What the fuck is wrong with you Singaporeans?
That's what I wanted to shout when I saw the response by Singaporeans on this latest story about a white guy being abusive to a Singaporean young man on the MRT - the young man just sat there, passively receiving a barrage of abusive until this Malay man came to his rescue. The video is available here and it doesn't make for comfortable viewing. Now what truly pissed me off is the reaction I have seen from Singaporeans on social media because of their blind spot that is so huge, yet none of them seem to have spotted it. So please allow me to make the following points:
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| Do you feel safe on the MRT? |
1. What is wrong with this young man?
Look, if some random mad stranger comes up to you and starts abusing you, you have a number of options. You can walk away, you can stand up to the bully, you can ask for help - there are a range of acceptable responses to such a situation but simply sitting there passively, receiving the constant abuse is NOT a sensible or acceptable response. I seriously wonder what the fuck you useless Singaporean parents are teaching your kids these days - does this young man even have any common sense? Why is he so very passive? I can appreciate that it can be scary if some random stranger attacks you out of the blue like that and even if you don't want to fight him or challenge him, at least move away from the situation by walking away. Good grief. This goes beyond being stupid - this is extreme apathy where you can't even be asked to stand up for yourself, did he believe that he deserved to be treated to be abused like that in public? Is his self-esteem really so low that he couldn't stand up for himself?
2. What is wrong with the other passengers who did nothing, pretending not to see or hear anything?
Don't give me the "bystander effect" argument: this incident took place on a very crowded MRT train - it was standing room only yet people just stood around and did absolutely nothing. Okay, maybe they thought - this is an incident amongst two men, maybe I shouldn't get involved. Perhaps if it had been a woman, a child or an elderly person being abused - then maybe they would have intervened. But seriously, so many people witnessed this incident but not one person actually did anything until this Malay hero came along? What is wrong with these people? How would you feel if it was your elderly parent being abused in public like that and all these fucking useless Singaporeans just looked the other way and did nothing? What are you guys so afraid of? Were you all afraid of him because he is... white?
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| Why are you scared of Ang Mo in Ang Mo Kio? |
3. What is wrong with the person who just stood there filming the whole incident?
The person who filmed the incident just took out her phone but didn't even try to do anything - oh dear. Have you Singaporeans really become so passive? I remember back in my primary school in Sembawang years ago, I witnessed a fight where a much bigger kid was beating up this scrawny little boy - it wasn't a fair fight at all. Most of the kids just stood around, some ran to try to get a teacher but I was the only one who stepped forward to try to stop the fight by trying to reason with the bigger kid. This kind of mindset already programmed into the Singaporean mentality at a young age: that it is someone else's responsibility to resolve conflicts like that - in the school, the students expected the teachers to step in and stop the fights. But in real life, there's really no one there to help you - there is no teacher to run to. Newsflash people: you're not in primary school anymore. In trying to film the incident (and then upload it to Facebook), s/he is trying to bring the white guy to justice and holding him responsible for his actions - but why not just confront him directly if he is standing right in front of you?
4. What is wrong with all the Singaporeans who viewed the video but failed to notice anything wrong with their passive Singaporeans who stood by and did absolutely nothing to intervene?
This is the worst part for me to read: all these Singaporeans released a tirade of anti-Angmoh racism and condemned the white guy for being such a bully; but hardly anyone uttered a word about the fucking useless Singaporeans idiots who stood around and did absolutely nothing. Even as the Malay guy went to confront the white guy, nobody backed him up - our Malay friend was totally on his own. Even the person who filmed the incident stood by and did absolutely nothing. What the fuck is wrong with you people? Whilst I also condemn the actions of this deranged white guy, I also want to say a big fuck you motherfuckers to all the fucking Singaporean idiots on the train who stood by and did nothing. This is why your country is so fucked - you guys have this glaring blind spot, you can't even see the huge problem in the video! All you do is hide behind your keyboards like the fucking cowards and spout your racist bile, but put you in front of a white guy like that and you all become paralyzed with fear. You guys are fucking useless and whilst I'm glad there's at least one Malay guy in Singapore who has some balls - I despair at how fucking blind the vast majority of Singaporeans are in failing to see how fucked up this whole situation is. Talk about having a blind spot! Aiyoh.
The incident was resolved in under 60 seconds. The drunk man was very bold when he was first chatting up the young lady, but when confronted with an angry mob standing up to him, he realized he was outnumbered and quickly backed down. They literally hounded him out of the train at the next stop and he didn't dare get back on the train. There is indeed strength (and safety) in numbers and the young lady knew that she wasn't going to be able to fend off this creepy old man on her own, so she was smart in asking for help. Would she have received the same kind of help if she had been harassed on the MRT? I don't know, probably not given the passive nature of Singaporeans with the "mai kaypoh" (Hokkien: mind your own business) mentality. I have friends and family living in Singapore and this is just depressing, when I realize that this is the kind of society they have to put up with everyday as they live in Singapore.
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| What is the right way to respond in such a situation? |
So for my dear readers, I shall leave you with some constructive advice. I've been through loads of difficult situations in different countries: I have encountered thieves, I have encounter drunk people looking for a fight and I have helped people in a number of such difficult situations before. (Now that's being a gentleman, it goes way beyond wearing nice clothes.) So what should you do if a drunk, aggressive stranger decides to pick on you randomly like that? He starts verbally abusing you and you don't know if he may actually start hitting you. Do you sit there like an idiot paralyzed by fear? No you don't. What should you do in such a situation then? Listen to my advice:
1. Engage the attacker, talk to him.
When the bully picks on a random victim, the bully doesn't know yet what he is up against. You may be the national judo champion who could kick his ass - but give him the impression that you're not afraid and are at least willing to talk. Just talk to him - it doesn't matter what you say really. The bully is probably looking for a victim who is weaker than him - in showing him that you're not afraid to talk to him, then you are projecting an image of confidence: something that will go a long way in making him think twice about picking on you. Eye contact is essential here - look the attack in the eyes and if you can, smile at him to show you're not intimidated at all. If you stare at the floor in fear, he will not go away - he will realize, right I've found a coward who is so afraid of me and I am going to have fun with this loser.
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| Engage your attacker: talk to him/her., |
2. Take control of the conversation, ask the attacker questions.
This is a mind game we're playing here: you need to take control of the situation at a cerebral level by asking questions. So in this case, the white guy had a problem with the Singaporean guy's T-shirt. So a question to be asked could be, "What makes you think you have the right to judge what others wear? Why should others be interested in your opinion? What kind of T-shirts do you like? Do you think we can use fashion to make a statement about our personality? Do you go around Singapore giving strangers fashion advice all the time? What have you got against funny T-shirts?" You get the idea, there isn't a perfect question to ask but then again, there isn't a bad one either: simply the act of asking the question puts you in control of the situation. And if the attacker asks you a question, then answer the question with another question. This all contributes to making him think twice about picking on you.
3. Make sure you're on the same level as your attacker
In the video we watched, the white guy was standing but the Singapore guy was sitting. This immediately puts you at a disadvantage because the white guy was able to literally tower over his victim and taunt him. What the Singaporean guy should have done was stand up to square off with his attacker - so his body language would demonstrate that he was not afraid of the attacker. But in cowering in his seat, he sent out the message that he was afraid and surrendering: well you know what happens in the animal kingdom when you cower in front of a predator. You get eaten. Up, you get eaten by the lion who knows that he has trapped his prey. So think about your body language when in such a situation: during the incident on the Northern Line which I witnessed in London, first the drunk man sat next to the young lady and she stood up in response. When he stood up and tried to put his arm around her, she climbed on to the seat to ask for help. Each time, she responded by making herself as tall (if not taller) than her attacker.
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| Always defend yourself one way or another. |
4. Ask one person for help at a time
In the video we watched, the Singaporean guy sat there and allowed himself to be taunted and scolded as if he deserved it. If you find yourself in such a situation, don't be a dummy - ask for help! There's absolutely no shame in asking for help when you need it and goodness me, this guy needed help. Identify someone who may be able to help you - pick a man who is taller and stronger than your attacker and get his attention. Do not just shout for help by screaming, "Help! Help!" It is far more effective to ask one person for help rather than just address the whole train carriage by raising your voice. It makes it a lot harder for the person you've approached to refuse your request for help, because whether he likes it or not, you have already involved him in the situation. If it fails, engage another person directly and repeat until you have engaged enough people around you.
5. Move away from the attacker
You aim is always to deescalate the potentially volatile situation whenever you are confronted with an attacker like that. The first four steps listed above should have gone some way in defusing the situation but if it simply hasn't (say your attackers is drunk and simply cannot be reasoned with), then the right thing to do would be to run away. In the video we watched, the victim could have stood up and moved away from his attacker - he could have also gotten off the train when it pulled into the station. If your attacker appears drunk, then remember: drunk people may appear aggressive, but in their intoxicated state, they are unlikely to be particularly well coordinated so you can easily outrun an attacker in that state. You don't need to run very far, just to somewhere safe where you can get help: so in this case, the victim only needed to get off the train and run to the station control where he could approach a member of staff for help. That would have been just a run of a few hundred meters from the moment he got off the train - trust me, I know Ang Mo Kio station very well, I'm from Ang Mo Kio. Help really wasn't that far away and he could have easily run away.
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| Run away from the attacker if you can. |
Please note that at no point did I suggest getting into a fight with the attacker or even trying to hit your attacker. I remind you that in virtually all countries, assault is a crime but that doesn't mean you have to let an attacker abuse you, harass you or hit you. In any case, threatening to hit your attacker will only escalate a volatile situation and that's really the last thing you need in such a situation. You don't want to get into a fight, instead you need to defuse the situation by convincing your attacker that he has really picked on the wrong person, that he needs to turn around and walk away now. You may claim, "oh Limpeh, all this is easier said than done when you're in such a situation. Have you ever been in such a situation yourself?" The answer is yes and here's the story.
I remember an incident in Paris in November 1999 - I was a student at university then. I was on my way to see my friend for dinner and had decided that it would be nice to bring her some flowers as a gift. As I was changing trains in a very quiet station, a young man (who was a lot taller than me) approached me and asked me if I spoke French. I said yes and he put his arm around me as if he was an old friend - he then asked me for money and it became clear that he wasn't going to let go until I gave him some. You can imagine how awkward it was as I was holding this great big bouquet of flowers! I was determined not to.because I suspect the moment I took out my wallet, he would just grab it and run away. So I dealt with him diplomatically: I answered his demand with questions. So when he said, "give me some money for food, I am hungry." I replied, "why should I give you anything? Are you a student at school? Do you have a job?" I then made it hard for him to hold me by refusing to walk in the same direction as he was, I stood up as tall as I could. He asked me, "where are you going?" And I would reply, "Why are you interested in where I'm going? Maybe I am having dinner with Mylène Farmer (a famous French singer), but you're not invited. You like her music?"
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| Limpeh in Paris last year |
So there you go. I'm not asking you guys to fight with anyone, I'm just asking you to have the guts to open your mouths, find your voices and speak up to defend yourselves when in such a situation. What do you make of the incident in question? What would you have done if you were in that MRT train? Why are Singaporeans so apathetic when it comes to helping themselves and others? Have you ever found yourself in such a position, have you been attacked in public before? Leave a message below, let's have a conversation about this. Many thanks for reading.
Update: Part 2 is ready http://limpehft.blogspot.co.uk/2015/07/understanding-mentality-of-bully-mrt.html
欺善怕恶。that's the modus operandi here in Singapore. The real alarming part is your last point about the lack of self awareness and cognitive dissonance.
ReplyDeleteFor those who want to help but are scared of being abused themselves, this rule applies.
For those who mind their own business, the rule applies too because they truly believe to an extent that if you can't stand up for yourself, you truly ought to get bullied. This way of thinking is fostered through our absolutely cut throat meritocratic system where every and any failure is your own fault. The every man for himself mindset runs the show.
The saddest part? In our fear and self-preservation mixed in with the single-minded focus on getting ahead, the best conflict resolution method that we can come up with is to complain teacher, report police, complain to and about our government. Even then, you would still be mocked by your peers as there's simple no way of distinguishing between the legitimate (in this case real harassment/public nuisance) and the frivolous (Amos Yee)
This does reflect very, very poorly on Singaporean society, doesn't it? Life is unpredictable and you will get the odd crazy idiot who will try to pull this kinda shit on public transport - but that whole train carriage of assholes (with the exception of our Malay hero) can go to hell as far as I am concerned. It was a pathetic display I witnessed in that video - and here's the worst part: so many Singaporean idiots are oblivious to the problem even after they watched the video. #facepalm #howfuckingstupidarethesesingaporeans
DeleteHell, a blade-wielding nut case on the MRT only held our attention for several days ... and the general sense is a mix of fear and bemusement more than outrage :P
DeleteAnother incident is the youth smoking in the train. Wah seh... all pick up handphones and snap-snap, video-video. No on has the guts to tell them they are wrong!
DeleteMaybe the SG government has created a new disease call 'Sheeple-citis' (Sheep-mentality people). Just like when I wrote about LKY objectively without being disrespectful or rude, I am a dissenter.
TBH, I probs wont give a damn about people smoking in the train, it doesnt bother me much. However sexual assault or in this case, I most likely will as I think this incident has cross the line with me
DeleteAt this point, Singapore is no better than the other infested parts of the earth. Where places like Sweden and the United States are corrupted by this false 'social justice' movement, Singapore remains pathetically apathetic. And we don't have anyone to blame other than ourselves.
DeleteIt's a shame and probably makes me a bit of a hypocrite since I've become an apathetic fuck myself. I can't care about other humans, hell, I'm bordering on outright violence for no reason other than just wanting something to happen.
I'm not sure if this makes me a sociopath or narcissist but I'd begin using my house keys as improvised neck knives if confronted like so. No forms of weaponry are legal, not even mild pepper spray, so keys are the closest thing to a weapon I can carry legally. I'm what you, Limpeh, may call a 'banana' or something, an Asian who'd like to be American but I doubt that even fits.
At this point in time, I'd just like to find some place to watch everything burn away in flame.
-Dan
I wonder what would happen later when it is the word of the white guy (who seems to come across as a raging bully even in the way he spoke to the security guards at the station) against a local Malay Singaporean.
ReplyDeleteThat teenager reflects the Singaporean tendency of "swallowing the bitter pill" even if it is not right, by shaking his head and staying there. Even going to a corner or standing up to the man would have been better, but that said, I can say very comfortably that sometimes, there are such raging bullies in Australian cities too (although not the majority). The Australian tendency would not be to get into verbal fights, especially if teenagers are involved, but race and racism are sometimes involved too and thrown into the picture (very sadly so just like in the video above).
I also wonder when our notorious internet lynch mob will dig out the fella's personal information, and start the nasty business of running yet another individual out of this country.
DeleteOh you mean like Anton Casey part 2?
DeleteIt could be very likely if someone wants to do some sleuthing, but that guy merely placed himself out there via threats and never named himself per se. Of course, if the mainstream media and reports on the SMRT customer feedback section do reflect his identity and so on, it will not be difficult to dig out details, provided that they are even divulged. Anton Casey was just unwise to place his post on social media which could be read online by everyone and anyone, and hence, get him identified exactly.
DeleteI just find it disturbing that this was turned online into some case of "(White) foreigner against Singaporean(s)", when jerks like this exist in all stripes and colors. All the repeated exclamations of "Go back to your country" were needless, and reminded me of PTSD that I get whenever I watch videos of such racist behavior on public transit, which are sadly very common in Australia in some cities, and have been posted online too. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZBdYvN49eRU
Alot of people say Aussies are racist I found it to be untrue. I had an incident with a raging Australian at me and at no point did he brought up my race and we shook hands like gentlemen after resolving our differences. Western culture tend to be very open and in your face where it is often misconstrued as racism. When I first started my studies at the University of Queensland, there was an older lady who worked at the refectory canteen who was often grumpy and short tempered with me. At first I thought she was racist, but after awhile I observed she does it to almost everyone.
DeleteOther incidents like egg throwing from cars, alot of asians who recieved that sort of treatment think they are being singled out when that also happens to white Australians too. As I spoke to my classmates, it often happens more during the schoolies holiday and to avoid certain places along the Gold Coast.
If you haven't read my piece on this subject, please read it here: http://limpehft.blogspot.co.uk/2015/01/interview-is-it-racism-or-something-else.html
DeleteI shut myself off from all Singaporean news websites and avoided all the local newspapers to avoid the unnecessary stresses I put myself in. It was a hard decision, but I think it's important for my sanity. But I still go on a few blogs and yours is one of them, and only found out about this incident from here.
ReplyDeleteThis is extremely disturbing, but I think it is something that is getting more and more common. Someone cut your queue? Just put up with it and talk bad later. Singaporeans are, nicely-put, non-confrontational. But it's just another word for apathy. We are so desensitized from society it's unreal. I feel that we might be on a path towards becoming like the town in China where the passers-by walk pass a girl knocked down by a truck without stopping to help. It's hard to live in a place where people can just be so apathetic and then when confronted about it, calls themselves "rational" and "realistic".
I remembered in Denmark, my family and I got lost on so many occasions, but there will always be some locals, that will VOLUNTEER to help us after seeing our confused looks. Note that this took place in a land where our race is clearly in the minority, and they probably thought we were from China rather than from Singapore. We received help almost every day for the full week. Could we just be lucky? Perhaps. But I think Singaporeans have lost this connection to the everyday people. But guess what? As "rational" and "realistic" people, helping others and standing up for others don't get you bonuses or accolades, and on the other hand, might get you involved and attacked as well. So don't help.
I hear ya. I've pretty much done the same in an attempt to keep myself from falling off the deep end.
DeleteGuys, I just got into a huge argument with an ex-classmate (and unfriended him in the process) - he kept arguing that one should never stand up for oneself when being attacked in public as running away or standing up to the attacker will make things worse. And I'm like, great, so when you're about to get raped, you're just going to bend over and spread your legs to get it over and done with instead of trying to stop the attacker from raping you? Duh. And in his mind, he thinks he's right. Double duh. But he's a Singaporean civil servant who has spent all his life convincing himself that everything is perfect in Singapore. I unfriended him because i now have nothing but contempt for him and clearly, I don't have anything in common with him. The fact that we were in the same school once upon a time is not good enough reason for me to be his FB friend. #clickunfriend
DeleteWhy unfriend him over a difference of opinion? If he is a neo-Nazi or a raging homophobe then yes but this is just a difference in upbringing and perspective.
DeleteHmmmm. Here's the thing: I was never close to him in JC. We did have a mutual friend whom I am very close to, Vernon. So when I returned to Singapore to visit a few years back Vernon mentioned him. Here's how the conversation went:
DeleteVernon: Hey I'm going to see XYZ, you wanna catch up with him as well?
Limpeh: Sorry whom?
Vernon: XYZ.
Limpeh: What class was he in in VJC?
Vernon: (Names the class)
Limpeh: Well he wasn't in my class per se but I'm sure we must have crossed paths at some time back in the day, but I think I vaguely remember him - don't think we were really friends then.
Vernon: Well he remembers you.
Limpeh: OK if he shows up then I'm going to be on my best behaviour.
So this dude shows up and I'm like, okay I remember you but we weren't close then, I'm flattered you remember me and wanna see me today but let's be polite... And really, since that chance meeting when Vernon brought him along, we haven't met each other since. So that's an ex-VJC acquaintance (from the period 1993-4) whom I met once around 2011 and then that's it.
I don't know about you - but sometimes I do cull my FB friends, after all it's quality that counts, not quantity: what is the point of holding on to people like that if you have nothing in common, you don't really see them and you just argue? Yeah we were both at VJC at the same time once upon a time, that's all we have in common. Do you have a lot of FB friends from your school days whom you've not seen in yeeeeaaars?
I do not keep in contact with my friends from primary or secondary school. I have evolved on a completely different tangents to them. However I dont mind being FB friends with them if they add me, although I doubt anyone will remember me as I tend to be quite a hermit in my school days.
DeleteI actually have had people from my primary school add me and I'm like crikey, the last time I saw you was 1988 (I kid you not, I was primary 6 in 1988) and I'm like, what's the point? I remember you as a 12 year old in school uniform and you certainly won't recognize me today. For me the ultimate test is when I do visit Singapore and I update my FB page to let people know the dates: if they can't be asked to see me, then I'm like, what's the point? Time for a FB cull.
DeleteHi Limpeh, I agree with what you did in unfriending him- I do it to a lot of people. Sometimes we just don't want to expose our personal lives anymore, sometimes it's an irreconcilable disagreement, sometimes someone says something mortally offensive and the best thing to do is cut them off.
DeleteWe're pretty alike in this aspect, I feel. I recently unfriended some guy who wrote that women won't outright say what they actually want, and pickup artists need to find an excuse (alcohol) to get to the next stage (sex). I was mortally offended that he would outrightly imply "women means yes when they say no". I commented, and he responded with something completely childish and off-tangent (saying his comment had nothing to do with rape, unless I wanted to go rape someone). I am left with nothing but contempt for him now too. #clickunfriend!
Hi Delia, please read the follow up where I talked about this friend in more detail:
Deletehttp://limpehft.blogspot.co.uk/2015/07/understanding-mentality-of-bully-mrt.html
Singaporeans would rather go back to their keyboards and pontificate about the angmoh than help strangers. Here's another angmoh they want to run off the island. The angmoh was either drunk or unstable. That has nothing to do with his race. More dispicable than the angmoh's behavior was the other pasengers' lack of action. Another reason why I left Singapore. Self-serving, apathetic, complacent, smug, ... Singaporeans.
ReplyDeleteDo you think strangers would be happy to help in Vancouver? When I fell off my bike on the street of central London, quite a few strangers rushed over the check if I was okay.
DeleteMost Vancourites will help, yes. Then again, few will be as passive as that guy who got yelled at. I live in the suburbs, so I hardly take the train. In general, Canadians are quite civic-minded.
DeleteI think I got into a fight with this same ass hole 3 years ago. I cant be sure but it definitely looks like him. We were walking into the mrt station when he pushed my friend for absolutely no reason at all. We were going home from school. Anyway my friend fell down and we all stared at him. He noticed our obviously indignant stares and he had the audacity to ask us to watch where we were going. I then yelled at him "No you watch where youre going !" A shouting match then ensued, with the entire train station witnessing the spectacle. This is the worst part. My friends were like come on let's go. Worse still, the one who got pushed apologied to the ass hole so that the altercation would end. He then said " see you should learn from your friend " To this day I cringe when I recall how that incident ended.
ReplyDeleteAnyway , I think you may have been slightly harsh. Firstly , the angmoh guy already made a threat to use violence against the teenager. Anyone with any regard for their personal safety would have thought twice about confronting him, especially given his size. Notice how the malay dude was quite the jock. He obviously had nothing to fear, knowing that he would certainly be the victor in a physical confrontation ,thus giving him the confidence to engage the bully in a verbal one.
Secondly ,well , diffusion of responsibility. It happens everywhere. It is not unique to Singapore. It is not. There is this series by the ABC network in the states called What Would You Do? They get actors to play out various scenarios where people are in trouble or are being abused etc etc. Its in America and I think American apathy might surprise you.
Thirdly , stomp. Nobody wants to be on stomp. Stomp prevents people from being human on public transport. I think we can draw some common ground here.
Fourth, there could be a language barrier. Notice how the malay guy could say nothing more than whats your problem. And another woman who's best shot at insulting the bully was "stupid idiot! " hahaha. Most of them cannot linguistically compete with the angmoh or anyone else adept at speaking the English language. I think that's a major barrier that could prevent these people from confronting him. I'm just trying to view things from an average Singaporeans perspective. I've noticed that a lot of Singaporeans put on this horrendous fake angmoh accent when conversing with angmohs. I dont know if it's some kind of inferiority complex or something else, all I know is that it really annoys me. You can see from that why they might want to avoid talking to a westerner ,let alone getting into an argument with him. I'd have done so happily though. I love arguments.
Alright lastly, I think this is the most important point, most of them on the train probably had no idea about what was going on, or at least were incognizant about the context of the altercation. I dont know if it's like this in London but over here, everyone is listening to k pop, watching k drama or game of thrones when on the train. At some point ,the passengers would have heard the shouting. They'd have probably asked themselves ,hey what's going on? What did the boy do? Why is the angmoh pissed? It's just not immediately apparent that the kid is being bullied. I'd have asked myself what the kid did, assuming guilt on the part of the kid. Without knowing the full story, no one is going to react, let alone stand up for the kid.
The kid should have stood up for himself. Kids in this country don't do that and I wholeheartedly agree with you about that. Remember my friends reactions when I stood up to the ass hole? A result of years of 'sucking it up ', neighbourhood school education and also NS. Definitely NS. "such thumb " "bopian " and all kinds of other stupidity.
Interesting story Ivanovich, thanks for sharing. I cringe when I think about the way Singaporeans are unable to speak English well enough to challenge the Angmoh - and at the same time, your Mandarin sucks and you can't even speak Hokkien anymore. Like what on earth do you speak then?!?! As someone who speaks many languages including Mandarin, Hokkien, Malay, Welsh, French, Spanish, Italian etc - I just cringe at the way Singaporeans are so incredibly inarticulate!
DeleteThe issue is, it is not so much that all Singaporeans are inarticulate, as much as that a lot of Singaporeans are immensely envious or hateful towards articulate people who speak and write well in English and other languages, but more so, in English. There is this constant claim by some that if you as much as speak in standard English or a neutral accent without the encumbrances of Singlish, you are "trying to be white" when you are not.
DeleteActually I would like to see this 'Ang Moh' doing the same shit in Thailand or Japan. There might not be anything left of him when the train reaches the next stop.
DeleteCertainly, he won't get away with it in London.
DeleteThe passive response, basically that of doing nothing and pretending it did not happen in the hope that it will fade off, is actually a very neo-Confucian move that makes perfect senses in Singapore and other societies based on Confucian values, including South Korea (yes, it does happen in that way too in South Korea, although some people might react otherwise too given the more aggressive character of Koreans in general). Confucian scholars in the ANCIENT past preached that stoic principle of suffering in silence, on the basis that any groundless accusation will eventually dissipate without evidence and backup. Personally, wherever I am, I do not believe in this passivity. There is a time for passivity and silence, and there is a time for outspoken reaction, and the possibility of physical assault or any form of physical abuse (including the Caucasian man trying to use force to throw the teenager out of the train) deserves some form of reaction.
DeleteTo be fair, I would hope that this incident is a one off thing. My personal experience, once on the bus and another on the MRT, was quite different. On the very crowded bus, a young lady was in distress and a local middle age guy started raising his voice having apparently witnessed an older white guy who kept pressing his arms against the lady's buttocks. The older guy promptly tried to make a quick exit at the next bus stop while the local guy shouted at the bus driver to close the door. Ironically, the driver (likely PRC from his accent) told us to please not make trouble. Thankfully, a few other passengers held on to the white guy and forced the driver to drive to the police post. On the MRT, a middle age local uncle got onto the train. There were no more seats so the uncle started to loudly demand that a PRC worker get out of the seat. The PRC guy asked if he was really that old, so uncle started a loud tirade using horrible terms like "lousy foreign talent", "stupid chinaman", "who do you think you are". Of course I was incensed and told him off that if he needed a seat, he could have asked politely, not demand rudely and that he needs to apologise. Another lady also reprimanded him for being unreasonable in using such derogatory terms. Of course the whole train crowd had gone quiet and was watching the whole episode. Embarrassed, the old uncle got off immediately at the next stop and the PRC worker was most grateful. Thankfully, we were not STOMPED or youtubed. These two incidents occurred less than 2 years ago, so I hope this apathetic incident involving a loud bullying Caucasian and the indifferent crowd is a one off thing.
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ReplyDeletethanks! I am going to use this as a primer to discuss colonialism for my history class =)
ReplyDeleteYou're welcome Nick - let me know how it goes and if you need any help.
DeleteIn Singapore, foreigners are generally favoured by the ruling elite. It shows when they get off with a lighter sentence and how the police seems to be ineffectual at dealing with them. I still remember a case when someone stood up for a cab driver who got beaten up and those culprits simply fled the country. One would think the SOP for the police when dealing with a foreigner who committed grievous bodily harm would be to take away their passport but the police did no such things.
ReplyDeleteAlso the general Singapore mentality is one of keeping head down, as someone on EDMW said "you die your own business" mentality is strong amongst those Singaporeans who dont travel out of the little island. Those who speak out and take action for others often get hammered. There is just no cultivation of a sense of looking out for each other, social justice or greater awareness of the world at large.
You're not painting a very positive picture for me you realize? You just make me think... I'm so so glad I left Singapore years ago.
DeleteI left Singapore after army and I reside in Australia now, even though Singapore is where I was born I feel no real affinity to it. The situation is made much worse with the influx of FTs and overcrowding. However, I would still like to go back to Singapore to work a few years to pad my resume.
DeleteWhat has Singapore got to offer that say Melbourne or Sydney can't offer?
DeleteNothing, it's just I want to make it look like I have work and connections all over the world. Singapore, Australia then maybe move on to Europe or Japan
DeleteHmmm. I think you have to consider quality of connections vs just quantity. I have loads of Linkedin connections but there's only a rather small number I can turn to today and say, "hey I need to get a new job, can you help me out please?" And I know that person will actually secure me an interview within 24 hours or offer me a job on the spot. As for the rest, we're just people in the same industry who collect Linkedin connections just because our paths have crossed but we're unlikely to do anything together, ever. I'd rather focus on the core group who is close to me, than to try to get as many new connections as possible.
DeleteMy field of veterinary medicine is very niche....
DeleteLimpeh, I disagree with your assessment that "sitting there passively, receiving the constant abuse is NOT a sensible or acceptable response". I will argue that the young man is taking the high road by not reacting. That would also be my response. Why? Because people are assholes. They can say what they want, especially in a country like the United States. They can also be verbally abusive. They do so for the sole purpose of provocation. So long as they don't physically touch you.
ReplyDeleteI have had my share of total strangers yelling ridicules or insults. I usually respond in one of two ways depending on the circumstances. Either ignore that person, or apologize and walk away. Ignoring works best when I know that it won't get physical. The latter will work provided I have an escape plan. Because the provocateur can still follow me to continue the insult. I recalled two separate incidences when I was verbally insulted by a white boy. In both cases, the provocateur was on foot and I was on my bike. I had the advantage of escape, so I opted to speed off in both situations. In the second situation, the white guy tried to run after me. But I was faster on the bike and got away. I never thought of confrontation because I had a physical disadvantage. It's not worth being physically bruised or killed over mere words. The only time I will consider confrontation is when someone else - especially a loved one - is being physically threatened.
Standing up for yourself can either escalate or diffuse the situation. However, outcome is a wild card depending on the size of the competition. If you're a small fry standing up to someone a lot bigger than you, odds of getting pummeled is very high. If you're of equal or larger physique, the odds are lower. You may choose to stand up to the big foreign provocateur in the video, Limpeh. If it escalate into a physical fight, what do you think are *your* odds that you will beat him? I will not take that chance. And the young man is wise by doing likewise. Unless I know what I'm doing, I'll opt for ignore, or walk away (escape) at the best opportunity.
Ivanovich is totally on point in his assessment. So does the following proverb:
"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."
If you don't have a gentle response, then give no response.
I would like to point out to you that I had never ever suggested getting confrontational or even using physical violence against the attacker. Indeed, in my case study involving myself being attacked by a taller, stronger man at a train station in France, I talked my way out of the situation without actually giving him any money. What would you have done if you were in my shoes at that railway station in France? Would you have just handed over all your valuables (wallet, phone etc) and just accept that you were robbed that day? Or would you have at least attempted to talk to the robber (assuming that was no language barrier and the robber spoke English)?
DeleteI am very disappointed in the way you seem to have no faith whatsoever in your ability to defuse or deescalate the situation: do you really think that you have zero control over the situation? Because I certainly have a lot more faith in my ability to speak to people, deal with people, read their minds, communicate with them and get what I want. You seem to have made the assumption that you are so useless/clueless at communicating with the attacker that you are defaulting to the worst case scenario : well I don't share you pessimism but then again, you don't have my powers of communication.
If you were to put me in that situation, my aim would always be to deescalate and defuse the situation. Unlike you, I actually know I am capable of getting the outcome I want. You seem to assume that I will fail and end up getting beaten up when really, I've talked my way out of far worse, far scarier confrontations over the years because I am (modesty aside) very intelligent when it comes to reading minds, communicating under pressure and never showing any signs of stress even when under pressure in a tense situation.
All I can say is that I am very sorry to hear that you have so little faith in your ability to handle such situations. I feel sorry for you. I also want to point out that I am nothing like you and like the Malay hero, I do have a LOT more confidence in myself than you when it comes to dealing with such situations.
You are welcome to express your opinion here of course and I'm just pointing out the obvious: I'm NOTHING like you. So please don't assume that I must agree with you because we're such different people.
In any case, please wait for my follow up to this piece where I point out WHY doing nothing or trying to ignore the attacker is precisely the WRONG thing to do.
DeleteIn short, I'm right, you're wrong - you have a lot to learn from me if you're willing to keep an open mind but if you insist on being defensive, then I wonder why you waste your time coming to my blog.
There is no right or wrong way to diffuse a tense situation, but rather I based it on "desired outcome". In the case of the boy vs the big white fat man, if the desired outcome is to avoid physical violence, then the boy's strategy of not responding to the man was correct and acceptable. There are obviously many ways to skin a cat, the boy could have attempted a myriad different strategies including what Limpeh suggested.
DeleteHowever the boy's strategy will no doubt cause his ego to take a hit since he comes off looking weak and incapable of defending himself. If the boy's goal was to protect his ego and defuse tension then obviously he has failed.
PS: I wonder where SG legislation stand on "preemptive strike" if someone one challenges me to a fight and I hit him first (no weapons, just fist)
On reflection, I think this is a very poor reflection of the Singaporean education system that shapes this kind of mentality: Singaporeans like model answers and excel in subjects like maths where there is a right answer they can arrive at when they apply a standard formula. But when it comes to writing essays to express an opinion, they totally suck and would resort to memorizing/copying 'model answers' rather than try to find their own voice. This is so true in this case: you're educated to the point where you can solve the most difficult maths problems, but when faced with an awkward social problem like this situation, you don't know have a model answer to follow, so you default to shutting down and cowering (whilst waiting for a Malay hero to rescue you). That's a very poor reflection on Singaporean society and in particular, the education system.
DeleteI have to disagree with you as well: I think the possibility of the white guy actually beating the younger Singaporean guy is very very low because he was being filmed and being caught on camera committing assault will not only make you lose your job but land you in jail. I would ask you please to read part 2 of my blog on this piece where I look at the issue from the bully's point of view so you can see why adopting a different approach of engagement would have led to a better outcome. It's the latest piece on my blog: please read it.
Furthermore, this incident took place *inside* an MRT. Where could the young man possibly walk away to? Confronting won't work because he's at a disadvantage. No matter where in the train he went, the foreigner could still get to him. What I would do is hold my position and put up with his insults for a time, until the train stops at the next station. After the passengers have alighted, there comes a familiar set of 3 'ding-dong's to signal the doors are about to close. On the second 'ding-dong', I'll quickly dash out of train just before the door closes. I've done this successfully to shake off would-be molestors and stalkers.
ReplyDeleteThere you go - you're wrong. Why won't you just accept that you're wrong, I'm right, I'm smarter than you and you have a lot to learn from me?
DeleteThe train reached a stop - Ang Mo Kio - the door was open, the train had stopped. The young man had the chance to get up, get off the train and get away from the attacker. Had the attacker followed him, he could have made his way to station control and ask a member of staff for help.
And for crying out aloud - confronting him? For fuck's sake: when did I say confront him? Listen carefully because you've got serious reading comprehension problem. I said ENGAGE him, not confront him: the same way I used a series of questions to ENGAGE the French man who tried to rob me. I wasn't confrontational - I was in fact being friendly and talkative, showing interest in him. The Malay hero chose a confrontational approach - that's his choice - but I would have used a different approach to calm the white guy down. If you think this old white guy is scary, you should have seen the French guy who tried to rob me - he was ten times more scary yet I managed to calmly talk my way out of the situation. In French on top of that.
Given the way you've misinterpreted the events, I can only assume that you didn't watch the video.
It sounds like you're a woman - for crying out aloud, if someone was trying to molest or rape you, I hope you're smart enough to scream for help rather than be so passive and just spread your legs for the rapist so as not to bother the other Singaporeans on the MRT.
Don't be defensive yourself. Did your encounter with the would-be robber in France happen inside the train?
ReplyDeleteNo, the RATP member of staff said something like, oh no not him again - it seems that he was a local who was known to the members of staff. The moment the member of staff recognized him, he quickly left the station and the member of staff made sure I got on my train. It was not the first time this guy had tried something like that at the station. I was at the wrong place at the wrong time and others were not as fortunate as me, most just handed over their money. But not me.
DeleteOK People, come and read part 2 here: http://limpehft.blogspot.co.uk/2015/07/understanding-mentality-of-bully-mrt.html
ReplyDeleteInteresting story: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/crime/11738821/Wigmore-Hall-concert-row-over-disabled-seat-ends-up-in-Old-Bailey.html Nasty man abuses, bullies and assaults woman in London - she calls the police and he is arrested and now standing trial. Ends up in the news and he's not getting away from it, unlike the nasty man in Singapore. See? That's how messed up the situation is in Singapore - I can guarantee you if he tried something like that in England, he'd be arrested.
ReplyDeleteIts an Asian culture trait "not to get involved" and "to avoid trouble". Sometime ago in a reservoir a female jogger was brutally attacked and raped - a passing Singapore Chinese elderly couple over heard her screaming but did not assist or call for further help - they explained later that - "they did not want trouble". We're like the herd of sheep or buffalos running at the sight of a lion and then continuing to graze once the predator has run down our weakest member. We're safe now.
ReplyDeleteWouldn't it be ironic if the rape victim turned out to the the couple's daughter? Oh if only karma was that instant.
DeleteThere is only one sensible response to a story like that - that is to shake your head in utter disbelief and say, "that's seriously fucked up." But for my friend to try to justify that there's absolutely nothing wrong with this kind of mentality - that's when I have no choice but to unfriend him. What's the point of holding on to friends like that?