Florida notes part 2: following the rules in America

Hi guys. I just got back from Florida and I'm exhausted - these overnight flights from America are not fun. One thing that has struck me on this trip is the contrast between two aspects of Americans I have come across here. The first is the fact that most Americans I have come across are genuinely polite and friendly. It is not just a matter of getting much better customer service here in America (they do work hard for their tips) but people will just talk to you when they realize you're a tourist and they genuinely want you to have a good time, so you will have a good impression of Florida. They realize that you are going to go home in a few days and your friends and family are going to ask you, "so how was your trip to Florida?" They want that answer to be a rather favourable one, rather than a very negative one.

Another one armed handstand on Jacksonville beach

A lot of what we see about America on the media can be really negative - everything from police brutality against black people to crazy Trump supporters spouting xenophobic rhetoric to gun violence with tragic consequences. If you haven't been to America before, you could quite easily get the impression that America is really quite a scary, dangerous place to visit. But that is just one side of America, by and large on this holiday, I have seen plenty of affluent Americans leading very nice lifestyles here in Florida. There's plenty of money here and even relatively average folks get to live in nice houses as there is just so much land here. I have seen a few beggars and homeless people in the big cities like Miami, Orlando and Jacksonville but they are relatively rare compared to London. And the beggars are especially polite, they would begin with, "I'm so sorry to bother you but could you help me please?" And even if you refuse to give them anything, they would respond with, "I'm sorry to have bothered you, have a nice day." Perhaps it works, it will make you feel so guilty you will eventually turn around and give them a few coins. Everyone just comes across as genuinely nice here, but there were two incidents that made me realize there is an aspect of the American psyche that I don't quite understand: this obsession with law and order.

The first incident happened in Cocoa Beach near the Kennedy Space Centre - we had returned very late from KSC after a networking event organized by NASA. Most places were shut and we wanted food. I noticed that just across the street from where we were staying there was a Long John Silvers with the lights still on, literally like 50 meters or so just down the road. So I walked up to the Long John Silvers and noticed that the restaurant was closed but the drive-thru was still open. I thought, great, let's have some Long John Silvers so I walked towards the car lane of the drive-thru and this employee frantically came running up to me and screamed, "Sir! Stop! You can't go there, please understand. That drive-thru is for cars only. Do you have a car?" And I said, "yeah but it is parked at the hotel and I am right here. I don't want to walk back to the hotel, drive back here just to buy food when I am already here." Seems logical, right? And okay, perhaps there was a part of me that thought, you're just a worker at a fast food restaurant, don't challenge me, I'm higher up the food chain than you. I was firm but polite, but she replied, "no sir, you can't do that, not in America. That's our rules. Please step away from the lane now or I shall have to call security." I stopped for a moment in disbelief - what have I done? All I want is some fried fish and fries (and maybe a coleslaw too) and out of nowhere this security guard with a gun appears - like he didn't point the gun at me, but he stood in a way to make sure that I realized that he was armed. I didn't want to be the foreign tourist who gets shot for breaking the rules of American fast food, so immediately, I said sorry and walked away from Long John Silvers. And no, I didn't go back with my car - I went to a Waffle House instead which was still opened. I told my very polite and friendly waiter there what had happened and he just gave me a knowing smile and said, "yup, those are the rules man, we follow the rules here in America. You don't wanna get into trouble for breaking the rules. We may speak the same language but things are different here compared to back in England where y'all come from, so please just be careful here, you know?"

I was in Kennedy Space Centre for a NASA event.

The second incident happened in Jacksonville - one of my colleagues had to catch a flight from Orlando airport to New York yesterday morning and so she said, "just drop me off at the bus station at Jacksonville and I'll get a bus to Orlando airport, you don't need to drive me all the way to Orlando, it is way too far." So we looked up the bus timetables and identified the right bus she could take - but when we turned up at the bus station, it turns out that the company only operated an internet-booking only policy and the bus driver wouldn't sell you a ticket even if we did have the cash. My colleague was frantic and a kind American noticed what was happening and came up to us, "don't worry, I have the bus company's app on my phone, we can just go online now and we'll buy a ticket for you now, you can just pay me in cash." But the app refused to let us buy a ticket because the bus was due to leave in 20 minutes and you could only buy tickets online up to 30 minutes before departure, so we had missed that deadline by about 10 minutes or so. We begged the bus driver, is there an office we can call to buy a ticket? He said, "yes but they are not opened yet." At this point, the bus was nearly empty - he had plenty of seats on board but he refused to let me colleague on without a ticket. We tried to reason with him, the journey from Jacksonville to Orlando takes two and a half hours - by the time we are halfway through the journey, my colleague could call up and then pay for the ticket through the phone whilst on the bus. He said, "even if we did that, the call centre cannot process sales for a ticket on a journey that has already commenced. I'm sorry but there's no way we can let your friend on the bus today."

The irony was that everyone was very polite whilst refusing to sell us a ticket for a seat on a bus that was nearly empty - common sense would have dictated that there was no good reason to deny my colleague a seat on that bus especially since she was more than willing to pay for it. But because of their desire to follow the rules, my friend could not get on that bus and we ended up driving her 2.5 hours to Orlando airport very early in the morning (and 2.5 hours back), leaving us exhausted for the rest of the day, unable to do much with the rest of the day apart from getting a bucket of Popeye's chicken and eating it on Jacksonville beach. On that day, we experienced frustration, disbelief, anger, rage and finally just accepted that America is simply like that. I am still baffled that their desire to 'follow the rules' outweighed any desire to help my friend - the Americans we have encountered on this trip were all so friendly, yet their willingness to help her suddenly was just not there yesterday morning (well, apart from the kind lady who tried to help us book a ticket with her phone). Never mind breaking the rules, they wouldn't even bend them a little bit.

In some societies, people are more willing to bend the rules.

Ironically, a lot of Florida reminds me so much of Singapore - last night I ended up in a Japanese restaurant called 'Sushi House' where all the staff spoke Mandarin. The relentless tropical heat and humidity along with seeing all the American fast food outlets reminded me so much of Singapore but most of all, this overwhelming desire to 'follow the rules' at all cost is so incredibly similar to Singapore as well. You know, I first visited America in 1985 with my family and I remember back then, how my parents were struck by everything that was different about America from Singapore. But in 2016, I see far more similarities than differences. Perhaps it is because I have consumed so much American culture through the media over the years that America has become really quite familiar - but perhaps it is because many of us lead such Americaized lifestyles that we have subconsciously become really quite Americanized without even realizing it, whether we like it or not.

One thing that did strike me about both Americans and Singaporeans is this belief that their country is great because of the rules that govern their societies - hence this deep respect for law and order to the point where it becomes a bit ludicrous. The incident at the Jacksonville bus station just goes to remind me just how this apparent friendliness of the Americans is completely dependent on you complying and following their rules. This is probably why so many of the incidents relating to police brutality relates to this difficult relationship that some Americans have with authority - some minorities feel like the system is biased against them, yet they are in a country with such a deep reverence for authority, with such a desire to follow the rules at all cost. Dig deeper and you will begin to understand just how complex this difficult relationship between the authorities and ordinary Americans can be. In such a complex society, it is perhaps too much to expect every citizen to understand what every rule in the law means - so you can't even expect a policeman to explain rule R03062 about parking violations when you get a parking ticket. You're just expected to respect the law and abide by it without questioning it and that is the kind of contract Americans have with authority.

Americans believe that following the rules keep their society safe and orderly.

I suppose there was an element of culture shock as well to see a culture so extremely law-abiding. When I was in Santo Domingo on my previous leg of the trip, we wanted to take a private bus (aka a 'guagua') to the airport and they were the only way to get to the airport by public transport if you were not willing to pay US$40 for a taxi (yes it is that ridiculously expensive, it is just the way the taxi drivers make money in the Dominican Republic). Our AirBNB host warned us that the price is 'flexible' - ie. the driver will take a look at you and decide what you have to pay based on how 'rich' you look. She took one look at my partner and said, "you're white, that's about 140 pesos (US$3). But you're Chinese, you may get away with paying about 70 (US$1.50) or so. Feel free to try to bargain if you want to practice your Spanish but it is not going to make much of a difference." Sure enough, she was spot on with the price - I paid the same price as the locals as I look Chinese and thus was not considered a rich gringo. I don't know whether to be happy or feel insulted, but I gladly paid 70 pesos. There was a white Canadian guy who was totally fluent in Spanish - he refused to pay 140 pesos and argued all the way to the airport with the driver. In the end, He paid 115 (US$2.50) pesos after much bargaining and arguing (in Spanish, of course). I could have argued on behalf of my partner but I was afraid of being charged more for arguing, so we just settled for having paid 210 pesos for two, that's 105 pesos each (US$2.25) and that's still cheaper than what the argumentative, feisty, Spanish-speaking Canadian guy paid! Hence going from a country like the Dominican Republic to the USA, the difference couldn't have been more stark. Both situations in Jacksonville (when the driver plain refused to sell my friend a ticket) and Santo Domingo (when my partner was charged double for being white) were frustrating of course, but in such different ways. I guess I just take it all with a pinch of salt and say, "that's why we travel, to experience difference cultures in different parts of the world."

Well that's it from me on this issue. I have so many more stories from America to share, so look out for my next installment of Florida Notes. Let me know what you think about this issue about America's bizarre obsession with law and order - is it just an American/Singaporean thing? Do leave a comment below please. Many thanks for reading.

St Augustine beach, Florida