Q&A: Answering Brandon's question on Singapore

Hello, a short one for today. I have received a question on Youtube from Brandon Voo who has asked,

Hi Alex. Hope this message finds you well. I have been following your blog for some time, and just out of curiosity, I do have a question for you: Why are you so interested in the shortcomings of Singapore and in particular, the Singaporean male?
Brandon

Well Brandon, thank you for your question. When you blog/vlog, there is a golden rule: write about what you know about and I am from Singapore and I was raised there, so you can say that I understand the topic of Singaporean males very well having been brought up there and undergone rituals like NS, the education system and having very Singaporean parents. Living in Europe since 1997 enables me to compare and contrast what men are like in the west compared to what men are like in the East/Singapore. This has been a recurring theme on my blog: East vs West.

Limpeh @ AMK Hub in 2013

I do think Singaporean men are too insecure to criticize themselves, I am filling a void, a gap that is waiting to be filled. But as I am a man from Ang Mo Kio myself, I feel the right to be critical about Singaporean men because people cannot accuse me of not knowing the subject or even being prejudiced because everything I say could apply to myself as well. You know how black Americans get to make black jokes that white Americans will never get away with, or how gay comedians get to make gay jokes that would just come across as really homophobic if it was delivered by a straight comedian? Well, by virtue of the fact that I spent the first 21 years of my life in Singapore, I get to talk about Singapore and Singaporeans in a way that my non-Singaporeans friends will never get away with.

So for example, why won't I be as critical as Singaporean women then? For starters, I am a man, not a woman. I don't want to be accused of being sexist (because I am not), I don't want to lose my credibility as a writer by tackling a topic I do not know enough about and I have addressed some areas where Singaporean women could do better - but I simply cannot assume I have the right to write about women the same way I can write about men because of my gender.

Can a man ever write about women's issues?

Here's the thing about my blogging style in case you haven't realized - I blog honestly: the good, the bad, the ugly, warts and all. I talk about what makes me happy, sad, angry, excited all in the same honest way. I have written pieces that have showed my weakness, my frustration, my pain and through this experience, I have found a new audience of readers who really appreciate this kind of honesty from me, when I lay my feelings out for the world to see on my blog on issues that can be painful. Some of these blog pieces are not flattering - quite the opposite, they present me as someone who is only human, who makes mistakes, who has regrets, who experiences frustrations and gets into trouble.

There are a few Singaporean bloggers who have a commercial aspect to their blogging/social media activities and they have product sponsors - thus they do project a very positive, happy, commercially-friendly image of themselves on their blogs rather than talk about the ugly stuff in life. That's fair enough, that's a totally different approach to blogging and I am not sure if I will ever go down that route - but until then, I will continue to enjoy being very honest about my feelings on these issues rather than do the whole commercial thing, "look at me, I am beautiful, I am successful, life is wonderful, I'm so happy! Here's another selfie from today! Use this product I am reviewing and you can be happy like me!"

I hope to entertain, encourage and inspire with my blog.

By that token, I write what I want to write about and the only problem I think that can create is the fact that my blog doesn't really have a clear theme! This was something I have discussed with my readers recently and I can't resist going off on a tangent sometimes when I stumble upon an interesting topic. A lot of the content on my blog is driven by my readers and I do love answering their questions. Do keep those questions coming, please.

So please don't take it personally if my honest reaction when it comes to the topic of Singaporean men is a negative one or if I do come up with a criticism - it is simply me being very honest about my feelings in a way that many Singaporeans wouldn't, a certain element of self-censorship would kick in and they would think, "aiyoh cannot say liddat lah, wait 得罪 someone den how?" No, not me, I would just say what the hell I think and then worry later if I actually did 得罪 somebody (often with hilarious consequences). With this approach, if I see something in life anywhere in the world I don't like - I will be critical, I will say exactly what I think. Again, it is a cultural thing: some Singaporeans will think, "alamak, cannot lah, must give people 面子 lah, cannot criticize until liddat lah." Not my style I'm afraid, I call a spade a spade. By the same token, if I have something positive to say about Singaporean men (or any other topic), my praise would be forthcoming - modesty won't get in the way and censor my blog. No, I will just say what I want to say.

Some people like my honesty, others don't.

I think there's an element of Singaporeans being worried about the international image of Singapore - after all, if bloggers like me are not filling social media with positive stories about Singapore and Singaporeans, they are scared stiff of angmohs kuah sway Singaporeans ("white people looking down on Singaporeans"). Well I am not the SPB, it is not my job to do so nor do I feel any kind of social responsibility to be anything apart from totally honest.

As for the shortcomings of Singapore, every country has its shortcomings but in the UK for example, that is widely covered by the press and we have everyone going on prime time TV openly criticizing the government. In Singapore the SPH machine is the mouthpiece of the government a lot of the alternative media in Singapore is once again filling a gap that has been created. This gap doesn't exist in the UK, but it's so huge in Singapore and it allows bloggers like me to conveniently step into. It's a simple matter of supply and demand: I am fulfilling a demand in the market.

Do you understand how alternative media works in Singapore?

Likewise, I don't think I am guilty of being critical of Singapore per se, I know the topic too well to treat Singapore or Singaporeans like a monolithic entity. Singapore is a country with 5.3 million inhabitants - that's a lot of people. I can be critical of certain aspects of life in Singapore or target a certain cohort of Singaporeans - such as the stance the government takes on certain issues, or the way parents approach certain issues like social skills or the way some local education institutions deal with certain aspects of education. I am always very specific about what I criticize in Singapore and often, I am quite constructive in the way I criticize, offering viable solutions. It's never a racist or baseless attack on Singapore - I would lose all credibility as a writer/blogger if I were to ever come up with a piece like that.

I think a lot of Singaporeans would feel their egos bruised or hurt if they see my blog and just assume that somehow I must hate Singapore for some reason, I don't really. I see Singapore as an older family member whom I had grown up with - you don't get to choose your family members and for better or for worse, they were a big part of your life when you were growing up. This family member may not be perfect, but he has been a big part of my life and I know him very well. In any case, there are plenty of Singaporeans bloggers who are far more critical about Singapore than I am. My stance is simple: Singapore isn't perfect but it's pretty darn good as it is - but if you're not happy, simple: just leave rather than try to take on the system. Don't even try to take on the PAP - they will be in charge long after you die and long after your children and grandchildren die. It is a simple choice: either accept the PAP's mandate for what it is or just leave. That has always been my stance: it is the path of least resistance. I suppose Singaporean bloggers (who don't have the luxury of packing up and leave the way I did) would find it a lot harder to sit back and do/say nothing about the government (and I can totally understand why) - but that's the difference between them and yours truly.

There's a big world out there awaiting you - where will you go?

So that's it from me for now, I am trying to book a holiday today and fingers crossed, within the next 12 hours or so I would have it done and I can tell you where I am going next! (Yes, it's that time of the year.) If you have any questions on the issues discussed above, please feel free to leave a comment below - thank you very much for reading!