The internet is not your enemy!

Given the amount of debate my last two posts have generated, I will do a follow up on the issue of internet safety. In this piece, I will be giving you some guidelines when it comes to using social media - a lot of what I will say here is really just common sense, but you'll be amazed how many people lack basic common sense these days when it comes to using anything from Twitter to Facebook to online forums. I like social media, I am an active blogger/vlogger but I limit myself to Facebook, Linkedin and Twitter and my golden rule is to avoid online forums altogether and limited any kind of interaction to the comments section on my blog. That's more than enough for me.

My reader Luck of Fire had once cautioned me, "be careful what you put out there on your blog, the internet is not your friend" - well, I actually have a big problem with her statement (no doubt she definitely means well). You see, she is turning the internet into the enemy, the problem whereas the way I see it, it is the way we behave online, it is the things we say, whom we say it to, the kind of reactions we provoke etc that is the problem (ref: Anton Casey again).

I think there is a lot of hysteria about online vigilantes and the way some Singaporeans have gotten carried away in their quest to punish people in some recent cases - from Stephanie Koh to Anton Casey to the notorious Singaporean road bully ZH Quek. Please allow me to inject a dose of common sense into the argument. So if you're ready, here's Limpeh's ten basic guidelines when it comes to using social media without getting into trouble.

1. Get your facts right if you want any kind of credibility.

If you want anyone to take you seriously on social media, then you have to do your homework and get your facts right before you post anything online. I refer you to the hilarious story of the Singaporean who petitioned HSBC to sack Anton Casey despite the fact that Anton Casey had left HSBC years ago - instead of actually laughing at this joker (or at least telling him discrete that he has gotten his facts wrong), many Singaporeans actually jumped on the bandwagon without checking the facts themselves because if it is on the internet, it must be true, right? Duh.

Another important reason to get your facts right is because your opinion of the issue may change once you actually have all the facts at hand - do you want to form an opinion from partial bits of information that may be misleading or inaccurate, or would you feel more confident if you actually spent a moment checking the facts? Besides, getting it drastically wrong is embarrassing to say the least - it may also discredit you on social media. Do you want to be remembered as the fool who petitioned Anton Casey's former (rather than current) employer?

Get your facts right, all it takes is a few moments on google to double check.

2. Be honest - don't tell lies about others or yourself

This may seem so basic but it is actually something too many people take for granted. Do not tell lies about yourself on social media because it is a slippery slope: you will find yourself telling ten lies to cover that first lie and then you will need another hundred lies to cover the ten lies you've told to cover the original lie. Pretty soon, you would have woven an internet footprint based on a web of lies and it wouldn't take much for you to be exposed as a liar. If you lied about something you did at school, what makes you think someone wouldn't pipe up and say, "I went to school with this person and none of the things he claimed happened, he made it all up."

Also, do not tell lies about other people. I got really angry yesterday when I stumbled upon another Singaporean blogger who made up lies about singer Stephanie Koh. Okay I get it, this blogger did not like Stephanie Koh at all - that's fine, you're not obliged to like her, but why did you have to make up these totally fake stories about her? This is slander, this is libelous, this is illegal. If you don't know that much about Stephanie Koh, that's fine - just form an opinion on what you do know about her and as long as the opinion you're expressing is based on facts that are accurate and true, you have every right to express an opinion. But under no circumstances should your lack of interest in Stephanie Koh give you the right to just make up any old bullshit fake story about her - that totally discredits you as a blogger when you have resort to slander. Don't do that, don't go there - you'll regret it.

How much do you know about Steph Koh?

3. Always disagree with the person's opinion rather than make it a personal attack

Oh this is such a basic rule but so many people do not stick to it - when you disagree with someone, make sure you are clear that you are disagreeing with what they have said rather than turning it into a personal attack. There is a huge difference between saying, "I disagree with you because what you said is misleading and misrepresenting the situation," and "you're stupid/ignorant/uneducated/crazy". Always refrain from personal attacks like that because it reflects very poorly on you. It is a very childish response to the situation and it gives the readers the impression that you're unable to come up with a more intelligent response to the situation - that is why you have resorted to name-calling and such personal attacks. This is as bad as telling lies about other people (ref: point 2 above).

Always conduct yourself with dignity especially when interacting with strangers online - even when you do know that they are wrong or stupid, take a deep breath and do not give in to the temptation to launch into a personal attack. Doing so will not resolve the situation and will probably only provoke a counterattack - making the situation worse.

How would you react to someone disagreeing with you online?

4. Accept that others will not always agree with you.

Again, this sounds like common sense but a lot of people get so wound up about it when they encounter others online who simply hold a different opinion and they get into a quarrel. Yes it is always good to voice your opinion and to try to make the other person try to see your point of view - but at times, it may be necessary to step back and concede that you're never going to see eye to eye on the issue and you have to simply agree to disagree. Always attempt to do this in a civilized manner, whilst treating the other party with respect whilst avoiding any hostility. "It's nothing personal, I don't have anything against you - I just don't agree with what you've said."

Take the contentious issue of religion for example. I am an atheist - that means I don't believe in the concept of a 'god', hence that invalidates any kind of religion based on that concept. Nonetheless, I accept that it is the right of each individual to decide where s/he stands on the issue of religion and I respect the choices that others make on the issue, even if they do not arrive at the same conclusion as I do. If I show them respect, in all likelihood, this respect will be reciprocated. Always try to resolve all conflicts amicably if possible, avoid all flame wars online.

Can you agree to disagree with someone else?

5. Be selective as to who you are interacting with

This is one that always amazes me. Once upon a time, over ten years ago, I used to go to online forums and participate in conversations there with others but that kind of interaction really disappointed me and that is why I no longer bother with them. I have met some nice people on these forums but most people on the forums have very short attention spans - if you were to post something that is more than say 3 sentences long, they tend not to bother reading it and let me give you an example of just how idiotic some of the people on these forums can be.

When I am doing research into a breaking Singaporean story not already covered by the mainstream media, I will have to venture into forums like Sammyboy or EDMW on HWZ to try to find out what is being said by the people on the ground. I remember reading this really long thread on the Encore eServices intern assault saga, when this person posted a message that read, "What happened? Who is this guy who kena hit?" Like, this guy had such a short attention span, he couldn't even be asked to press 'page up' and read what was already discussed by the others on the forum about the case. If he had simply taken 30 seconds to press page up and read the previous entry on the thread, he would have all the information he needed. Cue palm to forehead. #Aiyoh

"What happened? Who is this guy who kena hit?"

These threads are long and rambling because people who don't even have anything all that interesting to say sometimes wade in with a comment like, "Waliau!", "Alamak!", "Huat ah!", "Aiyoh" or even just ";)" If your attention span is so short that you can only read a one-word comment like "Alamak" then those forums are perfect for you. But if you're after something a bit more substantial, then there are other websites which offer that - and this is why I blog. People with short attention spans do not bother with my blog, but I have captured an audience of regulars who do read my blog and leave very interesting comments. I truly enjoy my interactions with them in the comments section and my blog pieces do stimulate some very interesting discussions there. 5.5 million views later, my blog is doing pretty alright!

6. Do not imagine for a moment that the internet is a consequence-free environment

That is the fatal flaw that people like Anton Casey, Zheng Huiting and Justine Sacco have made. Even if you think that you are saying something in private, if you think you're only addressing your friends on Facebook or Twitter followers, you never know when it may go public. In the case of Anton Casey, what he said on Facebook could only be seen by his friends on Facebook - yet it went public in a matter of hours. One can only conclude that he was 'punished' by one of his 'friends' on Facebook - which leads me to question what kind of friends Anton Casey keep on Facebook. Hindsight is 2020 of course, but it is always better to be safe than sorry.

Hindsight is 2020 for Anton Casey

Let me give you an example. I am friends on Facebook with Alvin Tan (one half of the controversial couple Alvivi) and he always stimulates very interesting (and controversial) debates on his Facebook page. He would post a Facebook status update (usually reflecting how he feels about a hot topic) and people would respond. I was about to wade into an interesting debate this morning when I stopped myself - everything I write on his Facebook wall could be read by all of Alvin Tan's friends so I have no idea who would be reading my opinion and what I may be getting myself into if I wrote something controversial. At that thought, I paused and decided not to participate in that discussion. Even if it was highly unlikely that anything bad would happen, it was just not worth the risk. I could always send Alvin a private message if I really wanted to share that opinion with him. I don't need his friends to hear what I have to say.

7. The way 'trending' works

Now let's talk about 'trending' on Twitter: people become famous for either good or bad reasons. Perhaps I am stating the obvious but you have got to give people a reason to want to take an interest in your personal life - be it a good or a bad reason. Let's start with a good reason: Jenny Jones has just won Great Britain's first winter Olympics medal on snow (ie. Team GB has won ice-related winter Olympics medals before, but none for skiing or snowboarding events). The moment she won the medal, she was trending on Twitter as people took an interest in her amazing story about how she worked so hard at her sport for so many years, overcome so many injuries and obstacles to finally make it to the Olympics at the age of 33 years 7 months (one of the oldest women snowboarders at the 2014 Olympics) to finally win that bronze medal in Sochi. Her story is truly amazing and inspirational.

Another Briton, Anton Casey, was trending on Twitter for a completely different reason, his crass and offensive remarks on Facebook about poor people on public transport had offended so many Singaporeans he was forced to leave his job and Singapore altogether. This story too many by surprise given how fast it developed. People started taking a morbid curiousity into his personal life as the story went viral - like Olympic bronze medalist Jenny Jones, people started looking him up on the internet, tweeting about him - thus he was 'trending' on Twitter.

So unless you've done something extraordinarily good (like Jenny Jones) or something extraordinarily offensive (like Anton Casey), most of us would remain fairly anonymous on social media because nobody would take much of an interest in our personal lives. The fact is it is actually fairly hard to get the attention of others on social media - marketing companies spend thousands of dollars to try to do just that, so it is not necessary to be paranoid about having one's privacy invaded on the internet if you simply have not given the public a reason to be interested in you.

Who are you and why should I be interested in you?

8. Think about the internet footprint you are leaving behind.

Now I have already talked about the internet footprint we create in an earlier post - so much of this is common sense: think about this question. If I were to enter your name into a search engine, what will I find? I have lost count of the number of people who have posted xenophobic and racist remarks on Facebook pages using their own real names. It is rather unreal - like do these people think about the kind of internet footprint they are creating for themselves? Always engage brain before posting anything - especially when you're using your real name.

What kind of internet footprint do you have?

9. Remember what is important, keep it real. What are you getting out of it?

I am very selective about the kind of social media I use - the last thing I want to do is to pick fights with strangers I don't know, what is the point of that? It is easy to get sucked into arguments online, it is easy to find a forum talking about a hot topic that you feel passionately about - but what is the point of such an argument? It is important to pause and think for a moment before diving into any kind of interaction like that. If you're not getting much out of it, then turn off the computer and go see some real people. The kind you meet in a cafe, a gym or a party. Yeah, real people. Friends.

Turn off the computer and go hang out with your friends. Yes, you!

10. Knowing how to use something safely

Allow me to give you an analogy to illustrate this point. My nephew is 11 years old and my sister got him a bicycle recently- my parents objected and panicked. They were worried that my nephew would get hurt - if he fell off the bicycle They then looked into all kinds of safety aspects about the bicycle - they bought my nephew a helmet as well as elbow and knee guards If they could have wrapped him up in bubble wrap before allowing him on the bicycle, they would have. Then it occurred to me, did any of them actually talk to my nephew about road safety? Did they tried to modify his behaviour as a cyclist, so that he would ride more safely? Blank stares all around - they clearly didn't. They had made the bicycle the enemy and they had forgotten that there was a human being, a real person, riding the bicycle. Cue palm to forehead, another triumph for Singaporean parenting. #alamak

So before you start blaming the computer or the internet, it is time we all took responsibility for our actions. The internet will not get you into trouble - but it is your reckless or thoughtless actions that will get you into big trouble. It doesn't matter whether you are dealing with giving a child a bicycle or allowing a teenager to go online unsupervised - at the end of the day, by treating technology as the enemy, you're ignoring the need for the person using the technology to act responsibly. There's a difference between knowing how to use something and using it responsibly: certainly Anton Casey knew how to use Facebook, what he did not realize was just how serious the consequences were for his crass and offensive remarks. So whose fault is it really at the end of the day, who do you blame?

Stop blaming the internet and take responsibility for your actions.

My nephew certainly knows how to ride a bicycle quite well - but does he understand road safety? You may think you know how to use Twitter and Facebook - but do you understand internet safety? Here's the difference: road safety involves understanding how to stay safe on your bicycle as you share the road with other road users (cars, trucks, lorries, motorcycles, other cyclists, pedestrians etc) - road safety is about how you stay safe in the context of cycling on a busy road, being aware of everything that is going on around you. Likewise, internet safety involves understand the effects of your actions on other internet users and understanding their behaviour, anticipating their responses to things you may want to say or do online. That's something people just take for granted, but hopefully in light of recent events, we will all start to think more about internet safety from now on.

So that's my ten points on this issue - if you have anything to add, please let me know what you think by leaving a comment below. I hope you have found this piece useful. Thank you very much for reading!