workers, but then they wouldn't be working class in the first place. But of course one could go the business route which is what you're doing. You don't know how crypto works, but you understand how people can use it to benefit themselves. We can't just have a country of only tech workers, business/product/marketing people are also necessary.
DeleteBy the way, I'm just curious, how has Brexit changed immigration to the UK? I've mentioned privately a recruiter from London contacted me recently, and I'm just baffled because I'm in the US and assume Brexit has made it a lot harder to import workers. You mentioned there is an NHS worker shortage too, but I doubt there is a shortage of British people in London who want to work in finance. Has it been easier for UK citizens to find jobs as a result? In the US I heard after Trump was elected a lot of American citizens found it easier to find jobs in tech, because Trump made it harder to hire Chinese or Indians for those roles.
Exactly, the analogy I used during one of my training sessions is that I can get a flight from London to New York as a passenger, I don't need a pilot's license to get on that flight, I'm simply using the service that the airline provides and I can still benefit from the fact that the plane can get me to New York in just approximately 7 hrs 40 minutes. I'm on the business side of things, I make money by facilitating investments in technology projects and I take a cut of the transaction as the middleman, I don't even need to understand the technical detail of how it works as I'm not a scientist.
DeleteAs for the UK situation, Brexit is but a political gesture to satisfy those who voted for Brexit. The government can still do what the hell it likes and wants when it comes to immigration and issuing work permits. This government is pro-business so if a business says, "I need staff to fill these roles and I can't find the staff locally, I need you to issue work permits," then the government will gladly do it as it is good for business and more to the point, the average working class voter will have absolutely no idea how many work permits have been issued. I think I know how to get hold of those figures though it's a complex process via a freedom of information request and really only investigative journalists do that. Most stupid Brexit voters are given the (wrong) impression that the borders have closed after Brexit when in fact, they're as open as ever, if not even more so than before Brexit. You've made a mistake: Brexit has NOT made it harder to import workers, in fact nothing has changed. The government has always been very clear about gladly issuing work permits to highly talented, highly skilled migrants like you to come and work here in the UK because you're going to contribute a lot. The kind of immigration that Brexit voters were scared of happened when poor people could move to the UK from places like Bulgaria, Romania and Latvia and work crazy long hours in the supermarkets, factories and other very low-paid jobs; the problem was that the poorest of the working class were the ones doing these jobs and now they faced foreign competition.
But even on that front, nothing has changed: take the farms for example, we regularly depended on migrant labour to harvest the fruit and veg in the harvest season and so instead of letting millions of dollars worth of food just rot in the fields, the government couldn't issue work permits fast enough to get these Eastern Europeans back over to do those jobs because the alternative would have been a nightmare: letting the harvest rot because there was no one to pick the fruit/veg would send food prices through the roof and it's the poorest working class who will be hit the hardest; they're the ones who will blame the government when they see their grocery bills triple and guess what? These working class idiots are too fucking stupid to check how many work permits the government has issued. So you still need a work permit to work here, but Amanda you're so highly educated and skilled, they'll roll out the red carpet for you to come to the UK.
Actually sometimes I feel like the middlemen make more money than the actual scientists haha. Like the people who figured out how to turn blockchain technology into an NFT. That's seriously no technical work whatsoever, just taking an existing picture and making it crypto.
DeleteSo you're telling me, Brexit has done exactly nothing for immigration, but has just created the misery of more friction to trade between the UK and EU? Like, at least in America when people vote for Trump he actually does cut down on immigration. My understanding of your post is that the UK is a country very addicted to not only foreign goods but also foreign labor. It would be disastrous if they suddenly kicked out every single migrant worker, very similar to Singapore actually. Jeezus and the UK people still had the balls to vote for Brexit, if it really doesn't change much despite create a temporary hole in the economy. Lol so kicking out all the Eastern Europeans didn't help much, go figure. Like you said the streets of London aren't paved with Gold, these Eastern Europeans could only stay if they worked for their keep since they aren't entitled to benefits.
Lol I'm flattered, but now I realize the UK probably wants to issue work visas to highly paid quants because then I'm on the hook for much higher taxes without being entitled to any benefits aside from the NHS. Oh I checked the work visa rules, and apparently UK's new points system means my (future) PhD in a STEM subject is worth a possible 20 points out of a minimum 70 I need to get the visa. The other 50 points, which are mandatory for any work visa approval, are just "job offer", "speaks English", and "job is appropriate for education level", which means I automatically meet 70 points. Jeezus, the US is not that kind with respect to skilled work visa applications, the average Brexit voter has no idea just how liberal these laws are.
I don't think I really want to move to London though, because I just moved to America 2 years ago. I'm kinda at a cross-roads in my life, where I wonder if I want to marry a guy in a couple years and settle down somewhere in the US. Or if I should take the opportunity to be a quant in London for a couple years and travel around Europe in my spare time. I see how you were able to travel so much in your 20s and 30s, no kids and a high salary in banking makes it very convenient. Was your husband also the travel-heavy type? I wonder how you brought him along while working in other countries.
Btw, the irony is not lost on me about how I recently complained I was scared the looming recession means I wouldn't be able to find a job, and then a finance recruiter from London contacts me on LinkedIn. Jeezus, that means that even as working class people in the UK are suffering under a recession and a cost of living crisis, rich bankers are doing just fine and even hiring more people.
DeleteCorrect, poor working class peopel wanted Brexit to save their jobs, to prevent hard working Eastern European workers to come and compete for the limited number of working class jobs there are in the UK. But in reality, the government has the greater responsibility of keeping the lights on in the country: ie. they have to do whatever it takes to make sure the economy functions and doesn't collapse. That's why they're giving out work permits to the workers who will continue to come and do these jobs whilst knowing that the average Brexit voter is too fucking stupid to verify just how many work permits have been issued. Politicians have manipulated stupid voters to get into office by making promises they have absolutely no intention of keeping and that's true whether you're in the UK (where they voted for Brexit) or the US (where they voted for Trump). Did any of the pro-Trump voters become better off as a result of his term in office? Hell no, of course not, but they're too stupid to realize.
DeleteWe are wise enough to realize that there's a huge difference between a) telling voters what they wanna hear to get them to vote you into office and then promptly breaking every single one of those promises once you're in office and b) giving the voters a genuine say, a voice in the process. You seem to have assumed that beause we're a democracy, it is b) but LOL, we're so fucking corrupt as a country, it is a) all the way. The rich get richer and the poor get poorer and that's the way it is in the UK.
As for my husband, yes he has lived and worked in several countries.
Lol so you're saying the only difference between pre and post Brexit is just a little bit of extra red tape the Eastern Europeans have to jump over? Go figure. This reminds me of Singapore at a time when they had lower than expected results in a 2010s general election that they revoked a lot of PRs to satisfy the public worried about foreigners taking their jobs. But in reality, the only PRs they revoked were of rich people who didn't even live and work in Singapore and just wanted to keep the PR for fun in case they want to vacation in Singapore 6 months out of the year. I know because my friend and her family were one of many of those PR holders. Like that has no effect on the economy whatsoever except reducing some tourist dollars. By the way I googled how many work permits the UK grants per year, it's 250,000, and it's good for 5 years. Also as of 2020 the UK government removed the cap on skilled work visas, so they can grant as many as they want if companies ask for more which meets the points system they put in place. In contrast the US only grants a capped 85,000 work visas a year, only good for 3 years, and congress has to approve a new cap every year but has no political interest in raising it. I also talked to the recruiter who messaged me, and she said the company will handle all work visa sponsorship, even for a short 10-week summer internship. I'm so sad I'll have to turn them down because my boss will never say yes. They were also going to provide housing which is great because the job is on-site in central London, where rents would be very high on such a short lease.
DeleteWith regards to Trump, his main promise to his voters was to bring back jobs that were shipped overseas. The US doesn't see a lot of legal migration, so most of the lost jobs were off-shored rather than taken by immigrants. Trump did manage to start a trade war with China using Tariffs, but it had a similar effect to Brexit with some American producers losing Chinese customers and vice versa. Honestly banning immigrants isn't really the answer to helping the poor. Investing in public school education and university is, but that's a lot harder than just kicking out a bunch of people.
Okay then haha, moral of the story, there is no country that wants to keep out immigrants if it will severely damage the economy in the short term. Politicians can be stupid but not that stupid to cause a cost of living crisis. A lot of the anti-immigrant talk is just window-dressing and "feel good" rhetoric. Which reminds me, there is far right sentiment in Western Europe but nobody is advocating to cut down on high skilled work visas, or even low skilled visas for seasonal work like farm harvesting. Instead they only talk about kicking out refugees or banning the burqa which has very little effect on the economy but somehow has a bigger emotional effect on voters.
The fact is there are two parallel job markets. There's the working class job market where people earn peanuts and struggle to make ends meet, then there's the professional job market where people like you and I find gainful employment. Even if I left my job tomorrow, I would find another job in finance, I would be picking strawberries in a farm or delivering food for Uber Eats. The professional job market has always been open and the UK government knows how important it is to attract the best brains in a service based economy and as for the working class job market, the government can readily pump out work permits which are valid for 6 months, 1 year - whatever they wanna write on that piece of paper to ensure that the employers get the staff they need so the companies can continue production. No government will go around starving these companies of workers: it will be slaying the goose the lays the golden eggs. If you deliberately starve these companies of the cheap workers they need to keep on producing, then they will die en masse and the economy will simply collapse. Nobody wants to see that. No government will allow such a catastrophe to happen on their watch, so what the government will do is this: they will send some mininister or spokesperson to go do an interview with a newspaper that working class people read and make some statements about protecting the hardworking British people who are so important blah blah blah and we will keep out foreigners etc etc - then they will quietly issue millions of work permits to Eastern Europeans. The level of dishonesty is unreal but it happens all the time. The fact that they can get away with it is no longer making me roll my eyes. It's like a husband who comes home everyday after work via the brothel, claming to his wife, "sorry dear I had to work late today, I love you."
DeleteSorry typo: "I would NOT be picking strawberries in a farm".
DeleteHoly cow these are the Brexit voters and politicians you have to live with? And I thought Trump voters and Republicans were bad. The UK government sounds like "the wife guy" who likes to say on Instagram "I love my wife so much, she's the best thing in my life" but secretly cheats on her and is never home. I googled the actual numbers of immigrants, and it's 5.5 million people, or 20% of the working population in the UK. Yeah the economy is incredibly unequal but dependent on immigrants all the same. On one hand you have finance firms flying in foreign students for 10 week quant jobs and putting them up in a nice apartment in central London and paying them 5 figures a month, with a possibility of a full time job offer at the end of the program. And on the other hand you have a berry picking farm busing in migrants and putting them up in a dormitory in the middle of nowhere to get paid peanuts, with no guarantee of permanent work or settling in the UK. And the UK gov will gladly issue work visas for both. I get why they don't want to reserve the berry picking or food delivery jobs for locals, because it pays so little. But I also get why they don't want to reserve the highly paid quant or sales jobs for British born only, it's because it will compromise the quality of services if they give out jobs based on passports alone, and the UK really doesn't want to lose their status of "best financial center in the world." Losing that status and reputation would be bad for the high end of the economy, but the average Brexit voter wouldn't understand that and has many barriers to working in finance. So I get why they let companies try to import US bankers, considering the salary they offered was about the same as New York anyway it's not to undercut locals. Also the salary minimum for skilled work visas is extremely liberal in the UK, like for STEM PhD holders it's 20k pounds, while for non PhD holders it's 25k pounds. Considering the pound is on par with the US dollar, that's less than what someone at McDonald's makes. So any company can hire pretty much any white collar worker for an average salary. I have not included the fees for applying for the visa, which range from 2k pounds to 10k pounds, but for finance companies which pay well into the 5 figures a month and make even more money from the worker, they could easily pay that.
DeleteYes, now you get it. It's the equivalent of the guy who publicly tells his wife and her friends how much he loves her and how wonderful she is when really, he is a regular customer at the local brothel. That's the level of hypocrisy but I just roll my eyes at it all.
DeleteOh it is now 1 GBP = US$1.10, it used to be around 1 GBP = US$1.50
DeleteNot just visiting brothels, but keeping long term mistresses too haha. Yeah, the pound has really fallen. I may be going to a conference in London in May 2023 so I hope it stays that way so my US dollars will stretch further.
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