The dodgy wedding photos debacle

Hello everyone. When my British friends are talking about a story coming out of Singapore on social media, you know it has well and truly gone viral. Yes I am talking about the bad wedding photos of Jaclyn Ying and Kelvin Tang and if you still haven't seen the photos, then have a look at this link here for the best of them. I literally burst out laughing. It is a combination of the comically bad photos and the really questionable choice of filters that made me laugh out loud. Much has been said about these photos already, but please allow me to share a few of my thoughts on the episode.

1. Quality, not quantity, please. 

The photographer Chung Siew Goh took over 800 photographs of the couple's big day - so why did he send so many over? Surely out of 800 photographs, there were some which were better than others and some which were simply dreadful. Where was the quality control? You can't expect all 800 photos to be of similar quality. If the photographer didn't sort out the good photos from the bad ones, then surely at least the bridal shop responsible for the wedding package could have done some sorting instead of just presenting the entire lot of 800+ photos to the couple. Even on my recent trip to Belgium, I took well over 300 photos on my phone - did I simply post all 300 photos onto Facebook? No, even I did some element of filtering, choosing to upload the betters ones. My friends have neither the time nor patience to see all 300 photos and secondly, I'm not sure I want my friends to see the unflattering photos of me on holiday. For a wedding, you would rather have a small number of really good photos, then 800 mediocre ones.

2. Learn to laugh at yourself. It is funny. 

We live in the age of the selfie, where we get to take photos and videos of anyone on our phones at anytime. Some of those photos and videos are absolutely hilarious. Recently, there was a NSFW vine that has well and truly gone viral: it is of a man who has a wardrobe malfunction whilst dancing to Rihanna's Work - as it is NSFW, I am not including a link to it but you can google it if you're really curious. Yeah, that's the world we live in - when something has a certain slapstick quality, it gets shared on social media and spreads like wildfire. Now when the world chooses to laugh at something funny that has happened to us, we have two options - you can either cry and get really upset, or you can see the humour in the situation and learn to laugh at yourself. Thus when Ms Ying told the ST that she cried a lot at those photos, I thought, are you going to cry every time something goes wrong in your life? Is that your first reaction? Well, quite frankly, that's wrong - you're just making life a lot more miserable for yourself if that's your attitude. Don't be your own worst enemy.  If you're going to go public with those dodgy photos, then be prepared to laugh at yourself.

I always laugh at funny photos of myself.

I know I have shared this story before but allow me to share it again as it is so apt. When I was 16, there was a photo taken for the school's year book of all the sports teams. We were all decked out in our competition uniform and looking very smart for the photo. For some reason, I decided I would look better if I flexed my muscles for the photo. The expression captured on my face in that photo was priceless, my cheeks were puffed up, my eyes were bulging and I can only describe the expression on my face like I was shitting a brick. Yeah, that bad. When I saw that photo in my year book, I knew everyone was going to laugh at me. So instead, I chose to laugh at myself: I ran around the school with the year book, pointing out that photo to my friends, "did you see how hilarious I look in that photo? How funny is that?" In choosing to laugh at how ridiculous I looked in the photo, nobody could make me feel bad or make fun of me in that photo because I was already doing that myself. Learning to laugh at yourself is an important tool because you develop a thick skin that allows you to deflect a lot of the crap that life will throw at you.

3. This couple are ordinary looking at best. (And I'm already being very generous here.)

Do I have to be the bad guy who has to state the obvious? I am wondering why ordinary people who are not particularly good looking have totally unrealistic expectations about being transformed into some kind of supermodels in their wedding photos. Even if you were to put a rather plain looking woman in the world's most exquisite wedding dress in a bridal shoot, most people would look at the photos and say, "wow what an amazing dress", rather than "that woman is so beautiful." If you were to look at the photos, it would be fair to say that Ms Ying and Mr Tang are plain looking or ordinary looking at best. In fact Ms Ying looks pretty good in most of those photos (even the most hilarious ones), but as for Mr Tang, well - you could claim the photos were unflattering or blame the stylist for the day, but he looked more like a close North Korean relative of Kim Jong Un in those photos rather than a South Korean K-pop superstar. You could blame the stylist or the photographer, but didn't he even bother checking himself in the mirror once during the photo shoot on his big day? Like seriously? Even I check myself in the mirror a few times an hour during an average day at work. I take it that he's probably not vain, but at least make an effort for your wedding day?

Who should they blame for the bad photos?

4. Weather and logistics problems - hello?

Why did this couple agree to running around the Botanic Gardens dressed like that? Did they think that they were in London or Paris? Oh I am in London and the weather right now is 14 degrees and it is a lovely spring day. What did you think was going to happen when you run around the Botanic Gardens dressed like that, when the temperature soars above 30 degrees? You sweat. You sweat a lot. The "I'm drenched in sweat because I am overdressed for his humid tropical heat" look is hardly flattering and no amount of make up can fix that. The only way to fix that is for you to retreat to a cooler place (like an air-conditioned room) to stop sweating, as sweat does mess up your make up.  From the wedding photos, it looks like the actual ceremony took place in a gazebo outdoors, during daytime. Oh dear. Even if you did hire a really good photographer, then you will still need to deal with the sweat problem. The wet-with-sweat forehead/cheeks look is hardly flattering.

Look, if you really wanted to take photos in your wedding outfits, then at least do it in a studio which has really good air-conditioning or fly to a country where the temperature is cool enough for you to walk around a lovely park without breaking out into a sweat. Don't get me wrong, I do adore the Botanic Gardens in Singapore, it is beautiful. I was there last year as I spent quite some time in Gleneagles Hospital for my eye surgery. It is an absolutely gorgeous park - but even walking around it dressed in just my shorts and T-shirt, I would break out into a sweat given how hot and humid the weather is in Singapore. Any kind of physical activity - even just walking - is enough to provoke sweating in such conditions: so imagine how much one would sweat when ridiculously overdressed in say, one's wedding outfits.

Sweating is not a good look for wedding photos.

5. Is it all about her? Or is Mr Tang upset as well? 

I am left somewhat puzzled at the couple's reaction. Whilst it is clear that some of the photos are terrible, Mr Tang definitely comes out looking a lot worse than Ms Ying. The awkward photo of him crouching in the grass with a sheepish look on his face - I couldn't stop laughing. He looked like some weird stalker, an uninvited guest spying on the wedding of his ex. I note that it was Ms Ying who orchestrated posting on Facebook and only she spoke to the journalist from the ST - we have yet to receive a quote from Mr Tang in this entire episode. That's ironic as he looked far worse than her in those photos and has far more cause to complain - yet she was the one who got the most upset about it. This begs the questions: is it all about her? Is Mr Tang just 'being nice about it' by not complaining about how terrible he looks in those photos? Is he as upset as she is? Is it just 'her big day' or is it their big day?

Here's the thing I can't help but notice: despite some unflattering photos, Ms Ying still looks pretty attractive in most of the photos. Her wedding gown is stunning, a lot of effort has been put into her hair and make up and I can see the attention paid to details like her jewelry and accessories. Mr Tang however, oh dear, where do I even begin? It is his wedding day, yet he is dressed in a plain black suit with a plain grey tie? Like seriously, I put more effort into dressing for work in the office on an average Monday. I get it, it is Singapore, the weather is bloody hot, Singaporean men don't usually wear suits unless it is for a wedding or appearing it court before a judge. Thus when they try to make some effort to dress up formally (in spite of the humid tropical weather), the results are either somewhat disappointing or downright odd. Did Ms Ying even take a look at her husband and said, "honey, did you forget? We're getting married today - you're not going to a funeral, why are you dressed like a pallbearer? Can't you see I've made quite an effort? 

To be fair, this isn't a uniquely Singaporean problem. In the last six months, three of my friends got married - all three are European and I saw the same situation emerge. Their brides both looked absolutely stunning whilst the grooms looked like they couldn't be bothered. Like seriously, two of them simply wore a shirt and tie to his wedding, whilst the other wore what looked like a cheap. old suit from the 1990s. I had a major face palm moment, I wanted to say, if you had told me you didn't have anything to wear, you could have borrowed something from me. If my fine clothes don't fit you, then at least we could have gone shopping together and I could have bought you a decent looking suit as a wedding gift. I wonder what their wives thought of the situation: their wedding photos looked odd at best - it looked more like a stunningly beautiful bride with a guest at the wedding who is at best, a distant relative or a colleague who couldn't be asked to make much of an effort to dress up for the occasion. So yes, even here in Europe where we do have much cooler weather, the same problem can occur.

I suppose that it has got far more to do with your typical man's attitude to grooming and fashion than the weather in Singapore. But it still begs the questions: are these brides oblivious to their husbands' refusal to make an effort? Did these bridges make any effort to ask their husbands to make more of an effort to dress nicely? Are these brides quite happy to let their husbands look shabby, as long as nobody else looks like the star of their show? Heck, I have even known of one bride who refused to have a particularly good looking friend be part of her bridesmaid entourage because she was paranoid about everyone noticing just how good looking her friend was. Indeed, some women are so extremely obsessed with being the superstar of the day when it comes to their wedding - I find that quite disturbing really as the wedding day should really be about celebrating the marriage and not just either one of the two parties.

So that's it from me on this issue. What do you think about this couple's photos? Do you think that Ms Ying's reaction is justified? Who would you blame? What would you have done if these were your wedding photos? Would you have organized your wedding any differently? And what do you think about Mr Tang's choice of attire for his wedding day? Is his attitude pretty typical of men when it comes to fashion? Do leave a comment below, many thanks for reading.