Working with people from another country

Hello everyone. I have recently had an exchange with one of my readers who is a Singaporean 小白 working in Denmark and he talked about a form of very subtle racism he has encountered there - you can read his comments in full here but here is a quote from him on the issue just to get us started on this issue which we will discuss today.

"Basically, it is not intentional discrimination; but as an example, because Mr Boss feels more comfortable working with a person with similar background, culture, local language, it is quite normal that he chooses or grants more opportunities to A who shares the background as himself rather than B who comes from a very different background and speaks English with a different accent. (Vice versa, it is easier and always more enjoyable for me to speak to someone to understands a crude army joke.) So such discrimination is indeed a form of bigotry and it can happen anywhere and to anyone. But from personal point of view, as a Singaporean working here in Europe, where I am always the only Asian in any management meetings, structural discrimination is evident for me. Sure, I take steps to adapt, learn the jokes, way of thinking etc to lessen the effect, but I will never be able to be fully customized. The locals here have 40 years of living in such environment; even different nationals but from the same European roots will adapt more easily than us Asians, after all they share some form of similarities (their cuisine, taste buds, historical war in Europe, etc). I am actually fairly ambitious and I know that it will be hard to breach the "glass ceiling" here in Denmark so I will choose to go back in Singapore eventually where I will have a greater chance of being the top dog there."

That's me - the only Asian face on a the Alarm Fur Cobra 11 shoot.

Allow me to begin by talking about my experience. I have arrived in the UK in 1997 to do my degree and since graduating, I have worked in a number of countries around Europe and the Middle East. In most cases, I am often the only Asian or Chinese person in the company. In some rare cases, I have had an international mix of white and Asian/Chinese colleagues but I have never been in a Chinese-majority work environment before. So yes, I do feel that I am in a very good position to talk about this issue. Are there people like this "Mr Boss" as described by my reader? Of course there are but let's acknowledge that there are people like that everywhere. Take my father for example - his inability to speak English means that he is very uncomfortable if he is placed in a situation where he is forced to use a mix of broken English, Singlish, Malay and bits of Mandarin to communicate. I have witnessed him in such a situation before, where he was struggling to communicate with an Indian-Singaporean neighbour like that and when I appeared, he was so relieved as I could be his interpreter.

Now does my father have anything against that Indian-Singaporean neighbour of ours? Not really, I don't think we knew that family that well, but there was simply a language barrier. My father speaks Mandarin, several Chinese dialects and Malay with ease (as he is from Malaysia) but this neighbour spoke only Tamil and English - they didn't have a language in common. So hypothetically, would my father be comfortable working with this Indian-Singaporean neighbour? No, he wouldn't - for the simple reason that the linguistic and cultural barriers would prevent them from understanding each other. That is why my father's social circle does pretty much only include other Chinese-Singaporeans in their 60s and 70s, because he feels more comfortable with his peers with whom there is very little cultural or linguistic barriers to communication. He avoids people who cannot communicate with him in Chinese.

My father speaks Chinese as a first language but can't speak English.

So yes, if you were to work for someone like my father (well he is retired, so that is a hypothetical question), then you can be sure he will only hire other Mandarin-speaking Singaporeans and possibly Mandarin-speaking Malaysians. However, what if you worked for someone like me? Certainly, I am very proud of the fact that I speak ten languages and this has allowed me to work in places like France, Belgium and Germany, where I have thrived in a non-English speaking environment. Never mind being the only Asian on the team, I have been the only non-French or non-German native speaker on the team. In short, it doesn't faze me to work with people from other countries who speak another language - I find that rather exciting to meet people from all these countries!

I suppose that started for me back in university, you see, since I went to one of the top universities in the UK, it attracted many international students from all over the world. In our group projects, I would have interesting discussions with students who came from countries as diverse as Israel to Sierra Leone to America to Japan. This patterned was replicated when I went to study in France, where again, my French university attracted students from all over the world and I had not just the opportunity to mingle with the French students, but those from the Netherlands, the Czech Republic, Algeria and Hungary. This created a particularly rich and interesting learning environment because of the diversity of cultures within the student body and we did learn a lot from each other at university.

I met so many international students at university.

Given that I stand out because of my ability to speak so many languages, my work has always drawn me to a very international work environment, where my languages would give me a natural advantage over a monolingual person. I have lost count of the number of nationalities I have worked with over the years! It suffices to say that I have worked with people all over Europe, the Middle East, much of Asia and both North and South America as well as from all over Africa. I remember when I worked in sales, the company I had worked for was dealing with clients from all over the world and the sales floor was buzzing with so many languages. You could walk around and hear a dozen different languages spoken - it was like a mini United Nations. No, there wasn't a single person who had a similar upbringing as I did in Singapore - but did that bother me? No. Did it bother my colleagues? No, it didn't either.

Need I state the obvious? Sure there will be people who are like my father - who are both unwilling and unable to transcend linguistic and cultural barriers and will always seek people of very similar cultural and linguistic backgrounds. Then there are people like me who speak ten languages and have worked in many countries who are completely unfazed by linguistic and cultural barriers. And then there's everything in between of course, it is just that my father and myself represent the two extremes on that spectrum. So let me put this to you: I do not dispute the fact that 小白's boss in Denmark may be rather similar to my father in that he probably feels more comfortable working with someone of a similar cultural background and can speak Danish - but isn't he making the wrongful assumption that all European bosses will be like this boss? Certainly, I have worked for Europeans and Americans who are a lot more like myself - that is hardly surprising since my language skills have always pointed me in the direction of international trade where my language skills are highly valued and I end up working with others who speak at least four languages.

小白 has mentioned that he works in "manufacturing" (a rather vague term) but it does suggest that he is a highly skilled technical professional in his field and that he is not reliant on his linguistic abilities or his communication skills for his job. Could I humbly suggest that he probably could do more to improve his soft skills in the workplace if he is concerned about how he is getting along with his colleagues? And if he is really concerned that for whatever reason, he is getting passed over for promotion in this company, the solution is to find a company where the environment is far more international and less jingoistic. It is going to be far easier to fit into a company where the staff are from 20 different countries than to be the only Singaporean in a Danish company. Heck, I've been the only Asian on a German project in Cologne before, so yes I have done that before. Many of my German colleagues were not fazed by the fact that I was a foreigner, but they were extremely warm and welcoming because I was a team player who worked hard.

I think there is this assumption that bosses would always hire someone from their own country - that is simply not true in all cases. I am not denying the fact that some people like that exist, but do not make the assumption that everyone is that jingoistic. Heck, I am one such person - I was born in Singapore, I am of mixed DNA extraction (but mostly Chinese),  I speak English as a first language and French as a second language, I do not speak my father's mother tongue at all, I do not self-identify as Chinese at all, I have a British passport, I have spent half my life in Singapore and half my life in Europe: in short, I am a mongrel who is a bit of everything. Since I do speak ten languages, I do not feel the need to associate myself with people who speak one language (the way my father does with other Chinese speakers) since with my ten languages, I am able to communicate with most people from around the world with ease. So I am happy to work with anyone from any country - as long as they are nice people who will be a joy to work with.

I may be from Singapore but I certainly do not identify with Singapore at all.

Am I unusual? Perhaps. I am very privileged in the sense that I have had an excellent education, I am extremely gifted with languages, I have had the opportunity to travel around the world and work in many places - thus I am the polar opposite of my father who is terrified of the world outside Singapore. Heck, never mind work with a  foreigner - my father is even terrified of Angmoh food. My nephew once wanted to go to an Angmoh restaurant and my father just couldn't say no to his beloved grandson. But when we got there, everything on the menu just fazed my father and we had to explain to him what each dish was. He hated the whole experience so much, everything tasted awful to him and the worst part was trying to get him to eat with a knife and fork instead of chopsticks. Yeah, that's the kind of person my father is and it is ironic that he produced a son who turned out to be the polar opposite of him. If you are going to work abroad, then make sure you are going to be working for someone who is more like me in this aspect and less like my father. I'm sorry to be this blunt but you do need to open your eyes and evaluate the company and the management when you apply for a job: are they going to be nice people to work with?

But let's say 小白 gets fed up with Denmark and returns to Singapore - what next then? Is he going to magically get along with everyone in a Singaporean company? No, he isn't. This is because Singaporeans are anything but a monolithic entity - instead, Singapore is a diverse country with 5.3 million inhabitants, there isn't a clear definition of what constitutes a "Singaporean identity" because Singapore is in fact made up of people from different communities, different social classes, different ethnicities and different religions. It takes a lot more than being from the same country or even having had a similar experience (such as serving NS) to get along with a colleague. Since 小白 mentioned sharing a crude army joke in his post, please allow me to share with you a little story from my army days.

Is there a clear definition of what is a Singaporean identity?

Now there was this Singaporean Indian staff sergeant 'Matex' (not his real name) who wasn't particularly popular, he was a controversial character for so many reasons and I worked for him in my unit. As his birthday approached, an officer in the unit gave some money and told me to get a birthday card so that everyone could wish Matex a happy birthday. So the card was passed around the unit and when it came to me, I just signed my name and wrote 'happy birthday' next to my signature and passed it on. A few hours later, when Matex was given the card, I noticed some of the Chinese soldiers giggling. Matex then came up to me and asked me, "Can you tell me what those Chinese characters mean?" I looked at the card and to my horror, I saw the words, "去你妈的黑狗!" (Go fuck your mother, black dog!)  I was mortified but pretend that my Chinese was so bad that I couldn't read all the characters so I wasn't sure. Matex knew I was lying but he didn't pressure me as he knew I wouldn't have written something like that. He then managed to get an officer to translate the Chinese words and that officer had a very good idea who was capable of writing something like that. Matex came back to me and asked me, "I knew you could read those words, why didn't you tell me what they said?" I replied, "I didn't want to upset you on your birthday and I thought it was wrong of anyone to have written something like that in your birthday card."

That is an example of a crude army joke - clearly somebody thought it was funny enough to go through with it, but I certainly didn't find that kind of humour amusing at all. In fact, it was racist and highly offensive. Even within the microcosm of my SAF army unit, not everyone was able to agree on whether this "crude army joke" was funny or not. In a recent blog post about the Charlie Hebdo killings, I talked about how humour is very culture-specific and whilst some French people may find Charlie Hebdo absolutely hilarious, non-French people may be totally puzzled by their cartoons and may find them offensive. Similarly, in a place like Singapore, there isn't one kind of humour that is understood and appreciated by all Singaporeans . Some Singaporeans may find Jack Neo's many personas like 梁婆婆 and 梁细妹 funny, others may find Neo's drag acts rather stale and slapstick. Personally, even though I do understand the cultural context for Jack Neo's skits, I still find them rather low brow and crude. I do not find them funny at all. Please watch of the skit below if you are Singaporean and tell me if you genuinely find this type of comedy funny:

Staying with my army unit, even amongst the Singaporean-Chinese soldiers, we didn't all get along with each other. Hell no. The regulars didn't like the NSF, there was this tension between those from polys and those from JCs, the Mandarin and Hokkien soldiers didn't really speak to those who were English speaking. there was a huge gulf between the jiat-kentang guys who listened to British and American pop music and the jiat-png guys who listened to Mandopop and Cantopop. Those who were from rich families looked down on those from humble HDB backgrounds, need I go on? Were we one big happy family? Hardly. We were just a bunch of Singaporean guys who were rather randomly thrown together in this unit and forced to work together for a predetermined amount of time. At best, we tolerated each other and at worst, people fought and argued. The racist joke on the birthday card was just the tip of the iceberg, there was so much shit that went on behind the scenes - perhaps it was particularly bad in my unit, perhaps many of you have experienced the same thing. Do let me know in the comments section below please.

You may say, oh that's just NS, that's the army, it's different in the civilian world. I wasn't sure, so I decided to speak to my an old friend from VJC about this: let's call her Vanessa. After VJC, she studied at NUS and has worked all her life in Singapore. She works for a very Singaporean company and has a very Singaporean boss. All her colleagues are Singaporean and you couldn't find a more Singaporean environment to work in. I showed Vanessa 小白's quote and asked her for her reaction. So how is Vanessa finding it in Singapore then? Please allow me to quote her reply:

Vanessa works in Singapore.

"Alamak your reader is seriously deluded, he is suffering from 'the grass is greener on the other side of the fence' syndrome. By all means, if he wants to come back to Singapore and work because he feels at home here and misses his family and old friends, then by all means do so. But all this talk about the boss offering favour to those from a similar cultural background? Dream on. What total bullshit. In my company practically everyone is Singaporean and there are two Malaysians, the boss is Chinese-Singaporean and Hokkien; but if I expected some kind of special treatment just because I am Chinese-Singaporean and Hokkien as well, then he would tell me to go fly a kite. No, instead I am expected to do my job and earn my keep - I have to prove my worth to the company, I have to deliver on my projects and I have to show that I am worthy of that next promotion. There are plenty of mean Singaporean bosses out there who don't give a shit if you grew up on the same street as them or went to the same school - what were you expecting? Come on lah, this guy seriously needs a reality check.

There is so much office politics in the Singaporean company where I work. People would stab you in the back if it would mean some kind of personal gain to them, it is so competitive. You don't know whom you can trust and there are a bunch of people who go out of their way to sa-ka (suck up to) the boss. To be fair, this kind of office politics would happen in any country in the world, that's just the way it is when you are in a competitive environment. Tell your reader not to expect to get along with everyone in a Singaporean company because there will be evil Singaporean colleagues who would gladly stab him in the back and the fact that they can share a crude army shock with him means absolutely nothing in the real business world. Seriously, has he ever heard of the saying, "公事公办"? Do what you want in your free time away from the office, choose the friends you wish to socialize with but when you are at work on company time, you do not mess around by allowing your personal sentiments or private interests to get in the way of doing your job professionally. And if your job involves you working with Danish people, then you jolly well suck it up and do what you have to bloody well do to get along with them Danes during office hours! You can be as Singaporean as you like when you leave the office. 公事公办, there is no time or space for all this sentimentality at work.

Is the grass greener in Singapore?

Is your reader going to find the cultural context of a Singaporean company familiar? Maybe - that would depend on how long he has been away from Singapore, certainly a Danish work environment would be extremely different from a Singaporean one. Would he face a shock to the system when he returns? Perhaps - but there will at least be a period of transition where he would struggle initially to adapt to life back in Singapore. But let's get real here: he faces a different kind of challenge in Singapore. He is just another middle-aged Singapore executive in the rat race, it is a highly competitive environment and being in a management meeting with a room full of other Singaporeans isn't going to make his work any easier. If he is just like everyone else, he risks blending into the background and be a part of the wallpaper here. If he is under the impression that in Singaporean companies we are all happily joking away in Hokkien and Singlish whilst snacking on curry puffs, popiah and keuh lapis, then he is seriously seeing Singapore through rose tinted lenses. I would love to invite him to one of the meetings in my office to give him a bloody rude shock to the system and see how caustic the environment can be in a Singaporean office."

I would like to end with another personal story involving my father. So it may be hard to get along with someone from another country if there is a linguistic and cultural barrier? How about someone from the same country then? Vanessa is not convinced it is any easier. How about someone from the same family then? Siblings share so much in common: they have the same parents, they grew up together speaking the same language in the same environment, they spent years living under the same roof. Surely we must all get along with our siblings by that token, right? No. My father has a younger brother he has not spoken to in years. They fell out in a big way back in 1990 and I remember the big confrontation they had when I thought they were going to physically assault each other. I shall spare you the details (it's an incredibly long story for another day) but it suffices to say that they have not spoken since 1990 and my father didn't even bother attending his younger brother's funeral. That's how much he hated his younger brother - even has his younger brother lay dying in a hospital in Johor Bahru, my father didn't even want to make the trip to JB to see his brother one last time despite his sister (my aunt) begging him to do so. I hope I never fall out with my sisters like that.

Can you get along with all your family?

The moral of the story? You may not get along with people from your own country, you may not get along with people from your own community, you may not even get along with people in your own family. There is no guarantee that you will get along with fellow Singaporeans just because you are from the same country. So rather than blame cultural barriers holding you back in your career, perhaps it would be far more productive to look for areas where your career can progress by working with the right people. Please do let me know your thoughts on the issue. Thanks for reading.