On Alvivi and Liberalism

Now I am writing this article to give one of my readers a longer reply, for "Fishflash" has asked me:

I'm curious to know how you define values, good values and the role of values in an individual as well as in the society? In your entire discussion related to the Alvivi saga, was "values" ever a consideration...? You mentioned 'what Alvin Tan did was nothing that inconvenienced or even caused harm to anyone at all - if you don't like his porn, don't look." My question then is... is it purely an issue of liking or disliking, looking or not looking at all? 

Say for eg... how about teenagers who actually get to know of his doings through youtube and other forms of mass media.... have you considered the social effects of one's actions in this case?

Is it simply a case of bigotry for those who are disapproving of Alvin's actions, so called "anti-porn" in your words, OR could there be another dimension to how we view the entire saga? In this case, I suppose it could be in the larger spectrum... people were concerned that the escalation of his actions to that of a social ill (thanks to the media), if not properly addressed would then send wrong signals to the youths of our society.  Your take on this?

Alvivi giving yet another interview in KL

I would like to talk about a value which means a lot to me, that of liberalism. This doesn't mean a free-for-all anything-goes attitude towards the issue of morals/values but rather a humble attitude of respect for others. I have used this example many times to illustrate my point and I shall use it again - the modesty of women. What you would consider normal in Singapore (a woman walking down the street in shorts and T-shirt) would be considered downright immoral and illegal in a country like Iran or Saudi Arabia where women have to cover their bodies up by law. Who's in the right, who's in the wrong? Are Singaporean women indecent and immoral - or are Saudi Arabian and Iranian women oppressed by their own culture?

What this simple example illustrates is the relativity of morals - ie. there isn't a universal standard for modesty, it varies country to country, culture to culture and here's my approach to the issue. It is up to the individual women to decide how she wishes to dress - those choices should reflect her culture, identity and personality and nobody should dictate to her how she should dress or what she is allowed to do. Of course, in reality, this isn't always possible - some countries are more liberal than others. My ideal society would be one where people are mature enough to respect the rights of individuals to make such choices for themselves - even if they may not like or agree with those choices. Why? Because if you start dictating to others what they should or should not do according to your morals/principles/values/culture/etc - then how would you feel if they turned the tables on you and did exactly the same thing to you tomorrow?

Aha - this is a blind spot. You see, many people think it's perfectly okay for them to pass judgement on others, to impose their standards on others and demand that others change their ways to please them, but if we start doing the same thing right back at them - they will get very angry indeed. These people thinks the world revolves around them - that everyone else has to conform to their standards. I don't like people like that - I'll much rather deal with people who are willing to respect the fact that I may not agree with them but hey, we can respect each other despite the differences and still get along in a tolerant, progressive and diverse society.

Onto the issue of pornography - let me begin by stating my stance on porn. Many of you may mistake my liberal stance as someone who thinks that porn is the greatest thing since sliced bread - rather, I am just so totally blasé about it all. I just roll my eyes and think, what's the big deal? Perhaps this is because I've spent half my life in the UK where we've always had a constant supply of porn available and there is a thriving adult entertainment industry here in the UK. And no, we've not gone into meltdown yet because of the porn. The right to allow adults to consume and enjoy porn has not infringed on the rights of others who do not wish to see it - and I believe we've struck a fine balance on that in Europe. More on getting that balance right later. 

If you do not wish to see porn, then don't look!

I would like to deal with the allegation that Alvin is setting a bad example for teenagers - allow me to quote Fishflash: 

well, you quoted the egs of a high profile murder and the driver who caused the death of others, aren't these frowned upon because they are not socially acceptable by many? social forces play a role in preventing social mayhems, whether you like it or not.

the response of many towards alvin's actions are simply social forces... which if one is to keep a positive mindset, helps to uphold good values espoused by the majority. so what is wrong with this? or would you very much prefer to see a social traction gained in the unique style of alvin tan? 

what makes you so utterly sure that all teenagers will be sensible, neutral or unaffected by his actions? let us know? the fact that he carries a few labels on him, that he represents NUS, the law faculty and the asean scholar (whether he cares or not is another issue), any mindful adult should not find it difficult to predict public reactions towards his actions？or is it all about individualism? my life, my interest, my sex and my youtube? if it's all individual then there's no need to display it for all on youtube. when you decide to make a special appearence on a public platform, be ready to invite applause or public backlash.

Where do we stand on the relative morality of the Alvivi case?

I do recognize the role of social forces playing a role in affecting the behaviour of others - it's called peer pressure, it can be something positive, it can be something negative. However, that needs to be balanced with a respect for each individual to decide for himself what he wishes to do with his life as opposed to how one should spend all his time, energy and efforts trying to please those around him (family, peers, wider society etc). Let's look at a parent-child relationship for example: should the child always adopt the default position to do things to please his parents? Or should the parent encourage the child to make up his own mind what to do with his life and pursue whatever he desires? Should parents impose their wishes on their children, should children always listen to their parents?

In the case of Alvin Tan, he clearly stated that he pursued law to please his parents even though it was of no interest to him - in fact, he has his own ideas about what kind of business he wishes to run and has gone ahead to do just that without a law degree. Now in hindsight, wouldn't it have been far more sensible for Alvin Tan to have said no to studying law at NUS? He did deprive another student of a place in the course and his scholarship money could have been spent helping another deserving student who actually does want a degree.

Alvin Tan took a lot of scholarship money... was that fair?

Let's talk about one's rights - I am going to use three case studies to illustrate how one's right to do something is dependent on its effects on other people and how it affects their rights. Case study one: smoking. Yes smoking is completely legal and smokers have the right to enjoy a cigarette - however, non-smokers like myself also have the right not to breathe in second-hand cigarette smoke. This is why a careful balance has to be struck and smoking is banned in enclosed places like restaurants, bars and public transport.

Imagine this: if I am in a restaurant having my meal and the people on the next table start smoking and all the smoke drifts over towards my table despite the fact that I am asthmatic - their right to smoke has infringed on my right to enjoy my meal in the restaurant without being exposed to cigarette smoke that could trigger off an asthma attack. What is the compromise then? If the smokers wish to light up, then they would have to move to a designated smoking area - away from the other diners.

Please don't smoke in my presence...

Cast study two: loud music. Like many of you, I live in an apartment in a high rise block of flats. I may argue that it is my right to enjoy listening to music in my own flat - but what do you think is going to happen if I play 'Gangnam Style' loudly at two o'clock in the morning? It is going to wake all my neighbours up and they are going to be very angry with me. My right to enjoy K-pop music in my flat has got to be balanced with my neighbours' right to have a decent night's sleep without any unreasonable disturbances. A compromise may be for me to listen to my music in the afternoon or early evening, when people are not sleeping.

Case study three: swearing. I am very liberal about swearing, if adults wish to use it amongst themselves, that's up to them. However, I once witnessed an incident when a group of young men were using swear words liberally in their conversation on a bus when they were within ear-shot of a mother with two young children. The mother decided to ask those young men to refrain from using such language in front of her young children. So in this case, we are balancing the right of these young men to express themselves and the right of this mother to use public transport with her children without being exposed to that kind of language.

In all three cases, the solution is clear: smokers have designated smoking areas, you do not play loud music when your neighbours are sleeping and the young men stopped using that kind of language once they realized they were in the presence of young children. Whilst I would always defend the freedom of speech, this has got to be balanced against the rights of others who would be affected by what is being said. Let me give you another case study:  in the UK earlier this year, three Muslim men were convicted over gay hate leaflets. Whilst I would defend the right of these men to express themselves, what they were proposing was such a hateful agenda (they were advocating the killing of gay men) that their right to express themselves had infringed on the rights of gay men in the UK to live their lives in peace without the threat of violence or attacks - hence it was right to jail these men for inciting violence towards gay men.

Are there limits to one's freedom of speech?

The acid test for my logic is this: what is the effect of your actions on others? Does it affect others in an adverse way? Does your right to do something infringe on someone else's rights in a negative way? So whilst I will strongly object to someone lighting up a cigarette whilst in the same room as me (I don't want to breathe in your second-hand smoke, passive smoking is not for me!) - I would not object at all if that same person said, "excuse me, I am just going to step outside for a cigarette." Yes I have nagged at some good friends  who do smoke about the effects smoking has on their health, but otherwise if they wish to continue smoking, I don't really have a moral issue with that - as long as it is not done in my presence and hence wouldn't infringe on my right to avoid passive smoking. Such is how civil society works - it is all about getting the balance right between expressing one's rights without infringing on the rights of others.

So let's go back to the Alvivi sex blog. What is the effect of Alvin & Vivian's action on others? Does it affect others in an adverse way? Does their right to publish this sex blog infringe upon someone else's rights? Are your rights somehow infringed even if you have never ever looked at any of the contents of their Alvivi sex blog? Note the difference here: I'm not asking if you like or approve of what they did - I'm asking if any of your rights are infringed. Big difference. Let's look at these questions closely and answer them.

Why are the public so bothered by the Alvivi blog?

Whilst this case has been very high profile in Singapore, I argue that their blog has had virtually no effect on others, given that you would have to specifically google those pictures to try to find them. They have already pulled their original blog - so you would have to question the intentions of those who have saved archived copies of their pictures and videos and are now sharing them on the internet. In this case, you should be pointing your fingers at those who are still sharing those pictures or even talking about the issue, rather than Alvin & Vivian per se. If you are likely to be offended by their brand of porn, I have a simple solution: DON'T LOOK. Don't go to google, search for their pictures and then get offended and come and bitch about it. If you refuse to look at the Alvivi pornographic content, then there's no way they can affect your life or infringe on your rights - it's that simple.

There is a huge difference between the mother who was trying to protect her children from hearing bad language whilst on a public bus and the moron who has the audacity to complain about being offended by the Alvivi sex blog after s/he has had to google the pictures and videos. The woman and her children were just sitting on the bus when the adult language was used in their presence - they didn't have a choice but were exposed to it against their will. Now the Alvivi content is not easy to find and you would have to make a concerted effort to track it down if you really wanted to see it.

How many of you searched for Alvivi on google?

Now Fishflash argued, what makes you so utterly sure that all teenagers will be sensible, neutral or unaffected by his actions? let us know? the fact that he carries a few labels on him, that he represents NUS, the law faculty and the asean scholar (whether he cares or not is another issue), any mindful adult should not find it difficult to predict public reactions towards his actions？

Oh pullease. Teenagers who are curious about sex and want to look at porn would have done so a long time ago - given how easy it is to access porn on the internet and how many of their peers are probably talking about sex at school, they are not going to wait till Alvin Tan comes along before they start wondering about sex. You forget what happens to young people at the age of about 10-14: puberty kicks in. The human body reaches sexual maturity at that age and along with that comes sexual desire. You can preach all you want about religious morals and values - the body's natural function will kick in when puberty strikes and the boys will naturally feel horny. It is nature's way of telling them, "your body is now ready for breeding, now start mating." Granted most men in Singapore are probably in their 30s before they have their first child, it doesn't change the fact that you have horny teenagers running around, curious about sex the moment their puberty kicks in. 

Fact: it is puberty that gets men interested in sex, not porn.

Puberty - mother nature - has far more of an effect on the male body at this stage in the young person's life.  They are not going to blindly ape what others around them do - but by the age of about 13, 14 years old, a young person will start developing his/her own ideas, opinions and morals. I remember how I totally dismissed my parents' judgement by the age of 13 because I just saw them as old people who were totally out of touch with the modern world and were, for want of a better word, clueless. They were not bad people, just clueless and ignorant on quite a lot of issues involving adults. Why? Because they were primary school teachers, who spent all their working hours in the very sterile, safe environment of the primary school dealing with young children rather than the big bad working world out there with other adults.Hmm. Maybe they are the lucky ones, to be spared the kind of bullshit I have to deal with? 

I'd like to give teenagers far more credit than Fishflash would - teenagers will make up their own minds on many issues that affect them. I'm not saying that teenagers would be "sensible, neutral or unaffected" by Alvin Tan's actions. What I am saying is that there are teenagers out there who do want to look at porn and have a lot of sex and they're have started doing what they want to do long before Alvin Tan came along. Like, you think they have not tried looking at porn on the internet or having sex before the Alvivi sex blog was published? Duh. Those who do not want to look at porn and do not want to have sex yet are not going to change their minds on the issue even if they have (out of morbid curiosity) looked at the contents of the Alvivi porn archive. Like seriously, I saw those pics and I was not turned on - not in the slightest. It wasn't ... tasteful to say the least, it didn't have the desired effect on me. In terms of the quality of the product, it was pretty poor - then again, these are just two Malaysians in their bedroom recording themselves with a digital camera. You can't expect them to come up with professional quality porn produced in places like America or Germany. For more on how porn is produced, read this article. 

You need a huge budget to make porn look sleek and professional!

If teenagers were to look at porn and get inspired to go down that road, then they would have probably seen the porn produced by big American porn production companies like Brazzers who have huge budgets - they are able to create a fantasy world where sex is performed flawlessly by impossibly beautiful people. It isn't just a matter of hiring a great location or famous porn stars - there is also a lot of post-production that goes into such porn films to edit out the awkward angles or underlit shots, to produce a perfect final product. It takes a lot of money and few production companies are able to invest such budgets in their porn productions today - it's a very tough industry. 

Now if some naive young person were to stumble upon the Brazzers website and see these gorgeous porn stars earning big bucks for having such great sex on camera, then yes they may be tempted to consider porn as a career after seeing that fantasy world of porn. But the Alvivi sex blog? Oh pullease. These are amateur DIY shots done either in some cheap Malaysian motel or possibly Alvin's bedroom. Note the ghastly print design on the bedsheets and the curtains or the cracked bathroom tiles - all I see is a very average domestic Malaysian household scene, gosh it made me think of my grandmother's house in Johor. There is none of the glamour associated with the kind of Brazzers fantasy world porn. This is why I end up laughing at the Alvivi porn content because it couldn't be further from the kind of professional porn that most people are used to seeing on the internet. 

How many of you actually understand how a porn film is made?

As for the labels Alvin Tan carries with him (NUS law/ASEAN scholar), so what? It is ludicrous to associate his private sex life with his university - he never claimed to be doing any of this in the name of NUS. It was a label that you have unwitting chosen to stick on him - without his consent. It is ludicrous to think that somehow his actions reflect on other NUS students (in the law faculty or otherwise) - who would be mad enough to make that assumption?

Onto Fishflash's next point: individualism. "or is it all about individualism? my life, my interest, my sex and my youtube? if it's all individual then there's no need to display it for all on youtube. when you decide to make a special appearence on a public platform, be ready to invite applause or public backlash."

"Is it all about individualism?"

Okay before we go any further, I need to clarify a factual error that Fishflash has made. None of Alvivi's pornographic content are on Youtube - Youtube does not allow the hosting of adult content. Yes they push the limits at times (violence, adult language, women in bikini/underwear etc) but strictly no sex. There are a couple of interviews that they did with the press which ended up on Youtube. Alvivi did put up a Q&A video on Youtube to answer some of the many questions they have received, which you can see here. It's a fairly straight forward video, certainly no sexual content whatsoever, it's just them talking. Oh that ghastly curtain. I swear even my grandmother in Johor had nicer curtains than that. It reminds me of a hospital ward... 

The Alvivi sex blog was hosted originally on Tumblr.com - it is a website which allows individuals to share anything - pictures, videos, text etc. Some people use it to host their blogs, others use it to share their photos and unlike Youtube and Facebook, Tumblr does allow adult content like hardcore pornography. So Fishflash, you really need to get your facts right before you start accusing Alvin & Vivian of anything - otherwise you simply discredit yourself in the process!

We are after all living in the Facebook generation - some of us put our whole lives up on Facebook - we update our status to let the whole world know where we are, what we are doing, whom we're with. Oh and when we go on holiday - we even take photos of the food we eat and then put it up on Facebook, only for our friends to leave comments like, "That looks spicy! Was it nice?" Or if they found the photo appealing, they would 'Like' the photo. Have a look at the photo below - imagine if you have seen it on your friend's Facebook wall, how would you react?

Oooh satay! Like!!! 

Sure you may say that all this endless sharing of photos (of food for instance) is quite pointless - like, why would I want to look at a picture of  delicious satay when I can't eat it? At least if you're sharing a recipe which will teach your readers how to make the dish, then there is at least a sense of purpose to that post? Yet if young people wish to share such information via social media, well, what is wrong with that? Should individuals be silenced if they don't have anything all that profound to share?

Let's move on to my blog, which you are currently reading. First, some statistics. I started writing it in August 2011, it took off in November 2011 after Singaporean blogger Mr Brown tweeted my a post of mine and since then, I've had 1.9 million visitors. In the month of October 2012, I had 201,569 views on my blog. You get the idea - many people read my blog. Now when I was a child, I was a diary writer. Oh yes, I faithfully kept a diary from the age of 8 - there is still a stack of them in a drawer in my parents' house. Nobody has read them - my handwriting was so untidy anyway I doubt anyone can. I don't think they were particularly well written or that interesting anyway.

Blogging is so much better than writing a diary!

I switched from writing my diaries in English to French when I started learning French - when a friend (who was fluent) realized that I was doing this, he offered to read my diary, to correct my mistakes. Suddenly, I put in so much more effort into my writing, knowing that someone was going to read it. There was a remarkable improvement in the quality of my writing after he started reading my diary - that change wasn't really from him, it was from me. Such is the psychology of creating something for an audience, however small. This is why I profoundly disagree with Fishflash's statement, "is it all about individualism? my life, my interest, my sex and my youtube? if it's all individual then there's no need to display it for all on youtube. when you decide to make a special appearence on a public platform, be ready to invite applause or public backlash."

Yes it is about "individualism" - it is about an individual expressing himself, showing the world his thoughts, ideas, creations and concepts. But what is wrong with sharing one's ideas on the internet as a means of self-expression - especially given the effect it would have on the quality of the work? Like Fishflash said, if it's bad, then sure enough, you will get negative feedback - but if it is good, then you will get positive feedback. These online communities are a great way for young people around the world to use technology to connect and showcase their work - I find it shocking that anyone could suggest that we should all just shut the hell up and go back to writing diaries that nobody will read (like I did, back in the 1980s and 1990s). No, you can't turn back the clock - it is time to embrace this new technology.

Is Fishflash trying to turn back the clock, to a time when life was simpler?

Fast forward to my blog today, given that I get around thousands of readers a day scrutinizing my writing, I make an effort to create something interesting, intellectual and insightful to impress them. I then add photos and videos to liven up my blog to keep it entertaining. Heck, I would've put it just as much effort even if I had just 100 readers a day! I would definitely encourage young people to use this modern technology to showcase their creative work, as a means of self expression: Blogger, Facebook, Myspace, Youtube etc.

When someone shares something online, there are two purposes: now the first is a genuine desire to educate and inform, such as this post I read recently on the growing of pea shoots. This blogger Dietgirl gave me simple-to-follow instructions and was very encouraging. I love pea shoots 豆苗 and was delighted to find her post. Guess what? I have followed her instructions and here is a picture of my current crop of pea shoots in my living room! Not quite ready to harvest yet - but I am so happy that it is actually growing.

I am growing pea shoots in my living room :)

Now I do a range of posts on some topics which are specifically in the same vein, ie. with the intention to educate, inform and encourage. They include topics like learning foreign languages, making sense of fashion, coping with job interviews, planning a holiday and of course, recipes. Such posts can be extremely useful and encouraging for my readers, especially since I am offering all this information and advice completely for free.

Then there are different kinds of posts - the ones I define as "showing of" - I'll give you a classic example. Imagine your friend goes on holiday to somewhere beautiful and he posts all these lovely holiday snaps online. Now he's not trying to impart any travel information with those photos, hardly. It's simply, "hey look, I had such a wonderful time skiing, hahaha I bet you wish you could go on a holiday like that." Now let's look at some photos I took on my 36th birthday with photographer Oran Blackwood on a parkour/gymnastics theme. There was no attempt to teach my readers how to do those tricks - it was purely, "haha look at me, I am 36 but I am still capable of these amazing back flips and somersaults, I can do all these tricks that you can't do." Now, is it socially irresponsible of me to post the photo below on my blog? Would teenagers think, "oh if a 36 year old man can make it look this easy, surely anyone can do backflips?" Would there be broken limbs, twisted ankles and serious injuries as a result of me sharing that photo below? I don't think so - simply because, I never said, "hey kids you can do backflips too, it's easy". Hell no, growing pea shoots is easy, but back flips are very difficult! Rather, the message I'm sending out is, "hey, look at me, aren't I great because I can do all these amazing tricks that you can't do?" Such is the spirit of showing off: it is gloating over the fact that I have something that you don't. Heck, my readers are not stupid in any case.

Whee! Look at me! Look at me! 

Now in terms of the Alvivi sex blog - do you think Alvin and Vivian were trying to: a) educate and inform people about how to have sex and improve their sex lives? Or b) just showing off. Answer: b) They are showing off. Alvin is telling the world, "look at us and our amazing sex life, look at how much fun we are having, I bet you're just a pathetic virgin who has to resort to masturbating over our pictures of us having sex instead of getting laid. We're better than you, you're a sad loser." Okay, maybe Alvin isn't that cruel - but it is important to recognize when people are showing off. And hey, if you have ever posted pictures of your holidays on Facebook - you're guilty of showing off too, we're all guilty of it.

This kind of 'showing off' has always been a part of our human civilization and we love it - we've just had the 2012 Olympics here in London and it is the world's biggest "showing off" event. It is televised to billions of viewers from all over the world and we absolutely love it. I spent an obscene amount of money buying expensive tickets to watch the gymnastics event at the Olympics and there's nothing more spectacular than watching those who are the very best in the world competing to win that Olympic gold medal.

I was there! At the 2012 Olympics! Front row seats!

There's really nothing to stop people from trying to show off on something like Youtube or write a blog like I do, if they feel like sharing their ideas this way. If you don't like what they are doing/saying/writing, then simple: don't give them your attention but at the same time, you cannot infringe on their right to self-expression. If you refuse to respect their right to self-expression, then you're the one with the problem - newsflash: the world doesn't revolve around you, you don't get to decide who gets to express themselves, how they express themselves, where they get to do so and when. Tough shit. All you can do is accept that people who do want to express themselves will do so - and if you don't like what they say/do/write, then by all means respond, but you cannot silence them unless you can prove that what they have done has somehow infringed on your rights.

Whilst the words "showing off" may have a negative connotation associated bragging, boasting and gloating - people wouldn't show off unless they knew they could have a willing, captive audience. If you don't want to be a part of that audience, then fine - but that is a choice you make for yourself, not others. And if someone tries to show off when they clearly don't have the requisite skills to perform, well ... have a look at this next video and see what happened.

So there you go. It is a complex issue and I hope I've done it justice - frankly, I think the quality of the Alvivi porn content is so low that it is hardly going to send out any positive messages about porn to those who have seen it. However, I would still fiercely defend Alvin and Vivian's right to express themselves in this way because it really doesn't infringe on anyone else's rights. There is a huge difference between you not liking what they are doing and them infringing on your rights in any way by publishing a sex blog. However, when people try to tell Alvin & Vivian what they should be doing with their lives, they are crossing the line. Who are you to tell them what they should be doing? What right to you have to judge their lives? What about Alvin Tan's rights to do what he wants?

I'll leave you with this thought. One person did comment on Facebook that someone like Alvin Tan who is obviously intelligent should be using his talents to make the world a better place instead of making porn. I wonder if the person who wrote that comment has actually ever done any charity work in his/her life before? Probably not. Oh it's easy to pass judgement on others but it becomes painful when others apply that same kind of judgement on you. In case you've not seen me showing off enough, here's a video I made earlier about the Olympics on youtube: