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| Back in hazy Singapore... (cough, cough, choke) |
1. Singaporeans are still bloody rude.
Oh I am appalled at how rude Singaporeans are to service staff. On my flight to Singapore from Brunei, I sat amongst a group of Singaporeans and we were being served breakfast. The stewardess was politely offering the choice of a western breakfast of sausages and eggs and a Malay breakfast of nasi lemak: the Singaporeans were like, "Gimme nasi lemak. I want coffee." Not a word of thanks, not even giving any eye contact to the stewardess, their attitude was basically, "I paid for this air ticket so you're my fucking bitch, now gimme my fucking nasi lemak and don't make me wait for my coffee bitch." Good grief. If I was the stewardess, I would accidentally spill hot coffee all over every single rude Singaporean and say, "ooops, sorry about that boiling hot coffee on your face, air turbulence lah, we are flying over the South China Sea you know..." What the hell is wrong with you guys? I can't imagine Europeans or North Americans being this rude - I only associate such behaviour with people from countries like India or China. Singapore may be a rich first world country, but so many Singaporeans have the manners of a spoilt brat.
2. You guys are still bloody xenophobic towards non-Singaporeans.
I was at the River Safari when I witnessed a very rude Singaporean throwing a tantrum, treating a member of staff like crap. Her attitude was, "I have paid for my admission ticket, now you're my fucking bitch - I am going to have a tantrum and demand that you do as I say." This Singaporean family of three were the last to board the river safari boat and they found that they couldn't sit together - so the daughter started shouting at the guide, demanding that she fix the situation. The boat had already left the dock and both the boat captain and the guide were both pleading with the woman to sit down for her safety but she just wouldn't listen - she was just shouting at the staff, determined to have her way. In the end, some other tourists who saw what was going on moved for her and the family could finally sit together but there was not even a word of thanks or any acknowledgement from the family at all for the kind gesture.
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| At the River Safari |
The Singaporean woman in front of me said, "Aiyoh so rude one, don't even know how to say thank you." But she said it to her friends, not to the rude woman. So I shouted across at her (since she ended up sitting not far from me), "hey, why are you so very rude? What is your problem? Have you got no manners?" As you know, I have this mid-Atlantic accent when I speak English - I don't sound local to most Singaporeans, so she turned around and told me to shut up because "you are not in your country". Oh that was all I needed, I launched into a trilingual tirade in Mandarin, Hokkien and Singlish to tell her exactly what her problem was, that she was so ugly and fat, so she may as well try being polite given her hideous appearances. Her father turned around (he must have understood both my Hokkien and Mandarin) and I cut him short, I said, "Uncle, paiseh, 我现在忙着骂你的 tsee liao bee 女儿 - 我骂完了她, 我才来骂你, 你可以等一会儿吗?" (Uncle, I'm sorry, I'm now busy scolding your useless daughter, once I am done with her, then I will scold you next, could you wait a while?) That shut both him and his daughter up. As if my nationality had anything to do with her being a rude cunt - she had picked a fight with the wrong Ah Beng that day, I was definitely a lot more eloquent and articulate than her, so there was no way she could win that argument.
Yes, yes... I know what you are going to say - I was being very rude myself and two wrongs don't make a right. That may be true, but I wasn't going to let that rude cunt get away with such bad behaviour. Perhaps scolding her wouldn't make her change her ways (she was probably so rude because of the way her parents brought her up), but boy it sure felt good giving her a public scolding like that whilst I had a captive audience on the boat. When I told the story to my Singaporean friend Cindy, she said, "aiyoh, you cannot like that lah, wait you kena stomp then how? You remember than incident on the MRT with the crazy Angmoh? Singaporeans are very scared of trouble one, that's why they always don't kayoh and mind their own business when they see something like that. Please lah, I know how you feel but next time think twice before you intervene okay?" And I replied, "stomp then stomp lah, if anything, it should be that rude woman who should be the asshole who is named and shamed - and if people wanna film me scolding this woman, they're more than welcome to do so, that might even get me more hits on my blog and my Youtube channel."
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| I had fun catching up with friends and family. |
3. Singaporeans still work crazy hours.
OMFG, You guys work such long hours it is unreal. In contrast, I am such a lazy bum as my working week is far shorter than yours, yet I am still financially much better off than many of my Singaporean peers. I find the whole situation unreal. My sister regularly puts in 12 hours a day at her office, she works for a Singaporean company and she says that is completely normal. She wanted to send me off at the airport and thus had to start work at 7 am just to be able to leave the office early, in order to see me off at the airport. In the end, we barely managed to say goodbye as she arrived late and I simply had to run to my plane. I had other friends who were working so hard they didn't have time to see me at all despite the fact that I was in Singapore for a full three weeks - if they work this hard, then that means they have virtually no time for friends, family or any other kind of social life at all. Good grief. I only hope that you actually do enjoy your work very much, because it consumes most of your waking hours!
4. The shopping was very disappointing I'm afraid
I actually bought far less on this trip than on previous trips - most of what I bought were food items. The quality of the clothes shopping has dropped dramatically compared to the period of 2011, when I spent a lot of time in Singapore. I don't quite know why this is the case (readers, if you have any suggestions please), perhaps it is a question of shifting fashion trends or simply a lack of taste amongst local consumers: but take the local chain Natural Project for example. Back in 2011, I spent quite a lot of money with them as I found their style quite edgy and interesting. This time round, I was extremely disappointed with their collection as it has gone for a totally different market, like for people with no taste in fashion and are clueless about what actually looks good. What a shame Natural Project - and to think I used to spend so much money with you. Even the edgier shops in Bugis Street or Far East Plaza had anything interesting this time, sigh. I have actually spent far more on shopping in the last 48 hours since returning to the UK as the fashion here is just so much trendier. so I shall chalk this up to a matter of cultural difference between East and West.
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| Plenty to do in Singapore, just not much to buy. |
5. The politics of Singapore still hasn't shifted much, it is still PAP-land.
As mentioned in a recent article, I am quite disappointed with the current state of democracy in Singapore. In principle, I think that it is a very good idea to have a credible opposition to keep the ruling party in check, because the ruling party can make mistakes and they should not be able to get away with these mistakes (such as increasing the population in Singapore to 6.9 million by opening the floodgates to even more unskilled migrants from China of all bloody places). However, the quality of the opposition is... varied to say the least. You have some very good policies from people like the WP and SDP, then you have jokers like Han Hui Hui and Roy Ngerng who just can't be taken seriously at all. Taking on the mighty PAP is a very difficult challenge to say the least, thus if the opposition parties fail to attract extremely credible candidates in light of the whole SG50 euphoria and in light of the death of LKY this year, then I'm afraid little will change after the elections. Did I mention that I have an ex-classmate who's running as a PAP MP and will probably win? Urgh. No, I have not spoken to him and don't intend to. Ironically, we were good friends back in VJC and we even met up back in 2011 when he helped me a lot with my work in Singapore, but given our political differences, I don't think I can bring myself to speak to him again, just no way man, no way.
6. Not just nostalgia but new experiences.
I am very glad that I am not just visiting old places I used to hang out in when I grew up in Singapore prior to moving away in 1997, but I am also revisiting places I have since discovered in recent years. I am not just seeing old classmates (and army friends), but I am also meeting up with new friends I have made in recent years and have even had the pleasure of meeting some of my readers in Singapore. So my references to Singapore are not just about the distant past, but it is an ongoing relationship that is constantly evolving and growing. I guess if old classmates cannot really be asked to reach out to me and meet for an ice kachang and teh tarik when I am in town, then I can take a hint and spend time with people who are actually interested in spending time with me when I am in Singapore - it is wonderful to actually have a network of friends (a mix of old and new) I can spend so much quality time with in Singapore and I am most grateful for that - that gives me more reasons to keep returning to Singapore in the future.
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| Catching up with old friends and making new ones in Singapore |
7. I am still arguing with my parents.
What's new? May I refer you to my previous post on that stupid argument I had with my dad over a phone call. I still can't bring myself to say to him, "why can't you take the time and effort to understand what I feel and how I think? Are you not interested to get to know me as a person?" But no, I can't go there - so instead when he frustrates me by making zero effort to get to know me, I say shit like, "Angmoh culture is so much more superior to Chinese culture in every way," just to irk him and wind him up. Ironically, I don't even agree with that statement at all, but I know it would upset him so I say shit like that. Yes, I am not telling you anything new, am I? I am your ultimate passive-aggressive bitch, et plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose, comme toujours.
8. My nephew has surprised me...
Let me state please, this is neither a good or a bad thing, just a little detail that took me by surprise and it proved that my assumptions were wrong. Now I am extremely westernized by choice thus even before I had moved to the UK, I was already white on the inside, yellow on the outside like a banana. Well, you know the story, I didn't get along with my parents at all as a child but I am not confrontation, I am passive-aggressive, so instead of arguing with them openly, I chose to irk them by rejecting the Chinese culture they represented and wanted to confound them by becoming as white as possible on the inside. I had assumed that the next generation of Singaporeans would be even whiter than me, given the education system and the way younger Singaporeans are exposed to even more western culture through the internet - but my nephew is extremely Chinese, extremely Singaporean in a way that surprised me.
9. The weather in Singapore is still pretty horrible.
Oh man. I am so glad I am back in London where it is currently 15 degrees: it is a beautiful day, bright sunshine and I am enjoying the lovely cool weather. I am so sick and tired of sweating already. Every little thing I did resulted in me breaking out into a sweat and I found myself having to bring an extra T-shirt with me everywhere just in case I sweated too much. And the air quality got from bad to worse - I am just checking the Facebook updates of my friends in Singapore and they are all complaining about the haze. The weather is probably the worst aspect of life in Singapore.
10. And as my parents... go figure.
I don't understand my parents still. Don't get me wrong, it's not like they don't care about me - when I went for Lasik surgery, they took very good care of me during that vital first 24 hours after the surgery. So there was kindness for sure. But here's the one thing that bugged me - I was in Singapore for three whole weeks and not once did they ask me about my work or what I did or a living these days. (Actually there have been some exciting developments - akan datang, details soon.) If you were to go to my parents and asked me what I did for a living, they probably wouldn't know at all. This was a bone of contention the last time round, when I last visited Singapore in 2013. I am just wondering how any parent can take so little interest in their children as to not bother to find out information like that. And it's not like we don't talk, but they just talk about my nephew's preparation for his PSLE exams and they badmouth my brother-in-law - like that is all they care about, It's not like I don't appreciate what they are doing for my nephew, it's just that I would appreciate a little bit of interest from them once in a while. So why would they take good care of me when I had eye surgery but not even ask once what I am doing for a living now? Go figure.
So there you go, those are my ten observations from this rather long trip. Many thanks for reading, as always.
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| East Coast Park |
Seems like we're well and truly fucked this time after last night.
ReplyDeleteI told you so....
DeleteLFT, chill a little. It's your holiday so don't get so worked up.
ReplyDeleteI would like to comment about how you feel about your parents not asking anything about your work and what you do. I understand that to you, your work is your life and that is what makes you *you*. Therefore if your parents do not ask about your work, it is like they are not interested about you. But that is your perception.
As parent myself, I can assure you they are not ignoring you. Like you said, they looked after you when you were recovering. To them, what is important is that you are well and you came back to Singapore to visit them.
Now here is what I am going to say and I hope you take it well. Put a thought. Have you not criticised how kiasu Singapore parents always expect their young children to do well academically in schools? Or how they are so proud of their grown children and measure success with good jobs and good pay? Or how some parents put so much emphasis on this constructed view of “success” that it puts many children (even in their adult life) off, because they have not attained their parents' expectations?
If you really put a thought. Any grown child would rather be in your position where he is doing well in his work while his parents don't seem to care, rather than one who struggles in his job, and his parents chide him for his “failure to live up to expectations”.
Fret not, LFT, I assure that your parents love you. Their silence is their way to show that they are happy with your job. If they are not, I am sure you'd be arguing with them about it.
Hello and thanks for your kind comment.
DeleteIt just so happens that the work I do is completely legit - ie. legal, above board, respectable (even boring at times) but what if I say decided to become a drug dealer or do something criminal? At best (according to you), they are just assuming that I am alright, but what if I am not?
They were so interested in my nephew's PSLE Oral Exam - they wanted to know exactly what the teacher tested him on and what he said, but as for my job situation: I could be a porn baron or a drug dealer or a pimp - they have no freaking clue (note: I changed jobs recently.). Can you imagine if you, as a parent, not knowing what your child is doing with his/her life?
Regarding the Parents, we are in the same sampan, and, I rather suspect, the same goes for many other sinkies too. I think it's probably due to the older generation's upbringing. Nowadays I hardly even try talking anymore.
ReplyDeleteHi there and thanks for your comment. One just wonders though, why bother even to have children if you're just going to wash your hands of them and just not have any interest in them at all once they become adults?
DeleteHi Limpeh, this was an interesting read, as always, and congrats on escaping the crappy weather (and haze) in Singapore. Definitely agree on the xenophobia point, but I'd like to discuss the first point on rudeness. Having been a service staff myself (both in retail and F&B), I have to say that you have hit the nail on the head with regard to the average Singaporean's attitude.
ReplyDeleteOne thing that stands out is how Singaporeans don't bother cleaning up after themselves. If it's a restaurant, and they are pay GST and service charge, then that's fine; I don't expect anything since they did pay for service, which includes cleaning up. But in food courts, or self-service eateries (where there are usually bins provided), or even places like Subway and KFC, most can't be bothered to clean up their trash. It's disgusting, frankly. And some have the gall to say that the cleaners at food courts have to thank them, since they would be out of work if everyone took care of their own mess. Another thing, like you mentioned, is how most Singaporeans address the cashier. Let me give you an example:
During peak periods, e.g. lunch hour:
Average Singaporean: "One (signature dish)."
Average non-Chinese/Indian foreigner (who either alone, or with fellow foreigners): "Hi, could I have one (signature dish), please?"
During non-peak periods:
Average Singaporean: "One (signature dish)"
Average non-Chinese/Indian foreigner: “Hello, good afternoon, how are you? Could I have one (signature dish), please?”
The contrast is really obvious. But I notice that foreigners tend to pick up on their Singaporean companions’ habits; when they come as a group with locals, they behave like the average Singaporean, which is sad, because most of the Singaporean customers I have served have really awful manners.
I singled out Indian and Chinese nationals from the bunch because (from my retail experience, at least; didn’t meet that many of them when I worked in F&B), they are just as rude as the average Singaporean. They come in groups, demanding things, bombarding the sales assistants with questions, and most of the time I was like, can’t you see that your friend just asked me a question? Who do you want me to serve first? Sounds brutal, but most Singaporeans blend in better with the Chinese and Indian nationals they despise, than with the Europeans (though they despise them equally, heh) - and no, it has nothing to do with social class; Singaporean behaviour remains more or less the same whether they are secretaries, executives, or CEOs. It’s quite sad how society has become like this, and it reflects poorly on us. (Though of course not all Europeans are polite; about 1 in 5 are rude, compared to 4 in 5 for Singaporeans. And Indian and Chinese nationals, 9 in 10 are rude, anecdotally speaking.)
There was another (F&B this time) instance that stood out: this Singaporean woman, late 30s to early 40s, wanted to buy an a la carte item, but she only had a $50 bill, and I didn’t have enough small change in the cashier till (because we weren’t able to change bills for coins at the bank). She scolded me right there, in front of the long line of customers behind her, “Is this how you do business?!”, and then walked off in a huff. Same situation, only the customer was an American man, mid 50s; upon hearing that we weren’t able to accept $50 bills, said, “Oh, that’s alright then”, and went to the ATM to withdraw $10 bills. And he didn’t blame us or anything; was rather friendly and polite throughout. I’m a Singaporean, for what it’s worth, and non-Singaporeans have treated me better than most of my countrymen.
For comparison's sake, what is the average Brit's attitude, with respect to service staff? Does it vary, depending on their social class (since Britain has more of a class hierarchy, compared to Singapore, where 'class' really means how much money you have)?
Wow Abigail, thanks so much for the long insightful post!
DeleteAs for the situation in Britain, I think it varies once again. I don't think that everyone is super polite but the tendency tends to be that people are more polite than Singaporeans - words cost nothing. So a Brit would be more likely to say, "can I have a tea please?" Rather than "one tea". Now I did check this with my British friends and they all said that class doesn't really matter - people tend to be reasonably polite across all social classes in the UK and it is just our social norm. It is perhaps something to do with our culture - and I have found that it is far more the case in France where you absolutely MUST be polite. It even matters how you conjugate your verbs in French, so when asking for something in a restaurant with a waiter, you must use "je voudrais" (i would like) as "je veux" (I want) is considered very rude. I guess it is a European thing.
Then you have the Middle Eastern people who are shockingly, terribly rude as the concept of being polite is, I suppose, a European/North American/white thing. Having worked in the Middle East, the Arabs are as bad if not worse than the Chinese in the way they treat service staff. I remember this incident when I was working in Turkey, I wanted a tea and I asked the service staff,"Bir çay istiyorum lutfen" (translates to "I would like a tea please"). And the waiter laughed and said in English, "only foreigners speak like that, so polite, like royalty." Then I observed how someone at the next table barked at the waiter, "bir çay, bir su!" (one tea, one water!) and yeah that sounded so abrupt to my ears but I guess that kind of barking is perfectly normal in Singapore where someone would bark "one ice kachang, one chendol!" at the hawker center.
Oh oh oh and in France, you HAVE to use the polite "vous" form with waiters - it's a rule. So you have to say, "Pourriez-vous me donner..." (could you give me - polite form). If you had the audacity to say "peux-tu me donner" (informal form) - it would be considered extremely impolite. I remember how my French teacher got really upset with me when I made that mistake in France, I thought oh we're in this lovely cafe outdoors, do I still have to be formal? Oh yes you do!!!!
DeleteHi Limpeh, thanks for sharing your experiences! I didn’t know being polite makes that much of a difference, to the extent that it affects even verb conjugation, and in informal settings too. Well, that’s a cultural gap, I suppose. I wonder though, if any Singaporean tourists have ever been treated coldly by the French, in response to their poor treatment of the French service staff? And if these Singaporeans have come back and told their friends, “Wow, the French are so rude!”, when in fact they (as foreigners/tourists) ought to have read up on French culture lest they make a faux pas in France (the same way they expect PRCs to adapt to Singaporean culture, whatever that is). Then one genius posts it on EDMW, or HWZ, and all the AMDK/xenophobic comments follow. Perhaps I’m jumping the gun, but it is quite scary how these things can begin.
DeleteI would like to know, though, is there an equivalent protocol for the Spanish? I’m taking a course in European Spanish (Castellano), and I know usted is the formal one, but are the Spanish as formal as the French with service staff as well? I’ve never been to Spain, and everyone I know who has travelled there has never spoken a word of Spanish; presumably they stuck to the usual Ps and Qs in English.
But back to the topic of xenophobia: how is England coping with regard to the refugee situation? I’ve read reports on how some European countries are welcoming, but others (i.e. Hungary) are less so. What are some of the on-the-ground opinions from the Brits? So far, those I’ve seen on the DailyMail comments section seem to echo the sentiments on our local forums; xenophobic, Islamophobic, racist, etc. As an insider to the situation, how do you think the influx of refugees might change the dynamics of British society?