In many of the comments left on the TRS piece, these women talk about everything from CPF to COE to property prices to income tax rates to the government but hardly any of them mention NS - it is only the men who mention NS because like me, they have served national service and went through the same bullshit that I did (2 years 4 months of it for me from January 1995 to May 1997). From those comments, I get the feeling that Singaporean men understand me a lot better than Singaporean women who have ignored what Singaporean men have got to go through, their second class citizens status in Singapore. Women do indeed enjoy a higher status than men in Singapore because they do not have their NS liability - by all means, enjoy the privileges that come with your gender but don't take it for granted. Do you Singaporean women not realize just how lucky you are not to have to do NS?
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| How much do Singaporean women know about NS? |
This begs the question: how little do Singaporean women know about NS? Are they all totally ignorant of it? Do they imagine that it is some kind of fun holiday chalet experience for the guys who have to do it? Do they even understand how it works? Do they bother speaking to their brothers, fathers, uncles, male cousins and male friends about it? Do they ever ask them, "hey, how is it going for you in NS? How are you coping, everything okay?" Singaporean men, do you ever talk to your sisters, aunties, mothers, female cousins and friends about NS?
From my personal experience, I can tell you that there is a mixed bag - some of my female Singaporean friends are very understanding, very empathetic and have taken the time and effort to speak to their Singaporean male friends and know a lot about what the NS experience is like. Others simply take it for granted that it is something that the men have to do, it is a necessary evil but don't really give a shit what the men have to do or what sacrifices they have to make. And there are even some who are so shallow, selfish and obsessed with their own world: their studies, their work, their hobbies, their feelings etc that they don't even pause for a moment and think about what their brothers, male cousins and friends have to go through. Are they simply that selfish or ignorant?
He replied, "No lah, paiseh lah, very lose face one leh. If she knew I cannot cope with NS, then wait she think I am not a real man, not 男子汉大丈夫, I want her to think I am tough and strong one." And no, there was no way I could change Han's mind on the issue - all I could do was try my best to be there for him when he got really depressed over NS. If you spoke to Han's ex-girlfriend today (yes I am still in touch with her today on Facebook!), she would probably tell you that he was this macho big tough soldier during NS who defended his nation with pride. Should Singaporean men like Han be responsible for the fact that they gave Singaporean women the wrong impression out of this desire to 'save face'?
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| Is there a communication break down? |
I put it to you my readers: let me know what your experiences are. Whether you are a male or a female Singaporean, do let me know you thoughts on the issue. Right now, from the comments on that piece, I am getting a really bad impression of selfish female Singaporeans who really don't have a clue and don't give a shit about this sacrifice that female Singaporeans don't have to make but still reap the benefits of. What does this tell us about Singaporean women and the relationship between Singaporean men and women? Do you think that Singaporean should just shut up and put up with whatever crap that is thrown at them (like Han) rather than even speak up about the burden of NS in the name of being a 男子汉大丈夫? Or are men like Han to be blamed for putting Singaporean women on a pedestal?
I shall end by saying this: Singaporean women, you're entitled to have your opinion on the issue of NS, I can't tell you what to think. But please at least factor NS into the equation when you want to comment on my decision to have given up my pink IC - I had to serve NS, you didn't. How would you feel about being Singaporean if you had to serve NS and endure all the crap that came with it? Let me know what you think. Thank you, kum siah.
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| So people, do you talk honestly about the issue of NS? |
Hi Limpeh, noticed that no one commented on this article so I will try to offer my 2 cents. On the topic itself, I have no comment since I am a male student who will have to undergo this soon, which I hope to get away with as little of me changed as possible. Suffice to say that I really wish to turn up in a T-shirt saying "F*** the draft"
ReplyDeleteThat being said, I wish to focus on the topic of the general attitude towards NS, which if I am to sum it up, makes me lose all hope for the future. People in Singapore are really unable to critically examine the pros and cons of this important issue which directly affects them and instead wholeheartedly drink the government Kool-Aid. This can be seen in statements like "We need this in order to safeguard the country", instead of actually addressing the issue namely the lack of fairness under this scheme. If we are unable to critically think of an issue which affects us personally and instead adopt the attitude that the government wants us to, how can we ensure that people can stand up for their own rights?
Lately, the government in Singapore set up this committee to make NS more "relevant" and "engaging". One quote stands out to me in that this person said that "NS should not let people expect privileges, it is the responsibility of the individual". Now, by the theory of the social contract, the reason I undergo this is to safeguard my other rights. So I do expect me to to be shown some kind of benefits in exchange for sacrificing part of my life in order to save your life. Instead, you bring in more and more people who adversely affect my lives in many ways and do not even think of helping your own citizens. Tell me, in which country are citizens treated worse off than foreigners?
In conclusion, I have lost whatever hope of a change that would have been created as a result of the latest Singapore general elections. If Singaporeans are unwilling to think for themselves and instead parrot what the government says, nothing will ever change for the better.
P.S Sorry for the swearing, I really wish to express my true opinions on this issue.
The Enlistment Act (Chp 93) makes Singapore male citizens 3rd class citizen. Not only must we (I completed NS and is halfway through the reservist cycle) compete with the FTs at a disadvantage (May be forced to take 40 days of unpaid leave a year, according to Enlistment Act), we also have to endure a later head start in our career.
DeleteSeriously, I can't think of any way to even the ground for Singapore male citizens other than making every Singaporean female workers and FT to take a compulsory 40 days of unpaid leave per year.
Hi Wanderlust, thanks for your frank comment. It's bad enough that we find ourselves in this situation - but for female Singaporeans to just take it for granted and ignore the situation in front of them, i'm like, WTF? Do women just assume, "men must buy be flowers, treat me like a princess, put me on a pedestal and guard the country for me"?
DeleteAnd Chee Ming, I'd love to see female Singaporeans do NS. Share the burden.
Not easy (If you want to see meme, insert the "Imposshiblu" face). I mean asking the Singaporean ladies to serve NS. No politician in the right mind would be asking for that (Yup, Tan Kin Lian is not a politician in his right mind. He only mentioned of asking Singapore ladies to serve NS in his failed, and I think "fail" is an understatement, Presidential Election campaign in 2011), it's a guaranteed way of losing ~50% of the vote.
DeleteI think a lot of Singapore ladies have a more realistic view. They don't mind living in HDB, as long as they have a happy family. As for the "princess" thingy, I'll show them the picture of Charles II of Spain and ask them, "You want this ugly fuck to be your husband?"
I have 2 brothers who served NS and I didn't have to because I'm a girl. If the conscription also includes girls, I wouldn't mind serving NS when I turned 18. If you believe just because we're girls we're lucky not to serve NS, let me share with you a more worldly perception from a woman's point of view.
ReplyDelete1: NS do make some boys grow up. It is not entirely appropriate to view NS as simply a liability that no one gains anything from out of the 2 plus years. It holds you back from starting your career or completing tertiary education but what you get in return is character development.
2: Women have to put up with lower pay for doing the same thing throughout their lives in almost all professions except in Nordic countries. Despite all the talk by politicians who typically are a bunch of balding men, nothing has been done.
3: Women in the past didn't have the right to own property, to cast a vote, do not have a career and were expected to be married off before 20 and have kids and be a stay at home mum until the last 200 years. How do we feel? Lesser mortals since time immemorial?
4: USA has a black president but never a lady president. Obama was considered a rookie when he entered the presidential election. Hillary on the other hand, has a resume that anyone would be convinced would do a good job. Yes, other factors are at play but USA is predominantly a white country and without the white people Obama would not have triumphed over Hillary to become the democratic nominee for the presidential election. It sends a message to all women out there: Sexism is just as big out there when people rather choose to vote for a rookie black person over an experienced lady politician. It looks like the glass ceiling is still there after all. I have no doubt that it will take at least another 50 years for Americans to accept a black woman as their president if USA remains as a predominately white country. So men, please stop your whinging over sacrificing 2 years for NS. We have a lot more to whinge about.
It is not my intention to belittle the service of NS men. But I find it forgivable when some women who may be ignorant of what guys have to go through just as how men whether through ignorance or as a form of dominance subjugated women even up to this day.
In conclusion, as a woman my take is no use whinging, the world continues to be unfair. 2 years of local men having to serve NS is peanuts when you look at the whole picture.
Hi there, thanks for your reply, allow me to respond please.
Delete1. I have already dealt with the issue here:
http://limpehft.blogspot.co.uk/2012/09/does-ns-make-our-men-grow-up.html
http://limpehft.blogspot.co.uk/2012/04/part-1-limpeh-debunks-some-ns-myths.html
2 + 3. Even if women did suffer sexism in the past, it still doesn't explain nor excuse the fact that women are (by and large) ignorant to the suffering of Singaporean men happening on their doorstep, to people like their brothers, uncles, cousins, boyfriends, even husbands (and perhaps their sons).
4. There was more at play than Hilary's gender - but it would take a whole post to address that issue. I think you're not giving Obama enough credit. But like I said, it would take many pages of arguing for me to lay out my POV.
5. I don't believe 2 wrongs make a right: men should be aware of why feminism exists, the struggles of women, the rights of women and respect women as equals. But by the same token, women should also be aware of what is happening on their doorstep - nobody (male or female) has any excuse for ignorance at the end of the day; I think you're using an excuse for female ignorance on the issue of NS in Singapore and for me, that just makes you part of the problem, not the solution. It would've been heartening if you've simply said, "The fact that I actually read your piece and bothered responding shows that I am not one of those ignorant women you talk about and I am proof that not all women in Singapore are selfish." Shame, but there you go. Sorry if I have been blunt.
Not another budding feminist and her misandric ideas. I won't touch on the Obama point because it's wrong on so many counts as pointed out by LIFT.
DeleteFeminists speak of equal rights only when it favors them. There are lots of issues where men clearly disadvantages and feminists are keen to keep it that way.
- Feminists are against equal custody for fathers
http://www.glennsacks.com/enewsletters/enews_11_28_06.htm
- Feminists fought and won right to disclose identity of men they falsely accuse
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-10760239
A disturbing video, whole country under the right to abuse false accusations http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GjgBfklmYj8
- Feminists fighting for right to unequal sentencing for women
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-13666066
- Feminists fighting to suppress evidence showing that half of domestic violence is done by women
http://pubpages.unh.edu/~mas2/V74-gender-symmetry-with-gramham-Kevan-Method%208-.pdf
- Feminist fighting to continue discrimination against men in child support policy
http://web.archive.org/web/20110828181353/http://rinow.org/legislative-agenda/2011-legislative-agenda-draft-as-of-21411/
Amongst many other countless examples of men clearly discriminated against like workplace casualty and cancer research funding which feminists conveniently overlook.
I'll leave this picture in closing http://i.imgur.com/UjhZgw4.jpg
"NS do make some boys grow up. It is not entirely appropriate to view NS as simply a liability that no one gains anything from out of the 2 plus years. It holds you back from starting your career or completing tertiary education but what you get in return is character development."
DeleteOh my, do Singaporean girls not grow up? Don't they need good character development too? Or do they naturally grow up while men need 2+ years of regimentation to grow up? Are there many more immature women with character problems than men?
NS is a liability, plain and simple. The gov has never been shy about that.
I feel I will need to write a full blog piece to do this justice - gonna have to try to find the time to get started on it ...
Delete@Devil, no most local women do not grow up and treat men like their dad, as in they expect them to pay for all their expenses, provide them a place to live in and drive them around in a car.
DeleteI'm male and left with 1 more ICT next year then it's goodbye forever to mindef and fark you PAP!
ReplyDeleteAs to why no females have commented yet I assume most take it for granted and are generally apathetic to political issues.
As for princess attitude, luckily i don't have to deal with that as my gf is not local.
To be fair, I will like to point out that most people here are generally pretty apathetic to political issues. With regards to the comments on limpeh's article which was posted on therealsingapore, I notice a lot of people unwilling to use their heads and think of the issue on their own even if it concerns them. Instead they seem to be willing to parrot the ideas that the government indoctrinated into them since young.
DeleteSo to be fair, your assumption more accurately belies a general lack of critical thinking among Singaporeans than among any segment of the population.
National Service aside, to put it in economics terms, there is a demand and supply mismatch in terms of Singaporean men and women, which is explaining the declining birthrate - all the girls don't want your typical worker bee Singaporean guy, but aim for guys with high flying careers, lots of time to manja them, good looks, big car big house, rich family etc, and all the guys who possess these qualities don't give a shit about these girls because they can pretty much pick any model, rich girl, or girl next door they like...
ReplyDeleteIts the same analogy for employers and employees, and we seem to be painfully unaware of the irony and hypocrisy that we showcase - the small SME employers located in a small office shack in Ang Mo Kio Industrial Park 69 offering $1k a month to fresh graduates complain they can't get young, bright Singaporeans to work for them (because all the young bright Singaporeans have multiple job offers and can pick and choose) while shunning slightly lesser qualified Singaporeans who would be glad to work for them.
So i think the whole moral of the story is that while you judge people, there are also people judging you!