Now this is why I have absolutely no sympathy for this Billy. Firstly, he shirked all responsibility for his fuck ups, trying to play the victim card. He writes to Transitioning.org who are vehemently anti-PAP and Gilbert Goh chooses to use Billy's story to show how bad the PAP is? Bad move Gilbert, very foolish move. Look, I'm probably more anti-PAP than all of you put together but I want to tell you why this Billy has got to take charge of his situation. I want to talk about financial responsibility.
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| Are you keeping track of your finances? |
Billy has two sons and a huge mortgage - WTF? Why are you having so many children and living in a house you clearly cannot afford? Clearly, he has stretched himself beyond his limits, spending more money than he has. Newsflash: children are very expensive, if you can't afford it, don't have two, have one. If you can't afford even one, then wait till your financial situation improves before you have children you idiot. If you have children when you can't afford it, I feel sorry for the children who have to put up with irresponsible parents who are in no position to provide for their children. If you starve and suffer as an adult, that's your problem - but if you make your children suffer because you didn't use a condom, then that's just plain immoral.
Likewise for the mortgage - why overstretch yourself when you're simply not in a stable position financially to take on a mortgage like that? Good grief. And he has the bloody cheek to claim, "I don’t understand my luck and how an educated family man can let himself got stuck in this dead end situation." This explains the problem - he blames his luck rather than himself. Newsflash Billy, tough shit - it is your fault, don't blame your luck dude.
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| Luck doesn't play a part in basic economics dude. |
Billy's attitude reminds me of religious people who believe that there is some kind of benevolent god on their side, looking over their shoulder, blessing them and helping them in hard times. I used to be one of those people, I am an ex-Christian, proud atheist today. The kind of faith that many Singaporeans have in the PAP is very similar to religion - they believe in the PAP, they vote for the PAP, they do as they're told: study hard, go to university, get a job, get married and have children. They believe that if they do as they're told, they would be blessed in return and the men in white would provide well for them. Well guess what? Newsflash: wake up and smell the coffee! It doesn't work like that. It is not that the PAP is the religion, it is the faith that the people have in government that's like a religion.
It is thus this expectation, this sense of entitlement that leads so many Singaporeans into Billy's situation - they are blissfully unaware of just how precarious their situation is in Singapore. That's why they extend themselves way beyond their means just like Billy - taking on big mortgages and having children on the assumption that the government or the system will somehow work and they will always have well paid jobs to fund their comfortable lifestyles. How utterly naive. When it doesn't work, when they don't get what they want, they scream, "it's not fair!" Since when is life fair? Life is inherently unfair - yet people still want to cling on to some concept of justice and fairness, even if it is delivered via god/religion in an afterlife.
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| Are you living within your means? |
This reminds me of a documentary I saw on the Philippines not so long ago - now unfortunately for the Philippines, they have a double whammy: it is a very Catholic country and the majority of Filipinos are not very educated. So you have the vast majority of Filipinos who are religious and uneducated at the same time - a very, very bad combination. The following story was featuring in the documentary - it is an extreme example but it does illustrate my point.
There was this woman with eight young children (not counting the ones who have already died, that would make the total 13) and the health worker was trying to talk her into using birth control. This woman refused, claiming that babies came from god and the Catholic church did not permit the use of condoms. Her babies were hungry, malnourished, sick, crying and living in squalid conditions in a slum - the health worker pleaded with the mother, "have you fed your children today?" The mother replied, "No, but god will provide, even if I cannot. I have faith in god." Great. She's already let five of her children starve to death because of her religious faith and one wonders how many of the other eight will make it to adulthood?
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| The slums of Manila - a grim place to bring up children. |
How many Singaporeans are there out there, who have that same kind of faith in the PAP, who think that they will always be rewarded for their loyalty to the PAP? I say, if you're dumb enough to place your faith in anything (a government, a country, a religion) apart from your own ability to earn money - then tough shit, you only have yourself to blame when things go wrong. As for Billy threatening suicide - oh pullease, as if that's going to solve anything? Who is going to take care of your children after you kill yourself? At least buy a life insurance policy before you top yourself, so your wife gets a big payout and make sure it looks like an accident.
Moral of the story? Take responsibility for your finances and don't rely on anyone but yourself. Don't buy stuff you can't afford and don't have children unless your're in a position to provide for them! Nobody owes you a living, you have to take full responsibility for your own financial situation. What do you think? Are you placing faith in religion or your government? What is your take on Billy's situation? Leave a comment.
If you ask me, Billy should have done some financial planning and plan for this type of situation. I have heard his stories countless of times. Mid 40s to 50s working adult drawing a commendable salary and living the high life, then off a sudden, job lost and now suffering a mid life crisis. When things go horribly wrong, they start blaming the PAP govt.
ReplyDeleteLet's face the truth, jobs aren't as stable as before. It doesn't take long for a younger, cheaper and more productive worker from local or overseas to replace you and globalization means jobs requirement are changing rapidly. Jobs in the present may no longer be needed in the future. Unlike in the past where companies still give you retirement pensions when you worked with them long enough, it is no longer relevant in this age of day.
It is good that majority of my friends have some financial knowledge. I have a friend who has nearly 20k in her bank account which is a lot for someone still studying in university. Instead of splurging on the lastest iphones, galaxy s3 or branded goods, she channels those money into investment and trading. She hopes to earn her first million when she turn 40 which is not difficult actually if you plan your finance well enough.
Yes Billy should have anticipated this. If he'd saved & invested regularly when he still had a career, he wouldnt be in this situation.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I doubt that with 2 children, he is considered "having too many" kids. If his sons are close in age, raising 2 boys can be as cheap as raising 1; they can share everything.
As Towering has said in todays globalised world you're never guaranteed to still have the same job, or even ANY job, once you hit your 40s or 50s.
And if you have children, they'll be teenagers (still financially dependent) when your career hits the rocks.
So following this argument to its inevitable conclusion, nobody in Spore should have kids at all. Macam extreme?
Hi Lam Toh. Sorry it took a while for me to get back to you on this - I was away in Birmingham.
DeleteIt is important to save & invest regularly whilst in employment, I'm just wondering if that would've been possible if he had 2 children? Was he spending so much on his kids that he didn't have a single dollar spare at the end of the month? Or was he, as you have suggested, making the kid share everything so he could save money?
My parents had 3 kids and so they chose to go for the "tie fan wan" (metal rice bowl) - teaching. They said, "as long as there are schools in Singapore, I will have a job" - which by and large, is pretty true. Sure there were other things my dad was interested in, but he knew that he was financially committed to his family so he couldn't take the risk. Thankfully, since he has retired, he has been able to explore some of those other options and I appreciate the sacrifices he has made for his family.
Likewise, given the way I freelance, some months I earn more, some months I earn less And Limpeh didn't work the entire period of the Olympics because Limpeh wanted to watch the Olympics ... would I be able to be this laid-back when it comes to my work if I had 3 young children in school? No way. I would be working a lot harder if I had those mouths to feed. But now, financially, I am only liable for myself - I have invested and saved over the years and am comfortable enough to be able to take it easy, have fun and be a lot more laid back. Hence I am able to pursue the things I enjoy like sports & foreign languages. Would I be able to do any of this if I had kids? No way.
Hence that's the trade off - I'm not advocating the macam extreme that nobody should have kids unless they're filthy rich. But you have to understand the trade off and the sacrifices that have to be made if you are going to have children.
Hi LP,
ReplyDeleteTowering and Mr Chin's points echo my own views, though I am of the belief that while you can start a family in Singapore, be prepared to expect that your financial situation to be more precarious and have a simpler lifestyle.
Unless you have great income, money that would have otherwise gone to investments would have been spent on family upkeep, interest on that mortgage, insurance and child education, to say the least. That in all would amount to a pretty significant amount in potential investment capital.
The fact that investments tend to be of the long and medium term, whereas the above mentioned expenses are immediate and ever looming tends to discourage putting cash to work and using it to pay the bills.
That's not taking into account whether or not Billy and his spouse were financially literate when they decided to tie the knot and start a family. Of course, it may be that in Billy's case, the future looked bright. But conditions change, and pleasant climates can often change for the worse but when that happens, it is often too late to change course.
This is just a another case of too much belief in the Singaporean Dream - Study Hard, Work Hard, Get Married and Live Happily Ever After.
Hi LIFT, I have to take issue with your calling Billy an idiot for having two children (too many?!), and your assertion that having them can be postponed indefinitely.
ReplyDeleteIt becomes 一竹竿打翻全船人 a pole overturning an entire boat's occupants (yea, even the blameless), since you inadvertently refer to fathers with two sons like me, who have stayed responsible and diligent, through all the storms of a decade and a half of family life, but who remain buffeted by the capricious winds of change.
I chose not to be single, I chose to give away my potential for worldly wealth to the next generation, because the previous one gave to us, so that we may live today.
The replacement fertility rate for a human couple is 2.1, so the way most of the world is going, humanity is not reproducing itself enough and heading for extinction.
After all, if only the rich can afford to, the singles don't want to sacrifice to, then how can the minority make up the shortfall?
Or perhaps Asian, African and South American hordes can replace the ageing and dying old money of the West?
Human fertility plunges after the age of 36, INCLUDING all men, of course.
Isn't it far, far more irresponsible to be a damn old rich father to a too young child, who will have too few years with his or her parents, who are already a foot into the grave?
Or perhaps children can be produced on demand at iPad factories like Foxconn, and accelerated into adult worker drones, like in the Star Wars Clone Wars?
You don't need to take the following personally, LIFT, but at times like these, I get sick and tired of our willing sacrifices for the human race, especially those who are closer to the top.
Let those rich, selfish, single bastards and bitches perish after we do — just like lions starve to death when they have stripped their drought-stricken savanna of all their prey.
Remember the web of life which sustains you.
Your parents also were not foolish to have you.
Dear Alan,
DeleteThanks for your comment. I am approaching the issue of raising children from a financial point of view - leaving aside any warm, fuzzy feelings you obviously derive from the experience of fatherhood. I see parenthood as a huge responsibility - it's okay for an adult to suffer, to go hungry, to go without. But it is terribly unfair, irresponsible, even cruel for a parent to inflict that on his/her children because s/he is unable to provide for them financially. The saying 自身难保 comes to find - "can't even save himself", or if you can't even save yourself, how can you expect to save others?
As part of any safety briefing for a plane on take off, when they show you how to use the Oxygen Mask, the instruction goes, "If you are travelling with young children, always make sure you put on your own mask before you help others." It makes sense, what good are you to your child if you are unconscious from lack of oxygen? It is the very essence of 自身难保.
Yes I understand how fertility rate works - but I am talking more about adults who should focus on saving themselves first financially, who are in a 自身难保 situation. Should they be having children they cannot provide for? It's incredibly selfish to make children suffer as a result of the parents' inability to provide for them. For more on the squeezed generation, read my previous article here: http://limpehft.blogspot.co.uk/2012/05/dont-shoot-messenger.html
And if you wanna go down the geography lesson route - the planet is always way too overpopulated and way too polluted. Look at global warming, pollution and congestion in our cities. The population is way too large already because of people in places like India, Africa and Latin America still having too many children, so I believe that it is right that we should have less children when you look at the big picture as a globe, rather than focus on Singapore per se.
Typo: The saying 自身难保 comes to (MIND)
DeleteI have read Billy's article, and measured his words against what we have been experiencing here in Singapore.
DeleteSince you cannot perceive Billy's genuine suffering, which reflects what many Singaporean men of his generation are going through, I have nothing more to say.